Save "B'nei Mitzvah ~ Class 1: Teshuvah a la Rambam"
B'nei Mitzvah ~ Class 1: Teshuvah a la Rambam

אֵי זוֹ הִיא תְּשׁוּבָה גְּמוּרָה. זֶה שֶׁבָּא לְיָדוֹ דָּבָר שֶׁעָבַר בּוֹ וְאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָשָׂה מִפְּנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה. לֹא מִיִּרְאָה וְלֹא מִכִּשְׁלוֹן כֹּחַ.

What is complete repentance? A person who once more had in it in her power to repeat a violation, but refrained herself from doing it, and did not do it because of her own returning [to the good ways], and not because of fear or lack of strength.

~ Give examples of what the Rambam calls "teshuvah gemurah", a complete repentance. You can make them up or bring examples from your own experience.

וּמַה הִיא הַתְּשׁוּבָה. הוּא שֶׁיַּעֲזֹב הַחוֹטֵא חֶטְאוֹ וִיסִירוֹ מִמַּחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ וְיִגְמֹר בְּלִבּוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשֵׂהוּ עוֹד שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נה ז) "יַעֲזֹב רָשָׁע דַּרְכּוֹ" וְגוֹ'. וְכֵן יִתְנַחֵם עַל שֶׁעָבַר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיה לא יט) "כִּי אַחֲרֵי שׁוּבִי נִחַמְתִּי". וְיָעִיד עָלָיו יוֹדֵעַ תַּעֲלוּמוֹת שֶׁלֹּא יָשׁוּב לְזֶה הַחֵטְא לְעוֹלָם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (הושע יד ד) "וְלֹא נֹאמַר עוֹד אֱלֹהֵינוּ לְמַעֲשֵׂה יָדֵינוּ" וְגוֹ'. וְצָרִיךְ לְהִתְוַדּוֹת בִּשְׂפָתָיו וְלוֹמַר עִנְיָנוֹת אֵלּוּ שֶׁגָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ:

What is repentance? The sinner shall cease sinning, and remove sin from his/her thoughts, and wholeheartedly conclude not to revert back to it, even as it is said: "Let the wicked forsake his way" (Is. 55.7); so, too, shall the sinner be remorseful on what was past, even as it is said: "Surely after that I was turned, I repented" (Jer. 31. 19). In addition to that, the person should take as witness The One Who Knows All Secrets, that forever the person will not turn to repeat that sin again, according to what it is said: "Say to God.… neither will we call any more the work of our hands our gods" (Hos. 14.3–4). It is, moreover, essential that the person's confession be spoken with words, verbally, and all that which the person thought must be formed in speech.

~ What are the four steps of teshuvah, for the Rambam?

~ In what language do you have to say the steps?

~ When do you have to say the steps?

~ How easy is it to do teshuvah, following those steps?

כָּל הַמִּתְוַדֶּה בִּדְבָרִים וְלֹא גָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ לַעֲזֹב הֲרֵי זֶה דּוֹמֶה לְטוֹבֵל וְשֶׁרֶץ בְּיָדוֹ שֶׁאֵין הַטְּבִילָה מוֹעֶלֶת לוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּשְׁלִיךְ הַשֶּׁרֶץ. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר וּמוֹדֶה וְעֹזֵב יְרֻחָם. וְצָרִיךְ לִפְרֹט אֶת הַחֵטְא שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות לב לא) "אָנָּא חָטָא הָעָם הַזֶּה חֲטָאָה גְדלָה וַיַּעֲשׂוּ לָהֶם אֱלֹהֵי זָהָב":

A person who confesses by speech but in their hearts have not decided to abandon the bad conduct, behold! That person is like someone taking an immersion of purification while grasping an impure creeping thing: the immersion is of no value until the person casts away the impure creeping thing. Even so it is advised to do, saying: "But who confesses and forsakes them shall shall obtain mercy" (Pro. 28. 13). In confessing to God, it is obligatory to name the sin, even as it is said: "Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them a god of gold" (Ex. 32.31).

~ Why doesn't the confession help in this case?

~ Is it possible to say you're sorry while not being sorry at all?

מִדַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה לִהְיוֹת הַשָּׁב צוֹעֵק תָּמִיד לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם בִּבְכִי וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים וְעוֹשֶׂה צְדָקָה כְּפִי כֹּחוֹ וּמִתְרַחֵק הַרְבֵּה מִן הַדָּבָר שֶׁחָטָא בּוֹ וּמְשַׁנֶּה שְׁמוֹ כְּלוֹמַר אֲנִי אַחֵר וְאֵינִי אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ שֶׁעָשָׂה אוֹתָן הַמַּעֲשִׂים וּמְשַׁנֶּה מַעֲשָׂיו כֻּלָּן לְטוֹבָה וּלְדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה וְגוֹלֶה מִמְּקוֹמוֹ. שֶׁגָּלוּת מְכַפֶּרֶת עָוֹן מִפְּנֵי שֶׁגּוֹרֶמֶת לוֹ לְהִכָּנַע וְלִהְיוֹת עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ:

The ways of repentance are these: the person doing repentance needs to cry out in tearful supplication before the Name; they should to give tzedakah according to their means; distance themselves exceedingly from the thing or person that brought about the sin; to have their name changed, as if saying: "I am now another person, and not that person who perpetrated those misdeeds", so as to completely change their conduct for the good and straight path, and to exile themselves from their place of residence, because being in exile atones for sins, since it forces a person to be submissive, meek and humble.

There are five things one can do for their teshuvah. What are they?

~ Pick the one you like most. Why?

~ Pick the one you dislike most. Why?

~ Which is the easiest?

~ Which is the hardest?

~ Why do you think that it is important to be submissive, meek and humble, in the context of doing teshuvah?

וְשֶׁבַח גָּדוֹל לַשָּׁב שֶׁיִּתְוַדֶּה בָּרַבִּים וְיוֹדִיעַ פְּשָׁעָיו לָהֶם וּמְגַלֶּה עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵין חֲבֵרוֹ לַאֲחֵרִים וְאוֹמֵר לָהֶם אָמְנָם חָטָאתִי לִפְלוֹנִי וְעָשִׂיתִי לוֹ כָּךְ וְכָךְ וַהֲרֵינִי הַיּוֹם שָׁב וּמִתְנַחֵם. וְכָל הַמִּתְגָּאֶה וְאֵינוֹ מוֹדִיעַ אֶלָּא מְכַסֶּה פְּשָׁעָיו אֵין תְּשׁוּבָתוֹ גְּמוּרָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי כח יג) "מְכַסֶּה פְשָׁעָיו לֹא יַצְלִיחַ". בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים בַּעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ אֲבָל בַּעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם אֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ לְפַרְסֵם עַצְמוֹ וְעַזּוּת פָּנִים הִיא לוֹ אִם גִּלָּם. אֶלָּא שָׁב לִפְנֵי הָאֵל בָּרוּךְ הוּא וּפוֹרֵט חֲטָאָיו לְפָנָיו וּמִתְוַדֶּה עֲלֵיהֶם לִפְנֵי רַבִּים סְתָם. וְטוֹבָה הִיא לוֹ שֶׁלֹּא נִתְגַּלָּה עֲוֹנוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהילים לב א) "אַשְׁרֵי נְשׂוּי פֶּשַׁע כְּסוּי חֲטָאָה":

The person doing teshuvah who confesses in public is praiseworthy, and it is commendable for that person to let everyone know what the person did wrong. The person should reveal the sins they committed between themselves and their neighbors to other people, saying to them: "Truly, I have sinned against that man/woman, and I have wronged her/him thus and such, but, look at me today, I repented and I am remorseful". But a person who is arrogant and instead of revealing covers up his/her sins, is not doing a wholehearted teshuvah. Of such a person it is said: "He that covers his sins shall not prosper" (Proverbs 28:13). This only applies to sins between a person and another, but sins between a person and God, you do not need make them public, on the contrary it would be impudent of you should reveal them. You, however, should repent before God, blessed be! and before God you should detail all your sins; and then make public confession upon them by simply saying: "I have sinned". Such procedure is, indeed, for your own good, even as it is said: "Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered (Psalms 32:1).

~ Why should you admit publicly having wrong someone?

~ Why mustn't you admit publicly when you sinned against God?

אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהַתְּשׁוּבָה וְהַצְּעָקָה יָפָה לָעוֹלָם. בַּעֲשָׂרָה הַיָּמִים שֶׁבֵּין רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה וְיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים הִיא יָפָה בְּיוֹתֵר וּמִתְקַבֶּלֶת הִיא מִיָּד שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נה ו) "דִּרְשׁוּ ה' בְּהִמָּצְאוֹ". בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים בְּיָחִיד אֲבָל צִבּוּר כָּל זְמַן שֶׁעוֹשִׂים תְּשׁוּבָה וְצוֹעֲקִין בְּלֵב שָׁלֵם הֵם נַעֲנִין שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ד ז) "כַּה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ בְּכָל קָרְאֵנוּ אֵלָיו":

Although it is always good to cry out and repent, during the space of the ten days' time between Rosh ha-Shanah and Yom ha-Kippurim it is exceedingly better, and the supplication is presently accepted, even as it is said: "Seek you Ad-nai while Ad-nai may be found" (Isaiah 55:6). But that is saying solely concerning an individual, but a community every time they cry out a wholehearted repentance they are answered, even as it is said: "As the Lord our God is in all things that we call upon him for" (Deut. 6.7).

