(א) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר ה' אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֱמֹ֥ר אֶל־הַכֹּהֲנִ֖ים בְּנֵ֣י אַהֲרֹ֑ן וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֲלֵהֶ֔ם לְנֶ֥פֶשׁ לֹֽא־יִטַּמָּ֖א בְּעַמָּֽיו׃ (ב) כִּ֚י אִם־לִשְׁאֵר֔וֹ הַקָּרֹ֖ב אֵלָ֑יו לְאִמּ֣וֹ וּלְאָבִ֔יו וְלִבְנ֥וֹ וּלְבִתּ֖וֹ וּלְאָחִֽיו׃ (ג) וְלַאֲחֹת֤וֹ הַבְּתוּלָה֙ הַקְּרוֹבָ֣ה אֵלָ֔יו אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־הָיְתָ֖ה לְאִ֑ישׁ לָ֖הּ יִטַּמָּֽא׃ (ד) לֹ֥א יִטַּמָּ֖א בַּ֣עַל בְּעַמָּ֑יו לְהֵ֖חַלּֽוֹ׃
~ What is the list of people the Kohen is obligated to mourn? Why does he have to be obligated?
~ What in this list bothers you? Why?
~ How does the Shulchan Aruch expand the list given in the Torah?
~ Why do you think this is so?
(ג) מת שאין לו אבלים להתנחם באים עשרה בני אדם כשרים ויושבים במקומו כל ז' ימי האבלות ושאר העם מתקבצים עליהם ואם לא היו שם עשרה קבועים בכל יום ויום מתקבצים עשרה משאר העם ויושבים במקומו: הגה ולא ראיתי נוהגין כן וכתוב במהרי"ל נוהגים להתפלל בעשרה כל ז' במקום שנפטר שם האדם והיינו על אדם שלא הניח קרובים ידועים להתאבל עליו אבל יש לו בשום מקום שמתאבלים עליו אין צריך (וכזה ראוי לנהוג):
(ד) עכשיו נוהגים שאחר שנגמר סתימת הקבר מעפר (או לאחר שהפך האבל פניו מן המת) חולצין מנעל וסנדל ומרחיקין מעט מבית הקברות ואומרים קדיש דהוא עתיד לחדתא עלמא ואחר כך תולשין עפר ותולשין עשבים ומשליכים אחר גוום ורוחצין ידיהם במים: הגה י"א שיושבים ז"פ מפני שהרוחות מלוות אותו וכל זמן שיושבין בורחין ממנו (מהרי"ל בתשובה כ"ג בשם י"א) ובמדינות אלו לא נהגו לישב רק ג"פ אחר שרחצו הידים ואומרים כל פעם ויהי נועם וגו' יושב בסתר וגו' וכשנקבר המת ביום טוב יכולין לישב כך ג"פ כמו בחול (מ"כ בהגהות מנהגים) וה"ה אם נקבר סמוך לשבת עושין כן בשבת ונהגו להקפיד אם יכנס אדם לבית אחר קודם שירחץ וישב ג"פ ומנהג אבותינו תורה (שם במהרי"ל) ונמצא במדרשות לומר קדיש על אב (כל בו וריב"ש בשם תנחומא וספרי ובחיי בשם מסכת כלה וב"י בשם הזוהר ובא"ז בשם תנא דבי אליהו רבא) ע"כ נהגו לומר על אב ואם קדיש בתרא י"ב חדש וכן נהגו להפטיר בנביא ולהתפלל ערבית במוצאי שבתות שהוא הזמן שחוזרין הנשמות לגיהנם וכשהבן מתפלל ומקדש ברבים פודה אביו ואמו מן הגיהנם (כל בו בשם הגהות) ונהגו לומר קדיש על האם אע"פ שהאב חי עדיין אינו בידו למחות לבנו שלא יאמר קדיש על אמו (סברת הב"י ע"פ המנהג) מצוה להתענות ביום שמת אב או אם (ריב"ש וכל בו) . ג' אחין ואיש נכרי הג' אחין נוטלין ג' קדישין והאחר נוטל קדיש אחד ונהגו שאם מגיע לאדם יום שמת בו אביו ואמו שאומרים עליהם קדיש יתום לעולם ומי שיודע להתפלל כל התפלה מתפלל ואם יש אבלים אחרים נהגו שתוך שבעה לאבלם הם קודמים ואין לו קדיש כלל תוך ל' יש לו קדיש א' לאחר ל' כל הקדישין של אותו היום הם שלו ומונין שבעה ול' מיום הקבורה אע"פ שלא שמע האבל מיד (במהרי"ל) ואם נכרי הוא כא' מבני העיר לענין קדיש זו הולכים אחר המנהג (אגור בשם מהרי"ל) ואין מקום לקדיש זו אלא על אב ואם בלבד אבל לא בשאר קרובים (ב"ז) ואם אין בב"ה אבל על אביו ואמו אומר אותו קדיש מי שאין לו אב ואם בעד כל מתי ישראל (שם) ויש מקומות שנהגו ששאר קרובים אומרים קדיש על קרוביהם כשאין אבלים על אביהם ואמם ויש מקומות שאפילו יש אבלים על אביהם ואמם אומרים שאר קרובים אלא שעושים פשרה ביניהם שאין אומרים כל כך קדישים כמו האבלים על אב ואם (מהרי"ק שורש מ"ד) והולכים בכל זה אחר המנהג ובלבד שיהא מנהג קבוע בעיר והאבלים אומרים קדיש אפילו בשבת