Hatred is a much more extreme version of anger. Are there any learnings we can gain by studying the Balak and Balaam's reactions to the Jewish people?
Rabba bar Rav Huna said: Anyone who gets angry, at that moment even the Divine Presence is not important to him, as it is stated: “The wicked, in the height of his anger says: He will not require; all his thoughts are: There is no God” (Psalms 10:4). Rabbi Yirmeya of Difti said: Anyone who gets angry forgets his learning and increases foolishness, as it is stated: “For anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9), and it is written: “But a fool unfolds folly” (Proverbs 13:16). Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak said: With regard to one who gets angry, it is acknowledged that his sins are more numerous than his merits, as it is stated: “And a wrathful man abounds in transgression” (Proverbs 29:22).
(יב) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶל־בִּלְעָ֔ם לֹ֥א תֵלֵ֖ךְ עִמָּהֶ֑ם לֹ֤א תָאֹר֙ אֶת־הָעָ֔ם כִּ֥י בָר֖וּךְ הֽוּא׃ (יג) וַיָּ֤קׇם בִּלְעָם֙ בַּבֹּ֔קֶר וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אֶל־שָׂרֵ֣י בָלָ֔ק לְכ֖וּ אֶֽל־אַרְצְכֶ֑ם כִּ֚י מֵאֵ֣ן יְהֹוָ֔ה לְתִתִּ֖י לַהֲלֹ֥ךְ עִמָּכֶֽם׃ (יד) וַיָּק֙וּמוּ֙ שָׂרֵ֣י מוֹאָ֔ב וַיָּבֹ֖אוּ אֶל־בָּלָ֑ק וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ מֵאֵ֥ן בִּלְעָ֖ם הֲלֹ֥ךְ עִמָּֽנוּ׃ (טו) וַיֹּ֥סֶף ע֖וֹד בָּלָ֑ק שְׁלֹ֣חַ שָׂרִ֔ים רַבִּ֥ים וְנִכְבָּדִ֖ים מֵאֵֽלֶּה׃ (טז) וַיָּבֹ֖אוּ אֶל־בִּלְעָ֑ם וַיֹּ֣אמְרוּ ל֗וֹ כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ בָּלָ֣ק בֶּן־צִפּ֔וֹר אַל־נָ֥א תִמָּנַ֖ע מֵהֲלֹ֥ךְ אֵלָֽי׃ (יז) כִּֽי־כַבֵּ֤ד אֲכַבֶּדְךָ֙ מְאֹ֔ד וְכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־תֹּאמַ֥ר אֵלַ֖י אֶֽעֱשֶׂ֑ה וּלְכָה־נָּא֙ קָֽבָה־לִּ֔י אֵ֖ת הָעָ֥ם הַזֶּֽה׃ (יח) וַיַּ֣עַן בִּלְעָ֗ם וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אֶל־עַבְדֵ֣י בָלָ֔ק אִם־יִתֶּן־לִ֥י בָלָ֛ק מְלֹ֥א בֵית֖וֹ כֶּ֣סֶף וְזָהָ֑ב לֹ֣א אוּכַ֗ל לַעֲבֹר֙ אֶת־פִּי֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהָ֔י לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת קְטַנָּ֖ה א֥וֹ גְדוֹלָֽה׃ (יט) וְעַתָּ֗ה שְׁב֨וּ נָ֥א בָזֶ֛ה גַּם־אַתֶּ֖ם הַלָּ֑יְלָה וְאֵ֣דְעָ֔ה מַה־יֹּסֵ֥ף יְהֹוָ֖ה דַּבֵּ֥ר עִמִּֽי׃ (כ) וַיָּבֹ֨א אֱלֹהִ֥ים ׀ אֶל־בִּלְעָם֮ לַ֒יְלָה֒ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ אִם־לִקְרֹ֤א לְךָ֙ בָּ֣אוּ הָאֲנָשִׁ֔ים ק֖וּם לֵ֣ךְ אִתָּ֑ם וְאַ֗ךְ אֶת־הַדָּבָ֛ר אֲשֶׁר־אֲדַבֵּ֥ר אֵלֶ֖יךָ אֹת֥וֹ תַעֲשֶֽׂה׃
(12) But God said to Balaam, “Do not go with them. You must not curse that people, for they are blessed.” (13) Balaam arose in the morning and said to Balak’s dignitaries, “Go back to your own country, for God will not let me go with you.” (14) The Moabite dignitaries left, and they came to Balak and said, “Balaam refused to come with us.” (15) Then Balak sent other dignitaries, more numerous and distinguished than the first. (16) They came to Balaam and said to him, “Thus says Balak son of Zippor: Please do not refuse to come to me. (17) I will reward you richly and I will do anything you ask of me. Only come and damn this people for me.” (18) Balaam replied to Balak’s officials, “Though Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not do anything, big or little, contrary to the command of my God. (19) So you, too, stay here overnight, and let me find out what else God may say to me.” (20) That night God came to Balaam and said to him, “If the agents have come to invite you, you may go with them. But whatever I command you, that you shall do.”
