Questions to Ponder:
1) Your girlfriend and you prepare for a big night out, and as you are getting ready, she comes in and asks you, "Does this dress make me look fat?" What do you respond?
2) You are the CEO of a mid-sized company, and you walk in on Tuesday after a crazy morning. You stubbed your toe, your husband yelled at you for being too disorganized, and your toddler found a permanent marker and decided to scribble all over the wall. At 9 am you have a meeting with your CFO and and top marketing executive. They ask you how your morning has been, what do you respond?
3) After some serious Jewish inspiration on your RAJE Israel trip, you decide to start wearing a kippah back at home in public. But you aren't fully observant in other areas and somewhat feel like a hypocrite, what do you do?
(שמות כה, יא) מבית ומחוץ תצפנו אמר רבא כל תלמיד חכם שאין תוכו כברו אינו תלמיד חכם
“From within and from without you shall cover it” (Exodus 25:11). Rava said: Any Torah scholar whose inside is not like his outside, i.e., whose outward expression of righteousness is insincere, is not to be considered a Torah scholar.
(ו) אָסוּר לָאָדָם לְהַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ בְּדִבְרֵי חֲלָקוֹת וּפִתּוּי. וְלֹא יִהְיֶה אֶחָד בַּפֶּה וְאֶחָד בַּלֵּב אֶלָּא תּוֹכוֹ כְּבָרוֹ וְהָעִנְיָן שֶׁבַּלֵּב הוּא הַדָּבָר שֶׁבַּפֶּה. וְאָסוּר לִגְנֹב דַּעַת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וַאֲפִלּוּ דַּעַת הַנָּכְרִי. כֵּיצַד.
(6) It is forbidden for man to demean himself by the use of the language of flattery and allurement; and he shall not be one thing with his mouth and another with his heart; but his inner and outer being must be the same, for the subject of the heart is the matter of the mouth...
(א) את הגמל כי מעלה גרה הוא. הול"ל כי פרסה איננו מפריס שזה עיקר טעם אל הטומאה וכן בשפן וארנבת קשה זה, ובחזיר אמר כי מפריס פרסה הוא הל"ל כי אינו מעלה גרה, ולמה התחיל בכולם בסימן טהרה שלהם וביאור ענין זה שסימן טהרה שבכולם מוסיף טומאה על טומאתן כדרך שאמרו בעשו (בר"ר סה א) שנמשל לחזיר שפושט את טלפיו להראות כאילו כשר
(1) For he chews his cud. Why does the Torah always begin with their sign of purity first? The explanation is because their pure sign adds extra impurity to their impurity... a pig that sticks out its hoofs when it lies down to make it appear as if it is kosher, but its innards are full of deceit. This represents anyone whose inside is not like his outside, in the manner of the hypocrites … Therefore, the pig’s split hoof is a sign of impurity because the split hoof can deceive people and make it appear as if it is kosher.
(1) ויאמר הנני, “He said: “Here I Am.”
G–d responded that though you showed your preparedness with the same word as your forefather Avraham when I called upon him, this is not what I come to ask of you. We know from Proverbs 25,6, “do not stand in the place of great men.” Aaron was commanded to come close to holy sites, the altar, Not so Moses. He had to shun a holy site.
(ג) צריך ליתן הצדקה בסבר פנים יפות בשמחה ובטוב לבב ומתאונן עם העני בצערו ומדבר לו דברי תנחומין ואם נתנה בפנים זועפות ורעות הפסיד זכותו:
(3) Charity should be given with a friendly countenance, with joy, and with a good heart; the giver should, sympathize with the poor man, and should speak words of comfort to him. If he gives with a displeased countenance he loses his reward.
Beit Shammai Says: Praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities.
And Beit Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride...
But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7).
Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: ... You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive.
אמר רבי אילעא אין העולם מתקיים אלא בשביל מי שבולם את עצמו בשעת מריבה שנאמר תולה ארץ על בלימה
With regard to that verse, Rabbi Ile’a says: The world endures only in the merit of one who restrains himself during a quarrel, as it is stated: “He hangs the earth upon nothing."
Path of the Just - Section on Alacrity
But for a man in whom this longing does not burn as it should, a good advice for him is to act with zeal by force of will in order that this will bring an inner awakening of this longing in his inner nature. For the external movement rouses the inner ones and certainly the external movement is more in his power than the inner ones.