~ Why are the Days between Rosh haShanah and Yom Kippur important? Why are they different?

יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים הוּא זְמַן תְּשׁוּבָה לַכּל לַיָּחִיד וְלָרַבִּים וְהוּא קֵץ מְחִילָה וּסְלִיחָה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל. לְפִיכָךְ חַיָּבִים הַכּל לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה וּלְהִתְוַדּוֹת בְּיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים. וּמִצְוַת וִדּוּי יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים שֶׁיַּתְחִיל מֵעֶרֶב הַיּוֹם קֹדֶם שֶׁיֹּאכַל שֶׁמָּא יֵחָנֵק בַּסְּעֻדָּה קֹדֶם שֶׁיִּתְוַדֶּה. וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִתְוַדָּה קֹדֶם שֶׁיֹּאכַל חוֹזֵר וּמִתְוַדֶּה בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים עַרְבִית וְחוֹזֵר וּמִתְוַדֶּה בְּשַׁחֲרִית וּבְמוּסָף וּבְמִנְחָה וּבִנְעִילָה. וְהֵיכָן מִתְוַדֶּה. יָחִיד אַחַר תְּפִלָּתוֹ וּשְׁלִיחַ צִבּוּר בְּאֶמְצַע תְּפִלָּתוֹ בִּבְרָכָה רְבִיעִית:

Yom ha-Kippurim is the time set aside for repentance for all, the individual as well as the public; for it is the goal of exoneration and acquittal in Israel. Because all are obligated to make reparation and confession on the Day of Atonement. Every person is obligated to do the mitzvah of confession of Yom Kippur on the afternoon on the ninth day of Tishrei, before the evening meal, lest a person die due to choking while eating the meal an does not confess. And, even though one did confess before the meal, one is obligated to confess again during the night prayer of the Day of Atonement, and to repeat the confession during the Morning, Musaf, Afternoon, and Ne'ilah (closing prayers). At what part of the prayers is the confession made? Every individual delivers it after the silent Amidah blessings, but the Reader does that in the middle of repeating the prayers, after the Fourth Blessing.

~ Why all these confessions? What good can it bring to say over and over again the same thing?

אֵין הַתְּשׁוּבָה וְלֹא יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפְּרִין אֶלָּא עַל עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם כְּגוֹן מִי שֶׁאָכַל דָּבָר אָסוּר אוֹ בָּעַל בְּעִילָה אֲסוּרָה וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן. אֲבָל עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ כְּגוֹן הַחוֹבֵל אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אוֹ הַמְקַלֵּל חֲבֵרוֹ אוֹ גּוֹזְלוֹ וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן אֵינוֹ נִמְחַל לוֹ לְעוֹלָם עַד שֶׁיִּתֵּן לַחֲבֵרוֹ מַה שֶּׁהוּא חַיָּב לוֹ וִירַצֵּהוּ. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהֶחֱזִיר לוֹ מָמוֹן שֶׁהוּא חַיָּב לוֹ צָרִיךְ לְרַצּוֹתוֹ וְלִשְׁאל מִמֶּנּוּ שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ. אֲפִלּוּ לֹא הִקְנִיט אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אֶלָּא בִּדְבָרִים צָרִיךְ לְפַיְּסוֹ וְלִפְגֹּעַ בּוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ. לֹא רָצָה חֲבֵרוֹ לִמְחל לוֹ מֵבִיא לוֹ שׁוּרָה שֶׁל שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּנֵי אָדָם מֵרֵעָיו וּפוֹגְעִין בּוֹ וּמְבַקְּשִׁין מִמֶּנּוּ. לֹא נִתְרַצָּה לָהֶן מֵבִיא לוֹ שְׁנִיָּה וּשְׁלִישִׁית. לֹא רָצָה מְנִיחוֹ וְהוֹלֵךְ לוֹ וְזֶה שֶׁלֹּא מָחַל הוּא הַחוֹטֵא. וְאִם הָיָה רַבּוֹ הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא אֲפִלּוּ אֶלֶף פְּעָמִים עַד שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ:

