Understanding the Kaddish

Five Kinds of Kaddish

Mourner's Kaddish (Kaddish Yatom), traditionally said by mourners––that is, those who have lost a parent during the previous eleven months or a child, sibling, or spuce during the last thirty days––and by those observing the anniversary of the death of those close relatives. (In many contemporary communities, the full ocngregation says it in support of the mourners, and in memory of the six million Jews who perished during the Holocaust, assuming that at least one died on any given Day.) The mourners Kaddish omits lines 7 and 8 of the Full Kaddish that asks God to answer our prayers, because presumably, God did not grant the mourner's prayers that the relative recover and live).

Full Kaddish (Kaddish Shalem), is said upon the conclusion of the main section a prayer unit, typically the one that includes Shemoneh Esrei. This form of Kaddish is the only one that includes the phrase “titkabeil tzlot’hon u’va’us’hon d’chol beit Yisrael” – “accept the prayer and the supplication of the entire Jewish people.” Accordingly, it is sometimes referred to as “Kaddish Titkabeil.” This Kaddish may be recited immediatly after the Shmoneh Esreh

Half Kaddish (Chatzi Kaddish), which omits the last two sentences of Mourner's Kaddish, and consists of only the first two paragraphs and the response ("May his great name be blessed forever and for all eternity"

Rabbi's Kaddish (Kaddish D'Rabbanan), which inserts a paragraph asking god's blessing on those who teach and study Torah

Burial Kaddish, is recited on two special occasions: when completing a tractate of Talmud or an order of Mishna, and at a funeral. These two occasions are radically different, but there is something in common. The theme of this Kaddish is that, in the merit of Torah study, the world will be renewed, including the eventual revival of the dead. Therefore, it is said for both a siyum (recognizing as it does the rewards of Torah study) and a funeral (as it contains within it the consolation that those who have passed on will someday return to us). All five require the presence of a minyan

Questions We will Explore:

• Why was this prayer designated by Jews to memorialize the dead?
• Why doesn't it include anything about death?
• What is the origin of the phrases?
• Why do we recite it in Aramaic?
• Who traditionally recites the Mourner's Kaddish? For how long?
• What is the purpose of reciting this prayer?
• What are different Kaddish traditions?
• Can you say Kaddish for a non-Jew?

What is the origin of the Kaddish?

Most likely, over the years different customs arose and became formalized, adding context and substance around this standard congregational response until it reached the form we know as "Kaddish".

The oldest version of the Kaddish is that found in the prayer book of Rav Amram Gaon of the 9^th century—but that doesn't tell us much, either, since we have no knowledge of any Jewish prayer book written before that. People back then didn't write down things that were common custom and well known to all, like well-known prayers and everyday rituals. They knew them by memory and saw no need to record them. After all, parchment was an expensive commodity.

The earliest text that makes a connection between the prayers of a child and and the plight of the deceased is the circa 3^rd century midrashic work, Tanna D'beiEliyahu.

When did it become customary for an orphan or mourner to say the Kaddish?

The earliest mention we know of is in the 12^th century work, "Sefer HaRokeach" of Rabbi Elazar of Germany. 13^th century "Ohr Zarua" of Rabbi Yitzchaak ben Moshe of Vienna mentions that in Germany and the Slavic Lands (which he calls "Canaan") they have this custom, but in France they did not. And in the 11^thcentury "Vitry Machzor" composed by students of Rashi (Rabbi ShlomoYitzchaki) in France, there is also no mention of it.

***Whatever the history is, reciting the Mourners' Kaddish became a universal custom among Jews in every land. The rule of thumb is that when the Jewish People as a whole agree upon a single custom (quite a miracle in itself), that custom becomes a law just as precious and just as stringent as one given to Moses by G_d at Sinai--and even more so.***

How Often Should You Recite the Kaddish?

Kaddish is recited every day during the morning, afternoon, and evening services. Ideally, one should attend every service, but if one cannot do so, it is desirable to attend at least one of the three daily services. In the observance of Kaddish, as in most areas of Jewish life, something is better than nothing. If it is impossible to attend a daily service, then one should at least say the Kaddish on the Sabbath.

How Long Should You Recite the Kaddish?

In the case of the death of a sibling, a child, or a spouse, Kaddish is recited for one month; when a parent dies, it is recited for 11 months. The reason the Kaddish is said for 11 months, although the full mourning period lasts for 12, has to do with folklore. According to a statement in the Talmud, when the most wicked people die, they are consigned to hell for a maximum of 12 months. Since recitation of the Kaddish is believed to help elevate the soul of the dead (see Sanhedrin 104a), reciting it for a full year would imply that one’s parent is one of those wicked people sentenced to a full year in hell; hence, the Kaddish is recited for only 11 months.

Why doesn’t it mention death?

Although Kaddish does not mention death, it is an expression of acceptance of Divine judgment and righteousness at a time when a person may easily become bitter and reject God, Schoenberg says. Another explanation is that by sanctifying God’s name in public, the mourners increase the merit of the deceased person.

Kaddish must always be said in the presence of a quorum (minyan) of 10 adults. The minyan is a form of community support for the mourners and an unspoken rule against grieving in isolation, Landes said.

Kaddish is a way in which children can continue to show respect and concern for their parents even after they have died, according to rabbinic teaching, Landes said

Different Kaddish Traditions: Should I stand?

When the mourner’s Kaddish is said at the end of a worship service, Reform Jews stand in memory of Hitler’s victims.

