Lying in Judaism

The Torah’s treatment of the topic of truth and falsehood is exquisitely sensitive. The mitzvah to “distance ourselves from falsehood” is not only a prohibition against outright verbal lies that cause direct or indirect loss to another, but includes a prohibition against any gesture or even an act of silence that results in a deceptive message being understood by the observer.

Even so, the Torah allows one to alter the truth for the sake of pursuing peace, fulfilling a mitzvah, praising a bride, and maintaining one’s humility and modesty. This leniency is only permitted where the falsehood does not affect anyone else adversely, there are no other means available, and one does not do it regularly. Finally, one who strives to be truthful in all his affairs is “walking in God’s ways” and helps to sustain the entire world.

We will be addressing the following questions:

• What determines if something is a lie: the words you say or the message understood by the listener?

• If you remain silent and it results in a deceptive message, is that called a lie?

• What if everyone “bends the truth” and “massages the numbers”? Maybe then falsehood is fine?

• Are there cases where one may indeed alter the truth?

• If so, does this mean that any means, including lies, can be justified by a noble end?!

Section I. Honesty and Integrity: The Mitzvah to Avoid Falsehood

As an introduction to Judaism’s attitude to lying, consider the following situation:

A non-Jewish religious leader was teaching his congregation about the incident involving Rachav and the two spies (Yehoshua/Joshua 2:1-24). Briefly, two Jewish spies were sent by Yehoshua on a reconnaissance mission to Jericho before it would be conquered, as the Jewish people prepared to enter the Land of Israel. A rumor spread that spies were present in the city. A woman named Rachav, who ran a brothel, hid the spies on her roof. When she was asked by the authorities to hand over the spies, she said that they had already left the city.

The religious leader said that Rachav had done the right thing, just as people hiding Jews from the Nazi’s had to lie.

His congregants disagreed with him, saying that one always has to tell the truth, even at the cost of a life.

The religious leader disagreed, saying that one can lie and repent afterwards.

Who was right: the non-Jewish religious leader or his congregants?

(We will address this specific case at the end of Section IV.)

As we shall see, in Judaism there are certain limited cases when it is appropriate to alter the truth, for that in itself is the truth. Let us now investigate Judaism’s approach to truth and falsehood:

What is meant by the phrase “distance yourself from falsehood”? Why does it not just say “do not tell a lie”?

In other words, even though theft affects someone else in the physical world and is a severe offense, speaking falsehood is in a sense more serious since it leaves a stain on the purity of one’s soul, because “truth” is a crucial component of a person’s soul (Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey to Virtue 10:2).

Key Themes of Section I:

• ​If asked, most people pride themselves on their honesty and integrity – they don’t tell outright lies, and their words match their actions. But does one have a love for truth? And furthermore, a disgust for falsehood? For this is the standard to which God holds us.

• The Torah could have simply stated: “Do not tell a lie.” The phrase “distance yourself from falsehood” – used nowhere else in the Torah – indicates the tenaciousness with which every Jew must pursue truth and reject falsehood.

• On a deeper level, the rejection of falsehood and becoming a more truthful person is one of the ways to fulfill the mitzvah to emulate God, because God describes Himself as “abundant in kindness and truth” (Shemot 34:6). Furthermore, a crucial aspect of the health of a person’s soul is his ability to be truthful.​​​​​​

Section II. Truth is the Will of God and It Sustains the World

In the previous section we examined the mitzvah to avoid falsehood, and to strive for honesty and integrity. In this section we will discuss how Judaism defines and values the idea of “truth.”

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, Michtav M’Eliyahu, Vol. I, p. 94 – Truth is that which accords with the Will of God, and falsehood is that which is the opposite.

Ibid., Vol. II, p. 139, and Vol. I, p. 117 – When a person has clarity, then the difference between good and evil is as obvious as the difference between truth and falsehood. Adam lost this clarity when he ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Our job is to use our free will to regain this clarity.

