Part I -- The History of Kaddish
The mourner's kaddish is only one of the varieties of kaddish that are recited in the house of worship. There are the full kaddish, the half kaddish, the rabbis' kaddish. (The mourner's kaddish is a slight abridgement of the full kaddish). They are all variants of the same utterance, of the sort that scholars describe as "doxology," or an expression of praise. But look at the language. The kaddish is not so much the praise of God as a prayer for the praise of God. It is a messianic supplication, except that the eschatological improvement is here imputed not only to the Jews, but also to tht eGod of the Jews. (In the Sephardic right, the messianism of the kaddish is explicit). This is mysterious.
- Wieseltier, "Kaddish" (28)
ואלא עלמא אמאי קא מקיים אקדושה דסידרא ואיהא שמיה רבא דאגדתא שנא' (איוב י, כב) ארץ עפתה כמו אופל צלמות ולא סדרים הא יש סדרים תופיע מאופל
The Gemara poses a question: But if everything is deteriorating, why does the world continue to exist? The Gemara answers: By the sanctification that is said in the order of prayers, after the passage that begins: And a redeemer shall come to Israel, which includes the recitation and translation of the sanctification said by the angels, and by the response: Let His great name be blessed, etc., which is recited after the study of aggada. As it is stated: “A land of thick darkness, as darkness itself; a land of the shadow of death, without any order” (Job 10:22). Therefore, it can be inferred from this verse that if there are orders of prayer and study, the land shall appear from amidst the darkness.
But why does the world continut to exist
orders - order of [study] of Torah portions
אותיות דרבי עקיבא -- עמוד כו-כז
אל תקרי שומר אמונים אלא שהוא אומר אמן שבשביל אמן אחד שעונין רשעים מתוך גיהנם מעלין רשעים מתוך גיהנם. כאיזצד? עתיד הקב"ה שהוא יושב בגן עדן ודורש בה וכל צדיקי עולם יושבין לפניו וכל פמליא של מעלה עומדין על רגליהן מימנו של הקב"ה חמה עם המזלות ולבנה וכל הכוכבים משמאלו. והקב"ה דורש לפניהן טעמי תורה חדשה שעתיד הקב"ה ליתן להן על ידי משיח וכיון שמגיע להגדה עומד זרובבל בן שאלתיאל על רגליו ואומר יתגדל ויתקדש וקולו הולך מסיף העולם עד סופו וכל באי העולם עונין ואומרים אמן, ואף רשעי ישראל וצדיקי אומות העולם שנשתיירו בגיהנם כולן עונין ואומרים אמן מתוך גיהנם שנ' ויבו גוי צדיק שומר אמונים, עד שנתרעש כל העולם כולו, באותה שעה נשמעים קול דבריהם לפני הקב"ה. והוא משעין עליהם ואומר "מה קול רעש קדול ששמעתי?" משיבין מלאכי השרת ואומרין לפניו "רבון של עולמים, אלו רשעי ישראל וצדיקי אומות העולם שנשתיירו בגיהנם שעונין אמן מתוך גיהנם." מיד מתגלגלין רחמיו ביותר ואומר "מה אעשה להן יותר על דין זה כבר יצר הרע גרם להן!" באותה שעה נוטל הקב"ה מפתחות של גיהנם ונותנן לגבריאל ולמיכאל בפני כל הצדיקים כולן ואומר להן לכו ופתחו שערי גיהנם והעלו אותם מתוך גיהנם שנ' "פתחו שערים ויבא גוי צדיק שומר אמונים." מיד הולכים גבריאל ומיכאל ופותחין ארבעים אלפים שערי גיהנם ומעלים אותם מתוך גיהנם.
Do not read shomer emunim, except in the sense that [the verse refers to an individual who] says amen. For it is for the sake of a single amen that the wicked utter in hell that they are raised from hell.
