8 Common Characteristics Successful Women Share (from BetterHelp.com)
- Passion - When you’re passionate about what you’re doing, it’s much easier to find the drive and determination to carry on. While skills and experience may look great on a resume, they aren’t likely to catapult you to the next level. Add passion, and the sky’s the limit!
- Assertiveness - Tapping into your inner assertiveness will help you build confidence and begin setting boundaries, which is essential to your future success. A great place to start is by learning to say no and becoming aware of how often you say, “I’m sorry.” As women, we tend to ask for forgiveness when an apology isn’t necessary.
- Empathy - Many people believe empathy is a weakness. In reality, it’s one of our strongest innate strengths. Empathy allows us to relate to others. Empathetic women are often highly intuitive, which can be a wonderful trait in any situation where interpersonal interaction is required.
- The Ability To Embrace Imperfections - Dwelling on bad decisions and past mistakes zaps energy that could be better used elsewhere. No one gets it right 100% of the time, and expecting perfection almost always leads to disappointment and perceived failure.
- Ego - Learning to believe in yourself is one of the most powerful factors in achieving success on your terms. Just be sure not to base your self-worth on your achievements.
- Flexibility - Life will always throw us curveballs. Learning to adapt is one key to attaining success and preserving sanity. Inflexibility causes stress, which can hinder success and lead to a host of physical and mental health problems.
- Courage - It’s impossible to achieve success without putting ourselves out there. This often requires stepping outside our comfort zones and even taking risks.
- Gratitude - What do our successes really mean if we don’t appreciate them and the drive it took to achieve them? Gratitude can make us more appreciative of the mentors and coworkers who help us reach our goals, resulting in a more pleasant work environment and positive attitude.
Now it was at about that time that Yehuda went down, away from his brothers and turned aside to an Adullamite man—his name was Hira. There Yehuda saw the daughter of a Canaanite man—his name was Shua; he took her [as his wife] and came in to her. She became pregnant and bore a son, and he called his name: Er. She became pregnant again and bore a son, and she called his name: Onan. Once again she bore a son, and she called his name: Shela. Now he was in Ceziv when she bore him.
Don Yitzchak Abarbanel, often referred to simply as Abarbanel, wrote his commentary in Italy, after being exiled from Spain in 1492.
ויהי בעת ההיא וירד יהודה וגו' עד ויוסף הורד מצרים. כתב הרא"בע שהספור הזה היה קודם מכיר' יוסף ונכתב פה להפריש בין מעשה יוסף בדבר אשת אדוניו למעשה אחיו ולזה נמשך הרלב"ג ויש להם טענה על זה מאשר מצאנו כשירד יעקב למצרים היו ב' בנים לפרץ והנה אונן א"א שישא אשה ושחת ארצה אם לא שהיה לפחות בן י"ב שנה וירבו הימים וגדל שלה כאשר הרתה תמר והולידה פרץ והוא לא יהיה בהולידו את בניו פחות מי"ב ואיך יהיה כל זה בכ"ב שנה שעברו משנמכר יוסף עד רדת יעקב מצרימה.
At that time. This episode is inserted here to compare the founding of Yehudah’s dynasty with that of Yoseif’s dynasty, and to show how Providence saw to it that none of Yaakov’s offspring would be lost, so that even the sinful Er and Onan were replaced by the righteous Peretz and Zorach. Yehudah descended. He wanted to distance himself from his brothers’ cruelty as well as from his father’s sorrow. Nevertheless, from the fact that he went with his brothers to Egypt it is clear that he did not sever his ties to them altogether.
Yehuda took a wife for Er, his firstborn—her name was Tamar. But Er, Yehuda’s firstborn, did ill in the eyes of YHWH, and YHWH caused him to die. So Yehuda said to Onan: Come in to your brother’s wife, do a brother-in-law’s duty by her, and preserve seed for your brother! But Onan knew that the seed would not be his, so it was, whenever he came in to his brother’s wife, he let it go to ruin on the earth, so as not to provide seed for his brother. What he did was ill in the eyes of YHWH, and he caused him to die as well.
