Our country doesn’t value researching what happens in old age, as we are more concerned with what happens in the vigorous years of life. A geriatrician and researcher for the University of Minnesota, Chad Boult found that by simply seeing aging adults regularly and paying careful attention to the feet (that was the best way to notice that an individual is no longer able to care for themselves effectively) helped defray the need for home health services. However, Boult’s division of geriatrics was closed due to the financial loses incurred by the department.
Birth is a beginning and death is a destination, and life is a journey”
No one knows when the gates will close forever so while we are inside them we had better love passionately, fight passionately, learn passionately, live passionately.”
“People want to share memories, pass on wisdoms and keepsakes, settle relationships, establish their legacies, make peace with God, and ensure that those who are left behind will be okay. They want to end their stories on their own terms.”
“It is only by acknowledging death that we understand the inestimable, the incalculable value of our own lives”
What buoys people in old age, is having a purpose
(29) Then [Jacob] instructed [his children], saying to them, “I am about to be gathered to my kin. Bury me with my ancestors in the cave which is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
Right before this in Gen 49:1-28 Jacob "blesses" each of this 12 children individually, telling them what he sees as their futures
(24) At length, Joseph said to his brothers, “I am about to die. God will surely take notice of you and bring you up from this land to the land promised on oath to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.” (25) So Joseph made the sons of Israel swear, saying, “When God has taken notice of you, you shall carry up my bones from here.” (26) Joseph died at the age of one hundred and ten years; and he was embalmed and placed in a coffin in Egypt.
(23) At Mount Hor, on the boundary of the land of Edom, יהוה said to Moses and Aaron, (24) “Let Aaron be gathered to his kin: he is not to enter the land that I have assigned to the Israelite people, because you disobeyed My command about the Waters of Meribah. (25) Take Aaron and his son Eleazar and bring them up on Mount Hor. (26) Strip Aaron of his vestments and put them on his son Eleazar. There Aaron shall be gathered unto the dead.” (27) Moses did as יהוה had commanded. They ascended Mount Hor in the sight of the whole community. (28) Moses stripped Aaron of his vestments and put them on his son Eleazar, and Aaron died there on the summit of the mountain. When Moses and Eleazar came down from the mountain, (29) the whole community knew that Aaron had breathed his last. All the house of Israel bewailed Aaron thirty days.
(1) When David’s life was drawing to a close, he instructed his son Solomon as follows: (2) “I am going the way of all the earth; be strong and show yourself a man. (3) Keep the charge of Adonai your God, walking in God's ways and following God's laws, God's commandments, His rules, and His admonitions as recorded in the Teaching of Moses, in order that you may succeed in whatever you undertake and wherever you turn. (4) Then the LORD will fulfill the promise that He made concerning me: ‘If your descendants are scrupulous in their conduct, and walk before Me faithfully, with all their heart and soul, your line on the throne of Israel shall never end!’-a
The Gemara answers: Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was in Beit She’arim, but when he became ill they transferred him to Tzippori, ...§ It is related that on the day that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi died, the Sages decreed a fast, and begged for divine mercy so that he would not die. And they said: Anyone who says that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi has died will be stabbed with a sword. The maidservant of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi ascended to the roof and said: The upper realms are requesting the presence of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, and the lower realms are requesting the presence of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi. May it be the will of God that the lower worlds should impose their will upon the upper worlds. However, when she saw how many times he would enter the bathroom and remove his phylacteries, and then exit and put them back on, and how he was suffering with his intestinal disease, she said: May it be the will of God that the upper worlds should impose their will upon the lower worlds. And the Sages, meanwhile, would not be silent, i.e., they would not refrain, from begging for mercy so that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi would not die. So she took a jug and threw it from the roof to the ground. Due to the sudden noise, the Sages were momentarily silent and refrained from begging for mercy, and Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi died.
How do we determine the person we want to help make healthcare decisions for us? Do we want our students, as it were, or our maidservant? Our children or a siblings?
“Why didn’t you see my alps?” (Wolfson, 97) i.e. were there earthly pleasures permitted to you that you did not enjoy? (98)
As he lay close to death, his students gathered, noticing tears in his eyes.
“Rabbi, why are you crying?” They asked
“I’m frightened of what will happen when I meet God.”
“But rabbi,” his students protested. “You’ve taught us well and made the world a better place through your learning. How could you possibly be worried?”
Zusya countered: “I’m not concerned that I didn’t teach enough. Nor am I concerned that God will ask me why I wasn’t more like Moses, a prophet; or like Solomon, a wise man. No, I’m afraid God will ask me why I wasn’t more like Zusya.”
...the Sages said: At the hour of a person’s departure to his eternal home, all his deeds are enumerated before him and are rendered visible to him once again, and the deeds themselves say to him: You did such and such, in such and such a place, on such and such a day, and he says: Yes, that is exactly what happened. And they say to him: Sign a statement that this is correct, and he signs it... And not only that, but after one has been shown all his deeds, he justifies the judgment upon himself, and says to them: You have judged me well. This response serves to fulfill that which is stated: “That You may be justified when You speak and be right when You judge” (Psalms 51:6).
The Hebrew word for funeral is livayah, meaning to accompany. Our task is to accompany the dying as far as we can, until they are laid in their final resting place. Dying is said to be a solitary activity, but death is actually solitary. Dying shouldn’t be.