In the future, the Holy One, Blessed Be He will sit in the Garden of Eden, teaching and preaching. All the reightoues of the world will be seated before Him. And all the celestial servants will be standing there, the sun and teh planets to God's right, the moon and the stars to God's left. The Holy One, Blessed Be He, will expound before them the new Torah that He will give them in the future by the hand of the messiah. When He speaks his homiletics, Zerubbabel ben Shealtiel rises and rictes 'Magnified and santified!' [that is, he recites the kaddish]. His voice resounds to all the ends of the earth, and all the creatures of the earth respond: amen! Even in Gehenna, the wickd souls of Israel, and also the rightoeous souls of Israel who still tarry there, they, too, say amen. They say this from the depths of hell -- as it is written, 'Open ye the gates, taht the rigtheous nation which keepth the amens may enter in' -- until the whole world shkakes with the sound.
The Holy One, Blessed Be He, hears their words. He makes an inquiry. 'What is that great noise I hear?' The angels who attend Him reply: 'Lord of the Univrse, those are the wicked of Israel in Gehenna, and the righteous of Isrsel still in Gehenna, saying amen in hell.' Immediately He is overcome with mercy. 'What can I do for them,' He says, 'that will supersede the requirements of justice? After all, their own evil inclinations brought this upon them!' And then, in that very moment, He takes the keys of hell and, in the presence of all the rightous souls that are before Him, presents them to Gabriel and Michael, instructing them: 'Go and oopen the gates of Gehenna, and raise them up from hell For it is written, "Open ye the gates, taht the righteous nation which keepth the amens may enter in." ' Gabriel and Michael depart at once, and the unlock forty thousand gates in Gehenna, and they lift them out of there."
- Wiesieltier, 36-37
ועונין יהא שמיה הגדול מבורך - ואיהא שמיה רבא דבתר אגדתא שהיו רגילין לומר קדיש אחר הדרשה ושם היו עמי הארצות ולא היו מבינים כולם לשון הקודש לכך תקנוהו בלשון תרגום שהיו הכל מבינים שזה היה לשונם :
And they answered "Magnified and Sanctified" -- And you say "Magnified and Sanctified" (i.e. the response of the Kaddish) after the aggadah (the homiletic drash), and the people of the land did not know the holy language and so they instituted this prayer in the language of "translation" so that everyone would be able to understand it.
עכשיו נוהגים שאחר שנגמר סתימת הקבר מעפר...חולצין מנעל וסנדל ומרחיקין מעט מבית הקברות ואומרים קדיש דהוא עתיד לחדתא עלמא ואחר כך תולשין עפר ותולשין עשבים ומשליכים אחר גוום ורוחצין ידיהם במים:
ונמצא במדרשות לומר קדיש על אב (כל בו וריב"ש בשם תנחומא וספרי ובחיי בשם מסכת כלה וב"י בשם הזוהר ובא"ז בשם תנא דבי אליהו רבא) ע"כ נהגו לומר על אב ואם קדיש בתרא י"ב חדש וכן נהגו להפטיר בנביא ולהתפלל ערבית במוצאי שבתות שהוא הזמן שחוזרין הנשמות לגיהנם וכשהבן מתפלל ומקדש ברבים פודה אביו ואמו מן הגיהנם (כל בו בשם הגהות)...
ונהגו שאם מגיע לאדם יום שמת בו אביו ואמו שאומרים עליהם קדיש יתום לעולם ומי שיודע להתפלל כל התפלה מתפלל ואם יש אבלים אחרים נהגו שתוך שבעה לאבלם הם קודמים ואין לו קדיש כלל תוך ל' יש לו קדיש א' לאחר ל' כל הקדישין של אותו היום הם שלו...
בימות החול מי שיודע להתפלל יתפלל ויותר מועיל מקדיש יתום שלא נתקן אלא לקטנים ומי שאינו יודע להתפלל כל התפלה יתפלל למנצח ובא לציון וכו' (ב"ז)
Nowadays it is customary that after the closing of the grave with earth has been completed...they [the mourners] remove [their] shoes and sandals, and recite the Kaddish...
In the Midrashim it is found that one should recite Kaddish for a father. (Kol Bo; RIBaSh on the authority of Tanḥ. (Noaḥ II (Bub.); Sifre; Baḥya (comment. to Shofetim end) on the authority of Mas. Kal. (ed. Coronel pp. 4b, 19b); B.Yos. on the authority of Zohar (Ruth) ; Or Zaru‘a (ed. Jitomir II, 11) on the authority of Tanna debe Eliyahu Rabba — G. Cf. also the following sources: Otiyyoth de R. Akiba s.v. zayin; Tanna debe Eliyahu Zuta XII, XVII; Menorath ha-Maor I, 1, Pt. II, § 1; Menashe b. Israel, Nishmath Ḥayyim II, 27; Test of Abraham a, XIV; San. 104a; Gen. R. § 63; Sefer Ḥasidim (ed. Wiztinetzki) n. 32; J.E. Vol. VII, p. 401-2.) All the above references stress the redeeming powers of the Kaddish recited by a son for his father.