Teshuvah and Yom Kipur do atone only for sins committed between man and God, for instance, one who ate forbidden food, or had forbidden relationship and the like; but sins between a person and another, for instance, one injures their neighbor, or curses their neighbor or plunders, or offends the neighbor in any matter, there is no way to be absolved unless the person makes restitution of what they owe and begs the forgiveness of the neighbor. And, although one did make restitution of the monetary debt, one is obligated to pacify the neighbor and beg for forgiveness. Even if the offense was nothing but words, one is obligated to appease the neighbor and implore until the neighbor forgives. If the neighbor refuses, the person should send a committee of three friends to implore and beg for forgiveness; if the neighbor still refuses the person should bring a second, even a third committee, and if the neighbor remains obstinate, the person then may leave and give up, for the sin then rests upon the neighbor who refuses forgiveness. But if it happened to be one's teacher, the person should ask the teacher for forgiveness even a thousand times, until the teacher does forgive.

~ Why are there limits for Yom Kipur?

~ Why can't God forgive your sins against other people?

אָסוּר לָאָדָם לִהְיוֹת אַכְזָרִי וְלֹא יִתְפַּיֵּס אֶלָּא יְהֵא נוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת וְקָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁמְּבַקֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ הַחוֹטֵא לִמְחל מוֹחֵל בְּלֵב שָׁלֵם וּבְנֶפֶשׁ חֲפֵצָה. וַאֲפִלּוּ הֵצֵר לוֹ וְחָטָא לוֹ הַרְבֵּה לֹא יִקֹּם וְלֹא יִטֹּר. וְזֶהוּ דַּרְכָּם שֶׁל זֶרַע יִשְׂרָאֵל וְלִבָּם הַנָּכוֹן. אֲבָל הָעוֹבְדֵי כּוֹכָבִים עַרְלֵי לֵב אֵינָן כֵּן אֶלָּא (וְעֶבְרָתָן) [וְעֶבְרָתוֹ] שְׁמָרָה נֶצַח. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר עַל הַגִּבְעוֹנִים לְפִי שֶׁלֹּא מָחֲלוּ וְלֹא נִתְפַּיְּסוּ וְהַגִּבְעֹנִים לֹא מִבְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל הֵמָּה:

It is forbidden for a person to be ill-natured and unforgiving, for one must be easily appeased but not give in easily to wrath; and when a sinner implores you for pardon, you should grant the sinner pardon wholeheartedly and soulfully. Even if one persecuted you and sinned against you exceedingly, you should not be vengeful and grudge-bearing, for such is the path of the seed of Israel and of their excellent heart. Only idolaters are not so, they are of uncircumcised heart, and their wrath is forever; and, because the Gibonites were unforgiving and would not accept any appeasement, it is said of them: "Now the Gibonites were not of the children of Israel" (II. Samuel, 21.2).

~ What is the connection between accepting an apology and being Jewish?

~ Is this always true?

הַחוֹטֵא לַחֲבֵרוֹ וּמֵת חֲבֵרוֹ קֹדֶם שֶׁיְּבַקֵּשׁ מְחִילָה מֵבִיא עֲשָׂרָה בְּנֵי אָדָם וּמַעֲמִידָן עַל קִבְרוֹ וְיֹאמַר בִּפְנֵיהֶם חָטָאתִי לַה' אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְלִפְלוֹנִי זֶה שֶׁכָּךְ וְכָךְ עָשִׂיתִי לוֹ. וְאִם הָיָה חַיָּב לוֹ מָמוֹן יַחֲזִירוֹ לַיּוֹרְשִׁים. לֹא הָיָה יוֹדֵעַ לוֹ יוֹרְשִׁין יַנִּיחֶנּוּ בְּבֵית דִּין וְיִתְוַדֶּה:

One who committed a sin against a friend, and the friend died before he asked his forgiveness, should bring ten adults at the grave and say: "I have sinned against the Ad-nai God of Israel and against this person (naming the person clearly), and I have done against her/him thus and such (naming the sins clearly). If one was indebted to the deceased the money should be returned to the heirs; if one did not know where or who the heirs are, one should leave the amount with a rabbinic tribunal, and after this say the confession.

~ Why is this case different?

~ Why 10 people?

~ Why do you think there is an order here: you first give the money and then get ten people to listen to you at the grave?

~ Do you think someone who died can forgive?

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