(יא) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּדֵּעוֹת. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, חָסִיד. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, רָשָׁע:
(11) There are four kinds of temperaments: Easy to become angry, and easy to be appeased: their gain disappears in their loss; Hard to become angry, and hard to be appeased: their loss disappears in their gain; Hard to become angry and easy to be appeased: a pious person;
Easy to become angry and hard to be appeased: a wicked person.
Discussion Question:
What does this text tell us about anger? Do you agree with the assumption?
Reflection question:
Which of these types of people do you consider yourself to be?
Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani said that Rabbi Yonatan said: Anyone who gets angry, all kinds of Gehenna rule over him,
Discussion Question:
Why do you think Rabbi Yonatan uses this language to express his teaching?
Reflection Questions:
What are some of the consequences you've seen from anger?
What "Gehenna" are you most worried about creating from anger?
Reish Lakish said: Any person who becomes angry, if they are a Torah scholar, their wisdom departs from them, and if they are a prophet, prophecy departs from them.
The Talmud explains: That if they are a Torah scholar his wisdom departs from him is learned from Moses, as it is written: “And Moses became angry with the officers of the host...who came from the battle” (Numbers 31:14). And what was his punishment? As it is written: “And Elazar the priest said to the men of war who went to the battle: This is the statute of the law, which the Lord commanded Moses” (Numbers 31:21), which proves by inference that this law had become hidden from Moses due to his anger.
Discussion Questions:
What is the relationship between Torah and anger?
Why do you think anger would cause someone to lose their wisdom?
Rabbi Elai said: In three matters a person’s true character is ascertained; in their cup, i.e., behavior when they drink; in their pocket, i.e., conduct in financial dealings with other people; and in their anger. And some say: A person also reveals their nature through their laughter.
Discussion Questions: What do cup, pocket, and anger have in common? Do they overlap?
Reflection question: Do you feel like your angry self or your calm self is the real you?
(9) Don’t let your spirit be quick to anger, for anger abides in the breasts of fools.
(6) ... “Adonai! Adonai! God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness,
How do I become Erech Apayim - slow to anger?
(1) Study Your Anger - What/Who makes you angry? When are you angry? What thoughts go through your head? How does your anger manifest physically (yelling, clenched teeth, death stares..) WRITE THESE DOWN
(2) Avoid the things that set you off or modify them - Look at your list from (1) and write down how you might avoid them of modify them
(3) Separate your identity from your emotions - You are more than your feelings and you get to choose how to react to them. Rather than say "I'm angry", say "I'm noticing my anger".
(4) Walk Away - Give yourself time implement 1-4. Communicate to others that you need some time to cool down.