Targum Jonathan is a western targum (translation) of the Torah (Pentateuch) from the land of Israel. This targum is more than a mere translation. It is effectively a combination of a commentary and a translation. The date of its composition is disputed. It might have been initially composed in the 4th Century CE. However, some scholars date it in the 14th Century.
Rabbi David Kimchi (1160–1236), known as Radak, lived in France. One of the the most famous Bible commentators of his time, Radak was a grammarian, which is reflected in his commentary.
do a brother-in-law’s duty by her, it appears that the practice of the levirate marriage, yibbum, was something accepted long before the Torah was given to the Jewish people.
When brothers dwell together and one of them dies and leaves no offspring, the wife of the deceased shall not become that of another party, outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall unite with her: he shall take her as his wife and perform the levir’s duty. The first child that she bears shall be accounted to the dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out in Israel.
So Yehuda said to Tamar his daughter-in-law: Sit as a widow in your father’s house until Shela my son has grown up. For he said [to himself]: Otherwise he will die as well, like his brothers! So Tamar went and stayed in her father’s house.
Chizkuni is the commentary on the Torah of Rabbi Hezekiah ben Manoah, composed in mid-13th century in France. It is actually a compilation of insights culled from the Midrashim, as well as the writings of twenty other Rishonim, including Rashi, Rashbam and Ibn Ezra. However, Chizkuni does not name any of his sources (other than Rashi), in order to encourage objective study, as he felt that one should focus on the message rather than the messenger.
“for he had said (to himself) ‘”lest he die too;” On this line Rashi comments that Yehudah felt that Tamar was one of those women who has a tendency to bring about the death of her husbands. We have a statement to this effect in the Talmud Yevamot 64 as well as in Ketuvot 43, that if two husbands of a woman have died, one risks one’s life if one marries her. Even according to the opinion that such conclusions cannot be drawn unless the same woman had lost three husbands, Yehudah was afraid for the life of his son. The Talmud forbids a potential suitor to marry a woman with such a record.
Tur HaAroch is a commentary on the Torah, written c.1280 - c.1340, by Rabbi Jacob ben Asher. Also know as Ba’al haTurim (after his famous work, the Arba’ah Turim), Jacob ben Asher was a Jewish legal scholar and biblical commentator in late 13th and early 14th century Spain.
שבי אלמנה בית אביך. פי' שדחה אותה שלא הי' בדעתו להשיאו לה. וכתב הרמב"ן ולא ידעתי מה הי' צריך לדחותה ולא יאמר לה לכי לשלום
“dwell as a widow in your father’s home, etc.” This was a rejection of Tamar as Shelah’s future wife; Yehudah had no intention of ever letting Shelah marry Tamar. Nachmanides writes that he does not understand why Yehudah had to reject her in such a round about fashion; he could have simply told her to go home and feel free to marry anyone else.
וַיִּרְבּוּ֙ הַיָּמִ֔ים וַתָּ֖מׇת בַּת־שׁ֣וּעַ אֵֽשֶׁת־יְהוּדָ֑ה וַיִּנָּ֣חֶם יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיַּ֜עַל עַל־גֹּֽזְזֵ֤י צֹאנוֹ֙ ה֗וּא וְחִירָ֛ה רֵעֵ֥הוּ הָעֲדֻלָּמִ֖י תִּמְנָֽתָה׃ וַיֻּגַּ֥ד לְתָמָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֑ר הִנֵּ֥ה חָמִ֛יךְ עֹלֶ֥ה תִמְנָ֖תָה לָגֹ֥ז צֹאנֽוֹ׃
And many days passed. Now Shua’s daughter, Yehuda’s wife, died. [When] Yehuda had been comforted, he went up to his sheep-shearers, he and his friend Hira the Adullamite, to Timna. And Tamar was told, saying: Here, your father-in-law is going up to Timna to shear his sheep.
Rabbi Ovadiah ben Jacob Sforno, a 16th-century Italian rabbi and physician, wrote his Torah commentary c.1500 - c.1550 CE. The author often cites rabbinic statements to address philosophical as well as textual issues, and offers many novel interpretations rooted in these traditions.
Shua’s daughter died, so that Yehudah should have brought his daughter-in-law into his house as a replacement for his wife. This is what Avraham had done when Yitzchok’s wife Rivkah moved into Sarah’s tent after the latter had died. (24,67) Yehudah’s failure to give Tamar his wife’s quarters to live in may have caused her to despair of having any kind of future in his family.
Rabbi Meir Leibush ben Yehiel Michel Wisser (commonly known as Malbim) wrote his commentary in Warsaw in the mid-19th century. A trademark of the Malbim’s commentary is his belief that there are no synonyms or repetition in the Tanakh. Each word represents a different idea or concept.
Yosef Bekhor Shor lived in France in the late 12th century. His original commentary focuses on the simple understanding (peshat) and became influential for later Ashkenazi commentators.
לגוז צאנו. בשעה שהיו גוזזים צאנם היו שמחים ועושים סעודות גדולות כדכתיב באבשלום ובנבל ובשעה שאדם שמח יצרו מתגבר עליו ולכך בחרה לה בשעת גזיזת הצאן ובדין עשתה כי קודם מתן תורה כל הקרובין מייבמין ואפי' אביו של מת ומשלא ייבם שלה היה על יהודה ליבם
To shear his flock. At the time that they sheared their flocks, they would rejoice and hold feasts, as is written of Avshalom and Naval. And when a person is joyous, their sexual urges overcome them, and so she chose shearing-time. And she did this licitly, because before the giving of the Torah all relatives could perform yibum, even the father of the deceased. And since Shelah hadn't performed yibum, it fell to Yehuda.
וַתָּ֩סַר֩ בִּגְדֵ֨י אַלְמְנוּתָ֜הּ מֵֽעָלֶ֗יהָ וַתְּכַ֤ס בַּצָּעִיף֙ וַתִּתְעַלָּ֔ף וַתֵּ֙שֶׁב֙ בְּפֶ֣תַח עֵינַ֔יִם אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־דֶּ֣רֶךְ תִּמְנָ֑תָה כִּ֤י רָאֲתָה֙ כִּֽי־גָדַ֣ל שֵׁלָ֔ה וְהִ֕וא לֹֽא־נִתְּנָ֥ה ל֖וֹ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃
She removed her widow’s garments from her, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself, and sat down by the entrance to Enayim/Two-Wells, which is on the way to Timna, for she saw that Shela had grown up, yet she had not been given to him as a wife.
Tractate Sotah was written c.450 - c.550 CE and is part of the Talmud. It is primarily concerned with family law, the last three chapters discuss other rituals that involve recitation.
רִבִּי חִזְקִיָה בְשֵׁם רִבִּי אָחָא. רִבִּי חִייָה דָרִישׁ שָׁלֹשׁ מִקְרָאוֹת לִשְׁבָח. וַתֵּשֶׁב בְּפֶתַח עֵינַיִם. וְאֶיפְשַׁר כֵּן. אֲפִילוּ זוֹנָה שֶׁבַּזּוֹנוֹת אֵינָהּ עוֹשָׂה כֵן. אֶלָּא שֶׁתָּלָת עֵינֶיהָ לַפֶּתַח שֶׁכָּל־הָעֵינַיִם מְצַפּוֹת לוֹ. אָֽמְרָה לְפָנָיו. רִבּוֹן כָּל־הָעוֹלָמִים. אַל אֵצֵא רֵיקָם מִן הַבַּיִת הַזֶּה.
Rebbi Ḥizqiah in the name of Rebbi Aḥa: Rebbi Ḥiyya explains three verses as praise. “She sat at the entrance to the source.” Is that possible? Even the most depraved prostitute would not do that. But she lifted her eyes to the door to which all eyes are looking. She said before Him: Master of the Universe, let me not leave this family empty-handed.
The Zohar (Splendor or Radiance) was composed in Spain during the Middle Ages and is the foundational work in the literature of Jewish mystical thought known as Kabbalah. It is a group of books including commentary on the mystical aspects of the Torah and scriptural interpretations as well as material on mysticism, the nature of God, the origin and structure of the universe, the nature of souls, redemption, the relationship of Ego to Darkness and "true self" to "The Light of God", and the relationship between the "universal energy" and man.
Yehuda saw her, and he took her for a whore, for she had covered her face, so he turned aside to her by the road and said: Come-now, pray let me come in to you — for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said: What will you give me for coming in to me? He said: I myself will send out a goats’ kid from the flock. She said: [Only] if you give me a pledge, until you send it. He said: What is the pledge that I am to give you? She said: Your seal, your cord, and your staff that is in your hand. He gave them to her and then he came in to her, and she became pregnant by him. She arose and went away; then she put off her veil from her and clothed herself in her widow’s garments.
Daat Zekenim is a Torah commentary compiled by later generations of scholars from the writings of the Franco-German school in the 12th-13th century (Ba’alei Tosafot).
“he considered her as a harlot.” Why should Yehudah have cared? He turned around to resume on his way to the shearing. However, Tamar raised her face to heaven to pray and ask God why she should not be able to give birth to a worthwhile and intelligent son from the semen of such a righteous man as Yehudah. Upon hearing her prayer, God immediately dispatched the angel Michael who made Yehudah have second thoughts and turn around. The Torah here wrote: “he turned to her,” and we find the same expression in Numbers 22:33 where it is written of Bileam’s she-ass: “she turned around before me;” (the angel speaking to Bileam) in both instances the angel Michael was the subject. (subject discussed in B’reshit Rabbah 85:8)
Rabbi Bahya ben Asher (1255-1340) wrote his commentary in Spain during the Middle Ages. It incorporates the literal meaning along with allegorical, Midrashic, and Kabbalistic interpretations.
הבה נא אבא אליך. היה ראוי הכתוב לומר הבי, אבל מפני שהיתה בעינו זונה תובעת בפה כמנהג הזכר לכך שנה הכתוב ודבר לה בלשון זכר.
“if you please, I wish to have relations with you.” If the Torah had applied the rules of grammar here, it should have quoted Yehudah as saying havi instead of hava. However, seeing that Yehudah considered the woman a harlot, a woman who demands sexual relations outright in the manner males do, he changed his mode of address and treated her as if she were a male. The Torah preferred to quote Yehudah verbatim instead of observing the rules of grammar.
for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law, he did not even recognize her after he joined her in her private quarters. Had he recognized her he would surely have spoken to her concerning why he had not given her to his surviving son. God has His own agenda; clearly, it was His wish that Tamar bear a child or two children sired by Yehudah who in His eyes was more acceptable than his son Shelah [whose mother‘s antecedents we know little about.] God wanted that the eventual Messiah should have had genetic material dating back to Tamar.
ותאמר אם תתן ערבון. י"מ שבא עליה בקידושין וכן מפרשי' מה תתן לי כי תבוא אלי כלומר במה תקדשני ויאמר אנכי אשלח גדי עזים וגו', ותאמר אם תתן ערבון וגו' ויאמר וגו' ותאמר חותמך ופתילך וגו'. פי' טבעתך שאתה חותם בה וקדשה בטבעת.
“she said: ‘if you will give me a pledge’” some commentators claim that Yehudah did not sleep with Tamar until after he had given her a token to serve as a marriage betrothal. They interpret her question above as her asking for such a token. It was meant to mean: “what kind of token of your intention to wed me are you going to give me?” Yehudah’s answer was that he would send her a young goat. Thereupon she asked for a guarantee that he would indeed send that goat. By insisting that he would give her his signet ring she meant that this would be her wedding ring.
