Nosh and Drash - CSH 12/07/13Vayigash - Gen 44:18-47:27

Teshuvah - literally means "return" and is the word used to describe the concept of repentance in Judaism. Only by atoning for our sins can we restore balance to our relationship with God and with our fellow human beings.

Teshuvah is most frequently associated with the High Holy Days but people can seek forgiveness for wrongs they have committed at any time. There are several stages of teshuvah, including the sinner recognizing his or her wrongs, feeling sincere remorse and doing everything in their power to undo any damage that has been done. If a specific person has been wronged the offender must ask that person for forgiveness. The final stage of teshuvah is resolving to never commit such a sin again. According to Jewish tradition, by the third request the person who was wronged is required to grant forgiveness if the offender is sincerely remorseful and is taking steps to prevent similar wrongs from happening again.

Because teshuvah requires the sinner to ask forgiveness of the person they have offended it has been argued that a murderer cannot be forgiven for his or her crime. In order to do so they would have to ask the person they killed for forgiveness. There are two other offenses that come close to being unpardonable: defrauding the public and ruining a person's good name. In both cases it is nearly impossible to track down every person who was affected by the offense, for instance, every person affected by a monetary crime or every person who heard a rumor.

from: http://judaism.about.com/od/judaismbasics/g/teshuvah.htm

Teshuvah means RETURN, not APOLOGY or SORRY - why? what's the difference?

Did each party (Joseph and his Brothers) each show T'shuvah and if so, how?

