Illustration Credit: Elad Lifshitz, Dov Abramson Studio

This time of year, between the fast days of 17 Tammuz and 9 Av, is a sad time on the Jewish calendar. It’s sometimes called “the three weeks,” or בֵּין הַמְּצָרִים (Bein Ha-Metzarim), which means “between the bad things”—like you’re trapped.

These “bad things” are listed in the Mishnah (Ta’anit 4:6). On 17 Tammuz, the Jewish people experienced five tragedies, including the walls of Jerusalem being broken by the Romans. On 9 Av, there were also five bad things that happened in Jewish history, including the destruction of the first and the second בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ (Beit Ha-Mikdash, Temple in Jerusalem).

There are many customs that express the sadness of this time. Some apply to the whole three weeks, and others are observed during the week in which 9 Av falls (or sometimes for the first nine days of the month of Av).

Each Shabbat during the three weeks, we read a haftarah connected to the destruction of the Beit Ha-Mikdash (Orah Hayyim 428:8).

The Mishnah (Ta’anit 4:7) says people shouldn’t get a haircut or wash their clothes during the week in which 9 Av falls. This is the custom of many who follow the Shulhan Arukh (Orah Hayyim 551:3).

However, many people in Ashkenazi communities don’t get haircuts for the entire three weeks, following the Rema’s opinion (Orah Hayyim 551:4).

While the Mishnah forbids eating meat and drinking wine on the eve of 9 Av, there is a custom to extend this to the whole nine days period, or to the week in which 9 Av falls.

It’s common to avoid scheduling weddings in the three weeks, and to take a break from attending concerts with live music, or other public festive events. In the nine days, people cut back on even more fun activities, like swimming or traveling.

The Shulhan Arukh (Orah Hayyim 551:17) says not to buy new clothes or eat new fruit during the three weeks. That’s because it’s appropriate to say a שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ (sheheheyanu) blessing for these new things, and that blessing is itself a kind of celebration.

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