The Talmud relates the following parable to describe the pursuit of perfect truthfulness in this world:

The Maharal explains that the place named Kushtah (meaning “truth” in Aramaic) does not really exist in this world. This means that perfect truthfulness – where both the message and the words are always accurate – is an impossible level that cannot be reached in this world, since the right thing to do is to alter the truth when it is appropriate (when pursuing peace, or a mitzvah, as described in Section IV).

Therefore, so long as Rav Tavut was a human living in this world, he could not inhabit the town called Kushtah where both the message and the words had to be accurate (Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, based on Maharal, Netivot Olam, Netiv HaEmet, Ch. 1, s.v. ma’amar zeh).

Maharal, Chidushei Agadot, Sanhedrin 97a – Perfect truthfulness is a goal, even when there is a leniency to alter the truth. Truth is that which has permanence and continuity.

The following example explains the statement, “Truth stands, falsehood does not stand” (in the above source). We all intuitively realize that waking life is relatively more real and true than a dream during sleep. Why is this? Because waking life has relative permanence and continuity – your room and bed are still there when you wake up, even though they disappeared while you were asleep. However, a dream lacks any permanence or continuity – when you go back to sleep, your room and bed on the Caribbean Island that you dreamed about previously, are gone. Therefore, it’s easy for us to sense that the events and objects of waking life are true, since they have relative permanence, whereas a dream which lacks any permanence and continuity is false. It could therefore be said that which is true “stands the test of time” (Rabbi Benzion Klatzko).

There is a deeper lesson behind the statement “Truth stands, falsehood does not stand”, as follows. There are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet. When the five “end letters” are written side by side with their counterparts there are 27 letters altogether. The first, middle and last letters in this sequence make up the word emet, “truth.” Each of these letters rests on two legs, so that they have a firm foundation. This teaches us that truth is built on a firm foundation and endures (based on Shabbat 104a).

The last letters of the Aleph-Beit form the word sheker, meaning “falsehood.” Each of these letters stands on one “leg,” that is they do not have a firm foundation. This comes to tell us that a lie has no foundation and does not endure.

Furthermore, the first letters of the alphabet combine to form the word “bagad”, which means to betray:

Comparing the placement of the letters for emet and the placement of the letters for sheker and bagad, one might say that truth is consistent throughout – at the beginning, middle, and end of a matter – whereas falsehood only makes its appearance at the beginning or end of a matter, but then is found to be non-existent and empty.

Finally, our Sages tell us that one has to “dig in the Torah” and one will find truth. As an example, the final letters of the first three words of the Torah (Bereishit/Genesis 1:1) are the mixed up letters of the word emet (truth). Dig a little deeper and the truth will be clearer: the final letters of the second through fourth words spells emet in order (Rabbi Avrohom Gershon):

Key Themes of Section II:

• Sometimes what appears to be true is false – for example, to “tell the truth” about another person if it would reveal something negative about him. Other times, it’s the opposite: what appears to be false may help to achieve the truth – for example, to praise a bride to her groom when she may not possess the qualities you are describing. Nevertheless, even when there is a leniency to alter the truth, perfect truthfulness is a goal toward which everyone must strive.

• It certainly takes effort to think carefully before one speaks and acts to ensure that one is always truthful. However, when one does so, one is aligning one’s speech and actions with the Will of God and helping to sustain the world.

Section III. Categories of Falsehood that are Prohibited

In the previous section we discussed Judaism’s definition and profound relationship to that which we call “truth.” In this section we categorize different types of falsehood and give examples. The goal of this section is to sensitize ourselves to statements that we may never have previously considered falsehood.

Part A. Spoken Falsehood: The Nine Categories

There are nine categories of prohibited falsehood, which are listed below in descending severity (as described in Rabbeinu Yonah’s Sha’arei Teshuvah 3:178-186):

Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey to Virtue, 10:6 – Falsehood that causes a loss to another.

