Broken Trust: The Aftermath of Trauma (An Exploration of the Lives of Dina, Michal & Tamar)

(20) Leah said, “God has given me a choice gift; this time my husband will exalt me, for I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.(21)Last, she bore him a daughter, and named her Dinah.

(1) Now Dinah, the daughter whom Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land.

(1) בת לאה THE DAUGHTER OF LEAH — so Scripture calls her why not the daughter of Jacob? But just because she “went out” she is called Leah’s daughter, since she, too, was fond “of going out” (Genesis Rabbah 80:1), as it is said (30:16) “and Leah went out to meet him”. With an allusion to her they formulated the proverb: “Like mother, like daughter”.

Yosi said, “There is no cow that gores until its daughter is a kicker, no daughter prostitutes herself unless her mother has. Reish Lakish and Rabbi Yehuda, “Are you calling Leah our Matriarch a prostitute?!?” Yosi replied to them, “‘Leah went out to meet him [Yaakov]…’ and Leah went out dressed like a prostitute, therefore Dinah also went out dressed like a prostitute.”

JOSEPH AND HIS BRETHREN
"OR went into the house and leaned his hand on the wall, and the serpent bit him" (Amos 5:19). When Jacob went into his house in the land of Canaan the serpent bit him. || And who was the serpent? This was Shechem, the son of Chamor. Because the daughter of Jacob was abiding in the tents, and she did not go into the street; what did Shechem, the son of Chamor, do? He brought dancing girls who were (also) playing on pipes in the streets. Dinah went forth to see those girls who were making merry; and he seized her, and he slept with her [...]

To see the daughters of the land: To see the women and the manner of their dress (fashion) like the way of young women.

(2) Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, chief of the country, saw her, and took her and lay with her and afflicted her.(3) And his soul clung to Dina daughter of Jacob and he loved the maiden, so he spoke to the maiden tenderly [literally: he spoke to her heart].(4) So Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as a wife.”

(2)Take Aaron along with his sons, and the vestments, the anointing oil, the bull of sin offering, the two rams, and the basket of unleavened bread;

(2) קח את אהרן means win him over with fine words and draw him on (cf. Rashi on Exodus 14:6) (Sifra, Tzav, Mechilta d'Miluim 1 2)).

(1) Now Korah, son of Izhar son of Kohath son of Levi, took, along with Dathan and Abiram sons of Eliab, and On son of Peleth—descendants of Reuben—

(2) ויקח קרח lit., AND KORAH TOOK — [...] Another explanation of ויקח קרח is: he attracted (won over) the chiefs of the Sanhedrin amongst them (the people) by fine words. The word is used here in a figurative sense just as in. (Leviticus 8:2) “Take (קח) Aaron”; (Hosea 14:3) “Take (קחו) words with you” (Midrash Tanchuma, Korach 1).

(18) And the LORD answered Moses, “Take Joshua son of Nun, a man in whom there is spirit, and lay your hand upon him.

(1) קח לך TAKE TO THEE [JOSHUA] — take him through fine words, saying,“Fortunate are you that you have merited to lead the children of the Omnipresent!” (cf. Sifrei Bamidbar 92 on 11:16).

(18) His brothers went to him themselves, flung themselves before him, and said, “We are prepared to be your slaves.”(19) But Joseph said to them, “Have no fear! Am I a substitute for God?(20) Besides, although you intended me harm, God intended it for good, so as to bring about the present result—the survival of many people.(21) And so, fear not. I will sustain you and your children.” Thus he reassured them, speaking tenderly [literally: to their hearts].

(6) He [King Hezekiah] appointed battle officers over the people; then, gathering them to him in the square of the city gate, he spoke to their hearts saying,(7) “Be strong and of good courage; do not be frightened or dismayed by the king of Assyria or by the horde that is with him, for we have more with us than he has with him.

Rav Pappa said to Abaye: But conjugal relations themselves are called affliction, as it is written: “And Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her; and he took her, and he lay with her and afflicted her” (Genesis 34:2). If so, how can it be said that the affliction is in withholding conjugal relations? He [Abaye] said to him: There, Shechem afflicted her by not continuing to have other [additional] relations with her. (The implication is that Dina wanted to continue being intimate with him.)

