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Save "Mishlei 10:1-5
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Mishlei 10:1-5
(א) מִשְׁלֵ֗י שְׁלֹ֫מֹ֥ה (פ) בֵּ֣ן חָ֭כָם יְשַׂמַּח־אָ֑ב וּבֵ֥ן כְּ֝סִ֗יל תּוּגַ֥ת אִמּֽוֹ׃
(1) The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son brings joy to his father; A dull son is his mother’s sorrow.

(א) בן חכם, שאסף חקי החכמה אל נפשו ומתנהג בהם, ישמח אב, שזה סימן שאביו הורהו דרך החכמה והמוסר, ובן כסיל, שהוא הנלוז מדרך החכמה מפני תאותו שזה גדר הכסיל, הוא סבת תוגת אמו, שהאם תקרב אותו ביותר עד שלכן ייחס תמיד הטוב אל אביו והרע אל אמו, כי האב הוא המורה מוסר והאם תגעגע אחר בנה ולא תניח אל האב ליסרו בשבט:

(א) משלי שלמה. לפי שעד כה דבר בשבח התורה וכאלו היא תאמר אמריה ועתה חזר לדבר דבריו כאשר ייסר איש את בנו לכן נאמר שוב משלי שלמה כאלו הוא ספר אחר ישמח אב. בראותו יושב במושב חכמים: (ב) תוגת אמו. כי הכסיל יתמיד לשבת בית עם אמו ובכל עת רואה שטותו ועצבונה מרובה:

Give and Take by Adam Grant p. 81

...psychologists have been asking married couples to put their relationships on the line. Think about your marriage, or your most recent romantic relationship. Of the total effort that goes into the relationship, from making dinner and planning dates to taking out the garbage and resolving conflicts, what percentage of the work do you handle?

Let’s say you claim responsibility for 55 percent of the total effort in the relationship. If you’re perfectly calibrated, your partner will claim responsibility for 45 percent, and your estimates will add up to 100 percent. In actuality, psychologists Michael Ross and Fiore Sicoly found that three out of every four couples add up to significantly more than 100 percent. Partners overestimate their own contributions. This is known as the responsibility bias: exaggerating our own contributions relative to others’ inputs.

The responsibility bias is partially driven by the desire to see and present ourselves positively. But there’s another factor at play that’s both more powerful and more flattering: information discrepancy. We have more access to information about our own contributions than the contributions of others. We see all of our own efforts, but we only witness a subset of our partners’ efforts. When we think about who deserves the credit, we have more knowledge of our own contributions. Indeed, when asked to list each spouse’s specific contributions to their marriage, on average, people were able to come up with eleven of their own contributions, but only eight of their partners’ contributions.

(ב) לֹא־י֭וֹעִילוּ אוֹצְר֣וֹת רֶ֑שַׁע וּ֝צְדָקָ֗ה תַּצִּ֥יל מִמָּֽוֶת׃ (ג) לֹֽא־יַרְעִ֣יב יְ֭הוָה נֶ֣פֶשׁ צַדִּ֑יק וְהַוַּ֖ת רְשָׁעִ֣ים יֶהְדֹּֽף׃
(2) Ill-gotten wealth is of no avail, But righteousness saves from death. (3) The LORD will not let the righteous go hungry, But He denies the wicked what they crave.

(א) לא יועילו אוצרות. לא יקבל אדם תועלת באוצרות שקבץ ברשע ובעול ואולם הפיזור בצדקה הוא מציל ממות בזכות הצדקה ינצל האדם ממות הנגזר לו מצד המערכת ויאריך השם יתברך ימיו והפך הענין בקבוץ ממון ברשע:

TyBennet.com

David Brooks, in an editorial titled “The Moral Bucket List,” developed the concept that there are “two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral.”

Both types of virtues are important and worth pursuing and honing, but only eulogy virtues have any lasting value and legacy. Developing résumé virtues is fairly straightforward. You read more books, you practice, you develop skills & you get more education. But the development of eulogy virtues is not as clear-cut. It involves a lifetime of making good decisions and prioritizing things of lasting value.

