Basic outline:
- Blow shofar
- Psalms
- Kaddish
- El Maleh
- Shoah
- A poem
- Closing personal prayers
(א) אבל: יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. [קהל: אמן]
(ב) בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
(ג) קהל ואבל: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:
(ד) אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. [קהל: בריך הוא:]
(ה) לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא בעשי”ת: לְעֵלָּא לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
(ו) יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
(ז) עוֹשה שָׁלוֹם בעשי”ת: הַשָּׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
(1) Mourner: Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba: [cong. Amen.]
(2) Mourner: b’alma di-v’ra chirutei, v’yamlich malchutei b’chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei d’chol beit yisrael, ba’agala uvizman kariv, v’im’ru: “amen.” [cong. Amen.]
(3) Cong. and mourner: Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam ul’almei almaya.
(4) Mourner: Yitbarach v’yishtabach, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam v’yitnaseh, v’yithadar v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kud’sha, b’rich hu, [cong. b’rich hu.]
(5) Mourner: l’eila min-kol-birchata v’shirata, tushb’chata v’nechemata da’amiran b’alma, v’im’ru: “amen.” [cong. Amen.]
(6) Mourner: Y’hei shlama raba min-sh’maya v’chayim aleinu v’al-kol-yisrael, v’im’ru: “amen.” [cong. Amen.]
(7) Mourner: Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu v’al kol-yisrael, v’imru: “amen.” [cong. Amen.]
Eternal Rest, Eternal Peace
By Suzanne Sabransky
When the time has come,
When we leave this physical plane,
We do not depart into blackness,
We do not disappear into nothingness.
We transition from here to there,
From life among the breathing
To a place of profound security,
Safe at the right hand of Our Creator
No longer do we dance the dance of frailty.
No longer are we confined by the limits of body.
At last we are free to allow our souls to take wing,
At last we can know the splendors of the Shechinah.
We grieve at this time, we feel heartache and loss,
Yet the departure of our loved ones is freedom for them.
The ones we love, now know the blessings of Adonai,
And they are bathed in the brilliance of G-d's mercy.
With heart and mind, memories are sustained,
As they are forever bound to those who remember them.
The wings of Sukkat Shalom embrace them in love,
And they are granted peace and joy for all eternity.
May the One who heals, heal us all.
May those who suffered find sanctuary.
May The Giver of Life comfort us in mourning,
And may we find we are better for having known them.
Amen
Example of a closing personal prayers:
By Rabbi Janet Madden
God, Source of All, Comfort of all who mourn, I ask for Your comfort as I return to a place of emotional devastation. My heart is filled with the pain of loss; I feel the sharpness of a grief that will be with me until my own dying day.
At this time of year, when it is traditional to visit the graves of our beloved dead, I ache with longing. I feel so very far away, separated by geography and time and by the reality that life does go on, no matter how difficult it is to be without _________. How I wish we could be together again to talk, to laugh, to touch. How I wish I could say “I love you” one more time.
In the midst of my sorrow at a life without __________, I am grateful that I have been granted the ability to know what it is to love and be loved in return. As I light this candle in honor and memory of my beloved__________, I thank and bless you, God, Source of Life and Love, for blessing us with the life we shared.
I ask you, God, to bless me with comfort and healing. May the blessing of ___________’s life give me the courage to make a blessing of my own. May I go forward from this time in renewed strength and peace. Amen.