פרקי אבות א:ה

(5) Yose ben Yochanan (a man) of Jerusalem used to say: Let thy house be wide open, and let the poor be members of thy household. Engage not in too much conversation with women. They said this with regard to one’s own wife, how much more [does the rule apply] with regard to another man’s wife. From here the Sages said: as long as a man engages in too much conversation with women, he causes evil to himself, he neglects the study of the Torah, and in the end he will inherit gehinnom.

(1) Yose ben Yochanan, man of Jerusalem, says, "May your home be open wide": Some say that [this means that] there be largess found in his house for needy people. Or the explanation is that his house be like the house of our father Avraham, peace be upon him - such that his house be on the road in a tight spot so that passers by should come in to there; and that it should be open on four sides, so that from all sides that they come, they will find an open door and they will turn into it, as Job stated (Job 31:32), "I opened my doors to the road."

(2) "may the poor be members of your household": This is expounded in two ways. Instead of buying slaves and supporting them, he should use poor people and support them and he will not need to expend money. So that it comes out that he will profit and do a commandment (good deed). Another explanation: And also that the poor will be accustomed to his house and stay there without embarrassment, as a result of his showing them a happy face and giving them permission to everything that is his, like a man would give to his children and to the people of his home.

(3) "and do not increase conversation with the woman": As conversation with women brings one to thoughts of sin and neglect of Torah [study].

(4) They so stated with his wife; all the more so with the wife of his friend. (Our master and teacher [Rashi] wrote, "As it is written in the Fathers According to Rabbi Nathan), "They said [this] about his menstruant wife, all the more so regarding the wife of his fellow." It means to say, that he not increase words with his menstruant wife, lest his impulse overcomes him and he comes to a mishap; and all the more so with the wife of his fellow, about whom his impulse pressures him even more. As if they said it with the one that will be permissible for him tomorrow - and it appears to him like 'bread in his basket' - all the more so with another woman, whom the impulse desires, as the matter that it stated (Proverbs 9:17), "stolen waters are sweet." But it appears to be explained according to its simple meaning, "They so stated with his wife," not to ever accustom her to [many] words, so that she not be found with him every day. As a man should not be with his wife for his pleasure, but [rather] to fulfill the commandment; so as to distinguish between man and beast, as they said in Tractate Berakhot 22a concerning a man with a nocturnal emission, "So that they not be with their wives like chickens." And that is the trait of separation which brings one to the highest levels, as we say (Avodah Zarah 20b), "Separation brings to purity."

(5) From this, the sages said, "Any time that a man increases conversation with the woman, he causes evil to himself": [This] is to say, he causes the impulse that is called evil to overpower him, as we say (Kiddushin 30b), "Great is the evil impulse, that its Creator calls it evil, as it is stated (Genesis 8:21), 'since the devisings of man’s mind are evil from his youth.'" And this man caused evil to himself, as he gave it a place and an invitation to cling to himself, by way of conversation [with women]. And he went beyond the traits of other men, as the impulse sometimes overpowers them [also]; but without them doing something to cause [it], and it is not their own doing that brought the evil to begin with them.

(6) "and neglects the words of Torah:" As the thought of Torah is not firm in his eyes so long as his heart is focused on the woman and upon her conversation, as they are two thoughts that the heart does not tolerate together.

(7) "and, in his end, he inherits Geihinam": As in the end, he comes to sin: Since he follows the whims of his heart and increases words, certainly (Editor's note: It appears that instead of "al panim" (certainly?), [it should be] with the woman - see Midrash Shmuel) he will sin and descend to the pit. And this is what Shlomo - peace be upon him - stated (Ecclesiastes 7:26), "I find woman more bitter than death; she is all traps, her heart is snares and her hands are fetters." This means to say that death removes him from the world - from the small life of the world - but woman destroys his soul for ever and ever. Behold, 'she is more bitter than death.' "She is all traps and snares": When a man observes a woman, he is caught in her net, which is her trap, and he cannot escape from her. As the man sees that which his heart desires and he does not see what will happen to him from her in the end of days. As the lyricist (R. Yehudah HaLevi) said, "The seduced dove travels in the wilderness; it sees the grain but it does not see the trap." "Her heart is snares" - when she desires a man in her heart, even if he does not desire her and it is [just] the bad fortune of this man that caused her to desire him. "Her hands are fetters" - because if she grabs him with her hands, he is already taken into the 'prison' and he no longer has a way to fix it. "He who is pleasing to God escapes her, and he who is displeasing is caught by her" (Ecclesiastes 7:26) as the Holy One, blessed be He, protects the righteous and does not present them something through which they might stumble; but the sinner, who does not distance himself from evil paths and whose heart is not complete, chances upon a matter like this.

(4) from this, the sages said: Our holy master (Rabbi), who arranged the mishnahs, wrote [this]: From the words of this sage, who said, "Do not increase conversation with the woman," the sages learned to say, "Every time that a man increases conversation with the woman he causes evil for himself." I have found written, "When a man says to his wife his doings, ‘Such and such befell me with so and so,’ she teaches him to stir up trouble, like Korah, who told his wife what Moshe did, when he waved the Levites as a wave-offering, and her words brought him to an argument." And also (another possibility is) when he tells her that his colleagues insulted him and shamed him, she too despises him in her heart, and this causes evil for himself.

(5) "and neglects the words of Torah": As he is drawn after idle matters and does not occupy himself with Torah.