So if you are reading this: take a minute and think about who you are and how you want to be remembered. I hope you are building resume virtues but even more importantly I urge you to build eulogy virtues.

It’s not the glory

It’s not the fame

It’s not what you have

IT’S WHO YOU ARE

(ט) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר עֵשָׂ֖ו יֶשׁ־לִ֣י רָ֑ב אָחִ֕י יְהִ֥י לְךָ֖ אֲשֶׁר־לָֽךְ׃ (י) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֗ב אַל־נָא֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ וְלָקַחְתָּ֥ מִנְחָתִ֖י מִיָּדִ֑י כִּ֣י עַל־כֵּ֞ן רָאִ֣יתִי פָנֶ֗יךָ כִּרְאֹ֛ת פְּנֵ֥י אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַתִּרְצֵֽנִי׃ (יא) קַח־נָ֤א אֶת־בִּרְכָתִי֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הֻבָ֣את לָ֔ךְ כִּֽי־חַנַּ֥נִי אֱלֹהִ֖ים וְכִ֣י יֶשׁ־לִי־כֹ֑ל וַיִּפְצַר־בּ֖וֹ וַיִּקָּֽח׃
(9) Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours.” (10) But Jacob said, “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. (11) Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.” And when he urged him, he accepted.
(ד) רָ֗אשׁ עֹשֶׂ֥ה כַף־רְמִיָּ֑ה וְיַ֖ד חָרוּצִ֣ים תַּעֲשִֽׁיר׃ (ה) אֹגֵ֣ר בַּ֭קַּיִץ בֵּ֣ן מַשְׂכִּ֑יל נִרְדָּ֥ם בַּ֝קָּצִ֗יר בֵּ֣ן מֵבִֽישׁ׃
(4) Negligent hands cause poverty, But diligent hands enrich. (5) He who lays in stores during the summer is a capable son, But he who sleeps during the harvest is an incompetent.

(א) ראש עושה כף רמיה, הכף מציין רק כפות הידים, ויד מציין כל היד, ור"ל הכף של רמיה היינו של הרמאי, לא תעשה אותו לעשיר רק לרש, ופי' שמי שאינו חרוץ וזריז להביא פרנסתו בפועל יד, רק רוצה להתפרנס ע"י רמאות ולא ע"י עמל הידים רק בעסק הכף שבו מרמה, הכף יעשה אותו שיהיה רש, אבל יד חרוצים תעשיר, החרוץ שהוא הזריז במלאכתו והוא עוסק בכל היד ובכחו, ידו תעשיר אותו:

The Powerball jackpot dream – why lottery winners often lose it all

If you want to get academic about it, it’s called Sudden Wealth Syndrome and is described as the distress that afflicts individuals who suddenly come into large sums of money.

The term was coined by US psychologist Dr Stephen Goldbart and is characterised by potential anxiety, guilt and a sense of isolation that can come with a sudden influx of wealth.

According to Dr Golbart, sufferers can become overwhelmed, grow suspicious of people around them, and make poor decisions such as overspending or lending money to family and friends causing strain on relationships.

At least anecdotally, there is no shortage of cases that demonstrate the idea playing out in real life.

In 2003, British teenager Callie Rogers won the equivalent of $3.3 million at the tender age of 16. Just years later she claims the ostensibly lucky event had “ruined” her life.

... Anne Graham is CEO and Senior Financial Advisor at Story Wealth Management and says a sudden influx of wealth can be difficult for people to handle.

“We haven’t had a lot of lotto winners but we do work with people who have inherited significant amounts of money they weren’t expecting it,” she explained.

“It can come with a lot of anxiety and a sense of it being a burden on how to manage it well and not waste it.”

(א) אוגר בקיץ בן משכיל... ויש בזה מליצה, הבן משכיל ילמד גם בזקנותו הגם שאז לא יוכל לחדש הרבה רק לאגור מעט מעט, כמ"ש הלומד זקן למה הוא דומה, בכ"ז גם לערב אל ינח ידו, והבן מביש נרדם גם בנערותו שהיא עת הקציר והאסיף:

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