The first and most serious category encompasses any falsehood that causes injustice or loss to another person, such as disclaiming a debt of money or property, including wages owed to a worker. (This also violates the prohibition: “Do not deny [money] falsely,” Vayikra 19:11.)

Similarly, cheating in business is also prohibited by the Torah. (This also violates the command not to cause distress to others, Vayikra 25:14.)

An example of causing someone a loss by lying:

Reuven hired Shimon to do some work, and did not pay Shimon his wages.

Shimon: “Did you mail my check yet?”

Reuven: “Sure, I sent it in the mail two months ago. Maybe you misplaced it.”

Included in this category of falsehood would be a case where an employee lies to his boss saying that he is sick, in order that he can use his sick days for a vacation.

Ibid. 10:7 – Falsehood that indirectly causes a loss to another.

The second category encompasses falsehood that does not in itself cause direct harm or loss, but is intended to lead to it. For example:

A and B are executives in a large company. A is B’s boss. B, coveting A’s job, makes a point of treating A with a great show of respect and loyalty. A decides to entrust B with more responsibility. B then uses his position to cause several deals to fall through in a way that reflects badly on A, but leaves B looking blameless. As a result, A is fired, and B is given his job.

Even though B’s earlier respectful behavior toward A did not harm A directly, his behavior right from the start was prohibited under this category of falsehood. (In the above case there might be other transgressions involved as well, such as a theft.)

Ibid. 10:8 – Falsehood that causes a loss of expected profit or gain.

The third category encompasses situations in which one person deceitfully prevents another from realizing a certain profit or advantage and diverts it to himself, or deceives someone into giving him a present. This may not cause any actual loss, but it still deprives someone from expected benefit or profit.

Cheating on an entrance test to a job or a college that causes another person to lose a position or place, falls into this category of falsehood. If one does get the job by cheating, any money earned from it might be considered theft (Igrot Moshe, Choshen Mishpat 2:30). (Of course, even if no one else loses out, cheating on a test is outright falsehood.)

The following story indicates the thoughtfulness that one must employ to avoid causing a loss of profit to others.

Rabbi Aaron Soloveitchik (Rosh Yeshivah of Brisk in Chicago) was once traveling with his grandson to New York. When he went to the travel agent to buy the ticket, she told him that the airline could give him a companion ticket at a discounted price for a fellow family member. The agent insisted that his grandson would qualify as a companion for the discount. Rabbi Soloveitchik asked to see the terms of the offer and when he saw that this was not the case, and would cause a loss of profit to the airline, he paid full price for the ticket. (Heard from Rabbi Motty Friedman, the grandson-in-law of Rabbi Aaron Soloveitchik.)

Ibid. 10:9 – Deliberately misrepresenting facts that do not harm others.

The fourth category encompasses deliberately misrepresenting what one has heard, even though no personal benefit is gained from doing so and no one else is harmed. [This is commonly referred to as a “white lie.”]

Yaakov and Chezkie were telling friends about a camp outing. Yaakov started making up a story about a midnight intruder to their campfire. Chezkie interrupted him and said: “Stop making up stories. There was no midnight intruder.” Yaakov responded: “So what, they’ll never know!”

As we shall see below in section IV, this category of falsehood was made permissible by the Rabbis in order to:

1. Fulfill a mitzvah, and
2. For the pursuit of “good and peace.”

Ibid. 10:10 – Offering a favor or gift without intending to follow through.

The fifth category encompasses offering to do a favor or give a gift without intending to do so. This is duplicity … and we are commanded to speak only an honest “yes” or “no” and not to speak with hypocrisy (Bava Metzia 49a).

Child to parent: I will do my homework right after I finish playing.

(To himself: I have no real intention of doing it then. At least I will put it off.)

Wife to husband: Please clean up this room while I go to the PTA meeting.

Husband: All right. (He has no intention of doing so, but it is more convenient not to make an issue out of it.)

Ibid. 10:11 – Backing out of a promise to do something for someone.

