What’s the connection between “rising before the aged”, and “showing deference to the old”? How are these connected to living a holy life?
What is your reaction to the combination of words from the Torah and a public bus?
Rabbi Joshua ben Levi further advised: And be careful to continue to respect an elder who has forgotten their Torah knowledge due to circumstances beyond their control. Even though they are no longer a Torah scholar, they must still be respected for the Torah that they once possessed. As we say: Both the tablets of the Covenant and the broken tablets are placed in the Ark of the Covenant in the Temple. Even though the first tablets were broken, their sanctity obligates one not to treat them with contempt. An elder who forgot the Torah knowledge they once possessed is likened to these broken tablets.
How is this relevant to how seniors with Alzheimers Disease should be treated?
“A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants and dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection and care for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the true gold mines of a culture.”
― Abraham Joshua Heschel The Insecurity of Freedom: Essays on Human Existence (New York: Macmillan, 1967), p.72.
How do you think our society is doing on how it treats the elderly? Why?
רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַר יְהוּדָה אִישׁ כְּפַר הַבַּבְלִי אוֹמֵר, הַלּוֹמֵד מִן הַקְּטַנִּים לְמַה הוּא דוֹמֶה, לְאֹכֵל עֲנָבִים קֵהוֹת וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן מִגִּתּוֹ. וְהַלּוֹמֵד מִן הַזְּקֵנִים לְמַה הוּא דוֹמֶה, לְאֹכֵל עֲנָבִים בְּשֵׁלוֹת וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן יָשָׁן. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּסְתַּכֵּל בַּקַּנְקַן, אֶלָּא בְמַה שֶּׁיֶּשׁ בּוֹ.
Rabbi Yose bar Yehuda, man of Kfar HaBavli, says: One who learns from young ones is compared to what? To one who eats unripe grapes and drinks wine from its press. And one who learns from elders is compared to what? To one who eats ripe grapes and drinks aged wine. Rabbi [Judah] says: Do not look at the jug but rather at what is in it.
Why might the experience of learning from the elderly be like eating ripe grapes?
How is the saying “Don’t look at the jug but rather at what it contains” relevant to thinking about senior citizens?
כָּל הַמְקַבֵּל פְּנֵי זָקֵן כְּאִלּוּ מְקַבֵּל פְּנֵי שְׁכִינָה,
One should greet an elderly person as one greets the Shekhinah
How would you do this, practically speaking?
(7) Remember the days of old, consider the years of ages past; ask your parent, they will inform you, your elders, they will tell you:
Why is it important to remember the past, and how can older members of our community or family help us do this?
(9) Do not cast me off in old age; when my strength fails, do not abandon me!
In what ways are older people "cast off" from their families and/or society?
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן … כִּיבּוּד מַאֲכִיל וּמַשְׁקֶה מַלְבִּישׁ וּמְכַסֶּה מַכְנִיס וּמוֹצִיא
The Sages taught... What is considered honor? They give their parent food and drink, dress and cover them, and bring them in and take them out for all their household needs.
In this day and age, what would it look like for a child to honor their parents? What about for a grown-up with elderly parents?
The son and daughter-in- law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather, ” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” Therefore, the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
According to Jewish storyteller Peninah Schram in The Hungry Clothes, "One of the best-known teaching tales in world folklore, this story exists in many versions and in many other cultures. [My] adaptation comes from Moses Gaster's "The Exempla of the Rabbis". The Israel Folktale Archives also contain two versions: an Iraqi take from Eliezer Marcus's "Min Ha-Mabua" (1966) and a story from Buczacz in Aliza Shenhar's book Honor Your Mother (1969). In another version of this story, the grandfather is given a half blanket for warmth instead of a wooden bowl to eat from."