Lashon Hara

EVIL TALK (LASHON HARA)

The most common, and perhaps the most serious speech problem is lashon hara, literally, "evil talk." It refers to any statement that is derogatory or potentially harmful to others -- even if it is true. Although there are other distinctions in Jewish law, the term lashon hara is also popularly used to include tale bearing (rechilut) and slander (motzei shem ra) or spreading lies.

HURTFUL WORDS (ONA'AT DEVARIM)

Words can cause more pain than any weapon. The Torah says that the greatest pain in this world is embarrassment. One who embarrasses another so the person blushes is judged as if he spilled blood.

DECEPTIVE TALK (GANEVAT DA'AT)

Fooling people with words is also problematic. Asking a salesman "How much is this item?" is deceptive if one has no intention of actually buying the item. In many other ways we mislead others through our speech, including flattery and boasting.

DISGUSTING SPEECH (NIVUL PEH)

Included in this category are such things as curse words, off-color jokes, or negative innuendo. What's wrong with saying an occasional curse word? The Torah teaches that the way one acts on the outside affects who one is on the inside. So even if a person is basically good, once he begins to speak in a crude way, his character will become negatively affected.

Idle chatter also falls into this category of impure speech. A Jew shouldn't talk just for the sake of talking. First, this often leads to gossiping about others, simply because a person has nothing better to say. Second, in Judaism there is a concept that each person is allotted a certain number of words in their lifetime. Who wants to waste them on idle chatter?

-- https://www.aish.com/jl/i/s/kosher_speech.html

EVIL TALK (LASHON HARA)

The most common, and perhaps the most serious speech problem is lashon hara, literally, "evil talk." It refers to any statement that is derogatory or potentially harmful to others -- even if it is true. Although there are other distinctions in Jewish law, the term lashon hara is also popularly used to include tale bearing (rechilut) and slander (motzei shem ra) or spreading lies.

HURTFUL WORDS (ONA'AT DEVARIM)

Words can cause more pain than any weapon. The Torah says that the greatest pain in this world is embarrassment. One who embarrasses another so the person blushes is judged as if he spilled blood.

DECEPTIVE TALK (GANEVAT DA'AT)

Fooling people with words is also problematic. Asking a salesman "How much is this item?" is deceptive if one has no intention of actually buying the item. In many other ways we mislead others through our speech, including flattery and boasting.

DISGUSTING SPEECH (NIVUL PEH)

Included in this category are such things as curse words, off-color jokes, or negative innuendo. What's wrong with saying an occasional curse word? The Torah teaches that the way one acts on the outside affects who one is on the inside. So even if a person is basically good, once he begins to speak in a crude way, his character will become negatively affected.

Idle chatter also falls into this category of impure speech. A Jew shouldn't talk just for the sake of talking. First, this often leads to gossiping about others, simply because a person has nothing better to say. Second, in Judaism there is a concept that each person is allotted a certain number of words in their lifetime. Who wants to waste them on idle chatter?

-- https://www.aish.com/jl/i/s/kosher_speech.html

Maybe honesty isn’t always the best policy.

In the Talmud (Ketubot 17A), scholars from the schools of Hillel and Shammai disagree about everything. In one famous story, they debated what words one should sing when dancing in front of a bride at her wedding. The rabbis from Hillel’s school advise dancers to chant the same words in front of every bride: “What a beautiful and graceful bride!” The rabbis from the school of Shammai point out that this could be dishonest: “If she is lame or blind, are you really going to say of her, ‘What a beautiful and graceful bride?’”

Shammai’s scholars take a hard line against lying. Rather, they suggest, each bride should be described “as she is.”

So what’s more important–telling the truth or making others feel good?

Jewish law rules in favor of Hillel–we bend the truth and call even the ugliest bride a beauty. Some situations call for a pretty lie, rather than an ugly truth.

-- https://www.jta.org/jewniverse/2010/is-every-bride-beautiful-2