It is customary that when the day on which one's father or mother died, arrives, one always recites the mourner's (literally "orphan's") Kaddish for them. One who knows how to lead the entire Service should do so. However, if there are other mourners [present], it is customary that within the seven days of their mourning [period], they take precedence and he44The one observing the Yahrzeit. has no [priority] rights [regarding] the Kaddish at all; if within [their] thirty [days of mourning], he has [priority rights to recite] one Kaddish; [if] after [their] thirty [days of mourning], — all the Kaddishim of that day belong to him...
During the weekdays, whoever knows how to lead the Services, should do so, and [this] is [even] more efficacious than [reciting] the mourner's (literally: ‘orphan’s) Kaddish, which was instituted [originally] only for minors. And one who knows not how to lead the entire Service, should lead the Service [at least] from [the section beginning with] 'For the chief musician etc.,' 'And a redeemer shall come to Zion etc.'
Earliest Versions of the Text of the Kaddish
סידור רש"י סימן תיט
ואומר אשרי וסדר קדושה וכו' ואומר יתגדל תתקבל וכו' ועונין כל הציבור יחד מזמור לאסף וגו', ועומד הנער לומר קדיש, ומדלג תתקבל ואומר יהא שלמא רבא, וכל זמן שהציבור אומרים פסוקים או משנה צריכין לומר קדיש אחריהם,
Siddur Rashi Number 419
And he says Ashrei and Kedusha (etc) and says the Full Kaddish and everyone recites "Mizmor Le-Asaf" (the 83rd psalm), and a boy rises to say Kaddish skipping the "Titkabel" line, proceeding directly to "Y'hei Shlama Raba (May a great peace from heaven...)," and any time the congregation recites verses or mishna they have to recite the Kaddish afterwards.
רבי יהודה בר יחזקאל אמר אבא מברך על ירידת גשמים יתגדל ויתקדש ויתברך ויתרומם שמך מלכינו על כל טיפה וטיפה שאת מוריד לנו שאת ממניען זו מזו.
Rabi Yehudah bar Yechezkel said: My father blesses on the falling of rain "yitgadal veyitkadash veyitbarach veyitromam shemecha malkeinu on every single drop that You make fall to us, that You keep them apart [prevent them from coming in one big drop]."
Part II -- Can You Say Kaddish Without A Minyan?
אומרים קדיש וא"א אותו בפחות מי' זכרים בני חורין גדולים שהביאו ב' שערות וה"ה לקדושה וברכו שאין נאמרין בפחות מעשרה:
The say Kaddish, and it is not said with less than ten males, who are free and have grown two [pubic] hairs, and this is the rule for Kedushah and Barchu that are not said with less than ten.
Composed in (c.1160 - c.1200 CE). Responsa of Maimonides printed in Leipzig under the title "Kovetz Teshuvot ha-Rambam ve-Iggerotav". Additonal responsa was printed in Amsterdam under the title "Pe'er HaDor."
תשובה יגמרו הקדושה בין קדושת יוצר ובין קדושת תפלה אבל קדיש לא יוכל לומר עד שהיו שם עשרה אבל בפחות מעשרה אינו יכול
Response - You can finish the Kedushah, whether it's Kedushat D'Yotzer or the Kedusha D'T'filah however the Kaddish is not possible to be said without 10 people.
The Shulchan Aruch (literally: "Set Table"), sometimes dubbed in English as the Code of Jewish Law, is the most widely consulted of the various legal codes in Judaism. It was authored in Safed (today in Israel) by Joseph Karo in 1563 and published in Venice two years later. Together with its commentaries, it is the most widely accepted compilation of Jewish law ever written.
Composed in Uzhgorod, Hungary (c.1844 - c.1864 CE). The Kitzur Shulhan Arukh is a summary of the Shulhan Arukh of Joseph Karo with reference to later commentaries, The Kitzur states what is permitted and what is forbidden without ambiguity.
