#1 - Hitlamdut

ByLoren Berman

10-Part Mussar Series with Loren Berman

What is Hitlamdut?

Rabbi Shela Peltz Weinberg

“Cultivating awareness, sometimes called curiosity, investigation or beginner's mind.”

Rabbi David Jaffe

Hitlamdut is the practice of cultivating a stance of non-judgmental curiosity towards our experiences, and making what we learn deeply impact our lives. The mitlamed/et adopts the stance of a learner, constantly asking, “what is happening right now? How can I learn from this and how does this relate to my life?” One of the dangers of Mussar is that the practitioner can become overly judgmental of herself and others who are not working as actively on self-improvement. Adopting a stance of learner towards one’s own character development softens this judgment and turns all our practice into growth opportunities.

שמחה זיסל מקלם, חכמה ומוסר, ח״ב סי׳ קיג

כל אדם שיש לו חוש באיזה דבר ירגיש מאוד כשיראה דבר מה מזה הענין. למשל: חייט שרואה אדם יביט תיכף על בגדיו, סנדלר - על מנעליו של פלוני, תופר כובעים - על כובעו של פלוני, וכן סוחר במסהרו ירגיש מאוד בדיבור או מעשה שיצא לא ממנו תועלת למסחרו, משא״כ איש אחר לא ישמע ולא יראה הנ״ל, כי לבו אין מסור לבקש ולחקור דברים מזה, כי אין לו חפץ בהם. (ולכן בעבודת השי״ת, מי שיש לו יראת אלוקים, למשל, לשמור את הדברים הפשוטים המבוארים השו״ע, יתלמד מזולתו כשרואה אותם אצלו, משא״כ בדברים אשר לא הורגל בהם - לא ירגיש במעשה זולתו, כמו אהבת הבריות, גמ״ח במעשה ודיבור, נושא בעול עם חברו, למנוע היזק מרבים בהתחכמות -) כל זה אם הוא אין לו הרגש באלה לא יבין להתלמד מזולתו. אם כן הלומד לכל אדם הריהו סוחר גדול, מסחרו בכל משלה, על כן יבין להתלמד מזולתו, ולכן נקרא אדם

Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, Founder of Kelm Yeshiva

Every person that has a special feeling for a certain endeavor will be extremely sensitive when she sees any little thing having to do with that endeavor. For example: When a tailor meets someone he will immediately look at his clothes, the shoemaker –at the shoes, the milliner –at the hat. Similarly a merchant will be very sensitive to any words or actions that will have an impact on his merchandise. Another type of person would not see or hear any of these things because her heart is not given to inquire and investigate anything from these matters because he has no desire for them…all of this, if one is not engaged in such activities will not notice them when performed by others. If this is the case, then one who “learns from every person,” behold, this is a great “merchant,” she trades in everything and thus he understands the necessity to learn from the other and thus is called "Wise."

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, Alei Shur volume II

There is no place for arrogance in hitlamdut. If I do some action well, behold, I have not done anything to be proud of, because I am only practicing (mitlamed)! And when I am practicing (mitlamed), I recognize that the action was not done perfectly.

Key Elements of Hitlamdut:

Mindful observation of ourselves (with accept, and change if necessary)
Mindful observation of those around us
Lifelong Learning and Growth Mindset
Letting what we learn actually impact our feelings and thoughts
Always "in training;" Avoid arrogance and self-deprecation

1. A large part of hitlamdut is seeing the familiar as if it were new. Think about something mundane that you do on a regular basis - brushing your teeth, checking Facebook, crossing the street. How do you do that? For example, how hard do I grip my toothbrush? How softly am I brushing? Do my teeth feel cleaner?

*What can I learn from this action?