--------------------------------

Here is Vayashev - where the bortherly conflict begins:
. (ה) וַיַּחֲלֹם יוֹסֵף חֲלוֹם וַיַּגֵּד לְאֶחָיו וַיּוֹסִפוּ עוֹד שְׂנֹא אֹתוֹ. (ו) וַיֹּאמֶר אֲלֵיהֶם שִׁמְעוּ נָא הַחֲלוֹם הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר חָלָמְתִּי. (ז) וְהִנֵּה אֲנַחְנוּ מְאַלְּמִים אֲלֻמִּים בְּתוֹךְ הַשָּׂדֶה וְהִנֵּה קָמָה אֲלֻמָּתִי וְגַם נִצָּבָה וְהִנֵּה תְסֻבֶּינָה אֲלֻמֹּתֵיכֶם וַתִּשְׁתַּחֲוֶיןָ לַאֲלֻמָּתִי. (ח) וַיֹּאמְרוּ לוֹ אֶחָיו הֲמָלֹךְ תִּמְלֹךְ עָלֵינוּ אִם מָשׁוֹל תִּמְשֹׁל בָּנוּ וַיּוֹסִפוּ עוֹד שְׂנֹא אֹתוֹ עַל חֲלֹמֹתָיו וְעַל דְּבָרָיו.
5) And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it to his brethren; and they hated him yet the more. (6) And he said unto them: ‘Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed: (7) for, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves came round about, and bowed down to my sheaf.’ (8) And his brethren said to him: ‘Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us?’ And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words.
Here is the realization of Joseph's original dream that enraged his brothers, he has become a 'Lord' over them:
(יח) וַיִּגַּשׁ אֵלָיו יְהוּדָה וַיֹּאמֶר בִּי אֲדֹנִי יְדַבֶּר נָא עַבְדְּךָ דָבָר בְּאָזְנֵי אֲדֹנִי וְאַל יִחַר אַפְּךָ בְּעַבְדֶּךָ כִּי כָמוֹךָ כְּפַרְעֹה.
(18) Then Judah came near unto him, and said: ‘Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord’s ears, and let not thine anger burn against thy servant; for thou art even as Pharaoh.
Here is the opportunity for the brothers' Teshuvah - what is it? How is it Teshuvah (if it is at all?)
(לג) וְעַתָּה יֵשֶׁב נָא עַבְדְּךָ תַּחַת הַנַּעַר עֶבֶד לַאדֹנִי וְהַנַּעַר יַעַל עִם אֶחָיו.
(33) Now therefore, let thy servant [Judah 'me'], I pray thee, abide instead of the lad [Benjamin] a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren [to his home and father].
What about Joseph? Has he done Teshuvah as well?
(ה) וְעַתָּה אַל תֵּעָצְבוּ וְאַל יִחַר בְּעֵינֵיכֶם כִּי מְכַרְתֶּם אֹתִי הֵנָּה כִּי לְמִחְיָה שְׁלָחַנִי אֱלֹהִים לִפְנֵיכֶם. (ו) כִּי זֶה שְׁנָתַיִם הָרָעָב בְּקֶרֶב הָאָרֶץ וְעוֹד חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים אֲשֶׁר אֵין חָרִישׁ וְקָצִּיר. (ז) וַיִּשְׁלָחֵנִי אֱלֹהִים לִפְנֵיכֶם לָשׂוּם לָכֶם שְׁאֵרִית בָּאָרֶץ וּלְהַחֲיוֹת לָכֶם לִפְלֵיטָה גְּדֹלָה. (ח) וְעַתָּה לֹא אַתֶּם שְׁלַחְתֶּם אֹתִי הֵנָּה כִּי הָאֱלֹהִים וַיְשִׂימֵנִי לְאָב לְפַרְעֹה וּלְאָדוֹן לְכָל בֵּיתוֹ וּמֹשֵׁל בְּכָל אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם.
(5) And now be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither; for God did send me[Joseph] before you to preserve [your] life. (6) For these two years hath the famine been in the land; and there are yet five years, in which there shall be neither plowing nor harvest. (7) And God sent me before you to give you a remnant on the earth, and to save you alive for a great deliverance. (8) So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God; and He hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and ruler over all the land of Egypt.
and here is a surprising entry into this narrative:
(טז) וְהַקֹּל נִשְׁמַע בֵּית פַּרְעֹה לֵאמֹר בָּאוּ אֲחֵי יוֹסֵף וַיִּיטַב בְּעֵינֵי פַרְעֹה וּבְעֵינֵי עֲבָדָיו. (יז) וַיֹּאמֶר פַּרְעֹה אֶל יוֹסֵף אֱמֹר אֶל אַחֶיךָ זֹאת עֲשׂוּ טַעֲנוּ אֶת בְּעִירְכֶם וּלְכוּ בֹאוּ אַרְצָה כְּנָעַן. (יח) וּקְחוּ אֶת אֲבִיכֶם וְאֶת בָּתֵּיכֶם וּבֹאוּ אֵלָי וְאֶתְּנָה לָכֶם אֶת טוּב אֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם וְאִכְלוּ אֶת חֵלֶב הָאָרֶץ. (יט) וְאַתָּה צֻוֵּיתָה זֹאת עֲשׂוּ קְחוּ לָכֶם מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם עֲגָלוֹת לְטַפְּכֶם וְלִנְשֵׁיכֶם וּנְשָׂאתֶם אֶת אֲבִיכֶם וּבָאתֶם. (כ) וְעֵינְכֶם אַל תָּחֹס עַל כְּלֵיכֶם כִּי טוּב כָּל אֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם לָכֶם הוּא.
(16) And the report thereof was heard in Pharaoh’s house, saying: ‘Joseph’s brethren are come’; and it pleased Pharaoh well, and his servants. (17) And Pharaoh said unto Joseph: ‘Say unto thy brethren: This do ye: lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan; (18) and take your father and your households, and come unto me; and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land. (19) Now thou art commanded, this do ye: take you wagons out of the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father, and come. (20) Also regard not your stuff; for the good things of all the land of Egypt are yours.’
and one more person in the story... Jacob. Has Jacob done Teshuvah? Does he need to do it?
(כז) וַיֹּאמֶר עַבְדְּךָ אָבִי אֵלֵינוּ אַתֶּם יְדַעְתֶּם כִּי שְׁנַיִם יָלְדָה לִּי אִשְׁתִּי. (כח) וַיֵּצֵא הָאֶחָד מֵאִתִּי וָאֹמַר אַךְ טָרֹף טֹרָף וְלֹא רְאִיתִיו עַד הֵנָּה. (כט) וּלְקַחְתֶּם גַּם אֶת זֶה מֵעִם פָּנַי וְקָרָהוּ אָסוֹן וְהוֹרַדְתֶּם אֶת שֵׂיבָתִי בְּרָעָה שְׁאֹלָה.
(27) And thy servant my father said unto us: Ye know that my wife bore me two sons; (28) and the one went out from me [Joseph], and I said: Surely he is torn in pieces; and I have not seen him since; (29) and if ye take this one [Benjamin] also from me, and harm befall him, ye will bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.
Above, Judah recounts to Jacob the conversation with his father, Jacob: Has Jacob done Teshuvah here? why/why not?
(כה) וַיַּעֲלוּ מִמִּצְרָיִם וַיָּבֹאוּ אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן אֶל יַעֲקֹב אֲבִיהֶם. (כו) וַיַּגִּדוּ לוֹ לֵאמֹר עוֹד יוֹסֵף חַי וְכִי הוּא מֹשֵׁל בְּכָל אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם וַיָּפָג לִבּוֹ כִּי לֹא הֶאֱמִין לָהֶם. (כז) וַיְדַבְּרוּ אֵלָיו אֵת כָּל דִּבְרֵי יוֹסֵף אֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר אֲלֵהֶם וַיַּרְא אֶת הָעֲגָלוֹת אֲשֶׁר שָׁלַח יוֹסֵף לָשֵׂאת אֹתוֹ וַתְּחִי רוּחַ יַעֲקֹב אֲבִיהֶם. (כח) וַיֹּאמֶר יִשְׂרָאֵל רַב עוֹד יוֹסֵף בְּנִי חָי אֵלְכָה וְאֶרְאֶנּוּ בְּטֶרֶם אָמוּת.
(25) And they went up out of Egypt, and came into the land of Canaan unto Jacob their father. (26) And they told him, saying: ‘Joseph is yet alive, and he is ruler over all the land of Egypt.’ And his heart fainted, for he believed them not. (27) And they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said unto them; and when he saw the wagons which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived. (28) And Israel said: ‘It is enough; Joseph my son is yet alive; I will go and see him before I die.’
What culpability (if any) does Jacob/Israel bear for the events leading to Joseph's initial demise at the hands of his brothers? Is this mitigated by Joseph's success? Does Jacob say anything about this? Does the text reveal any of this? What do you think of this?

Parenthood quotes from www.brainyquote.com

Once, the parental bed collapsed because all the children sat on it at once. - Diane Cilento

Some parents could do more for their children by not doing so much for them. – unknown

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

“I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.” - Maya Angelou

“The natural term of the affection of the human animal for its offspring is six years.” - George Bernard Shaw

“We're taught to expect unconditional love from our parents, but I think it is more the gift our children give us. It's they who love us helplessly, no matter what or who we are.” - Kathryn Harrison

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. -Oscar Wilde

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. - Bill Cosby

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield