Seder Plate
Beitzah - Egg
What do you get when you tap twice on an egg and the yellow part comes out?
Knock, knock, yolk
Charoset - bricks & morter
Proper chopper shoppers shop for sharper copper choppers.
Sharper chopper shoppers shop for proper copper choppers.
A proper chopper shopper's chopper's sharper.
Karpas - greens
Lettuce not panic. We are not green sailors. If we keep our heads straight, I'm sure we can make it out of this alive. - Matty Malaprop
Maror - bitter herbs
Betty Bodder bought a bit of bitter butter. "That butter's bitter," Bodder spluttered, "It would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter oughta make my batter better." Then Betty Bodder bought a bit of better butter, better than the bitter butter, and the batter was made better by the bit of better butter Betty Bodder bought.
Zeroa - shankbone
The sixth Sikh sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
The sick Sikh sheik's slick sheep's sixth.
The strict Sikh sheik's sleek sixth sheep's streaked.
The slick sheik's sick sixth sheep seeks sleep.
Tapuz - orange
What Am I?
I grow on trees but I’m not a leaf
I’m spherical but I’m not a soccer ball
I provide juice but I’m not an apple
I’m sometimes naval but I’m not a sailor
I’m a color but I’m not red
Beitzah - Egg
What do you get when you tap twice on an egg and the yellow part comes out?
Knock, knock, yolk
Charoset - bricks & morter
Proper chopper shoppers shop for sharper copper choppers.
Sharper chopper shoppers shop for proper copper choppers.
A proper chopper shopper's chopper's sharper.
Karpas - greens
Lettuce not panic. We are not green sailors. If we keep our heads straight, I'm sure we can make it out of this alive. - Matty Malaprop
Maror - bitter herbs
Betty Bodder bought a bit of bitter butter. "That butter's bitter," Bodder spluttered, "It would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter oughta make my batter better." Then Betty Bodder bought a bit of better butter, better than the bitter butter, and the batter was made better by the bit of better butter Betty Bodder bought.
Zeroa - shankbone
The sixth Sikh sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
The sick Sikh sheik's slick sheep's sixth.
The strict Sikh sheik's sleek sixth sheep's streaked.
The slick sheik's sick sixth sheep seeks sleep.
Tapuz - orange
What Am I?
I grow on trees but I’m not a leaf
I’m spherical but I’m not a soccer ball
I provide juice but I’m not an apple
I’m sometimes naval but I’m not a sailor
I’m a color but I’m not red
Before the Kadesh orchatz song - Why do we have a Haggadah to read on Passover? So we can Seder right words
Kadeish קדש – recital of Kiddush blessing and drinking of the first cup of wine
How much whine would a wine drinker whine, if a wine drinker couldn't drink wine?
(Before first Kiddush ) - What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine
Urchatz ורחץ – the washing of the hands
I can clean with a pump, slick, and rub. I don't bubble and I'm never used in a tub. What am I?
Karpas כרפס – dipping of the karpas in salt water
What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be eaten?
Yachatz יחץ – breaking the middle matzo; the larger piece becomes the afikoman
A Jew took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Shortly thereafter a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jew offered a sheet of matzoh to the blind man.
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzoh for a minute, and exclaimed, "Who wrote this?"
Maggid מגיד – retelling the Passover story, including the recital of "the four questions" and drinking of the second cup of wine
Where does today meet yesterday? A museum
(Right after avadim hayinu) - Who is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder
How many Israelites does it take to screw in a light bulb? One nation, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm
At one spot where you mention Moses' name (even though you aren't supposed to) - How many Moses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, he has a staff for those kinds of requests
(Before Dayenu) - What did the Red Sea say to the Jews when it was split? Nothing. It just waved.
Rachtzah רחצה – second washing of the hands
I can hold things but I’m not a bag
I’m used to write things down but I’m not a pen
I have digits but I’m not a cell phone
I have nails but I’m not a hook
Motzi מוציא, Matzo מצה – blessing before eating matzo
(Before motzi/matzah) - Why did the matzah quit his job? A. Because he didn’t get a raise!!
What kind of fish likes to eat between meals? A snackerel.
Maror מרור – eating of the maror
I’m a family of seven,
Two are bitter and harsh,
Four are twins,
The last is the warmest of all.
What family am I?
Answer: Arctic Ocean, Antarctic Ocean, North Atlantic Ocean, South Atlantic Ocean, North Pacific Ocean, South Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean
Koreich כורך – eating of a sandwich made of matzo and maror
Six sick chicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
Shulchan oreich שלחן עורך – lit. "set table"—the serving of the holiday meal
I give you a group of three.
One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry.
The third goes away and never returns.
Do you know what they are?
Answer
1. Stove (One is sitting down, and will never get up).
2. Fire (The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry).
3. Smoke (The third goes away and never returns).
Tzafun צפון – eating of the afikoman
(When checking Elijah’s cup) – How old is Elijah? Elijah is so old that when people search for him on the internet they use that web-browser called EliYAHOOOOOO!
Little meshugeneh yids. Little meshugeneh yids.
See how they run. See how they look.
They all look under the leader's chair,
Who refuses to move with the guilty stare,
Did you ever see such a joyful affair,
As little meshugeneh yids?
Bareich ברך – blessing after the meal and drinking of the third cup of wine
I fear that one day I will meet God, God will sneeze, and I won't know what to say.
Hallel הלל – recital of the Hallel, traditionally recited on festivals; drinking of the fourth cup of wine
A Jew is driving frantically in a parking lot looking for a spot because he is late for a meeting. He looks up and says, "God, if you show me a spot, I promise to go to synagogue every Shabbat." Suddenly there appears an opening between two cars. The Jew quickly looks up and says: "Thanks anyway God I am all set."
Nirtzah נירצה – say "Next Year in Jerusalem!"
(Right before Nirtza) - Q: What’s the best cheese to eat on Pesach? A: Matza-rella.
Everywhere (contributed by Ross Ramsay)
At the beginning of eternity,
At the end of space and time,
At the start of every end,
At the end of every place.
What am I?
Answer
(Right before Echad mi yodeah) - How many Seder’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who knows, one?
(Right Before Chad Gadya) - "My father bought for two zuzim"
A Jew goes into his local bank but is surprised to see a bank-teller he doesn't recognize. This gentleman has a cross necklace on, but the Jew thinks nothing of it. The Jew asks the bank-teller to break up $2000 for him. The teller says, "How many different denominations do you want? The Jew says, "Not you too!"
Kadeish קדש – recital of Kiddush blessing and drinking of the first cup of wine
How much whine would a wine drinker whine, if a wine drinker couldn't drink wine?
(Before first Kiddush ) - What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine
Urchatz ורחץ – the washing of the hands
I can clean with a pump, slick, and rub. I don't bubble and I'm never used in a tub. What am I?
Karpas כרפס – dipping of the karpas in salt water
What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be eaten?
Yachatz יחץ – breaking the middle matzo; the larger piece becomes the afikoman
A Jew took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Shortly thereafter a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jew offered a sheet of matzoh to the blind man.
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzoh for a minute, and exclaimed, "Who wrote this?"
Maggid מגיד – retelling the Passover story, including the recital of "the four questions" and drinking of the second cup of wine
Where does today meet yesterday? A museum
(Right after avadim hayinu) - Who is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder
How many Israelites does it take to screw in a light bulb? One nation, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm
At one spot where you mention Moses' name (even though you aren't supposed to) - How many Moses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, he has a staff for those kinds of requests
(Before Dayenu) - What did the Red Sea say to the Jews when it was split? Nothing. It just waved.
Rachtzah רחצה – second washing of the hands
I can hold things but I’m not a bag
I’m used to write things down but I’m not a pen
I have digits but I’m not a cell phone
I have nails but I’m not a hook
Motzi מוציא, Matzo מצה – blessing before eating matzo
(Before motzi/matzah) - Why did the matzah quit his job? A. Because he didn’t get a raise!!
What kind of fish likes to eat between meals? A snackerel.
Maror מרור – eating of the maror
I’m a family of seven,
Two are bitter and harsh,
Four are twins,
The last is the warmest of all.
What family am I?
Answer: Arctic Ocean, Antarctic Ocean, North Atlantic Ocean, South Atlantic Ocean, North Pacific Ocean, South Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean
Koreich כורך – eating of a sandwich made of matzo and maror
Six sick chicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
Shulchan oreich שלחן עורך – lit. "set table"—the serving of the holiday meal
I give you a group of three.
One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry.
The third goes away and never returns.
Do you know what they are?
Answer
1. Stove (One is sitting down, and will never get up).
2. Fire (The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry).
3. Smoke (The third goes away and never returns).
Tzafun צפון – eating of the afikoman
(When checking Elijah’s cup) – How old is Elijah? Elijah is so old that when people search for him on the internet they use that web-browser called EliYAHOOOOOO!
Little meshugeneh yids. Little meshugeneh yids.
See how they run. See how they look.
They all look under the leader's chair,
Who refuses to move with the guilty stare,
Did you ever see such a joyful affair,
As little meshugeneh yids?
Bareich ברך – blessing after the meal and drinking of the third cup of wine
I fear that one day I will meet God, God will sneeze, and I won't know what to say.
Hallel הלל – recital of the Hallel, traditionally recited on festivals; drinking of the fourth cup of wine
A Jew is driving frantically in a parking lot looking for a spot because he is late for a meeting. He looks up and says, "God, if you show me a spot, I promise to go to synagogue every Shabbat." Suddenly there appears an opening between two cars. The Jew quickly looks up and says: "Thanks anyway God I am all set."
Nirtzah נירצה – say "Next Year in Jerusalem!"
(Right before Nirtza) - Q: What’s the best cheese to eat on Pesach? A: Matza-rella.
Everywhere (contributed by Ross Ramsay)
At the beginning of eternity,
At the end of space and time,
At the start of every end,
At the end of every place.
What am I?
Answer
(Right before Echad mi yodeah) - How many Seder’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who knows, one?
(Right Before Chad Gadya) - "My father bought for two zuzim"
A Jew goes into his local bank but is surprised to see a bank-teller he doesn't recognize. This gentleman has a cross necklace on, but the Jew thinks nothing of it. The Jew asks the bank-teller to break up $2000 for him. The teller says, "How many different denominations do you want? The Jew says, "Not you too!"