Vayishlach - Walking the Path to Reconciliation - on Eggshells

(1) TO ESAU HIS BROTHER UNTO THE LAND SE’IR. Since the southern part of the Land of Israel adjoins Edom, and Jacob’s father dwelt in the land of the South, he had to pass through Edom or near there. Therefore, he feared lest Esau hear of it, and he took the initiative by sending messengers to him in his country.

(2) כה אמר עבדך יעקב, “thus has said your obedient servant Yaakov;” Yaakov used this subservient posture in order to cool Esau’s burning anger at what he perceived that Yaakov had done to him. He hinted broadly that his father’s blessing which had portrayed Esau as subservient to him had not been fulfilled at all. In fact, he, Yaakov, was quite ready to recognise his older brother as also his senior.

(1) לאדני, לעשו, “to my lord, to Esau.” We find Yaakov addressing Esau as “my lord,” no fewer than eight times in this portion. This may be the reason why eight kings ruled in the land of Edom before the first king ruled in the land of Israel.

(2) Actually, if the Torah had followed its own rules, it should have mentioned the sheep first, i.e. צאן וחמור, שור seeing that the category called צאן, i.e. sheep and goats, is the most superior species amongst the animals. [Various cites to instances where sheep are mentioned first.] If Yaakov did not want to mention his sheep and goats first this was because Esau had “lost” his blessing on account of these goats. Rivkah had sent Yaakov to the צאן, instructing him to select two good goats to prepare a meal for Yitzchak which could compete with the venison Esau was expected to hunt. Mentioning the צאן first would have sounded like rubbing salt in Esau’s wound.

1) THEN JACOB WAS GREATLY AFRAID. [Jacob] greatly feared for his life, for he said, “He has not taken all these men except for the purpose of waging war against me.”

It appears to me in this matter that Esau did not receive the messengers properly and paid them no heed. Perhaps they did not even come before him for he did not at all give permission for them to come before him and speak to him for otherwise, Scripture would have related that Esau questioned them concerning his brother’s welfare and about his circumstances and those of his household and children.

(1) ויירא יעקב, “Yaakov was greatly afraid;” seeing that Yaakov had had many assurances from G–d, why would he be afraid of the encounter with his brother Esau? He realised –belatedly-that he had erred in staying with Lavan after having completed his 14 years of service, in order to marry. During the years when he had worked to amass material wealth, his brother Esau had performed the commandment of honouring father and mother. He was afraid that he did not have sufficient merits to overcome Esau’s lead in that department.

(14) After spending the night there, he selected from what was at hand these presents for his brother Esau: (15) 200 she-goats and 20 he-goats; 200 ewes and 20 rams; (16) 30 milch camels with their colts; 40 cows and 10 bulls; 20 she-asses and 10 he-asses. (17) These he put in the charge of his servants, drove by drove, and he told his servants, “Go on ahead, and keep a distance between droves.” (18) He instructed the one in front as follows, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, ‘Who’s your master? Where are you going? And whose [animals] are these ahead of you?’ (19) you shall answer, ‘Your servant Jacob’s; they are a gift sent to my lord Esau; and [Jacob] himself is right behind us.’” (20) He gave similar instructions to the second one, and the third, and all the others who followed the droves, namely, “Thus and so shall you say to Esau when you reach him. (21) And you shall add, ‘And your servant Jacob himself is right behind us.’” For he reasoned, “If I propitiate him with presents in advance, and then face him, perhaps he will show me favor.”

(1) ויותר יעקב AND JACOB WAS LEFT ALONE — . Our Rabbis of blessed memory explained that he was Esau’s guardian angel.

(2) וישקהו AND HE KISSED HIM — Dots are placed above the letters of this word, and a difference of opinion is expressed ... as to what these dots are intended to suggest: some explain the dotting as meaning that he did not kiss him with his whole heart, whereas R Simeon the son of Johai said: Is it not well-known that Esau hated Jacob? But at that moment his pity was really aroused and he kissed him with his whole heart.

(1) וירץ, when Esau saw that Yaakov had humbled himself so much before him, he forgave what he had done to him and his sense of compassion was stirred. (2) וישקהו, the word has a dot on each of the letters. ... Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says that everywhere where you find the dots do not cover each letter of the word underneath we give preference to the meaning of the text as is, without the dots. When there are more dots than letters, we give emphasis in our interpretation to the dots. In this instance, there are as many dots as there are letters in the word וישקהו, so that we understand that Esau kissed Esau sincerely with all his heart. To this Rabbi Yannai countered by asking that if this is indeed so, why bother to put any dots on the word if they do not affect the meaning? We therefore must interpret that originally Esau had intended to bite Yaakov’s neck feigning an embrace. G’d made his teeth as soft as wax and Yaakov’s neck as hard as ivory. ויבכו, one on account of his neck, the other on account of his teeth.

(1) WHY THIS? LET ME FIND FAVOUR IN THE EYES OF MY LORD.
Our Rabbis have further seen an advisory aspect in this entire chapter. Thus they have said: “Before embarking on a journey to the Roman ruler, Rabbi Yanai would peruse this section of the Torah, and he never took Romans with him as an escort on the return journey. One time he did not peruse this section and he took Romans with him, and he had not yet reached Acco when he was compelled to sell his travelling cloak for bribery money.” ... Thus he would not accept the company of the Romans as an escort for they draw no man near to them except for their own interest and take liberties with people’s belongings.