(11) Surely, this Instruction which I enjoin upon you this day is not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. (12) It is not in the heavens, that you should say, “Who among us can go up to the heavens and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (13) Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who among us can cross to the other side of the sea and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (14) No, the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it.
What is the meaning of the word “Teshuvah”? What is the exact etymological significance of the term? In the Bible, the word bears a specific connotation, “at the return of the year“, that is at the termination of the year’s cycle. The word also appears in the following context (I Samuel 7:15-17): “And Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life. And he went from year to year in circuit to Beth-El and Gilgal and Mizpah; and he judged Israel in all those places. And his return (u-teshuvato) was to Ramah, for there was his home and there he judged Israel; and he built there an altar unto the Lord.“ Here, too, the word Teshuvah bears the connotation of completing a circle; after Samuel would make a circuit throughout Israel he would return to Ramah, for there was his home.
Teshuvah, repentance, signifies circular motion. When one finds oneself on the circumference of a large circle, it sometimes seems that the starting point is becoming farther and farther removed, but actually it is getting closer and closer. “At the return of the year,“ on Rosh Hashanah, a new calendar year begins, and with every passing day one gets farther and farther away from the starting point, the New Year. But every passing day is also a return, a drawing nearer to the completion of the year’s cycle, the Rosh Hashanah of the next year. “And his return was to Ramah.“ Samuel went in circuit. The moment he left Ramah, with the goal of making a full circuit of Beth-El, Gilgal and Mizpah, he was already returning to Ramah, for it was there that he made his home; there, in Ramatayim Zofim, lived his mother Hannah; there he had spent his childhood; there were his roots. Samuel was a leader and a judge for all Israel; he made a circuit of all Israel’s scattered living places, but everywhere he went, he was heading for home. He belonged to all of Israel, for the land of Israel was his home, but his true home was only in one place, in Ramah, as it is written, “for there was his home.“ Only there could you construct the altar of his life to God. “And Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life.“ Samuel served as leader and judge in many different places, but the force of his leadership and judgment stemmed from Ramah, from his home: “there he judged Israel.“ No matter how great a man may be, he cannot leave his ancestral home. All of his judgments are derived from there.
This is the secret source of Teshuvah, repentance. An individual Jew cannot sever himself completely from the Holy One. The community of Israel cannot travel in a straight path away from God. It is always on the path to return and repentance – of going away from God and coming back to Him. “In your distress when all these things are come upon you… You will return to the Lord your God.“ The circle may be very large, it may have an immense radius, but those who follow its path always move in a circular direction. [...]
Man may wander about in circles and become entangled in all sorts of vain causes and pursue empty ideas. [...] He makes a circuit of Beth-El, Gilgal and Mizpah, he searches for gods, overturns worlds, and it may appear to him that he can see ahead and is heralding a new and better future – but always and ever “his return is to Ramah, for there is his home.“ [...W]illingly or not, he will return to Ramah, to his home, where his mother Hannah welcomed him with her longing and supplication, where he lay in his cradle and absorbed the affectionate dulcet melodies sung to him by his mother.
(ז) זְכֹר֙ אַל־תִּשְׁכַּ֔ח אֵ֧ת אֲשֶׁר־הִקְצַ֛פְתָּ אֶת־יקוק אֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר לְמִן־הַיּ֞וֹם אֲשֶׁר־יָצָ֣אתָ ׀ מֵאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֗יִם עַד־בֹּֽאֲכֶם֙ עַד־הַמָּק֣וֹם הַזֶּ֔ה מַמְרִ֥ים הֱיִיתֶ֖ם עִם־יקוק׃
(7) Remember, never forget, how you provoked your God יקוק to anger in the wilderness: from the day that you left the land of Egypt until you reached this place, you have continued defiant toward יקוק.
עוּלָּא אָמַר כִּדְרַב הוּנָא דְּאָמַר רַב הוּנָא כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָבַר אָדָם עֲבֵירָה וְשָׁנָה בָּהּ הוּתְּרָה לוֹ הוּתְּרָה לוֹ סָלְקָא דַּעְתָּךְ אֶלָּא נַעֲשֵׂית לוֹ כְּהֶיתֵּר
Ulla said: This should be explained in accordance with a statement of Rav Huna, as Rav Huna says: When a person transgresses and repeats his transgression, it is permitted to him. The Gemara questions this statement: Can it enter your mind that the transgression is permitted to him because he has sinned twice? Rather, it becomes as if it were permitted to him.
אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ: גְּדוֹלָה תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁזְּדוֹנוֹת נַעֲשׂוֹת לוֹ כִּשְׁגָגוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״שׁוּבָה יִשְׂרָאֵל עַד ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ כִּי כָשַׁלְתָּ בַּעֲוֹנֶךָ״, הָא ״עָוֹן״ — מֵזִיד הוּא, וְקָא קָרֵי לֵיהּ מִכְשׁוֹל.
אִינִי?! וְהָאָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ: גְּדוֹלָה תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁזְּדוֹנוֹת נַעֲשׂוֹת לוֹ כִּזְכִיּוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וּבְשׁוּב רָשָׁע מֵרִשְׁעָתוֹ וְעָשָׂה מִשְׁפָּט וּצְדָקָה עֲלֵיהֶם (חָיֹה) יִחְיֶה״! לָא קַשְׁיָא: כָּאן מֵאַהֲבָה, כָּאן מִיִּרְאָה.
Reish Lakish said: Great is repentance, as the penitent’s intentional sins are counted for him as unwitting transgressions, as it is stated: “Return, Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled in your iniquity” (Hosea 14:2). The Gemara analyzes this: Doesn’t “iniquity” mean an intentional sin? Yet the prophet calls it stumbling, implying that one who repents is considered as though he only stumbled accidentally in his transgression.
The Gemara asks: Is that so? Didn’t Reish Lakish himself say: Great is repentance, as one’s intentional sins are counted for him as merits, as it is stated: “And when the wicked turns from his wickedness, and does that which is lawful and right, he shall live thereby” (Ezekiel 33:19), and all his deeds, even his transgressions, will become praiseworthy? The Gemara reconciles: This is not difficult: Here, when one repents out of love, his sins become like merits; there, when one repents out of fear, his sins are counted as unwitting transgressions.
And let us come back;
Renew our days as of old!
[...] לְכָךְ נֶאֱמַר: הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ יקוק אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה. חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם, כְּאָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן, כְּמָה דְאַתְּ אָמַר (בראשית ג, כד): וַיְגָרֶשׁ אֶת הָאָדָם וַיַּשְׁכֵּן מִקֶּדֶם לְגַן עֵדֶן.[...]
[...] That is why it is stated: “Return us to You, Lord, and we will return.”
“Renew our days as of old [kekedem].” Like Adam the first man, just as it says: “He banished the man; He stationed…east [mikedem] of the Garden of Eden” (Genesis 3:24). [...]
(ה) שַׂמֵּחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יקוק, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה:
Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in the Garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Lord, who gives joy to the bridegroom and bride.
And it is this, I think, that makes Kafka’s wit inaccessible to children whom our culture has trained to see jokes as entertainment, and entertainment as reassurance. It’s not that students don’t get Kafka’s humor, but that we’ve taught them to see humor as something you get, the same way we’ve taught them that a self is something you just have. No wonder they cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke that the horrible struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from that horrific struggle. That our endless and impossible journey toward home, is in fact, our home.