Do we really need to have ten people for the Kaddish?
ראב"ד - תשובות ופסקים סימן קצג
א על מעשה הקדיש לא נמצא בידינו דבר מבורר היטב מן הראשונים, אך סמכוהו האחרונים על הפסוק הזה ונקדשתי בתוך בני ישראלב ועל מה שאמרו רבותינו ז"ל במדרשג כל דבר שבקדושה לא יהא פחות מעשרה, מן הדברים הללו יוצא להן שאם נתקבצו עשרה בני אדם לדבר מצוה בין לתפלה בין לתלמוד תורה צריכין לקדש,
Rabbi Abraham ben Isaac of Narbonne
As for the ritual of the Kaddish about which you asked, we do not possess any clear information about it form our early sages [in the Talmud]. Later sages claimed that it is founded on this verse [in Leviticus]: "I will be sanctified among the children of Israel." And from what our rabbis stated [in the Talmud] about this verse, that the kedushah may not be recited unless ten [men] are present, they concluded that anytime ten people are assembled for the fulfillment of an obligation of prayer or an obligation of study, they must sanctify the occasion [with a kaddish].
Abraham ben Isaac of Narbonne (c. 1080-85 – 1158) was a Provencal rabbi also known as Raavad II, and author of the halachic work Ha-Eshkol (The Cluster).
מתני׳ אין פורסין על שמע ואין עוברין לפני התיבה ואין נושאין את כפיהם ואין קורין בתורה ואין מפטירין בנביא ואין עושין מעמד ומושב ואין אומרים ברכת אבלים ותנחומי אבלים וברכת חתנים ואין מזמנין בשם פחות מעשרה ובקרקעות תשעה וכהן ואדם כיוצא בהן: גמ׳ מה"מ אמר ר' חייא בר אבא א"ר יוחנן דאמר קרא (ויקרא כב, לב) ונקדשתי בתוך בני ישראל כל דבר שבקדושה לא יהא פחות מעשרה...
...ואין אומרים ברכת אבלים וברכת חתנים (וכו'): מאי ברכת אבלים ברכת רחבה דא"ר יצחק א"ר יוחנן ברכת אבלים בעשרה ואין אבלים מן המנין
MISHNA: One does not recite the introductory prayers and blessing [poresin] before Shema; nor does one pass before the ark to repeat the Amida prayer; nor do the priests lift their hands to recite the Priestly Benediction; nor is the Torah read in public; nor does one conclude with a reading from the Prophets [haftara] in the presence of fewer than ten men. And one does not observe the practice of standing up and sitting down for the delivery of eulogies at a funeral service; nor does one recite the mourners’ blessing or comfort mourners in two lines after the funeral; or recite the bridegrooms’ blessing; and one does not invite others to recite Grace after Meals, i.e., conduct a zimmun, with the name of God, with fewer than ten men present. If one consecrated land and now wishes to redeem it, the land must be assessed by nine men and one priest, for a total of ten. And similarly, assessing the value of a person who has pledged his own value to the Temple must be undertaken by ten people, one of whom must be a priest. GEMARA: The Gemara asks: From where are these matters, i.e., that ten people are needed in each of these cases, derived? Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: It is as the verse states: “And I shall be hallowed among the children of Israel” (Leviticus 22:32), which indicates that any expression of sanctity may not be recited in a quorum of fewer than ten men...
...We also learned in the mishna that one does not recite the mourners’ blessing and the bridegrooms’ blessing with fewer than ten men present. The Gemara asks: What is the mourners’ blessing? The blessing recited in the square next to the cemetery. Following the burial, those who participated in the funeral would assemble in the square and bless the mourners that God should comfort them, as Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The mourners’ blessing is recited only with ten men present, and mourners themselves are not included in the count.
The Importance of Kaddish
There is no situation that is likelier to arise than the demand to permit saying kaddish at a distance, for whatever one feels are the demands of one ís personal ritual obligations, the filial obligation to honor the deceased is perceptibly stronger.
- Avraham Reisner, Wired to the Kadosh Barukh Hu: Minyan via Internet (2001), 6.
Kaddish and yizkor may have alternatives that could be adopted with minimal halakhic challenge, but their normal format has profound emotional impact.
