Won't You be my Neighbor? Teaching our Children to Love Themselves so they can Love their Neighbors as Themselves

(ד) שְׁמַ֖ע יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל יְהוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ יְהוָ֥ה ׀ אֶחָֽד׃ (ה) וְאָ֣הַבְתָּ֔ אֵ֖ת יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכָל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ וּבְכָל־מְאֹדֶֽךָ׃ (ו) וְהָי֞וּ הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה אֲשֶׁ֨ר אָנֹכִ֧י מְצַוְּךָ֛ הַיּ֖וֹם עַל־לְבָבֶֽךָ׃ (ז) וְשִׁנַּנְתָּ֣ם לְבָנֶ֔יךָ וְדִבַּרְתָּ֖ בָּ֑ם בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ֤ בְּבֵיתֶ֙ךָ֙ וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ֣ בַדֶּ֔רֶךְ וּֽבְשָׁכְבְּךָ֖ וּבְקוּמֶֽךָ׃ (ח) וּקְשַׁרְתָּ֥ם לְא֖וֹת עַל־יָדֶ֑ךָ וְהָי֥וּ לְטֹטָפֹ֖ת בֵּ֥ין עֵינֶֽיךָ׃ (ט) וּכְתַבְתָּ֛ם עַל־מְזוּזֹ֥ת בֵּיתֶ֖ךָ וּבִשְׁעָרֶֽיךָ׃ (ס)

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

(4) Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. (5) You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (6) Take to heart these instructions with which I charge you this day. (7) Impress them upon your children. Recite them when you stay at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up. (8) Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them serve as a symbol on your forehead; (9) inscribe them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

קידושין כ״ט א:י׳

תנינא להא דת"ר האב חייב בבנו למולו ולפדותו וללמדו תורה ולהשיאו אשה וללמדו אומנות וי"א אף להשיטו במים רבי יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמד את בנו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות:

Kiddushin 29a:10

The Gemara comments: According to this interpretation, we learn in this mishna that which the Sages taught in a baraita: A father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to marry him to a woman, and to teach him a trade. And some say: A father is also obligated to teach his son to swim. Rabbi Yehuda says: Any father who does not teach his son a trade teaches him banditry [listut]. The Gemara expresses surprise at this statement: Can it enter your mind that he actually teaches him banditry? Rather, the baraita means that it is as though he teaches him banditry. Since the son has no profession with which to support himself, he is likely to turn to theft for a livelihood. This baraita accords with Rav Yehuda’s interpretation of the mishna.

ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL, I ASKED FOR WONDER: A SPIRITUAL ANTHOLOGY

Everything depends on the person who stands in front of the classroom. The teacher is not an automatic fountain from which intellectual beverages may be obtained. The teacher is either a witness or a stranger. To guide a pupil into the promised land, the teacher must have been there themselves. When asking themselves: Do I stand for what I teach? Do I believe what I say?, the teacher must be able to answer in the affirmative. What we need more than anything else is not textbooks, but textpeople. It is the personality of the teacher which is the text that the pupils read: the text that they will never forget.

סוכה מ״ו ב:י׳

וא"ר זירא לא לימא איניש לינוקא דיהיבנא לך מידי ולא יהיב ליה משום דאתי לאגמוריה שיקרא שנא' (ירמיהו ט, ד) למדו לשונם דבר שקר

Sukkah 46b:10

And Rabbi Zeira said: A person should not say to a child: I will give you something, and then not give it to him, because he thereby comes to teach him about lying, as it is stated: “They have taught their tongues to speak lies” (Jeremiah 9:4). One must not accustom a child to fail to honor commitments.

משנה תורה, הלכות תלמוד תורה א׳:ב׳

(ב) כְּשֵׁם שֶׁחַיָּב אָדָם לְלַמֵּד אֶת בְּנוֹ כָּךְ הוּא חַיָּב לְלַמֵּד אֶת בֶּן בְּנוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ד ט) "וְהוֹדַעְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְלִבְנֵי בָנֶיךָ". וְלֹא בְּנוֹ וּבֶן בְּנוֹ בִּלְבַד אֶלָּא מִצְוָה עַל כָּל חָכָם וְחָכָם מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל לְלַמֵּד אֶת כָּל הַתַּלְמִידִים אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינָן בָּנָיו. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ו ז) "וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ" מִפִּי הַשְּׁמוּעָה לָמְדוּ בָּנֶיךָ אֵלּוּ תַּלְמִידֶיךָ שֶׁהַתַּלְמִידִים קְרוּיִין בָּנִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מלכים ב ב ג) "וַיֵּצְאוּ בְנֵי הַנְּבִיאִים". אִם כֵּן לָמָּה נִצְטַוָּה עַל בְּנוֹ וְעַל בֶּן בְּנוֹ. לְהַקְדִּים בְּנוֹ לְבֶן בְּנוֹ וּבֶן בְּנוֹ לְבֶן חֲבֵרוֹ:

Mishneh Torah, Torah Study 1:2

(2) Even as man is obliged to instruct his son, so is he obliged to teach his son's son, for it is said: "But make them known to thy sons and thy sons' sons" (Ibid. 4.9); and, not alone to his son and his son's son, but each and every scholar in Israel is commanded to instruct all who desire to be his disciples, even though they be not his sons, for it is said: "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children" (Ibid. 6.7.), which is traditionally interpreted²Sifre, Deut. 11. C. G. to include one's disciples; for disciples, too, are called children, as it is said: "And the sons of the prophets came forth" (Second Kings, 2.3.). If it be so, why then was one commanded to teach his son and his son's son? To permit the precedence of one's son to one's son's son, and his son's son to the son of his fellow.³Sukkah, 30b; Kiddushin, 30. G.

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