Seek Discomfort

Of the six life lessons quoted in the video and which one speaks to you the most and why? Pick one example from your own life when you learned one of the lessons below and how that impacts your outlook in life now.

It's never too late to start
Action is the antidote to despair
Joy grows when it is shared
One yes can change your life
A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet
On the other side of fear hides ultimate bliss

בראשית ל״ב:כ״ד-ל״ב

(כד) וַיִּקָּחֵ֔ם וַיַּֽעֲבִרֵ֖ם אֶת־הַנָּ֑חַל וַֽיַּעֲבֵ֖ר אֶת־אֲשֶׁר־לוֹ׃ (כה) וַיִּוָּתֵ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַיֵּאָבֵ֥ק אִישׁ֙ עִמּ֔וֹ עַ֖ד עֲל֥וֹת הַשָּֽׁחַר׃ (כו) וַיַּ֗רְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יָכֹל֙ ל֔וֹ וַיִּגַּ֖ע בְּכַף־יְרֵכ֑וֹ וַתֵּ֙קַע֙ כַּף־יֶ֣רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּהֵֽאָבְק֖וֹ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (כז)

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שַׁלְּחֵ֔נִי כִּ֥י עָלָ֖ה הַשָּׁ֑חַר וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲשַֽׁלֵּחֲךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־בֵּרַכְתָּֽנִי׃ (כח) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֵלָ֖יו מַה־שְּׁמֶ֑ךָ וַיֹּ֖אמֶר יַעֲקֹֽב׃ (כט)

וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃ (ל) וַיִּשְׁאַ֣ל יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַגִּֽידָה־נָּ֣א שְׁמֶ֔ךָ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה תִּשְׁאַ֣ל לִשְׁמִ֑י וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ אֹת֖וֹ שָֽׁם׃ (לא) וַיִּקְרָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב שֵׁ֥ם הַמָּק֖וֹם פְּנִיאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־רָאִ֤יתִי אֱלֹהִים֙ פָּנִ֣ים אֶל־פָּנִ֔ים וַתִּנָּצֵ֖ל נַפְשִֽׁי׃ (לב) וַיִּֽזְרַֽח־ל֣וֹ הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר עָבַ֖ר אֶת־פְּנוּאֵ֑ל וְה֥וּא צֹלֵ֖עַ עַל־יְרֵכֽוֹ׃

Genesis 32:24-32

(24) After taking them across the stream, he sent across all his possessions. (25) Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. (26) When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. (27) Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.”

But he [the angel] answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” (28) Said the other, “What is your name?” He replied, “Jacob.”

(29) Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.” (30) Jacob asked, “Pray tell me your name.” But he said, “You must not ask my name!” And he took leave of him there. (31) So Jacob named the place Peniel, meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” (32) The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping on his hip.

עֵשָׂ֔ו == יעקב

Rabbi Mimi Feigelson

(Mashpiah Ruchanit (spiritual mentor) of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles)

We are often in a rush to get out of uncomfortable situations. We want to solve problems as quickly as we can so that we need not dwell on them. But it appears that bracketing our stay in Mitzrayim with the word 'Mitzrayim' functions as an invitation to actually sit in this space. It seems that the only way out of this constricted state of being is by going through it, not by circumventing it! We can't overcome limitations that we've encountered unless we are willing to own our part in the situation: to be able to name and face our pain, to be able to claim our suffering, to be able to hold our loss. It is only then, when we see ourselves in the light of our darkness that we can truly leave it behind as we walk towards new horizons. We are being asked to dwell in our pain and discomfort so that we will be able to indeed move forward. Without this process, it would appear that we will never be free from that which enslaved us - we would carry it with us, creating new Mitzrayims wherever we journeyed next. We won't be able to truly leave it behind us. We need to be able to name the emotion so that we can find a remedy to heal it.

Do you agree/disagree with Rabbi Feigelson's premise that we "often rush to get out of uncomfortable situations"? Why or why not?
Can you give an example from your own life when you rushed to get out of a bad situation/mental state it backfired? When you "rushed" and it was the right choice?
Have you ever dwelled in an uncomfortable situation that you to truly leave your pain behind?

What are Middot?

https://jewishcamp.org/making-mensches/

Our faith tradition prides itself on the values or middot that we hold dear and use as our guideposts along life's path. In times of darkness we look to the value or characteristic of ometz or ometz lev, which literally means “strength” or “heart-strength.” Even if we think of ourselves as fearful, afraid or anxious, our tradition teaches that we all have the ability to to access the quality of ometz lev to pull ourselves out of the dark and narrow places.

Does hardship give us Courage?

מורה נבוכים, חלק ג' ל״ב:ב׳

ו וכמו שהיה מחכמת האלוה להסב אותם במדבר עד שילמדו גבורה

Guide for the Perplexed, Part 3 32:2

It was the result of God's wisdom that the Israelites were led about in the wilderness until they acquired courage.

Do you agree with the sources, does hardship give you courage?
What are some difficult things you have been through, and how did they change your outlook?
What is the danger in this philosophy?

Is Strength and Courage the same thing?