- Joshua Heller, Streaming Services on Shabbat and Yom Tov (2020), 3
My father was a troublesome man. Some years ago, I was complaining about him to a friend, and my friend advised me that sooner or later a reversal takes place, that there comes a moment when the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. This was good advice. It helped me to detach myself more effectively; and without such detachment I would have been useless to my father and to my family the hard last years of his life and during the season of his death. I think that kaddish is the perfect symbol of such a reversal. Suddenly the chain of transmission turns around. He needs me. The pathos of kaddish lies in the magnitude of the helplessness of the dead, in the magnitude of their dependence upon the living. The commentary to Abraham Horowitz's book was written, appropriately by his son, and on his discussion of the principle that the son acquits the father, Jacob Horowitz comments: "As the parent has mercy on his children, so must the son have mercy on the forlorn soul of his father and his mother." There is the reversal.
- Leon Wiesieltier, Kaddish (1998), 174-175
The prayers end and the congregation files out. In the corridor a gentleman approaches me and says: "Have a good year, Mr. Wieseltier." I am a little discomfited. I am not Mr. Wieseltier. He was Mr. Wieseltier. In a way, this marks the end of shul as I have known it. All my life I went to shul with my father, that is, I went to shul as a son. It was because I found it impossible to stop going to shul as a son that I stopped going to shul. I came to conflate religion with childhood. But childhood is over. And so Mr. Wieseltier returns the greeting. "And a good year to you, too."
- Wieseltier, 218
We have beautiful prayers but there was an additional prayer that was recited, a strange prayer, a prayer that made no sense. It did not speak of the loss even once. Instead it was full of praises and exaltations of the murdering God. When I heard it, I bit my lips with rage and said to myself: I would stone you, Lord, if a stone could reach you , if you were not hiding so far away!"
- Vladimir Jabotinsky in Wiesieltier (163)
Just How Important is Kaddish Though?
Here is Abraham Horowitz's (Book: The Bequest, 1615 Prague) characterization of the mourner's kaddish: "This Kaddish is not a prayer that the son prayers for the father before God, that He raise him from the lower depths. It is, instead, a privilege and a good deed that accrues to the dead when his son publicly sanctifies the Name of God [by reciting the Kaddish] and the congregation responds...And this is all the more the case when the son fulfills any of God's commandments because his father enjoined him to fulfill it." What a fine, unmorbid view. I like the idea that the kaddish is not a prayer for the dead. And I like the recontextualization of the Kaddish in Jewish life, so that it is no longer as pivotal an instrument of identity as modern Jews, in their poverty of their religoius means, make it to be. Horowitz nicely restores the proportions.
- Wieseltier, 176-177
Tonight, for the first time since I became dependent on a quorum of ten men, we failed to muster a quorum of ten men. The gracious, restless, devout young lawyer who does the mustering worked the phones. "Aryeh? Get up! Get out of bed! What? Yes, it's shul! Come on, get into your shoes!" Then he put the phone down and triuphantly announced. "OK, that's five." And so it went. Our musterer didn't count in the customary way, with the traditional verse of ten words. His mnemonic device was the ten plagues. The sun was setting - and we were only up to boils! Then hail arrived, ad then locusts, and then darkness, and the plague of the firstborn straggled in, and we were ready. I was moved by the alacrity with which these people had dropped what they were doing and rushed to Georgetown, so that other people might be spared a dereliction of their duty.
There will come an evening next spring, after my kaddish completed, when my phone will ring in the twilight hour. I will not have forgotten today's twilight hour, I hope.
- Wieseltier, 194-195
Making the Argument to Recite Kaddish Without A Minyan
ומה שנהגו להעמיד מים בכלי – יש לבטל, דזהו מחוקות וכו' אבל הנר רשאי להעמיד, ד"נר ה' נשמת אדם". ועוד יש מנהגים, ונהרא נהרא ופשטיה.
The custom to place a glass or vessel containing water in a house of mourning should be abolished, for this is considered a heathen practice. However, a candle or lamp should be lit, for ‘the soul of man is the lamp of the Lord’ (Prov. XX, 27)
The strongest expression of the authority of custom per se, as well as of its authority in relation to law, is found in the principle minhag mevattel halakhah ("custom supersedes [abrogates] the law")...
