Our weekday liturgy begins with many prayers of gratitude. Modeh Ani is about giving thanks for all we are given. Asher Yatzar thanks God for our health. The Nisim B'chol Yom are the miracles we experience each day. These are just a few. Why do we begin our day with prayers of gratitude? How might that help us?
Today we focus on the middah called hakarat hatov, which literally means "recognizing the good." This term implies that good is already present in our lives for us to recognize.
What helps you practice hakarat hatov?
Are there times when it is easier to do than others?
Lawrence Kushner, based on Shemot Rabbah 24:1
Jewish tradition tells us that the splitting of the Red Sea was the greatest miracle ever performed. And yet, we have a midrash that mentions two Israelites, Reuven and Shimon, who had a different experience.
Apparently, the bottom of the sea, though safe to walk on, was not completely dry, but a little muddy, like a beach at low tide.
Reuven stepped into it and curled his lip. "What is this muck?"
Shimon scowled, "There's mud all over this place!"
"This is just like the slime pits of Egypt," cried Reuven.
"What's the difference?" complained Shimon. "Mud here, mud there, it's all the same."
And so it was for the two of them, grumbling all the way across the bottom of the sea. And because they never once looked up, they never understood why, on the distant shore, everyone else was singing songs of praise and thanks. For Shimon and Reuven, the miracle never happened. Let us all remember to look up and sing songs of praise, remembering the miracle of the crossing of the Red Sea, and the miracles which surround us each day.
Rabbi Andrea C. London, "Hakarat HaTov- Gratitude: Acknowledging the Good," Rabbi Barry Block. The Mussar Torah Commentary: A Spiritual Path to Living a Meaningful and Ethical Life (p. 313-314). CCAR Press.
WHEN WE THINK that our good fortune is owed to us because of our hard work, we are less likely to give thanks for what we have. Such thinking is harmful to our souls and detrimental to our impulse toward generosity. Research has found that being grateful makes us happier and more resilient and improves our self-esteem. Physical benefits include better sleep, lower blood pressure, pain reduction, and a greater desire to engage in physical exercise. Interpersonally, gratitude makes us more compassionate, helpful, and kind. Yet because we live in a society in which many of us are blessed with plenty, we often take for granted what we have or take too much credit for acquiring it. It’s often easier to notice what we lack instead of what we have.... Parashat Ki Tavo teaches us how to cultivate the middah of hakarat hatov—“acknowledging the good”—so that we might increase our capacity to be grateful.
1) What got in the way of Shimon an Reuven witnessing and participating in the miracle?
2) Is there anything that gets in the way of focusing on hakarat hatov for you?
3) Why would a person have a hard time focusing on hakarat hatov?
(א) וְהָיָה֙ כִּֽי־תָב֣וֹא אֶל־הָאָ֔רֶץ אֲשֶׁר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לְךָ֖ נַחֲלָ֑ה וִֽירִשְׁתָּ֖הּ וְיָשַׁ֥בְתָּ בָּֽהּ׃ (ב) וְלָקַחְתָּ֞ מֵרֵאשִׁ֣ית ׀ כׇּל־פְּרִ֣י הָאֲדָמָ֗ה אֲשֶׁ֨ר תָּבִ֧יא מֵֽאַרְצְךָ֛ אֲשֶׁ֨ר יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָ֖ךְ וְשַׂמְתָּ֣ בַטֶּ֑נֶא וְהָֽלַכְתָּ֙ אֶל־הַמָּק֔וֹם אֲשֶׁ֤ר יִבְחַר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ לְשַׁכֵּ֥ן שְׁמ֖וֹ שָֽׁם׃ (ג) וּבָאתָ֙ אֶל־הַכֹּהֵ֔ן אֲשֶׁ֥ר יִהְיֶ֖ה בַּיָּמִ֣ים הָהֵ֑ם וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֵלָ֗יו הִגַּ֤דְתִּי הַיּוֹם֙ לַיהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ כִּי־בָ֙אתִי֙ אֶל־הָאָ֔רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר נִשְׁבַּ֧ע יְהֹוָ֛ה לַאֲבֹתֵ֖ינוּ לָ֥תֶת לָֽנוּ׃
Rabbi Andrea C. London, p. 314
Rabbi Ben Hollander taught that this ritual is an annual aliyah, lifting us out of the mire of our daily tasks and redirecting us to recognize the blessings in our lives. “It acknowledged, in Martin Buber’s phrase, God’s constantly renewing gift of the land.” When we are caught up in the daily grind, our focus can be limited, and we might fail to see the goodness all around us or acknowledge the source of that goodness. This ritual is a corrective to our tendency to take for granted, or to take sole credit for, what we have.