The sixth category encompasses promising to do something with the intention of keeping one’s word and then deciding afterward to renege on the promise... There are three ways in which one’s word can be considered a “promise”:

1. If the word “promise” is used;
2. If the word given is for so small a favor that the recipient has no reason to doubt that it will not be kept;
3. If one gives his word in a public setting, since people assume that such a commitment will be honored.

Word must be kept:

1. "I promise to take you to see..."
2. "I will take you home." (A five-minute drive.)
3. At a public meeting: "I will work on setting up a committee."

Someone who pledges to donate money to tzedakah (charity) and does not keep his word commits the sin of falsehood and also violates the prohibition of profaning one’s vow (Bamidbar/Numbers 30:3), since a pledge to tzedakah has the force of a vow.

Ibid. 10:13 – Pretending to do someone a favor, especially if they now feel a debt of gratitude to you.

The seventh category encompasses indicating [or pretending] that one has done someone a favor or spoken well of him when one has not actually done so [this is called geneivat da’at, lit. theft of the mind; Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 228:6].

Reuven meets Shimon on the road and thinks that Shimon came out especially to greet him. Shimon, who had no intention of coming to greet Reuven, takes advantage of the situation and says, “I came especially to greet you, Reuven!”

Wrong way: You’re my good friend; I am going to give you a special price. (The item is on sale already.)

Right way: You’re my good friend; I’m happy you came when the item is on sale.

Ibid. 10:14 – Praising oneself or accepting praise for qualities that one does not have.

The eighth category consists of praising oneself or accepting praise from others for good deeds or qualities one does not posses.

“Stand up for Reb David. He has completed the Talmud.” (If he only learned 70% of the Talmud, he is required to say, “I have not yet learned all of it.”)

Ibid. 10:15 – Minor lies for one’s own convenience when no one else is affected.

The ninth category covers the kinds of falsehood that people say for their own pleasure or convenience. Such falsehood does not cause any loss to anyone, and it does not indicate a total lack of sensitivity to the value of truth (as in the fourth category), but is still forbidden.

Mother: What time did you go to sleep last night?

Child: Uh, 10:00. (He really went to sleep at 11:00.)

Key Themes of Section III, Part A:

• To the untrained, it’s either red wine or white wine. But to a wine connoisseur, there are many categories to describe wine. Similarly, to those lacking sensitivity, it’s either a “small lie” or a “big lie.” But to Jews who are connoisseurs of the truth, there are nine categories of falsehood! In descending order of severity they are:

1. A falsehood that causes a direct loss to others
2. A falsehood that causes an indirect loss to others
3. A falsehood that causes a loss of expected profit
4. A deliberate inconsequential falsehood
5. Offering a favor with no intent to fulfill it
6. Backing out of a promise to do a favor
7. Pretending to do a favor
8. Accepting praise for qualities one does not have
9. Convenient inconsequential falsehood

• The more categories a culture has to describe something, the more sensitized one is to it. Can any other people or culture claim to have nine categories of truthfulness?!

Part B. Falsehood Through Body Language and Silence

The following sources show that falsehood is not only determined by what you say, but also by the accuracy of the message that others understand from your actions.

Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey to Virtue, 10:4

Falsehood is prohibited whether spoken out loud or conveyed through facial expressions, gestures, body language, etc.

An example of the above:

A friend is selling his apartment. When a prospective buyer comes to see the apartment he arranges that his friends be in the apartment and appear wealthy as if they’re interested in buying it. This is falsehood, even though they remain silent. (Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, Jerusalem.)

An example of falsehood without speaking:

“Here is David, he just finished learning about when it is permissible to lie.” (If he hasn’t learned this topic, then by remaining silent he is telling a lie.)

Additionally, the Talmud (Shavuot 31a) cites cases where one’s style of dress could lead to falsehood in a court of law, since it might lead the judges to respect the wealthy-looking party or have pity on the poor-looking party.