Now Yehuda sent the goats’ kid by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to fetch the pledge from the woman’s hand, but he could not find her. He asked the people of her place, saying: Where is that prostitute, the one in Two-Wells by the road? They said: There has been no prostitute here! So he returned to Yehuda and said: I could not find her; moreover, the people of the place said: There has been no prostitute here! Yehuda said: Let her keep them for herself, lest we become a laughing-stock. Here, I sent her this kid, but you, you could not find her.
Now it was, after almost three months, that Yehuda was told, saying: Tamar your daughter-in-law has played-the-whore, in fact, she has become pregnant from whoring! Yehuda said: Bring her out and let her be burned! [But as] she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law, saying: By the man to whom these belong I am pregnant. And she said: Pray recognize - whose seal and cords and staff are these? Yehuda recognized them and said: She is in-the-right more than I! For after all, I did not give her to Shela my son! And he did not know her again.
Tractate Bava Metzia ("The Middle Gate") was written c.450 - c.550 CE and is part of the Talmud. It mainly focuses on interpersonal matters that are not connected to damages, such as disputed property, usury, returning lost objects, guarding, renting, borrowing, and responsibilities of workers and employers.
Now it was at the time of her birthing, that here, twins were in her belly! And it was, as she was giving birth, that [one] put out a hand; the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying: This one came out first. But it was, as he pulled back his hand, here, his brother came out! So she said: What a breach you have breached for yourself! So they called his name: Peretz/Breach. Afterward his brother came out, on whose hand was the scarlet thread. They called his name: Zerah.
Midrash Tanchuma is a midrash (explanation) on the five books of the Torah, structured as sermons on the opening verses of each paragraph in the Torah. Named for the talmudic sage Rabbi Tanchuma, it was composed in Babylon, Italy, and Israel c.500 - c.800 CE. "Midrash Tanchuma Buber" refers to a version of Midrash Tanchuma published by Solomon Buber in 1885, based primarily on a manuscript that he discovered. Buber’s version differs significantly from the printed Tanchuma on the books of Genesis and Exodus, but his version of midrash on Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy largely resembles the printed version.
What is written above on the matter (in Gen. 38:13-14)? SO SHE PUT HER WIDOW'S CLOTHES OFF [FROM HER] AND COVERED HERSELF WITH A VEIL. Two women covered themselves with a veil and bore twins. These are Rebekah and Tamar. Of Rebekah it is written (in Gen. 24:65): SO SHE TOOK THE VEIL AND COVERED HERSELF. Then she bore twins, Esau and Jacob, as stated (in Gen. 25:24): BEHOLD, THERE WERE TWINS IN HER WOMB. As for Tamar, she covered herself with a veil and (according to Gen. 38:27-30) bore twins, Perez and Zerah.
Twins. This is the only instance when this word is spelled with both the letter א and the letter ו, i.e. pointing to the fact that these two were properly matched twins, i.e. both boys would grow up righteous.
The Book of Ruth is one of the five megillot (scrolls), part of the section of the Hebrew Bible called Writings, and is traditionally read on the holiday of Shavuot. It tells the story of Ruth, a widow of Moabite origin who insists on staying with her widowed, Israelite mother-in-law. Ruth’s loyalty leads her to the field of her kinsman, Boaz, whom she ultimately marries. Together they have a child, who later becomes the grandfather of King David. It was composed in Judea/Israel c.900 - c.400 BCE.
And may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah—through the offspring which the LORD will give you by this young woman.”
Hayyim Yosef David Azulai (known as Chida) was a Rabbinic scholar, prolific writer, publisher, pioneering biographer and bibliographer based in Warsaw. Towards the end of the 18th century, he composed Nachal Eshkol, a homiletical commentary on the Five Megilot (scrolls).