ויו"ט (ב"ז בשם ר"י מקורביי"ל) אבל לא נהגו להתפלל בשבת ויו"ט (כן הוא בתשובת מהרי"ל) אע"פ שאין איסור בדבר אבל בימות החול מי שיודע להתפלל יתפלל ויותר מועיל מקדיש יתום שלא נתקן אלא לקטנים ומי שאינו יודע להתפלל כל התפלה יתפלל למנצח ובא לציון וכו' (ב"ז) ונהגו שאין אומרים קדיש ותפלה רק י"א חדשים כדי שלא יעשו אביהם ואמם רשעים כי משפט רשע י"ב חדש ואם היו אבלים כאן ובאו אח"כ אבלים אחרים השניים יש להם הקדישים והתפלות כל ל' יום מיום הקבורה אע"פ שלא שמעו. י"א דמומר שנהרג ביד עובדי כוכבים בניו אומרים עליו קדיש (הרד"כ בית י"א ובב"ז) (וע"ל סימן ש"מ):
(3) A corpse who leaves11Lit. ‘has.’ no mourners to be comforted,— [the law is that] ten worthy people come and sit in his place12Where the person died. This is done every day. It is, however, not necessary that they remain there throughout the day. throughout the seven days of mourning and the rest of the people assemble unto them. If ten permanent people were not present there daily, ten of the rest of the people assemble and sit in his place.13Shab. 152a. Cf. Yad, Ebel XIII, 4. This affords pleasure to the soul of the departed, as it is related (ibid.) about a certain individual who died in the neighbourhood of R. Judah, and since there were no survivors, he assembled ten men daily in the place where the person died. After the seven days, the dead person appeared to R. Judah in a dream and said to him, ‘Let your mind be at ease, for you have set my mind at ease.’ Gloss: However, I have not seen this custom in practice. In the [writings] of Maharil it is stated that it is customary to recite the Tefillah32 Glos. in [the presence of] ten throughout the seven [days of mourning] at the place where the person died,14 O.Ḥ. § 134, 4 where it is stated that the Taḥanun prayer is not recited in the house of a mourner for the entire seven days (v. supra n. 10). Nor is the Hallel said in a mourner’s house on Rosh Ḥodesh, for it contains the verse, ‘the dead praise not the Lord’ and this would be regarded as mocking the poor (-dead) — TaZ. It is customary, however, that Hallel is said in a house of mourning, only that the mourners leave the room when the Hallel is recited. There is a further reason why the Hallel is omitted by mourners. For it contains verses such as, ‘This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will be glad and rejoice thereon,’ which is not in keeping with mourning rites. A mourner may recite the Habdalah prayer during the mourning period, but should omit the introductory verses which express joy. Only the benediction of this prayer should be recited by him. If the seventh day of mourning coincides with Rosh Ḥodesh, the mourner should recite the Hallel after the morning services are over, for then he is no longer a mourner — P.Tesh. Cf. supra par. 2 and notes. For a complete list of the prayers that are omitted in a mourner’s house, v, Kol Bo(G) I, pp. 277-28 i.e., for a person who left no known [near-of-kin] to observe mourning rites for him;15 infra § 384, 3 Gloss. but if he has [near-of-kin] somewhere who observe mourning rites for him, one is not required [to do this]. And this is the practice which is proper to adopt.