When we feel angry, we generally feel very powerless about something. I think feelings of anger and powerlessness are, in fact, inversely related to each other.... ask yourself what you may feel powerless about... [and then] ask yourself what you are empowered to do.
If God gave Balaam permission to go to Balak, why would God then change course and try to stop Balaam on his journey? In verse 20, God gave Balaam permission to go with the men as long as he only spoke what God told him to speak. The text then says that “when he arose in the morning, Balaam saddled his donkey and departed with the Moabite dignitaries” (Numbers 22:21). The answer lies in the two-letter word “if” in the context, “If these personages have come to invite you, you may go with them” (Numbers 22:20). However, the following morning and without hearing from Balak’s men, Balaam sets out on his journey. Mussar would teach that Balaam shows arrogance and pride instead of humility and sense of mission at exactly the moment at which he saddles his donkey and begins the journey. We are meant to understand that it is Balaam’s initial arrogance and lack of sense of mission that are making God angry—and therefore Balaam’s anger at his donkey is entirely unjustified—and that, in turn, his donkey is right to get angry at him!
When his donkey repeatedly strays from the path, Balaam responds by angrily striking his donkey three times. Balaam is blinded by his anger and unable to see the angel. He is so full of himself, so lost in ego, that he is dumbfounded by the actions of his donkey. If he were thinking clearly, he would have realized that his faithful donkey was trying to tell him something. Gerhard von Rad, a twentieth-century German theologian, has written, “In anger, God’s will is hidden from human eyes.” God is angered, too, but uses the anger to teach Balaam. We read in the Torah that God is “compassionate and gracious” and “slow to anger” (Exodus 34:6). Rather than lashing out at Balaam, God shows mercy by using the donkey to get Balaam’s attention. Balaam does not get his anger under control until God gives the donkey the power of speech. Only after the donkey admonishes his master for striking her does he see the angel. Anger does not allow us to see things clearly or at all. Anger clouds our minds and makes us incapable of rational thought.
(יא) אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּדֵּעוֹת. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, חָסִיד. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, רָשָׁע:
(11) There are four kinds of temperaments: Easy to become angry, and easy to be appeased: his gain disappears in his loss; Hard to become angry, and hard to be appeased: his loss disappears in his gain; Hard to become angry and easy to be appeased: a pious person; Easy to become angry and hard to be appeased: a wicked person.
I am awed, O LORD, by Your deeds.
Renew them in these years,
Oh, make them known in these years!
Though angry, may You remember compassion.
Even if one is aware that another person is doing him evil, and this angers him, if that person has some redeeming quality, for example, he is kind to others, or he possesses some other virtue, this should be sufficient cause for one to dissipate his anger and find the other person pleasing, that is, to delight in the kindness he does. One should say, “It is enough for me that he has this good quality.” . . . A person should say to himself with regard to every man, “It is enough that he has been good to me or to someone else in such-and-such a way, or that he has such-and-such a positive quality.”
“We cannot undo the hardwiring of the brain that makes anger an innate reaction to which we are all subject. What we can do, however, is build parallel networks that balance and inhibit the anger reflex. Since our tendency is to get angry at other people, making it a firm practice to accord honor to others creates a counter-balancing inner pathway. By taking on practices that build up the habits of honoring others, we humanize ourselves, in the sense that we differentiate ourselves from animals, which act only on their innate instincts.”