~ Our portion is called Kedoshim. It has 51 mitzvot, making it the most mitzvah dense portion in the Torah: that means, the most mitzvot per number of verses.
~ Read closely our triennial cycle. How many of those mitzvot deal with honesty, in your opinion?
~ How serious is the mitzvah of being honest, in general, in your opinion? Do you have to be honest at all times? Why or why not?
וריש לקיש אמר תיו סוף חותמו של הקדוש ברוך הוא דאמר רבי חנינא חותמו של הקדוש ברוך הוא אמת
And Reish Lakish said: The letter tav is the last letter of the seal of the Holy One, Blessed be He, as Rabbi Ḥanina said: The seal of the Holy One of Blessing is truth [emet], which ends with the letter tav.
חותמו של הקב"ה אמת - אמצעית לאותיות וראשון ואחרון על שם אני ראשון ואני אחרון ואני הוא:
The seal of the Holy One of Blessing is Truth - the middle one of the letters [of the Hebrew alphabet], and the first and the last, which indicates "I am first, and I am last, and I am all that there is" (cf. Isaiah 44:6 and Isaiah 48:12)
מדבר שקר תרחק. הרחק מעליך דוברי שקרים ורכילים שעליו כבר הזהיר לא תשא שמע שוא ואז נקי וצדיק אל תהרוג כי השקרנים גורמים להרג צדיקים ונקיים:
Distance yourself from a false matter - put distance between yourself and those who speak lies, and gossipers, since on this the text already warned: 'you must not carry false rumors' (Exodus 23:1) and then 'do not bring death on those who are innocent and in the right' (Ex. 23:7) because liars cause the killing of the ones in the right and of the innocent.
The Sages taught: From where is it derived that a judge should not engage in advocacy for his own statements and devise various pretexts to justify his erroneous rulings? It is derived as the verse states: “Distance yourself from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). And from where is it derived with regard to a judge that a student who is an ignoramus should not sit before him to discuss the proceedings? It is derived as the verse states: “Distance yourself from a false matter.” When an ignorant student engages in the proceedings, he is apt to cause the judge to err in judgment.
Idolatry is the practice of treating something of relative importance as though it were of ultimate significance. In our idolatrous age, we often act as though money, careers, sex appeal, or prestige are of ultimate importance, when in fact, they are only worthwhile to the degree that they can contribute to our becoming better, more compassionate and more responsible people.... It is altogether common to treat honesty as the highest value possible. We justify an unkind remark with the observation that it is true; we make a virtue of telling it like it is, regardless of the effects of our self-centered "integrity." [Rabbi Bradley Artson, commentary on Vayera, at: myjewishlearning.com]
וא"ר אילעא משום רבי אלעזר בר' שמעון מותר לו לאדם לשנות בדבר השלום שנאמר (בראשית נ, טז) אביך צוה וגו כה תאמרו ליוסף אנא שא נא וגו' ר' נתן אומר מצוה שנאמר (שמואל א טז, ב) ויאמר שמואל איך אלך ושמע שאול והרגני וגו' דבי רבי ישמעאל תנא גדול השלום שאף הקדוש ברוך הוא שינה בו דמעיקרא כתיב (בראשית יח, יב) ואדוני זקן ולבסוף כתיב ואני זקנתי:
The Gemara cites other statements made by Rabbi Ile’a in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon. ... And Rabbi Ile’a further said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: It is permitted for a person to depart from the truth in a matter that will bring peace, as it is stated: “Your father commanded before he died, saying: So you shall say to Joseph: Please pardon your brothers’ crime, etc.” (Genesis 50:16–17). Jacob never issued this command, but his sons falsely attributed this statement to him in order to preserve peace between them and Joseph. Rabbi Natan says: It is a mitzva to depart from the truth in order to preserve peace, as it is stated: “And Samuel said: How can I go, and Saul will hear and kill me” (I Samuel 16:2). God responded in the next verse that Samuel should say he went to sacrifice an offering, indicating that God commands one to lie in order to preserve peace. It was taught in the school of Rabbi Yishmael: Great is peace, as even the Holy One, Blessed be He, departed from the truth for it. As, initially it is written that Sarah said of Abraham: “And my lord is old” (Genesis 18:12), and in the end it is written that God told Abraham that Sarah said: “And I am old” (Genesis 18:13). God adjusted Sarah’s words in order to spare Abraham hurt feelings that might lead Abraham and Sarah to quarrel.