(25) On the third day, when they were in pain, Simeon and Levi, two of Jacob’s sons, brothers of Dinah, took each his sword, came upon the city unmolested, and slew all the males.(26) They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword, took Dinah out of Shechem’s house, and went away.

The daughter of Potiphera? But she was the daughter of Dina, and we heard that when Jacob came from the city of Shekhem, he wrote on a plate of gold the whole story of what happened to them with Hamor the

son of Shekhem. When Dina gave birth to Osnat, he placed the gold plate around her [Osnat's] neck, and left her by the walls of Egypt. That day Potiphar went out to stroll with his servants and reached the wall. He heard the crying of a newborn child, and instructed his servants to fetch the child. He saw the plate and the events described. Potiphar said to his servants: "This is the daughter of great people. Bring her to my home and bring a wet nurse.” And because he raised her, she was called his daughter.

(Translation appears in Tradition Magazine)

J The sons of Israel said that she should be killed, for they said that now people would say in all the land that there was an immoral daughter in the tents of Jacob. What did (Jacob) do? He wrote the Holy Name upon a golden plate, and suspended it about her neck and sent her away. She went her way. Everything is revealed before the Holy One, blessed be He, and Michael the angel descended and took her, and brought her down to Egypt to the house of Potiphera; because Asenath was destined to become the wife of Joseph. Now the wife of Potiphera was barren, and (Asenath) grew up with her as a daughter. When Joseph came down to Egypt he married her, as it is said, "And he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potiphera priest of On" (Gen. 41:45).

And some say that Job lived in the days of Jacob and that he married Dina, the daughter of Jacob. As it is written here: “You speak as one of the loathsome women speaks” (Job 2:10), and it is written there in the account of the incident involving Dina: “He has done a loathsome act in Israel” (Genesis 34:7). This concludes the text of the baraita.

(9) His wife said to him, “You still keep your integrity! Curse God and die!”

And Dinah said to him...

(23) Whenever the [evil] spirit of God came upon Saul, David would take the lyre and play it; Saul would find relief and feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.

(25) And the men of Israel were saying [among themselves], “Do you see that man coming out? He comes out to defy Israel! The man who kills him will be rewarded by the king with great riches; he will also give him his daughter in marriage and grant exemption to his father’s house in Israel.”

(49) David put his hand into the bag; he took out a stone and slung it. It struck the Philistine in the forehead; the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell face down on the ground.

(1) When [David] finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan’s soul became bound up with the soul of David; Jonathan loved David as himself.

(13) So Saul removed him from his presence and appointed him chief of a thousand, to march at the head of the troops.(14) David was successful in all his undertakings, for the LORD was with him;

(20)Now Michal daughter of Saul had fallen in love with David; and when this was reported to Saul, he was pleased.(21) Saul thought: “I will give her to him, and she can serve as a snare for him, so that the Philistines may kill him.” So Saul said to David, “You can become my son-in-law even now through the second one.”

(26) When his courtiers told this to David, David was pleased with the idea of becoming the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired,

(11) Saul sent messengers to David’s home to keep watch on him and to kill him in the morning. But David’s wife Michal told him, “Unless you run for your life tonight, you will be killed tomorrow.”(12) Michal let David down from the window and he escaped and fled.(13) Michal then took the household Terafim, laid it on the bed, and covered it with a cloth; and at its head she put a net of goat’s hair.(14) Saul sent messengers to seize David; but she said, “He is sick.”(15) Saul, however, sent back the messengers to see David for themselves. “Bring him up to me in the bed,” he ordered, “that he may be put to death.”(16) When the messengers came, they found the household Terafim in the bed, with the net of goat’s hair at its head.(17) Saul said to Michal, “Why did you play that trick on me and let my enemy get away safely?” “Because,” Michal answered Saul, “he said to me: ‘Help me get away or I’ll kill you.’”

(42) Then Abigail rose quickly and mounted an ass, and with five of her maids in attendance she followed David’s messengers; and she became his wife.(43) Now David had taken Ahinoam of Jezreel; so both of them became his wives.(44) Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Palti son of Laish from Gallim.

