Honor? Love? Fear? Exploring the 5th Commandment

First, a story about Abraham...

Genesis Rabbah 38.13
Abraham's father, Terach was an idol-manufacturer. Once he had to travel, so he left Abraham to manage the shop. People would come in and ask to buy idols. Abraham would say, "How old are you?" The person would say, "Fifty," or "Sixty". Abraham would say, "Isn't it pathetic that a man of sixty wants to bow down to a one-day-old idol?" The man would feel ashamed and leave.
One time a woman came with a basket of bread. She said to Abraham, "Take this and offer it to the gods". Abraham got up, took a hammer in his hand, broke all the idols to pieces, and then put the hammer in the hand of the biggest idol among them.
When his father came back and saw the broken idols, he was appalled. "Who did this?" he cried. "How can I hide anything from you?" replied Abraham calmly. "A woman came with a basket of bread and told me to offer it to them. I brought it in front of them, and each one said, "I'm going to eat first." Then the biggest one got up, took the hammer and broke all the others to pieces."
"What are you trying to pull on me?!" asked Terach, "Do they have minds?!"
Said Abraham: "Listen to what your own mouth is saying? They have no power at all! Why worship idols?"

What does Torah say?

Exodus 20.12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Adonai your God has given to you.	(יב) כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יי אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ (ס)
Leviticus 19.1-3 And Adonai spoke unto Moses, saying: Speak to all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say to them: You shall be holy; for I Adonai your God am holy. Every person among you shall fear/be in awe of his mother, and his father, and you shall keep My sabbaths: I am Adonai your God.	(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר יי אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר (ב) דַּבֵּ֞ר אֶל־כָּל־עֲדַ֧ת בְּנֵי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל וְאָמַרְתָּ֥ אֲלֵהֶ֖ם קְדֹשִׁ֣ים תִּהְי֑וּ כִּ֣י קָד֔וֹשׁ אֲנִ֖י יי אֱלֹהֵיכֶֽם׃ (ג) אִ֣ישׁ אִמּ֤וֹ וְאָבִיו֙ תִּירָ֔אוּ וְאֶת־שַׁבְּתֹתַ֖י תִּשְׁמֹ֑רוּ אֲנִ֖י יי אֱלֹהֵיכֶֽם׃
Deuteronomy 5.16 Honor your father and your mother, as Adonai you God commanded you; that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you, upon the land which Adonai your God has given to you.	(טז) כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוְּךָ יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ לְמַעַן יַאֲרִיכֻן יָמֶיךָ וּלְמַעַן יִיטַב לָךְ עַל הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ.

What do our Rabbis say?

Babylonian Talmud, Kiddushin 31b
The rabbis taught: what is 'awe' and what is 'honor'? 'Awe' is not to stand in his place or sit in his place and not to contradict him or support his arguments; 'honor' is to feed and give to drink, clothe, transport...

ת"ר איזהו מורא ואיזהו כיבוד מורא לא עומד במקומו ולא יושב במקומו ולא סותר את דבריו ולא מכריעו כיבוד מאכיל ומשקה
מלביש ומכסה מכניס ומוציא

Sefer haChinuch 33.2
The roots and origins of this mitzvah are that it is right and beneficial for a person to recognize and acknowledge when someone does good for them, and to act generously and kindly in return. One should not disgrace himself by being stubborn and distant and closed of heart, for this is a poor and wholly despicable trait in the eyes of God and man. One should meditate on the fact that his father and mother are the reason for his existence in the world, and that therefore it is truly incumbent upon him to act respectfully and in ways that will benefit and help them. For they brought him into the world, and showed him all manner of kindness and affections when he was young. And when one properly internalizes and strengthens this trait in his soul, there will grow from it a recognition of the goodness and kindness of God. For God is the ultimate reason for our existence, and for the existence of our forefathers stretching all the way back to the very first human - Adam. And God brought the first human into the air of the world, and provided all his needs, and enabled him to have clothing and completeness of body. God also gave him a mind capable of knowledge and understanding, and without this act of kindness humans would live in darkness and ignorance. Reflecting on all of this, one will understand the need for thought and care in his worship and service of God...

משרשי מצוה זו, שראוי לו לאדם שיכיר ויגמל חסד למי שעשה עמו טובה, ולא יהיה נבל ומתנכר וכפוי טובה שזו מדה רעה ומאוסה בתכלית לפני אלקים ואנשים. ושיתן אל לבו כי האב והאם הם סבת היותו בעולם, ועל כן באמת ראוי לו לעשות להם כל כבוד וכל תועלת שיוכל, כי הם הביאוהו לעולם, גם יגעו בו כמה יגיעות בקטנתו, וכשיקבע זאת המדה בנפשו יעלה ממנה להכיר טובת האל ברוך הוא שהוא סבתו וסבת כל אבותיו עד אדם הראשון, ושהוציאו לאויר העולם וספק צרכו כל ימיו והעמידו על מתכנתו ושלמות אבריו, ונתן בו נפש יודעת ומשכלת, שאלולי הנפש שחננו האל, יהיה כסוס כפרד אין הבין, ויעריך במחשבתו כמה וכמה ראוי להזהר בעבודתו ברוך הוא

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
The surprising feature of the Fifth Commandment is its insistence that we owe our parents honor, while saying nothing about loving them. It is not as if the Torah is reluctant to command love: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18); “And you shall love the Lord your God” (Deut. 6:5); “You shall love the stranger” (Lev. 19:34). Why then are we not commanded to love our parents? I think the real reason is that the Torah realized that it is harder to command love in a relationship as intimate as that between children and parents; either the love is present or it isn’t. In addition, many children, much as they might love their parents most of the time, go through periods of estrangement from them. Thus, what the Torah is offering us is a guideline for behavior even during those periods when we might not be feeling loving toward our parents. Even at those times when we feel our parents have not been fair to us, or even when we have seen them do something we regard as wrong, we are still obligated to honor them.

Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Mamrim 6.2
In the matter of honor due to one's parents, the father is mentioned first (Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16). However in the matter of reverence, the mother is mentioned first (Leviticus 19:3). From this we infer that both are to be equally honored and revered. (Maimonides, Mishnah Torah Book of Judges Mamrim 6:2).