עירובין ק׳ ב:כ״ח-כ״ט

דְּאָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא, מַאי דִּכְתִיב: ״מַלְּפֵנוּ מִבַּהֲמוֹת אָרֶץ וּמֵעוֹף הַשָּׁמַיִם יְחַכְּמֵנוּ״. ״מַלְּפֵנוּ מִבַּהֲמוֹת״ — זוֹ פְּרֵידָה, שֶׁכּוֹרַעַת וּמַשְׁתֶּנֶת מַיִם. ״וּמֵעוֹף הַשָּׁמַיִם יְחַכְּמֵנוּ״ — זֶה תַּרְנְגוֹל, שֶׁמְּפַיֵּיס וְאַחַר כָּךְ בּוֹעֵל. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אִילְמָלֵא לֹא נִיתְּנָה תּוֹרָה, הָיִינוּ לְמֵידִין צְנִיעוּת מֵחָתוּל, וְגָזֵל מִנְּמָלָה, וַעֲרָיוֹת מִיּוֹנָה. דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ מִתַּרְנְגוֹל — שֶׁמְּפַיֵּיס וְאַחַר כָּךְ בּוֹעֵל.

Eruvin 100b:28-29

As Rabbi Ḥiyya said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Who teaches us by the beasts of the earth, and makes us wiser by the birds of the sky” (Job 35:11)? He explains: “Who teaches us by the beasts of the earth”; this is the female mule, which crouches and urinates and from which we learn modesty. “And makes us wiser by the birds of the sky”; this is the rooster, which first cajoles the hen and then mates with it. Similarly, Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Even if the Torah had not been given, we would nonetheless have learned modesty from the cat, which covers its excrement, and that stealing is objectionable from the ant, which does not take grain from another ant, and forbidden relations from the dove, which is faithful to its partner, and proper relations from the rooster, which first appeases the hen and then mates with it.

ברטנורא על משנה אבות ד׳:א׳:ג׳

הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם. וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא קָטָן מִמֶּנּוּ. שֶׁכֵּיוָן שֶׁאֵינוֹ חָס עַל כְּבוֹדוֹ וְלוֹמֵד מִן הַקְּטַנִּים, נִכָּרִים הַדְּבָרִים שֶׁחָכְמָתוֹ הוּא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם וְלֹא לְהִתְיַהֵר וּלְהִתְפָּאֵר בָּהּ:

Bartenura on Pirkei Avot 4:1:3

"He who learns from all men": And even though [that person that he learns from] is lesser than he. As since he is not concerned about his honor and learns from the lesser ones, [it shows] that his wisdom is for the sake of Heaven and not to boast and revel in.

סוטה ב׳ א:ד׳-ה׳

גמ׳ מכדי תנא מנזיר סליק מאי תנא דקא תנא סוטה כדרבי דתניא רבי אומר למה נסמכה פרשת נזיר לפרשת סוטה לומר לך שכל הרואה סוטה בקלקולה יזיר עצמו מן היין

Sotah 2a:4-5

GEMARA: The Gemara questions the placement of this tractate within the mishnaic order of Nashim. Now, the tanna arose from tractate Nazir, which is the tractate preceding Sota in the order of the Mishna. What did he teach in Nazir that required that he teach tractate Sota immediately afterward, as at first glance there seems to be no connection between this tractate and Nazir? The Gemara answers: This was done in accordance with the statement of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi with regard to the sequence of passages in the Torah, as it is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi says: Why is the portion of a nazirite (Numbers, chapter 6) placed adjacent to the portion of a sota (Numbers, chapter 5)? This was done to tell you that anyone who sees a sota in her disgrace as she undergoes the rite of the bitter water should renounce wine, as wine is one of the causes of sexual transgression, as it loosens inhibitions. For the same reason that the Torah teaches these passages one after the other, Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged these tractates one after the other.

https://www.aishdas.org/asp/internalizing-torah

http://evolve.reconstructingjudaism.org/the-pandemic-as-teacher

https://images.shulcloud.com/428/uploads/hitlamdut.pdf

http://parshathoughtsmore.blogspot.com/2016/06/parashat-naso-and-hitlamdut-learning.html

https://cdn.website-editor.net/d12bd19c0e854639a7343cd5f99a149c/files/uploaded/M%2520Margolius%2520Becoming%2520a%2520Mensch%2520Through%2520Tikkun%2520Middot%2520Practice.pdf

https://ejewishphilanthropy.com/creativity-innovation-in-jewish-learning-practice/

https://hebrewcollege.edu/blog/sound-and-silence/