The two of them: This is written to make known that the two of them were his wives but not Michal because Saul had given MIchal to Palti ben Layish. And that's why it write "And Saul gave Michal his daughter etc." And there's room to ask: Michal is the wife of David so how could she have been given to Palti? And how could Palti take her if she's the wife of David? And if you say that this whole thing was done as a sin then how (later on in the narrative) would David be permitted to take her back? (A woman who willingly went and committed adultery would be forbidden to her husband.) And there are some of our rabbis of blessed memory who say that the kiddushin that took place between Palti to Michal was done as a sin, and some say that David had a kiddushei taut because it said that the king would give wealth (to whomever killed Goliath) and on that day he was loaned that amount by Saul. But someone who marries a woman through a loan is not actually married to her. And even though he used the foreskins of the Philistines for the kiddushin it's possible that Shaul thought that David was also being mekadesh her with the wealth (that Saul was loaning to David). And when it came to David, his intention was to be mekadesh her with the 200 foreskins.

And some say that Palti ben Layish never slept with her and that all the days that he was married to her a sword lay between them on the bed so that he wouldn't approach her. And so when it says later on that he followed after her and cried, he was really crying about the departure of this mitzvah (where he constantly had to rule over his Yetzer Hara). But these matters are far from the peshat.

And what is correct in my eyes is that David gave a get (writ of divorce) to Michal because he saw that Saul hated David after he became his son-in-law until the point that David had to flee the palace due to this. And when Saul saw David had fled, even though David would return from time to time, he decided to force him to give a writ of divorce to his daughter so that she wouldn't remain as an agunah (chained woman) in the palace. So he did this, and then Saul married her to Palti ben Layish.

And if you say then David should not be able to be intimate with her later on because a man cannot marry a divorced wife if she has slept with someone else, you have to remember that David did not intentionally give that get. Rather, it was forced from him, and a forced get is not valid. Meanwhile, the members of the Beit Din of Saul did not know that the get was invalid. It's even possible that David said in front of two witnesses that he was being forced into giving the get, but Michal and Palti did not know this and so they thought the get was a real valid get.

Another interpretation is that David actually gave the get of his own free will, and he sent it with a messenger. However, he then decided it should not take effect BEFORE the messenger actually reached Michal and gave it to her. She didn't know that he had changed his intention so she took it as a valid get. And thus, when Michal was intimate with another man, that was due to a mistake because she believed that the get was valid. Someone who is intimate with another man based on a mistake is permitted to return to her husband.

(12) Abner immediately sent messengers to David, saying, “To whom shall the land belong?” and to say [further], “Make a pact with me, and I will help you and bring all Israel over to your side.”(13) He replied, “Good; I will make a pact with you. But I make one demand upon you: Do not appear before me unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul when you come before me.”(14) David also sent messengers to Ishbosheth son of Saul, to say, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bride-price of one hundred Philistine foreskins.”(15) So Ishbosheth sent and had her taken away from [her] husband, Paltiel son of Laish.(16) Her husband walked with her as far as Bahurim, weeping as he followed her; then Abner ordered him to turn back, and he went back.

(14) David whirled with all his might before the LORD; David was girt with a linen ephod.(15) Thus David and all the House of Israel brought up the Ark of the LORD with shouts and with blasts of the horn.(16) As the Ark of the LORD entered the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.(17) They brought in the Ark of the LORD and set it up in its place inside the tent which David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and offerings of well-being before the LORD.(18) When David finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and the offerings of well-being, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD of Hosts.(19) And he distributed among all the people—the entire multitude of Israel, man and woman alike—to each a loaf of bread, a cake made in a pan, and a raisin cake. Then all the people left for their homes.(20) David went home to greet his household. And Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “Didn’t the king of Israel do himself honor today—exposing himself today in the sight of the slavegirls of his subjects, as one of the riffraff might expose himself!”(21) David answered Michal, “It was before the LORD who chose me instead of your father and all his family and appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel! I will dance before the LORD(22) and dishonor myself even more, and be low in my own esteem; but among the slavegirls that you speak of I will be honored.”(23) So to her dying day Michal daughter of Saul had no children.

That was revealed that day- Because when he danced some of his body was revealed, and the maidservants and servants saw, and it was like the behavior of the empty/ loose people who didn't care about covering up their bodies so that others wouldn't see.

