Today we focus on the middah (soul trait) of kavod (honor). Kavod comes up in a number of Jewish contexts, including:
- Lich’vod Shabbat (to honor Shabbat)
- Lichvod HaKodesh (honoring God)
- Kibud av va-eim (honoring father and mother)
- Lich’vod Torah (to honor Torah)
- Kavod haRav (honor of a rabbi or teacher)
- Kavod hameit (honor the dead)
The Hebrew root כ ב ד, k-v-d, appears in our Torah portion in another context as well, which we will explore shortly.
Rabbi Nancy Wechsler, "Kavod-Honor: Making an Effort," in Block, Rabbi Barry H.. The Mussar Torah Commentary: A Spiritual Path to Living a Meaningful and Ethical Life (p. 95). CCAR Press.
KAVOD (כָּבוֹד) is usually translated “honor” or “dignity.” Kol hakavod is enthusiastically exclaimed when someone has done something of worth. The root of kavod, כ-ב-ד carries other meanings as well, like “sweeping” (as in sweeping the floors to treat a place honorably), “liver” (the organ credited to purifying the body’s blood), and “heavy.” This single root contains nuances of purification, cleaning up, heavy lifting—and as a result of the effort, “honor.” Kavod does not come by osmosis; it takes muscle. Kavod demands that we muster our energy, clear away the clutter, and like a weight lifter, breathe into raising the weighted barbell high above our heads.
In her commentary, Rabbi Nancy Wechsler points out that this Torah portion is called "Bo" which means to come. Despite everything Moses approached Pharaoh with respect and honor:
Why is Pharaoh worthy of being honored? The answer, I believe, can be found in Moses’s childhood. Pharaoh’s daughter found baby Moses in the basket floating down the Nile. She rescued him to avoid the Pharaonic ruling of killing every male Jewish child. Pharaoh could have kept his ruling in place and decreed Moses’s death. Yet, Moses lived and was raised with riches in the palace, guided through life by none other than Pharaoh’s daughter (Exodus 2). Apparently, Pharaoh had decided to spare that one little boy and let him live. That single decision made Moses’s life and all his deeds possible. It was ultimately Pharaoh, not his daughter, who saved the life of Moses. To give honor to Pharaoh, to “come” to him, requires “sweeping away” everything but that one fact.
The Talmud teaches that even the Egyptians waging war with the Israelites were worthy of honor and respect:
בִּקְּשׁוּ מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת לוֹמַר שִׁירָה, אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא: מַעֲשֵׂה יָדַי טוֹבְעִין בַּיָּם, וְאַתֶּם אוֹמְרִים שִׁירָה?
The ministering angels wanted to sing their song, for the angels would sing songs to each other, as it states: “And they called out to each other and said” (Isaiah 6:3), but the Holy One, Blessed be He, said: The work of My hands, the Egyptians, are drowning at sea, and you wish to say songs? This indicates that God does not rejoice over the downfall of the wicked.
When the wicked perish there are shouts of joy.
If he trips, let your heart not rejoice,
Pharaoh's Hardened heart
(א) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה בֹּ֖א אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֑ה כִּֽי־אֲנִ֞י הִכְבַּ֤דְתִּי אֶת־לִבּוֹ֙ וְאֶת־לֵ֣ב עֲבָדָ֔יו לְמַ֗עַן שִׁתִ֛י אֹתֹתַ֥י אֵ֖לֶּה בְּקִרְבּֽוֹ׃
(1) Then the LORD said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh. For I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his courtiers, in order that I may display these My signs among them,
(יד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה כָּבֵ֖ד לֵ֣ב פַּרְעֹ֑ה מֵאֵ֖ן לְשַׁלַּ֥ח הָעָֽם׃
(14) And the LORD said to Moses, “Pharaoh has a hardened heart; he refuses to let the people go.