In addition to being in this week's Torah portion, the above text is also in our Passover Haggadot. Why do we retell it each year as part of our Passover celebration?
What does the text teach us about gratitude?
Rabbi Andrea London
Each of us can recall moments of gratitude and relief when a painful event has moved into our rearview mirror and no longer has the emotional grip on us that it once had. In Jewish tradition, we recite Birkat HaGomeil after recovering from an illness or having made it safely through a treacherous situation. The blessing states, “Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has bestowed every goodness upon us. . . May the One who has bestowed goodness upon us continue to bestow every goodness upon us forever.” It is then customary to give tzedakah in gratitude for having survived a difficult experience. In the same vein, we read that our gratitude for our liberation should induce us to give to others. “And you shall enjoy, together with the [family of the] Levite and the stranger in your midst, all the bounty that the Eternal you God has bestowed upon you and your household” (Deuteronomy 26:11). At the seder, we say, “Let all who are hungry come and eat,” acknowledging that when we remember our hunger, our compassion for those who are in need flows freely. To grow in empathy toward others, it is not enough to acknowledge our previous difficulty or deprivation. We must also recognize the good fortune that has contributed to our progress lest we become smug or self-congratulatory.
Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness, p.64
There is no limit to what we don’t have, and if that is where we focus, then our lives are inevitably filled with endless dissatisfaction. It is also true that even if we are aware of our gifts, we tend to grow callous to those fine things that pepper our lives, so that after a while we no longer even see that they are there. We come to take the good for granted. When gratitude is a living reality well established in our hearts, however, we constantly refresh our vision so that we make accurate note of the good that surrounds us. This is the ethos that lies behind the ancient proverb, which asks, “Who is rich?” and then answers, “He who rejoices in his own lot.”
Live like that and you will suddenly discover that you want to give thanks for anything or anyone who has benefited you, whether they meant to or not. Imagine a prayer of thanks springing to your lips when the driver in the next car lets you merge without protest, or when there is electricity to light your room, or the food is adequate. Giving thanks can become a flow that waters the fields of life.
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, as quoted in Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness, p.65
"Gratitude rejoices with her sister joy and is always ready to light a candle and have a party. Gratitude doesn’t much like the old cronies of boredom, despair, and taking life for granted.”
W.S. Merwin, "Thanks," The Nation, March 14, 1987
back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you
Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness, p. 73
Although gratitude practice requires that we put our feelings into action, the essence of the soul-trait is the inner attitude we maintain. We learn this from a story told about this same Rabbi Levovitz. The rabbi had a special fund from which his yeshiva students could borrow money. One year a young man borrowed some money to travel home for Passover. On returning to the yeshiva, the student returned the money and expressed his thanks. Immediately his teacher reproached him because there is a Jewish value that when a beneficiary expresses gratitude, he or she diminishes the good deed and undercuts the selflessness of the doer. The boy got the message. The next year, the same boy again borrowed money from the fund to travel home. This time, though, he had learned his lesson and returned the money without a word. “Where’s your gratitude?” Rabbi Levovitz chided him. The baffled student burst out, “But Rebbe, last year I thanked you, and you rebuked me. This year, I didn’t thank you, and again you rebuked me. What am I supposed to do?” His teacher explained, “It is certainly forbidden for you to express any verbal thanks in this situation. But the feeling of gratitude inside you should have been so strong that it would have been hard for you to remain silent. I didn’t see you experiencing any struggle to remain silent.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.
Rabbi Andrea London
Hakarat hatov can also help us to focus more on what we have than on what we lack. Scarcity is not objectively measurable; it is defined by our own perception. Practicing hakarat hatov can shift our perspective from one of lack to one of abundance. This feeling of being blessed with plenty and that our bounty is the product of the fertile soil on which we toil can turn our attitude of “I deserve it” to “I’m fortunate. It hasn’t always been like this. Look how far I’ve come with God’s help. How can I share my blessings with others?”