יֵשׁ דְּבָרִים אֲחֵרִים שֶׁהֵם דִּבְרֵי שֶׁקֶר לְהִתְפָּאֵר אָדָם אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּמַעֲלוֹת שֶׁאֵינָם נִמְצָאוֹת בּוֹ. וְעַל זֶה אָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה: ''לֹא־נָאוָה לְנָבָל יָתֶר אַף כִּי־לְנָדִיב שְׂפַת־שָׁקֶר'' (משלי יז, ז). וְיֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁמַּתְעֶה לַחֲבֵרוֹ לוֹמַר, שֶׁדִּבֵּר עָלָיו טוֹב אוֹ עָשָׂה לוֹ טוֹב וְלֹא עָשָׂה. וּבָזֶה אָמְרוּ ז''ל: אָסוּר לִגְנֹב דַּעַת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וַאֲפִילוּ דַעַת הַגּוֹי. וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁמַּבְטִיחַ לַחֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁיֵּיטִיב עִמּוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם. וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר: ''נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע'' וגו' (תהלים לד, יד). וְגַם מְצַעֵר לְאוֹתוֹ שֶׁמִּתְהַלֵּל שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה לוֹ טוֹב וְאֵינוֹ עוֹשֵׂהוּ. וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר: '' נְשִׂיאִים וְרוּחַ וְגֶשֶׁם אָיִן אִישׁ מִתְהַלֵּל בְּמַתַּת־שָׁקֶר'' (משלי כה, יד). וְעַל זֶה הִזְהִירָה תוֹרָה וּדְרָשׁוּהוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ מִפָּסוּק ''וְהִין צֶדֶק'' (ויקרא יט, לו), כִּדְגַרְסִינָן בְּמַסֶּכֶת מְצִיעָא, פֶּרֶק הַזָּהָב (מט, א): רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בְּרַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: מַה תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר ''וְהִין צֶדֶק יִהְיֶה לָכֶם''? וַהֲלֹא הִין בִּכְלָל אֵיפָה הוּא? אֶלָּא, שֶׁיְּהֵא הֵן שֶׁלְּךָ צֶדֶק וְלָאו שֶׁלְּךָ צֶדֶק. וְאַבַּיֵי אָמַר: הַהוּא, שֶׁלֹּא יְדַבֵּר אֶחָד בַּפֶה וְאֶחָד בַּלֵּב.
Menorat HaMa'or 2:2
Isaac Aboab (Spain, 14th century)
There are other matters which fall under the heading of falsehood; for example, when a man praises himself for having virtues he does not really possess. Regarding this Solomon said: "Lofty words are not fitting for a villain; much less lying words for a great man" (Prov. 17:7). It sometimes happens that a man may persuade his friend into believing that he has spoken well of him or done him a good turn when, if fact, he has done nothing of the kind. In this connection our Rabbis teach that it is forbidden to mislead others even if they are idolaters. Another example is one who promises to do something for his neighbor and fails to carry out his promise. Regarding this one it is written: "Guard your tongue from evil etc." (Psalms 34:14). And he also makes him suffer, since he will praise him for having done something good which was not done. Regarding this it is said: "Like clouds, wind—but no rain— is one who boasts of gifts not given." (Prov. 25:14). The Torah has warned against this behavior, and our sages explain through the verse: "an honest hin" (Lev. 19:36). As it is taught in [Baba] Metzia, Chapter 'the gold' (49a): " Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Yehuda, says: What is the meaning when the verse states: “A just ephah, and a just hin, shall you have” (Leviticus 19:36)? But wasn’t a hin included in an ephah? Rather, this is to say to you that your yes [hen] should be just, and your no should be just. Abaye says: That verse means that one should not say one matter with his mouth and think one other matter in his heart.
There is a longstanding Jewish tradition that one should not weigh mitzvot (commandments). Since they have their origin in God it is vain for us to determine which is more important. Still, the temptation to do so is irresistible. How can we not understand that murder is more severe than, say, neglecting to pray? So how does the well known practice of eating in a prescribed manner, keeping kosher, measure up to being honest in financial dealing?
Yet it might surprise many Jews to know that, as the Israeli banker and scholar Meir Tamari points out, the Torah has 24 regulations about keeping kosher and over 100 about economic justice. What you put in your mouth says less about your faithfulness than what you take out of your pocket - even more, someone else's pocket.
[Rabbi David Wolpe, in: https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2008/12/judaism-and-financial-honesty/9218/]
~ So in interpersonal matters, ones that will make for making others feel small or underappreciated, that will not lead to peace, one can lie a white lie. But regarding monetary infractions, as well as judgments of what is truthful, lying is strictly forbidden. Saying "like it is" has a place, and it is not all places. It has a time, but it is not all times. May we all have the certainty of speaking in ways that bring peace and truth, and may we know how to balance our week with those two values. Shabbat Shalom.