Conservative keep the older tradition where only the mourners rise. Standing and being recognized as a mourner gives people who don’t know about the loss a chance to say a kind word. The Orthodox remain standing if they are already standing.

Should you say Kaddish for a non-Jew

According to Rabbi Soloveitchik, we say Kaddish in particular to help reconcile personal tragedy with that big picture, to help the mourner work their way out of their personal dungeon of despair. However, the traditional text for Yizkor, the memorial prayer said on holidays, doesn't work that smoothly for non-Jews, as we ask G-d to bind the soul with those of their ancestors Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. However, it would be a minor modification, and not in violation of halakhah (Jewish law) to coin a similar one for non-Jews (and depending on the religion of the departed, the traditional wording might still work).

The question comes to him in the following way: A man is converted to Judaism. His father is not converted to Judaism. Then the father dies. The son, being a Jew, wants to say Kaddish for his Gentile father. May he do so? Aaron Walkin, upon the basis of most of the material cited above, decides that he certainly may. He argues a fortiori, if a son may say Kaddish for an apostate who willfully deserted Judaism, certainly a son may say Kaddish for a man who is naturally following the religion in which he was brought up. Then he adds that if it would not seem too surprising to say so, he would even express the opinion that not only may this son say Kaddish, but actually he must say Kaddish.

Mystical Understanding of the Purpose of Kaddish

Just when His great masterpiece of heaven and earth was finally up and running, G_d realized there was something missing: The autograph. Without an autograph, the creatures of this world might take life, beauty, pleasure and all the other amenities of existence for granted. They could fail to take care of the home made for them, even turning reckless and destructive. So He left the autograph up to us. Our job is to make it recognizable that this is actually the ultimate piece of art, crafted by the ultimate of all artists, the Master Designer/Architect/Engineer of all things. In Hebrew, we call this a Kiddush Hashem—roughly translated as Sanctification of The Name (English is kind of clumsy with these things). How do we make a Kiddush Hashem? Well, as you may have guessed from the sound of the words, making "kiddush" on wine on Friday night as Shabbat enters is one great way. So is any act that demonstrates a higher purpose and meaning to life, whether that be a public prayer, an act of charity or just everyday acting like a mentsch. Of the prayer-forms of Kiddush Hashem, the most extreme example is the Kaddish. No other words we say in all our prayers are attributed the same level of sanctity.

The Association Between Kaddish and the Person Who Passed Away

The Legend of Rabbi Akiva (As told by various 10th-14th Century Midrashim)

Rabbi Akiva once saw (what he thought was) a man struggling with a heavy burden on his shoulders and bemoaning his lot in (what Rabbi Akiva thought was) life. Concerned that this might be an overworked slave deserving to be freed, Rabbi Akiva asked the man what his story was. The oppressed laborer replied that he was the soul of a person who committed every conceivable sin and that if he stopped to talk, he’d get in even more trouble.

The punishment of this particular sinner was to gather wood, which was used to burn him every day. Rabbi Akiva asked if there was any way to free this soul and the deceased replied that the only way was if he had a son who would stand in front of the congregation and say “Barchu et Adonai hamevorah” or “Yitgadal v’yitkadash…,” after which the congregation would reply, “Baruch Adonai hamevorah l’olam voed” or “Yehei shmei rabbah…,” respectively. (These are the prayers of Barchu and Kaddish, in which the leader of the service calls upon the congregation to praise God, which they then do.)

Finally, Rabbi Akiva asked the man who had survived him; the spirit replied that his wife had been pregnant when he died. Rabbi Akiva recorded the name of the deceased, the man’s wife, and his hometown so that he might investigate the matter.

Hurrying to the man’s city, Rabbi Akiva discovered that the deceased was particularly reviled by the townspeople. He had been a corrupt tax collector who took bribes from the rich and oppressed the poor. Among his more notorious deeds, the man had violated a betrothed girl on Yom Kippur! Rabbi Akiva located the widow, who had given birth to a son. So despised was her husband that no one had even circumcised the child. Rabbi Akiva took care of this grievous omission and, when the child was old enough, he taught him Torah and how to daven in shul, including the prayers the man had specified.

As soon as the boy recited the appropriate prayers, his father’s soul was relieved of its harsh punishments. The man’s spirit re-appeared to Rabbi Akiva in a dream to thank the scholar for saving him from the tortures of Gehinnom.

A mourner says Kaddish to help along the soul of the deceased in its journey upwards.

We may look as though we are each traveling our own road, but according to Jewish tradition, we are very tied to one another. Children, especially, are.

Rabbi Isaac Luria, the Ari, the greatest of the Kabbalists, described the family tree as a great river. Parents are upstream, children downstream. Whatever occurs upstream must flow downstream. And so, children inherit the unresolved baggage of their parents.

If so, the Ari tells us, it must be that children are empowered to repair their parents' arm of the river. Otherwise, the world would be stuck in a no-win situation—you receive all the problems from upstream without any recourse to repair them at their source.

And so every child is empowered to carry his parents higher than the parents can carry themselves. As the sages of the Talmud described the situation, "A parent can bring a child into this world, but a child can bring a parent into the world to come."

A parent cannot guarantee a child a place in the world to come. A child, however, can bring the soul of his parents into their proper resting place after they have left this world.

How does the child do that? As the parent's soul leaves this world, everything about that soul is taken into account. What's most important, however, is what this soul has left behind. When a child of that parent is doing whatever he or she can to bring more light and holiness into this world, the soul is able to climb higher, despite whatever heavy baggage may be holding it back.

Why is Kaddish recited in Aramaic?