Rabbi Israel ben Hayyim Bruna offers a concise statement of [of what this principles means]: "custom overturns (oker) law in matters of divorce and halitzah, for issur ve-heter (ritual matters that are prohibited and permissible), and for monetary matters."
- Rabbi Joel Roth, The Halakhic Process: A Systemic Analysis (1986), 211-212.
The observance of any customary behavior that cannot be demonstrated to be consonant with the spirit of the Torah, and that is contrary to a legal norm, is considered to be an error of shikkul ha-da'at ("a mistaken view"). It cannot be considered an outright error, since the behavior has the practice of the people to support it, and since, in addition, it cannot be demonstrated to be contrary to the spirit of the Torah. However, since it cannot be demonstrated to be consonant with the the spirit of the Torah either, that lack constitutes evidence favoring the law above the cstom, and observance of the custom is considered an error of Shikkul ha-da'at.
- Roth, 213
Question: Is saying Kaddish without a minyan a custom that is contrary to the spirit of the Torah?
Is it a custom that is consonant with the Torah?
The three most important factors that contribute to the complexity of the role of custom in the halakhic system are:
1) The fact that the status of minhag vetikin, customs from time immemorial, is a matter of considerable controversy among halakhic authorities. Some put it in a class by itself, virtually above the law, while others, like the Radbaz and the Ritba, subordinate it, too, to the legal system.
2) The fact that since custom originates among the people, its hold upon the people may prevent its abrogation even when it seems that the scholars are likely to fail in their attempt to abrogate it -- although the judgment of how likely the scholars are to fail is hardly an objective one.
3) The fact that although custom in the halakhic system can no longer be elevated to the level of legal norms dejure, it is elevated defacto, can result in misunderstanding and confusion. Clearly, no authority can maintain that a custom has been elevated to the status of a legal norm, because such a statement would imply dejure elevation, which is impossible. Indeed, it seems plausible to assert that a major dispute between today's sages regarding custom would tend to revolve around the tacit contention of some that a great deal of customary behavior has attained the defacto status of legal norms and the denial of that contention by others. Both positions are tenable, and the resultant dispute is a legitimate mahloket (argument).
- Roth, 229-230
Extra Sources to Study
קמד.
הא לך סדר מוצאי שבתות:
נמצא בספרי' הפנימי'. ת': מעשה בר' עקיבא שהיה מהלך בבית הקברות בדרך ופגע באדם אחד שהיה ערום ושחור כפחם והיה טעום משאוי גדול של קוצים על ראשו. כסבור עליו ר' עקיבא שהוא חי והיה רץ כסוס. גזר עליו ר' עקיבא והעמידו. א' לו מה לאותו האיש לעשות עבודה קשה כזאת. אם עבד אתה [ואדונך] עושה לך [כך] אני אפדה אותך מידו. ואם עני עתה ובני אדם באים עליך בעקיפין אני מעשיר אותך. א' לו בבקשה ממך אל תעכביני שמא ירגזו בי הממונין עלי. אמר לו מה זו ומה מעשיך. אמר לו אותו האיש מת. ובכל יום שולחים אותי לחטוב עצים. אמר לו בני מה היה מלאכתך בעולם שבאתה ממנו. אמר לו גבאי המכס הייתי. והייתי נושא פנים לעשירים והורג את העניים. אמר לו כלום שמעת מאותם הממונין עליך לפורענות איזו דבר שיש לו תקנה. אמר בבקשה ממך אל תעכביני שמא ירגזו עלי בעלי פורענות שאותו האיש אין לו תקנה. אלא שמעתי מהם דבר שלא היה יכול להיות. שאלמלא היה לו לעני זה בן שהוא עומד בקהל ואומר ברכו את ה' המבורך והם עונין אחריו. ויהא שמיה רבה מברך מיד מתירין אותו מן הפורענות. ואותו האיש לא היה לו בן מעולם. והניח את אשתו מעוברת. ואיני יודע אם ילדה זכר. ואם ילדה זכר מי מלמדו תורה שאין לאותו האיש אוהב בעולם. מיד קיבל עליו ר' עקיבא לילך לחפש אם הוליד לו בן זכר כדי ללמדו תורה ויעמידנו לפני הציבור. אמר לו מה שמך. אמר לו עקיבא. ושם אשתך. אמר לו שושניבא. ושם עירך לודקייא. מיד נצטער ר' עקיבא צער גדול והלך ושאל עליו. כיון שבא לאותו מקום שאל עליו. אמרו לו ישחקו עצמותיו של אותו