(4) Nowadays it is customary that after the closing of the grave with earth has been completed, — or after the mourner turned his face from the corpse,16 supra § 375, 2. — they [the mourners] remove [their] shoes and sandals,17 infra § 382 Gloss end. and keep away a short [distance] from the burial grounds18At least four cubits, for the law is that a corpse takes possession of this distance. Cf. supra § 367, 6. If the interment takes place at night, Ẓidduk ha-Din and Kaddish are not recited at the cemetery. infra § 401, 6 Gloss. and [then] say Kaddish,32 Glos. [viz., 'May His great Name be magnified and sanctified in] the world that He will create anew etc.,'19Tur on the authority of T.H. after which they detach earth20And one says, ‘He remembereth that we are dust’ (Ps. CIII, 14). and pluck grass21An allusion to the resurrection of the dead. One says, ‘And they of the city shall flourish like the grass of the earth’ (Is. XXVI, 19). Kol Bo writes that the grass is plucked together with the earth and thrown above the head, alluding to ‘and threw dust upon their heads toward heaven’ (Job. II, 12). Cf. Y. Sota II, 2(18a); Num. R. IX, 20, where the explanation is advanced why in the case of a woman suspected of faithlessness (סוטה) the Torah (Num. V, 12-31) required water, earth and writing in order to test her. ‘Water’ indicates whence a person comes; ‘earth,’ — whither one goes; ‘writing,’ — before whom one is destined to give an account (v. Aboth III, 1). The same symbolism may be seen here. An additional reason is that it alludes to purification from uncleanness through water, ashes and the hyssop (Num. XIX) — T.H. Grass may be plucked even on Ḥol ha-Moed (the weekday of the Festival). [out of the ground] and cast it behind their back and wash their hands with water.22This has reference only to one who accompanied the corpse to the cemetery and returned after burial, but not to one who merely escorts the bier and returns before burial — A.H. When washing the hands one should say, ‘our hands have not shed this blood, neither have our eyes seen it … Forgive, O Lord, Thy people Israel … So shalt thou put away the innocent blood from the midst of thee’ (Deut. XXI, 7-9) — Tur. The custom to place a glass or vessel containing water in a house of mourning should be abolished, for this is considered a heathen practice. However, a candle or lamp should be lit, for ‘the soul of man is the lamp of the Lord’ (Prov. XX, 27) — A.H. The candle should be lit for the entire seven days of mourning, even when the person died during the Festival in which case mourning rites begin after the Festival, — yet the candle or lamp should be lit forthwith — Naḥlath Shibah. Gloss: Some say that [after burial] they sit down seven times23 supra § 366, n. 1. because the [evil] spirits follow him,24The corpse. and so long as they sit down, they25The evil spirits. flee from him;26MaHaRIL Resp. 23 on the authority of ‘some say’ — G. and in these countries the custom prevails to sit down only three times after they have washed their hands, and each time [they sit down] they say, 'And let the graciousness of the Lord our God be upon us etc.'27Ps. XC, 17. 'O thou that dwellest in the covert of the most High etc..'28Ibid. XCI, and should be recited seven times as follows: a) until the word כי incl. b) until מלאכיו incl. c) until יצוה incl. d) until לך incl. e) until לשמרך incl. f) until בכל incl. g) until דרכיך incl. — TaZ, ShaK. When the corpse is buried on a Festival, one may six thus three times as on a weekday.29I found this stated in Hag. Minhagim — G. Likewise, if one was buried close to [the advent of] the Sabbath, this is done [even] on the Sabbath. It is the adopted practice to be particular with one lest he enter another house before he washes [his hands]30One should not take the burial implements, e.g., the spade or shovel directly from another person’s hands. The same applies to the vessel of water used for washing one’s hands. Those who did not visit the burial grounds for thirty days, say, ‘Blessed be the Lord … who formed you in judgment.’ Siddur. and sits down three times, and the custom of our ancestors is [considered binding] law.31MaHaRIL ibid. — G. For the expression ‘the custom of our ancestors is law,’ v. Men. 20b, Tosaf. s.v. נפסל. In the Midrashim32 Glos. it is found that one should recite Keddish32 Glos. for a father.33Kol Bo; RIBaSh on the authority of Tanḥ. (Noaḥ II (Bub.); Sifre; Baḥya (comment. to Shofetim end) on the authority of Mas. Kal. (ed. Coronel pp. 4b, 19b); B.Yos. on the authority of Zohar (Ruth) ; Or Zaru‘a (ed. Jitomir II, 11) on the authority of Tanna debe Eliyahu Rabba — G. Cf. also the following sources: Otiyyoth de R. Akiba s.v. zayin; Tanna debe Eliyahu Zuta XII, XVII; Menorath ha-Maor I, 1, Pt. II, § 1; Menashe b. Israel, Nishmath Ḥayyim II, 27; Test of Abraham a, XIV; San. 104a; Gen. R. § 63; Sefer Ḥasidim (ed. Wiztinetzki) n. 32; J.E. Vol. VII, p. 401-2. All the above references stress the redeeming powers of the Kaddish recited by a son for his father. If one is survived only by daughters, the latter are not permitted to recite the Kaddish in the Synagogue, but they should respond by saying ‘Amen’ when the Kaddish is said in the Synagogue — P.Tesh. Cf. Kol Bo(G) p. 375, n. 33. Therefore, it is the adopted practice to recite the last Kaddish [concluding the services]34The Kaddish recited after עלינו. twelve months for a father and mother.35Thereby the souls of one’s parents are redeemed from the torture of the Gehenna. Cf. ‘Ed. II, 10; R.H. 17a. Likewise, is it common usage [for a mourner] to recite the Haftarah32 Glos. in the Prophets and to lead the services at the evening prayers at the conclusion of the Sabbath, which is the time when the souls [of the departed] return to Gehenna; and when the [mourning] son leads the Services and sanctifies [the name of God] in public, he [thereby] redeems his father and mother from Gehenna.36Kol Bo on the authority of Hag. — G. It is the adopted usage to recite Kaddish for one's mother although the father is still living,37If both are living one should not say the mourner’s Kaddish. One may however, say the Kaddish de Rabbanan (scholars’ Kaddish) — P.Tesh. [and the latter] has no right to prevent his son from reciting Kaddish for his mother.38Thus the opinion of B.Yos. in accordance with the accepted custom — G. It is a religious duty to fast on the day that one's father and mother died.39RIBaSh and Kol Bo — G. Cf. Sheb. 20a and infra § 378, If one finds it difficult to fast, he should contribute money to the poor. Throughout the twelve month period of mourning one should study Mishna (including the Yahrzeit day), for Mishna (משנה) is comprised of the same letters as נשמה (-soul). This has a redeeming influence. [In the case of] three brothers and a stranger40e., one who is not their brother although he is a resident in the community — ShaK. [with respect to the rules of precedence concerning the recital of Kaddish, — the law is that] the three brothers get [priority to recite] three Kaddishim,32 Glos. and the other41The stranger. gets [priority to recite] one Kaddish.42For we guide ourselves with respect to the rules of precedence in accordance with the living and not the dead. Mourners should recite the Kaddish in unison — P.Tesh. It is customary that when the day on which one's father or mother died, arrives, one always recites the mourner's43Lit. ‘orphan’s.’ Kaddish for them. One who knows how to lead the entire Service should do so. However, if there are other mourners [present], it is customary that within the seven days of their mourning [period], they take precedence and he44The one observing the Yahrzeit. has no [priority] rights [regarding] the Kaddish at all; if within [their] thirty [days of mourning], he has [priority rights to recite] one Kaddish;45Some, however, hold that a Yahrzeit takes precedence over one who is within the thirty days of the observance of mourning rites. TaZ. [if] after [their] thirty [days of mourning], — all the Kaddishim of that day belong to him.46The following is a summary of the laws of precedence with respect to the recital of Kaddish based upon ShaK, TaZ and the Later Authorities: a) A resident takes precedence over a stranger; b) It is only the first time a stranger comes to the services that he has a right to lead the service and has priority rights to recite one Kaddish where the resident has similar rights; c) Some