יהושע א׳:ט׳

(ט) הֲל֤וֹא צִוִּיתִ֙יךָ֙ חֲזַ֣ק וֶאֱמָ֔ץ אַֽל־תַּעֲרֹ֖ץ וְאַל־תֵּחָ֑ת כִּ֤י עִמְּךָ֙ יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּכֹ֖ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר תֵּלֵֽךְ׃ (פ)

Joshua 1:9

(9) “I charge you: Be strong and resolute; do not be terrified or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

In both of these sources "strength" and "courage" seem to be connected? What is the relationship between the two characteristics?
In Joshua, we are told that God is with us. How might this offer one who is afraid some comfort? What does this look like today? Where do you seek God for strength and courage?

The Courage to Name our Fears

Some commentators ask, "Why did the Israelites need to stay and witness the Plagues? Why couldn't they be taken out first?" Given Rabbi Mimi's commentary - why was that important?
The Israelites wandered for 40 years in the desert before God gave them entrance into the promised land, does this commentary above help you understand why?
How do we live in our "Mitzrayim" now? How is that courageous and how can it be healing?

שני לוחות הברית, תורה שבכתב, תולדות, תורה אור מ״ג

והנה יש בפסוק הזה י' תיבות נגד י' דברות, ויש בעשרת הדברות עקב תיבות כמנין עקב, כך כתב בעל הטורים. הרי מרומז יעקב בעקב, כי י' דברות הם עקב זהו שם יעקב. וכי תאמר בלבבך א"כ היה די לו בקריאת שם עקב. דע כי זה רמוז במה שכתוב (בראשית כה, כו) וידו אוחזת בעקב עשו, כי עקב יעקב הוא מצד הקדושה הוא הסוף והתכלית האמתי וכמו שפירשתי, אבל עקב עשו הוא מצד הנחש הנושף, עקב שהוא סוף וקץ הימים כמו שכתבתי לעיל (איוב כח, ג) קץ שם לחושך. וכתב הזוהר, הוא ישופך ראש ואתה תשופנו עקב (בראשית ג, טו), על כן נקרא שמו ראש הוא ראש מיעקב, דהיינו הי' שהיא עשרת הדברות בזה הוא ישופך ראש. אבל והיה כאשר תריד ויסתלק היו"ד, אתה תשופנו עקב. על כן נקרא שמו יעקב, בשביל עקב שהוא מסטרא דשמאלא המקטרג כדי שלא יתעורר, צריך לחבר היו"ד ולהיותו נקרא יעקב. וזהו סוד וידו אוחזת בעקב עשו, יד"ו אותיות יוד, רומז לחיבור י' עם עקב וזהו שם יעקב. ומכח שם יעקב זכה לשם ישראל לאחר הזיכוך שנתייסר בצרת עשו וחרדתו, ושם ישראל הוא רום מעלה ממעלת בני עליה. ונקרא ישראל כי שרית עם אלהים (שם לב, כט) ואונקלוס תרגום, ארי רב את קדם ה':

Shenei Luchot HaBerit, Torah Shebikhtav, Toldot, Torah Ohr 43

The verse (26,5) we have just quoted contains ten words corresponding to the Ten Commandments. When you examine the wording of the Ten Commandments you will find that it contains 172 words, the same as the numerical value of the word עקב, as pointed out by Baal HaTurim. You may ask: If this is so why was יעקב not called עקב? The answer is already alluded to when we read about Jacob's birth, when he is described as holding on to עקב עשו, the heel of Esau (25,26). The last three letters in Jacob's name are an indication that the sanctity, holiness expressed by the letter י in his name will prevail in the world only at the end of history, at the עקב, or סוף. The heel of Esau, however, the one that Jacob held on to, is symbolic of the serpent which hisses: it is the end of life, signifies darkness and death, as we have explained earlier. When the enmity that exists between the serpent and man is described in the Torah in Genesis 3,15: הוא ישופך ראש ואתה תשופנו עקב, "He (man) will strike at your head, and you (the snake) will strike at his heel," the Zohar writes on this verse that the word ראש refers to the first letter in the name יעקב, an allusion to the Ten Commandments. If Jacob observes the Ten Commandments, then he can successfully strike at the ראש, the head of the serpent and all that the serpent represents; but והיה כאשר תריד (Genesis 27,40) "when you will backslide in your service of G–d," then you (the snake) will strike at עקב, the part of the name יעקב when detached from the י and all that this letter stands for." If Jacob had not had the letter י in his name his name would have been associated only with elements derived from the סטרא אחרא, the negative side of the diagram of the emanations. When the Torah reports that וידו אוחזת, that "his hand was holding on to," the letters in the word for "his hand,” i.e. ידו, are the same as the letter יוד. The potential contained in the name יעקב, enabled Jacob to become ישראל, a name that was accorded to Jacob only after his successful refinement through harassment at the hands of Esau. The name ישראל is the pinnacle that the spiritually most refined people can achieve. It indicates that he had been able to contend with Heavenly forces and to prevail (Genesis 32,29). Onkelos translates this verse: "You have fought before G–d with man and have succeeded."