(Paraphrased)

In the Midrash, she said to him that her father's house was royal. They wouldn't even expose a part of their hand or foot because they were dignified and regal. So David said to her, "Before God who chose me over your father- your father did not focus on honoring God but rather on honoring himself, but I am willing to give up on my own honor and to dedicate myself to God's honor."

(4) and he came to the sheepfolds along the way. There was a cave there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the back of the cave.

To cover his feet. (Paraphrase)To urinate...and our rabbis of blessed memory explain. Rabbi Elazar taught that he (Saul) made himself like a Sukkah out of his great modesty. He covered himself at the moment of relieving himself so that he would not see his naked flesh or his feet. He did this out of a sense of respect/ covered up his male organ while urinating.

(1) This happened sometime afterward: Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and Amnon son of David became infatuated with her.(2) Amnon was so distraught because of his [half-]sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.(3) Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimah; Jonadab was a very clever man.(4) He asked him, “Why are you so dejected, O prince, morning after morning? Tell me!” Amnon replied, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom!”(5) Jonadab said to him, “Lie down in your bed and pretend you are sick. When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in front of me, so that I may look on, and let her serve it to me.’”(6) Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. The king came to see him, and Amnon said to the king, “Let my sister Tamar come and prepare a couple of cakes in front of me, and let her bring them to me.”(7) David sent a message to Tamar in the palace, “Please go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.”(8) Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was in bed. She took dough and kneaded it into cakes in front of him, and cooked the cakes.(9) She took the pan and set out [the cakes], but Amnon refused to eat and ordered everyone to withdraw. After everyone had withdrawn,(10) Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food inside and feed me.” Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them to her brother inside.(11) But when she served them to him, he caught hold of her and said to her, “Come lie with me, sister.”(12) But she said to him, “Don’t, brother. Don’t force me. Such things are not done in Israel! Don’t do such a vile thing!(13) Where will I carry my shame? And you, you will be like any of the scoundrels in Israel! Please, speak to the king; he will not refuse me to you.”(14) But he would not listen to her; he overpowered her and lay with her by force.(15) Then Amnon felt a very great loathing for her; indeed, his loathing for her was greater than the passion he had felt for her. And Amnon said to her, “Get out!”(16) She pleaded with him, “Please don’t commit this wrong; to send me away would be even worse than the first wrong you committed against me.” But he would not listen to her.(17) He summoned his young attendant and said, “Get that woman out of my presence, and bar the door behind her.”—(18) She was wearing an ornamented tunic, for maiden princesses were customarily dressed in such garments.—His attendant took her outside and barred the door after her.(19)Tamar put dust on her head and rent the ornamented tunic she was wearing; she put her hands on her head, and walked away, screaming loudly as she went.(20) Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was it your brother Amnon who did this to you? For the present, sister, keep quiet about it; he is your brother. Don’t brood over the matter.” And Tamar remained in her brother Absalom’s house, forlorn.

The Gemara inquires: And according to the first tanna as well, isn’t it written: “Yet you shall die like a man,” which indicates that their mortality was decreed only due to the sin of the Golden Calf? The Gemara answers: What is meant by death? It means poverty. As the Master said: Four are considered as though they were dead: These are a pauper, a blind person, a leper, and one who has no children.

(1) ויבך AND HE WEPT- because he foresaw by the Holy Spirit that she would not be buried with him in the cave of Machpelah (Genesis Rabbah 70:12). Another explanation is: he wept because he came with empty hands. He thought: Eliezer, my grandfather’s servant, had with him rings, bracelets and all good things, whilst I have nothing with me (Genesis Rabbah 70:12). This was because Eliphaz Esau’s son pursued Jacob by his father’s order to kill him, and overtook him. But because Eliphaz had been brought up on Isaac’s lap, (cp. Deuteronomy Rabbah 2:13) he withheld his hand. He said to him (Jacob), “But what shall I do as regards my father’s order?” Jacob replied, “Take all I have and you can say that I am dead for a poor man may be accounted as dead" (Nedarim 64b).

(27) Absalom had three sons and a daughter whose name was Tamar; she was a beautiful woman.