adopt the practice that a stranger is on an equal footing with a resident with respect to Kaddish, as long as he is a permanent resident in the city, even if he does not pay taxes; d) One who is within the seven days of his mourning period, whether a resident or a stranger, whether of minority or majority age, takes precedence over the other mourners with respect to all the Kaddishim recited, and even if a Festival arrived at which time the seven or thirty days of mourning become annulled (v. infra § 399), it does not apply to the recital of Kaddish. Furthermore, with respect to Kaddish we do not apply the principle ‘that part of the day is considered as the whole day.’ This means that one is regarded to be within his seven or thirty days with respect to the recital of Kaddish until seven or thirty complete days have passed. As to the observance of mourning rites, the above principle applies (v. infra § 395) ; e) One who is within his thirty days of mourning and one observing Yahrzeit each have a right to recite one Kaddish; f) One who is within his thirty days of mourning takes precedence over one observing Yahrzeit, although the latter has a right to recite one Kaddish (v. however, supra n. 45) ; g) If there are many observing Yahrzeit, the one who is within his thirty days is overridden; h) If there are many observing Yahrzeit and one who is within his seven days of mourning, the latter has a right to one Kaddish and the others cast lots; i) If there are many who are within their thirty days of mourning, one observing Yahrzeit and one within his twelve month period of mourning, the latter is overridden entirely, and all the Kaddishim of that day belong to the one observing Yahrzeit; j) The Kaddish recited after the daily Psalm (שיר של יום) and after the Sabbath Psalm (מזמור שיר ליום השבת) belong to the mourners. In general, the laws of precedence have no fundamental basis in Jewish Law, and nowadays all recite the Kaddish — A.H. The seven and thirty [days of mourning] are counted from the day of burial, even if [the mourner] had not heard [the death report] forthwith.47MaHaRIL — G. Whether a stranger is regarded as one of the townspeople with respect to this Kaddish, we follow the accepted practice.48Agur on the authority of MaHaRIL — G. This [above-mentioned] Kaddish applies49Lit. ‘there is no place … but.’ only [where it is recited] for a father and mother alone, but not [in the case of] other near-of-kin.50Benjamin Ze’eb — G. If there is no one present in the Synagogue who is in mourning for one's father or mother, that Kaddish51e., the mourner’s Kaddish. may be recited by one who has no father and mother on behalf of all the dead of Israel.52Ibid. — G. There are localities where it is customary that other [surviving] near-of-kin recite Kaddish for their relations where [the latter leave] no parental mourners; and there are localities where even if there are parental mourners, the other [surviving] near-of-kin [may also] recite [the Kaddish], only that they [the latter] make a mutual agreement not to recite as many Kaddishim as would the mourners for a father and mother [proper].53MaHaRIK, Rt. 44 — G. In this entire [matter] we follow the accepted custom, provided the custom is fixed in the [particular] city. The mourners recite Kaddish even on the Sabbath and Festivals,54Benjamin Ze’eb on the authority of RI of Corbeil — G. One who suffered a bereavement on the Sabbath or Festival at which time it was impossible to bury the corpse, may recite the Kaddish on the Sabbath or the Festival, even before the corpse is interred. This ruling, however, does not apply to a weekday, for then he is an Onen and is exempt from Tefillah etc. (v. supra § 341) — TaZ. however, ShaK in Nek. ha-Kesef and also Ḥid. ha-Gershuni who oppose TaZ. but it is not customary for them to lead the services on the Sabbath and Festivals,55Thus in MaHaRIL Resp. — G. This applies likewise to a day on which Hallel is recited, unless there is no one available to lead the services or if one is a permanent Congregational reader of prayers. On Rosh Ḥodesh and Ḥol ha-Moed in the evening, the mourner may lead the services, but not at the morning service — A.H. although there exists no prohibition against [this] matter. However, during the weekdays, whoever knows how to lead the Services, should do so, and [this] is [even] more efficacious than [reciting] the mourner's43Lit. ‘orphan’s.’ Kaddish, which was instituted [originally] only for minors.56The fundamental Kaddishim are those recited during the services. Those recited at the conclusion of the service, e.g., the Kaddish said after עלינו or the daily Psalm שיר של יום were instituted only for minors. Hence, it is most important for one to lead the services and be afforded the opportunity to recite the Kaddishim during the service. Many people err in this and are under the impression that the Kaddish recited at the conclusion of the services is fundamental — A.H. And one who knows not how to lead the entire Service, should lead the Service [at least] from [the section beginning with] 'For the chief musician etc.,'57Ps. 'And a redeemer shall come to Zion etc.'58ובא לציון. This Kaddish is more efficacious than the one concluding the service. Benjamin Ze’eb — G. Should the mourner happen to lead the services in another Synagogue where the version (נוסח) of the service ritual differs from that of his own Svnagogue (e.g., if his custom is to pray in the Ashkenazic version and he comes to a Sephardic Synagogue or vice versa), — he is permitted to change to the service ritual of the Synagogue he happens to be in — Kol Bo(G). It is the adopted custom to recite Kaddish and lead the Services only for eleven months59Less one day, even if it is a leap year. All the Kaddishim of that day belong to him. However, one observing Yahrzeit on that day has a right to one Kaddish. so that [children] should not consider their father and mother wicked, for the judgment of a wicked person [in Gehenna lasts] twelve months.60One whose father was a wicked person should recite Kaddish for twelve months. If there were mourners present here,61e., at the Synagogue services. and later other mourners came, — the latter have [priority with respect to] the Kaddish and [leading] the Services throughout the thirty days [of their mourning] from the day of burial, although [the latter] did not hear [the death report until later].62e., they were not present at the death or burial. Some say that [in the case of] an apostate Jew who was murdered by heathens, [the law is that] his children recite Kaddish for him.63RaDaK and Benjamin Ze’eb and cf supra § 340, 5 — G. The reason is that having been murdered his sins are forgiven.
~ The underlined parts of this very long Rama are the most important for our study.
~ What are the surprising things about the Kaddish that you've learned?
~ How does what the Rama writes reverberate with the practices of your own community?
NYTimes · Oct. 5, 2003
Rabbi Ephraim Oshry, whose interpretations of religious law helped sustain Lithuanian Jews during Nazi occupation and were buried in tin cans for retrieval and publication after the Holocaust, died on Sept. 28 at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan. He was 89.
Rabbi Oshry was a young rabbinical scholar in Kaunas, the second-largest city in Lithuania, when the Nazis invaded on June 23, 1941.
After the city's Jews were herded into the ghetto, the Nazis made him custodian of the warehouse where Jewish books were stored for a planned exhibit of ''artifacts of the extinct Jewish race.'' Rabbi Oshry used them to make interpretations of religious law, traditionally called responsa, to help people continue to live as Jews in seemingly impossible circumstances.
Link to know more:
https://jewishweek.timesofisrael.com/keeper-of-the-flame/
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Above: photo in 1994
Reciting Kaddish for a Gentile Woman
Question: During the evil days of affliction when the accursed Germans mercilessly annihilated young and old, toddlers and infants; the Lithuanian gentiles, with whom the Jews had lived for hundreds of years, conspired with the German criminals to kill Jews and loot their property. They searched for Jews wherever they could be hiding, nooks and crannies, tunnels and hideouts and whenever they caught one immediately handed her/him over to their German assassins who proceeded to torture and kill him/her.
