The Sages taught: The verse states: “But in righteousness shall you judge your colleague” (Leviticus 19:15), from which it is derived: The court must ensure that there will not be a situation where one litigant is sitting and one litigant is standing, or a situation where one litigant says everything that he needs to say to present his case and one litigant, the judge says to him: Curtail your statement. Alternatively, it is derived from the verse: “But in righteousness shall you judge your colleague,” that you should judge another favorably, and seek to find justification for his actions, even if when interpreted differently his actions could be judged unfavorably.
This does not refer to judging litigants in court. Rather, it refers to someone who observes another person doing an action that could be interpreted as either wrongdoing or as a neutral act. You should not suspect him of wrongdoing; rather assume he is innocent.
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 207
Someone who judges others favorably really hopes that her fellow person is guiltless. She seeks ways of understanding the other’s actions as good.
This is the extent to which one must regard another person with a positive attitude and wish to see his actions as issuing from a good source. We should search out another’s positive qualities. This is the opposite of what most people usually do, which is to immediately notice another person’s shortcomings and ignore his strong points.
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for yourself a teacher, and acquire for yourself a friend and judge all people with the scale weighted in their favor.
"and judge every person as meritorious:" Its subject is when there is a person whom you do not know about him if he is righteous or if he is wicked and you see him doing an act or saying something and if you interpret it one way it will be good and if you interpret in another way it will be bad - [in this case,] take it to the good and do not think bad about it. But if the man is known to be famously righteous and of good deeds; and an action of his is seen that all of its aspects indicate that it is a bad deed and a person can only determine it to be good with great stretching and a distant possibility, it is fit that you take it that it is good, since there is some aspect of a possibility that it is good. And it is not permissible for you to suspect him; and about this did they say (Shabbat 97a), "The body of anyone who suspects proper ones will be struck." And so [too] when it is an evildoer and his deeds are famous, and afterwords we see him that he does a deed, all of the indications about which are that it is good but there is an aspect of a distant possibility that it is bad; it is fit to guard oneself from him and not to believe that it is good, since there is a possibility for the bad. And about this is it stated (Proverbs 26:25), (Also) "Though he be fair-spoken do not trust him, etc." But when he is not known and the deed is indeterminate towards one of the two extremes; according to the ways of piety, one must judge a person as meritorious towards whichever extreme of the two extremes [would be the case].
Rabbi Yehoshua Leib Diskin (Maharil Diskin), Teshuvot Maharil vol. I
A town has ten Jewish people living in it. If one person commits a transgression, he breaks down the fence of embarrassment, which had prevented people from sinning until now. If a second person sins, he does not need to break this barrier, and he does not need as much brazenness, because the second person is only sinning in front of eight others, and he has one other who is his accomplice. If a third person sins, he has even less brazenness. Following this principle, the fifth person does not need any brazenness at all …
In telling us to “judge every person positively” [Pirkei Avot 1:6] the Sages are giving us wise advice. This advice is in order that we should not break down the internal barriers of embarrassment that hold us back from transgressions. [How so?] When we view every person as being righteous, then we will hold ourselves back from transgressing [since we will think that no one else is transgressing, so how could we be the first?!] However, when one sees the negative in every person, then he is likely to stumble [since he will think others are transgressing, and therefore it becomes more acceptable in his mind to transgress].
Ba’al Shem Tov Al HaTorah, Vayikra 19:15
When one can find some way of justifying the other person, that argument will stand in their merit as well…We have a tradition that no verdict is ever passed on a person until they themselves issues that verdict. How so? The person is shown someone else doing what they themselves are guilty of, and their reaction to that person’s flaw is what determines the judgment of their own misdeeds.
Brene Brown
When something happens that triggers strong emotions, we often immediately create a story to make sense of what happened. These stories are often one-sided worst-case scenarios, and they seldom contain the full truth. We call this story the Stormy First Draft (SFD).
A SFD is our brain’s way of making sense of something when we don’t have full information. We are a meaning-making species. In the absence of data, we make up stories because having complete information is a self-protective survival skill. But these stories often magnify our fears and anxieties. When we learn how to get curious and reality check the stories we make up, we can increase our resilience and reset faster after failures, setbacks, and disappointments.
Reality checking using the phrase “The story I’m making up” is a powerful tool for personal curiosity and reflection. When we are hooked by emotion, the brain has a hard time focusing on anything else. Being curious and checking the accuracy of a story with others can prevent the story from festering or turning into a bigger problem.