Jonathan Larson (USA, 1960-1996): No Day But Today, RENT
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
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Initial Questions 1. What do you most regret in your life? 2. How does regret color your memories? 3. How is regret like mourning? |
(9) They arrived at the place of which God had told him. Abraham built an altar there; he laid out the wood; he bound his son Isaac; he laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. (10) And Abraham picked up the knife to slay his son. (11) Then an angel of the Eternal called to him from heaven: “Abraham! Abraham!” And he answered, “Here I am.” (12) And [the angel] said, “Do not raise your hand against the boy, or do anything to him. For now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your favored one, from Me.”
(1) Sarah’s lifetime—the span of Sarah’s life—came to one hundred and twenty-seven years. (2) Sarah died in Kiriath-arba—now Hebron—in the land of Canaan; and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to bewail her.
(ח) וכשבא אברהם מהר המוריה, חרה אפו של סמא״ל, שראה שלא עלתה בידו תאות לבו לבטל קרבנו של אברהם, מה עשה, הלך ואמ׳ לשרה, אי שרה, לא שמעת מה שנעשה בעולם, אמרה לו לאו, אמ׳ לה לקח אישך הזקן לנער יצחק והקריבו לעולה, והנער בוכה ומייליל שלא יכול להנצל, מיד התחילה בוכה ומייללת, בכתה שלש בכיות כנגד שלש תקיעות, שלש יללות כנגד שלש יבבות, ופרחה נשמתה ומתה.
(ט) בא אברהם אבינו ומצאה שמתה, שנאמר ויבא אברהם לספוד לשרה ולבכותה. מהיכן בא, מהר המוריה.
(8) When Abraham returned from Mount Moriah in peace, the anger of HaSatan was kindled, for he saw that the desire of his heart to frustrate the offering of our father Abraham had not been realized. What did he do? He went and said to Sarah: Have you not heard what has happened in the world? She said to him: No. He said to her: Your husband, Abraham, has taken your son Isaac and slain him and offered him up as a burnt offering upon the altar. She began to weep and to cry aloud three times, corresponding to the three sustained notes [of the Shofar],... and her soul fled, and she died. (9) Abraham came and found that she was dead. Whence did he come? From Mount Moriah, as it is said, "And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah" (Gen. 23:2).
(1) The king [David] was shaken. He went up to the upper chamber of the gateway and wept, moaning these words as he went, “My son Absalom! O my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son!”
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Discussion Questions
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Brene Brown (USA, 1965- )
I’ve found regret to be one of the most powerful emotional reminders that change and growth are necessary. In fact, I’ve come to believe that regret is a kind of package deal: A function of empathy, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom.
Like all emotions, regret can be used constructively or destructively, but the wholesale dismissal of regret is wrongheaded and dangerous. “No regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection.
To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life. I’m not suggesting that we have to live with regret, but I do think it’s important to allow ourselves to experience and feel it.
Rabbi Bahya ibn Pakuda (Spain, circa 1020)
Regret is a sign that the sin is disgraceful in [the sinner's] eyes, as written: "He who knows will return and regret and leave a blessing behind him" (Joel 2:14). It is said of one who persists in one's sins for a long time: "no man repented himself of his wickedness" (Jeremiah 8:6).
We ourselves can see in relationships between human beings, that when one who wronged his fellow shows regret for having wronged him, this will be the strongest factor for his fellow's granting him forgiveness.
Bronnie Ware, author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Australia, 1960- )
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik (Belarus/USA, 1903-1993) - Mishkan HaNefesh
Sin is not to be forgotten, blotted out or cast into the depths of the sea. On the contrary, sin has to be remembered. It is the memory of sin that releases the power within the inner depths of the soul of the penitent to do greater things than ever before.
Rabbi Harold Schulweis (USA, 1925-2014)
It’s never too late
to change my mind
my direction
to say “no” to the past
and “yes” to the future
to offer remorse for regrets
to ask and give forgiveness
It is never too late…
to feel again
to love again
to hope again.
Henry David Thoreau (USA, 1817-1862)
Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret is to live afresh.
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Conclusion Revisit the regret you expressed earlier. What did it teach you? How did it change your life or make you act differently? Can you give yourself the gift of forgiveness by viewing your regret as your teacher? Don't forget regret - use it! |