Despite the violent hatred that the gentiles had for the Jews, a hatred which the Germans fanned into a flame of vengeance, despite all this Jews did find protection among a very few gentiles in whose hearts humanity was not extinguished and they were anguished by the cruelty committed against Jews and felt a responsibility to do something for the good of the Jews, and to save them from their pursuers. Whatever they did, though, was done at an enormous risk because the Germans immediately shot anyone they suspected of aiding Jews. Nevertheless, such individuals did not withheld [themselves] and did everything they could to save Jews.
And behold, in 1945, shortly after we merited to see the salvation of Hashem, the time when we He pitied His people and broke the evil arm, and took His people Israel from darkness to a great light – Reb Moshe Segal came to me with a question that pervaded all of his soul. He had been saved from certain death thanks to a gentile woman who, putting herself in enormous risk, hid him in her basement together with around ten other Jews. And she provided them with food and water; and she found ways to give sustenance and nourishment until the liberation.
After the war, when these Jews that were saved thanks to this Gentile woman wanted to raise as a banner the enormous kindness that she bestowed upon them, and to repay her as the fruits of her good actions as appropriate to her and as proper, to their deep sorrow it was told to them that this Gentile woman, that left life to all living, and she died right after the liberation. The idea took root in their minds of the ones she rescued that it is necessary to make a monument and a name after her death, having one of the saved say Kaddish for her, and Reb Moshe Segal was appointed for the task. His question is whether it is permissible to say Kaddish for her, and if there is any suspicion of prohibition in this?
Responsum:
Let’s see – regarding whether one is permitted to say Kaddish for an apostate Jewish person the halacha is already settled in the Shulchan Aruch (YD, Siman 376 se’if 4) [Yosef Karo, Israel, 16th century], with the Rama [Moshe Isserles, Poland 16th century] who wrote there at the end of his gloss: “there are those who say that an apostate that was killed by idolaters that his children do say kaddish after him/her.” And see siman 340.
And the Sha”ch [Shabetai ben Me’ir Hakohen, Lithuania 17th century] wrote in the se’if katan 15: “this applies only in the case that the person was killed, but in the case of a natural death, no.” And that’s why I wrote above regarding siman 340: when one is killed there is atonement, until here are his words. And see also the Turei Zahav [David Halevi Segal, Lithuania 16th century] se’if katan 5 that he also wrote that this specifically applies to [a heretic] that was killed because in that case there is atonement through being killed, but if one died of natural causes this is not the case.
And look in the She’elot Uteshuvot of the Ktav Sofer (OH Siman 109) [Avraham Shmuel Binyamin Sofer, 19th century Hungary] where he is surprised with what the Rama wrote, that we do say Kaddish for an apostate that was killed. Nevertheless the Maharsh”a (10, there) [Shmuel Eliezer HaLevi Eidels, Poland 16th century] writes regarding what the Sha”ch said: “note that in the case that the apostate was killed, s/he has mourners to say the Kaddish after him/her, and if the apostate has mourners, they say it even in the case of natural death”. See Maharsh”a part 10, siman 29, up to here are his words. And see above in Y.D. siman 302 se’if 5 what the Rama wrote regarding if one mourns a heretic, and the Sha”ch, se’if katan 9, there, and the Turei Zahav se’if katan 3.
And in the She’elot Uteshuvot Chesed leAvraham [Israel, 19th century] it is taught on mark 10, Siman 84 regarding one who abandoned one’s faith and became rich, and since then s/he has been sustaining the poor in one’s family in secret, and now s/he came to the person who had been distributing tzedakah in one’s place and requested that the distributor promised to say kaddish on one’s behalf, and if the distributor did so the person would squander even more of her/his money to tzedakah. See there that Chesed Avraham permitted the distributor to make such a promise, and brought proof from R. Meir, who saved Acher from the Pit [Gehennah] even though Acher had become a heretic and broken Shabbat, and there is no prohibition regarding this.