When the Holy One Blessed be He warns a man once, twice, thrice and he doesn't repent, and God will close his heart.... What does "I have hardened" imply? That God made his heart like a liver (כבד) into which even if boiled a second time no juice enters; so also was the heart of Pharaoh made like a liver, and he did not receive the words of God. Hence, "For I have hardened his heart".
Rabbi Nachman of Braslov (1772-1810), Likutei Moharan 6:2:4
Each person is required to minimize his own kavod (honor) and maximize the honor of the Omnipresent One. For anyone who pursues honor does not attain kavod Elohim (God’s glory), but kavod melakhim (glory of kings), of which it is said (Proverbs 25:2), “but the glory of kings is an investigated matter.” Everyone inquires about him “Who is he and what is he?” (Esther 7:5) that he is afforded such honor. And they oppose him, saying that he is not deserving of such kavod . However, the person who flees from glory—minimizing his own glory while maximizing the glory of God—attains kavod Elohim.
(א) בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר, אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קיט) מִכָּל מְלַמְּדַי הִשְׂכַּלְתִּי כִּי עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ שִׂיחָה לִּי.
(1) Ben Zoma said:Who is wise? He who learns from every man, as it is said: “From all who taught me have I gained understanding” (Psalms 119:99).
Rabbi Shalom Noach Barzofsky on Pirkei Avot 4:1
When the Mishnah asks, "Who is dignified?" it does not mean "Who is made dignified by other people," as is the common understanding. What value is there in being dependant on other people giving you dignity? Rather, "Who is dignified? One who gives dignity to all people" is teaching that the gaze of one person to another is like glancing in the mirror- if ther face is dirty they will see in the mirror a dirty face."
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe’s introduction to the middah of Kavod, Aley Shor II, as referenced in Rabbi David Jaffe's Addtional Resources for Changing the World from the Inside Out
“The word “Kavod” is from the Hebrew root “K.V.D.” (which means weighty or heavy). The diametric opposite is the word “Klala”(curse) which comes from the Hebrew root “K.L.” (light weight). When I relate to someone with due seriousness I honor him, and if I treat him lightly it is as if I curse him.”
“…Kavod is external behavior mandated by and appropriate to a reality of inner holiness. Behold, you have within you a Tzelem Elokim Kadosh (holy divine image) – this requires you to treat yourself with a certain level of self-respect…”
Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness
(On Kavod:) Do not seek honor for yourself, but go out of your way to honor others.
Honoring others...does not mean giving up the power and practice of exercising judgment, but puts the focus on moving away from unwise, useless, habitual, and even destructive acts of judgment. We start to move in that direction when we recognize the roots of the problem lie in our own fears and our own inadequacies...that make us fear that others will not give us the honor we feel we want or need.
Rabbi Abraham Isaac HaCohen Kook
"It is only when a person is in a state of low-level spirituality he will experience a desire to glorify himself before honoring others. Such a person will seek honor both through the virtues he possesses and with other virtues that he does not possess."
(יב) רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן שַׁמּוּעַ אוֹמֵר, יְהִי כְבוֹד תַּלְמִידְךָ חָבִיב עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁלְּךָ, וּכְבוֹד חֲבֵרְךָ כְּמוֹרָא רַבְּךָ, וּמוֹרָא רַבְּךָ כְּמוֹרָא שָׁמָיִם:
(12) Rabbi Elazar ben Shammua said: let the honor of your student be as dear to you as your own, and the honor of your colleague as the reverence for your teacher, and the reverence for your teacher as the reverence of heaven.
Rabbi Nancy Wechsler, "Kavod-Honor: Making an Effort"
Kavod means to honor someone by lifting them up. Sometimes, the weight is heavy. Still, the process has the potential to purify ourselves and others, raising us all.
Questions to Ask
What has been the result of a situation in which you have shown kavod toward another person? What kind of acknowledgment for another person strengthens the best within you?
What is the benefit of showing kavod toward another person even when you do not respect them?
How do its various connotations (“sweeping away,” “the purifying liver,” and “something of weight”) change your understanding of kavod?
