Dear SBHC,
While Shmerel was at work yesterday, I lay down for a short nap, leaving my eight-year-old son, Zundel, in charge of his siblings. Zundel is a precious child. He is intelligent, loving, imaginative, and deeply creative. He is also a man of action. While these traits predict a bright future for Zundel, at the present moment they are the cause of a mountain of home maintenance bills, blood pressure medication, and the frequent restocking of a diverse set of tools.
Our kitchen was messy. This is a rare occurrence, but even angels get overwhelmed. While I was sleeping Zundel sought to make me a ‘surprise.’ He gathered his siblings and exhorted them to clean the house. They divvied up the work, traded the necessary blows and insults, and proceeded to lift the onerous burden of housework from my skinny, stooped shoulders.
Before long the living room was spotless -- under the couch is an infinite resource for storage. Work on the kitchen began in earnest. The floor was mopped and then swept, and then walked on. Grease and grime from the counters were spread in an even layer over the cabinets and walls, and any stray garbage deposited atop the closed garbage can.
I woke up to my children gathered around my bed with beatific smiles on their faces. “Mommy we have a surprise for you! We cleaned the whole house!” Even in my groggy state, a dark premonition began to form. “That’s amazing!” “We even did the dishes” said Zundel modestly. The premonition blossomed into a full-blown panic. “Wow sweety, that’s amazing! How did you do that?” “I put all the dishes into the dishwasher, put in the right soap, and pressed the sanitize button to make sure that it was super clean.” “All the dishes?” I asked weakly. “Yes! I fit all the dishes from both sinks in!”
Dear friends, please help me! Have all my dairy and meat dishes become non-kosher?
Yours truly,
Zlata