Death and Mourning

Choose one of the following and read through the steps in the mourning process. What stands out to you? What do you notice?
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/timeline-of-jewish-mourning/
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/death-and-mourning-in-judaism
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/291135/jewish/Shiva-and-Other-Mourning-Observances.htm

ברכות י״ז ב:י״ב

מַתְנִי' מִי שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו פָּטוּר מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה וּמִן הַתְּפִילִּין וּמִכָּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה

Berakhot 17b:12

MISHNA: One whose deceased is laid out before them is exempt from the recitation of Shema, from the Amida prayer, and from the mitzva of tefillin, as well as all positive mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

ברכות י״ז ב:ט״ו

הָעוֹמְדִים בְּשׁוּרָה הַפְּנִימִיִּים פְּטוּרִים וְהַחִיצוֹנִים חַיָּיבִים

Berakhot 17b:15

And those standing in the row are exempt from reciting Shema, while those in the exterior row, are obligated to recite Shema.

משנה אבות ד׳:י״ח

רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר, אַל תְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ בִשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ, וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו, וְאַל תִּשְׁאַל לוֹ בִשְׁעַת נִדְרוֹ, וְאַל תִּשְׁתַּדֵּל לִרְאוֹתוֹ בִשְׁעַת קַלְקָלָתוֹ:

Pirkei Avot 4:18

Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar said: Do not try to appease your friend during their hour of anger; Nor comfort them at the hour while their dead still lies before them; Nor question them at the hour of their vow; Nor strive to see them in the hour of their disgrace.

יורה דעה שע״ו:א׳

(א) אֵין הַמְנַחֲמִים רַשָּׁאִים לִפְתֹּחַ, עַד שֶׁיִּפְתַּח הָאָבֵל תְּחִלָה.

Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 376:1

The comforters are not permitted to begin a conversation [with mourners], until the mourners begins one first.

משנה מועד קטן ג׳:ה׳

הַקּוֹבֵר אֶת מֵתוֹ שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים קֹדֶם לָרֶגֶל, בָּטְלָה הֵימֶנּוּ גְּזֵרַת שִׁבְעָה. שְׁמֹנָה, בָּטְלָה הֵימֶנּוּ גְּזֵרַת שְׁלֹשִׁים, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמְרוּ, שַׁבָּת עוֹלָה וְאֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת, רְגָלִים מַפְסִיקִין וְאֵינָן עוֹלִין:

Mishnah Moed Katan 3:5

One who buried his dead [relative] three days before the festival, the decree of seven [days of mourning] is canceled for them; eight days [before the festival], the decree of thirty [days of mourning] is canceled for them, because they said, "The Shabbat counts [as a day of mourning], but does not supersede [and] the festivals supersede, but do not count.

“Holding the space is crucial, and exactly what we are missing. To hold the space is to create a ring of safety around the family and friends of the dead, providing a place where they can grieve openly and honestly, without fear of being judged.”
― Caitlin Doughty, From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death

קדיש יתום
אבל: יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. [קהל: אמן]
בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
קהל ואבל: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:
אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. [קהל: בריך הוא:]
לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא בעשי”ת: לְעֵלָּא לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל:אמן]
עושה שָׁלום בעשי”ת: הַשָּׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]

The Mourner's Kaddish

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world
which God has created according to God's will.

May God establish God's kingdom in your lifetime and during your days,
and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon;
and say, Amen.

May God's great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored,
adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be God,
beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that
are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

May the who creates peace in the celestial heights,

create peace for us and for all Israel;
and say, Amen.

Every Jewish mourner follows the path of all the Jewish mourners who proceeded [them]. When you rise to say Kaddish, you are shoulder-to-shoulder with everyone who stands or ever stood as you do, recalling a beloved face that is gone but not forgotten. The traditional prayer of condolence acknowledges this larger Jewish community: "May the Holy One comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." [המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים]
This is a gathering that transcends time and place. Truly you are not alone.
-Anita Diamant, Saying Kaddish