האיש. שאל על אשתו. אמרו לו ימחה זכרה מן העולם. שאל על בנו. אמרו לו הרי ערל הוא. אפילו מצות מילה לא עיסקנו בו. מיד מלו ר' עקיבא. והושיבו בספר לפניו ולא היה מקבל התורה. עד שישב (א') [מ'] יום בתענית. יצתה בת קול ואמרה לו לזה אתה מתענה. אמר לפניו רבונו של עולם והלא לפניך ערכתי אותו. מיד פתח הק' את לבו ולמדו תורה. וק"ש וברכת המזון. והעמידו לפני הקהל ואומר ברכו. והם ענו אחריו ברוך ה' המבורך. באותה שעה התירו אותו מן הפורענות. מיד בא אותו האיש לר' עקיבא בחלום. ואמר יהי רצון מלפניך הקב"ה שתנוח דעתך בגן עדן שהצלת אותי מדינה של גהינם. מיד פתח ר' עקיבא ואמר (תהילים קל״ה:י״ג) י"י שמך לעולם י"י זכרך לדור ודור: ועל כן נהגו לעבור לפני התיבה במוצאי שבת אדם שאין לו אב או אם לומר ברכו או קדיש:
The story is told of Rabbi Akiva who was walking in a cemetery and came across a naked man who was dark as coal and carrying a huge load of sticks on his head. Thinking that he was alive, Rabbi Akiva asked how he had gotten into the situation of needing to do such difficult work, and offering to go to any means necessary to redeem him. The man asked Rabbi Akiva to get out of his way. "What's the story here", asked Rabbi Akiva. "I'm actually dead", the man replied, "and every day they send me to cut down trees."
What was your job when you were alive", Rabbi Akiva asked. "I was a tax collector", the man replied, "and I would favor the wealthy and kill the poor."
Rabbi Akiva asked him, "“Haven’t you heard anything from those appointed to punish you about how you might be relieved?” “I did hear from [those appointed over me] one impossible thing", he replied. "They told me the only way to get out of this situation is if I had a son who stood up in the minyan and declared "Barchu et Hashem Hamevorach", and they answer after him, "Yehei Shmei Rabah Mevorach". If that were to happen, I would immediately be released from this punishment. I didn't have a son, but I left behind a pregnant wife. I don't know if she gave birth to a son. If she did give birth to a son, who would possibly teach this son Torah, since nobody in the world liked me?" Immediately, Rabbi Akiva decided that he would go search and see if the man did in fact have a son who he could teach Torah and teach to lead prayers." Rabbi Akiva asked the man who was being punished, "What's your name?", and the man answered, "Akiva". He asked him, "What's your wife's name?", and he answered "Shoshbina". He asked "Where are you from?", and the man responded, "Ludkia". Immediately Rabbi Akiva put himself through great difficulty to find the man's family. When he made it to the town, he asked about the man. "May that man's bones erode", the people responded. He asked about the man's wife. "May her memory be wiped out for all time", they said. He asked about the child. They responded, "He isn't even circumcised". Rabbi Akiva immediately circumcised the boy. Rabbi Akiva put a book in front of the boy, but the boy couldn't learn anything until Rabbi Akiva fasted for 40 days. A heavenly voice emerged, asked, "You're fasting on behalf of this kid?" Rabbi Akiva responded, "Master of the Universe, have I not prepared him before you?" Immediately, God opened up the boy's heart, and he was able to learn Torah, the Shema and Birkat Hamazon (the grace after meals). Rabbi Akiva stood him up in front of the community to recite Barchu, and they recited, "Baruch Hashem Hamevorach". Immediately, they released the boy's father from his punishment. Immediately, the boy's father came to Rabbi Akiva in a dream, saying to him, "May it be God's well that you rest for all time in the Garden of Eden, for you saved me from the punishment of Gehennom. Rabbi Akiva responded with a verse from Psalms, "God's name is forever, God's memory passes from generation to generation." Therefore, the custom developed for someone who doesn't have a father or mother to say Barchu or Kaddish on Motzei Shabbat (when the souls of those in Gehennom, who have been in temporary reprieve for Shabbat, are returning to Gehennom).
