Being a Mensch in a Toxic World: What To Do?

Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because of three evils in it: idolatry, sexual immorality and bloodshed . . . But why was the Second Temple destroyed, seeing that during the time it stood people occupied themselves with Torah, with observance of precepts, and with the practice of charity? Because during the time it stood, hatred without rightful cause prevailed. This is to teach you that hatred without rightful cause is deemed as grave as all the three sins of idolatry, sexual immorality and bloodshed together. [AJWS translation]

(1) Each and every one of the sons of man has many innate tendencies which differ one from the other and which are extremely afar. There is one man of a feverish temperment, constantly vexed, and there is another man of a calm disposition, without angry moods whatever, and if he does show anger it is but one bit of anger in many years; one man is overmuch supercilious, and another man is extremely unobtrusive; one is sensual, whose being is never stilled by the pursuit of propensity, and one is so pure-hearted that he feels no craving even for the barest necessities of the body; one's being is so greedy that the world's money will not satisfy him, as the subject is spoken of: "He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver" (Ecc. 5.10); and one's being is so restrained that he considers enough even part of the little which is insufficient for his need and he will not pursue to attain all needs; one suffers hunger in his effort of hoarding and does not eat a cent's worth of his own without great torture to himself, and another wastes his money with his own hand deliberately. And of such ways are all the rest of the tendencies, as the optimist and pessimist, miser and philanthropist, cruel and merciful, coward and stout-hearted and the like.

(4) The straight path is the mean disposition found in each and every tendency of all the human tendencies. Such tendency is removed from both extremes an equal distance, and is not nearer to one than to the other. Therefore have the wise men of yore commanded that man should ever review his tendencies,¹Sotah, 5b. C. estimate them, and direct them toward the middle-path so that he will be sound in body. How may one do it? He should not be an excitable person, easily angered; nor like the dead without feelings, but adopt a middle-course, not to become indignant, save only at something big which is worthy enough to be angry at, so that the like should not be done another time.

(2) And how may their cure be? He who is of a hot temperment should be taught to demean himself this wise: If he be smitten and cursed, he must not feel the insult at all. and follow this way a long time until anger will be completely rooted out from his heart. And he who was arrogant should accustom himself to a life of extreme self-abasement by occupying the lowermost seat of everybody, and dress in such rags which shame those that wear them, and do such in like matters until the haughtiness of his heart will be rooted out of him, when he will return to the middle-way, which is the good way. But when he will return to the middle-way he should follow it throughout his lifetime. And this line he should follow in all the rest of his tendencies; if he had distanced himself to the extreme point of one he should remove himself to the extreme end of the other and follow it up a long time until he may return to the good way, which is the middle-standard in each and every tendency.