And even though all this is regarding a Jewish person who became an apostate, and in our case she is not Jewish, her deeds of tzedakah were greater than the Jew spoken above by the Chesed Avraham who squandered money for tzedakah since she did in fact rescued Jewish souls. However, we still have to decide regarding saying Kaddish for her.
And behold – the core of Kaddish is prayer and request, as brought by the Sefer Yuchasin (Krakow ed., p.23) [Avraham ben Shmuel Zacuto, Spain/Portugal, 15th century] and the Shevet Yehudah (Kenigsberg ed., 94/85) [Shlomo Ibn Verga, Spain, 16th century] that tells that when Rabbi Natan of Babylonia was appointed Exilarch, when the cantor arrived at “bechayechon uveyomechon” [in our lives and in our days] he said [added] “in the lifetime of our Exilarch and in the lifetime of all the Jewish people.” Similarly, in the days of Maimonides z”l, they used to add in the Kaddish, “In your life and in your days and in the life of our master Moshe ben Maimon,” see there. So it is explained that the core of the Kaddish is really prayer and request.
And according to this, it is clear that it is permissible to say Kaddish for this Gentile, who saved several souls of Israel so that they would not die a certain death in the hands of the hateful accursed enemy, may the name be erased, since it is written in the Sefer Hasidim [Yehudah ben Samuel of Regensburg, Germany 12th century] that it is permitted to ask the Holy One of Blessing to uphold the needs of a Gentile who did a goodness for Israel, and there is no greater goodness than what this woman did, preventing souls of Israel to go down to destruction. Therefore it is obvious that it is permissible to say Kaddish for her. And also see the Yerushalmi, Megillah chapter 3 halacha 6: “Said Rabbi Pinchas we need to say ‘Harbona of blessed memory’, just as we say ‘may their memory be for a blessing’ since he did a goodness to Israel, to save them.”
And in masechet Avot, Chapter 3 Mishnah 2: “said rabbi Hanina the understudy of the kohanim: ‘Always pray of the good of the Kingdom, because without it a person would swallow his/her friend alive’.” And see the Me’iri that writes that the Tanna comes to spur us to pray for the peace of all kings, not only Israel’s, but also for the ones among which we live just as the Torah commands to offer 70 bulls on The Festival [Sukkot] corresponding to the 70 nations of the world.
And as I prepared this to be published, I saw in the She’elot Uteshuvot Zekan Aharon [Aaron Walkin, Lithuania, 1865-1942] [the question] if there is an obligation of a convert to say kaddish for his/her Gentile parent. And he advocates that the convert should say Kaddish for the parent, indeed even if to teach this simple thing to those who would be surprised that one is saying kaddish for the soul of a Gentile, etc, also there are other rectifications that should be done, study and leading prayer, etc, and also the rectification brought by the Kaddish, that helps the soul of the parent, and who knows the secrets of God, the soul of the Gentiles might also [need those rectifications]. And in my opinion, it is as above, one [in this case] should say Kaddish and lead prayer sometimes, so that they won’t feel that because of the mourning of one’s Gentile parents they might be laughed by others.
And now, this Gentile woman, whose great lovingkind deeds in behalf of these Jews, saving them from death, so that the accursed enemies would not swallow them alive, obviously it is a mitzvah [commandment] to pray for her after her death, and to say Kaddish for her, since the core of Kaddish is what we said above, a prayer, and therefore I gave permission to R. Moshe Segal to say Kaddish for this woman who saved his soul from death and his life from going to destruction.
And “The One Who Bestows Lovingkindness to His people Israel” [gomel hasadim tovim le’amo Israel] will bestow lovingkindness to the pious ones of the nations of the world [hasidei umot olam]] that endangered their lives saving Israel; the One Who Blesses Israel with peace will bless them also, with all the best, to see the return of Tzion and the building of God’s Choice, and there we will offer in God’s presence wanted sacrifices, 70 bulls corresponding to the 70 nations, speedily in our days, amen.