(ד) אמר ר׳ ישמעאל סח לי ססנגיר שר הפנים: ידידי, שב בחיקי ואגיד לך מה תהא לישראל. ישבתי בחיקו והיה מסתכל בי ובוכה והיו דמעות זולגות מעיניו ויורדות עלי. אמרתי לו, הדר זיווי, מפני מה אתה בוכה? אמר לי, בוא ואכניסך ואודיעך מה נגנזו להם לישראל עם קדושים. תפשני בידי והכניסני לחדרי חדרים ולגנזי גנזים ולאוצרות. נטל הפנקסין ופתח והראני כתובות מצרות משונות זו מזו. אמרתי לו, הדר זיווי, הללו למי? אמר לי, לישראל. אמרתי לו, ויכולין ישראל לעמוד בהן? אמר לי, בוא למחר ואראך צרות משונות מן הראשונות, למחר הכניסני לחדרי חדרים והראני אשר לשבי לשבי, ואשר לרעב לרעב, ואשר לבזה לבזה. אמרתי לו, וכי ישראל לבד חטאו? אמר לי, בכל יום מתחדשות עליהם גזרות קשות מאלו, וכיון שישראל נכנסין לבתי כנסיות ולבתי מדרשות ועונין אמן יהא שמיה רבא מבורך לעלם ולעלמי עלמיא, אין מניחין אותן לצאת מחדרי חדרים. מי לא יאדיר למלך האדיר, מי לא יברך למלך המבורך, מי לא ירומם למלך המרומם, מי לא יהדר למלך המהודר, מי לא ימליך למלך המלכים, מי לא ישבח למלך המשובח, מי לא יקדיש למלך המקודש, יתקדש שמו לעד ולנצח, שבכל יום גבורות ונפלאות מתרגשות מלפני הקב״ה מעולות ומשונות זו מזו, ושמח בנו בעת תפלת בניו. הא למדת כמה גדול כח הקדיש שמעכב הצרות ומשמח הקב״ה.
Rabbi Yishmael said, Sasnegir Sar HaPanim conversed with me: my beloved, sit in my lap and I will tell you what will occur to Israel. I sat on his lap and he looked at me and cried, tears flowing from his eyes and falling upon me. I said to him, my splendid radiance, why are your crying? He said to me, come and I will bring you in and let you know what is decreed for Israel, the nation of holy people. He took me by the hand and brought me into the into the room of rooms, the most hidden places and the treasure houses. He took his journal, opened it and showed me writings about the afflictions, each different from the other. I said to him, my splendid radiance, whose are these? And he said to me: Israel’s. I asked him, can Israel withstand them? He said to me, come tomorrow and I will show you miseries different from the first ones. The next day he brought me into the room within rooms and showed me those taken captive, those starving, those pillaged. I said to him, has only Israel sinned? He said to me, every day the harsh decrees are renewed upon them But, since Israel enters the synagogues and houses of study, and answer “amen, yehei Shemei Raba mevorakh l’olam u’lolmei almaya/ amen, let the Great Name be blessed for ever and throughout eternity" they [the harsh decrees] are not allowed to leave the inner chamber
Who does not glorify the glorious King, who does not bless the Blessed King, who does not extol the Exalted King, who does not honor the Splendid King, who does not enthrone the King of Kings, who does not praise the Praiseworthy King, who does not sanctify the Holy King, may He be sanctified forever and for eternity? For, every day judgments and wonders are activated before the Holy One, each superior and different than the other, and God delights in us at the time of his children’s prayers. This teaches us how great is the power of the kaddish that prevents afflictions and gladdens the Holy One.
This afternoon I had another thought about the kaddish. The son's redemption of the dead father, the dead father's protection by the son: is this not an allegory for the power of the present over the past? For the past is at the mercy of the present. The present can condemn the past to oblivion or obscurity. Whatever happens to the past will happen to it posthumously. And so the saga of the family is also the saga of the tradition. Kinship is stewardship.
- Wiesieltier (144)