Part C. Listening to Falsehood is Prohibited

One last aspect of the mitzvah to “distance oneself from falsehood” is not to deliberately listen to something that is a lie:

Part D. Normal Exaggeration is Not Falsehood

Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman, Journey to Virtue, 10:24 – A blatant exaggeration is not a distortion of the truth since everyone understands that you are just exaggerating.

The prohibitions against falsehood do not apply to blatant exaggerations that are obvious to the listener (based on Mishnah Nedarim 24b, Ran ibid.).

“He is as tall as a skyscraper.”

“The entire city came to the wedding.”

Key Themes of Section III, Parts B-D:

• Falsehood is not only determined by what you say, but also by the accuracy of the message that others understand from your words and actions, even if you don’t say anything misleading. Therefore, in assessing how truthful we are, we need to consider the truthfulness of our non-verbal communication: facial expressions, body language, and even silence!

• Our rejection of falsehood must be so complete that we do not even listen to words of falsehood, especially where they could jeopardize our own sense of honesty.

• Finally, since falsehood is determined by the message that others understand from your words, if everyone understands that you are exaggerating for effect, then it’s not falsehood, even though the words are not accurate.

In certain situations the Torah allows for an altering of the truth to allow for a more important Torah-defined goal. However, only an inconsequential falsehood that does not harm anyone else, nor lead to personal gain (the fourth category in Section III above) is permitted in such a case. (Furthermore, this leniency is subject to the conditions listed in Section V.)

Part A. For the Sake of Fulfilling a Mitzvah

For example:

It is permissible to make up a completely fictional story to improve the mood of a friend who is in the hospital. For example, it is permitted to make up a funny story about how you got lost on the way to visit him, if this will make him happy. (Improving the mood of the patient is part of the mitzvah of visiting the sick.)

Part B. For the Sake of Peace

[Avraham (Abraham) and Sarah were informed by three guests that they would miraculously have children even though they were old. Sarah expressed disbelief at the news, claiming that both she and her husband were incapable of producing children. When God related the incident of Sarah’s disbelief to Avraham, He omitted the fact that Sarah had implied that her husband was old and incapable of having children:]

It is also permitted to alter the truth to bring peace between any two parties in a dispute (Yevamot 65b gives the example of Yosef (Joseph) and his brothers). Also, Aaron would inform each party in a dispute that the other felt bad and wanted to resolve the issue, until they would meet on the street and embrace (Pirkei Avot 1:12).

The following beautiful story shows how a creative altering of the truth saved a spouse from embarrassment:

Dinah and Reuven were getting married, and Reuven’s grandmother bought a large diamond to be Dinah’s engagement ring. At the first night of Sheva Berachot (festive meals following the wedding), Dinah was shocked to find the ring missing. She became the subject of snide and insensitive comments for the next few months, until one afternoon when Reuven put on his wedding suit for that night’s Pesach Seder and found the ring. “I forgot that I put it in my pocket when Dinah went to wash for the bread meal at Shevah Berachot,” he said. Reuven then became the subject of comments about his forgetfulness and Dinah was exonerated.

Eighteen years later, Reuven and Dinah encountered serious financial difficulties and decided to sell the ring to help pay for their daughter's upcoming wedding. When Dinah took the ring to the original store to have it valuated, the owner insisted that he’d never sold such a ring. Only after going home and looking at the eighteen-year-old receipt did Dinah realize that Reuven had bought a replacement for the lost ring shortly after the wedding and claimed that he was the one who had forgotten it in his pocket – all to save her from embarrassment and keep peace in the family! (Adapted from People Speak by Rabbi Walder.)

Part C. To Praise a Bride to Her Groom

An example of the above:

Following a Jewish wedding, there is a week of festive meals for the bride and groom (Shevah Berachot) at which it is customary for family and friends to praise the bride and groom in front of each other. It is permitted to stretch the truth and exaggerate so that they will be more beloved to each other (Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha’Ezer 65:1).