Context: "Tamar" means "palm tree". These are date palms from near Jericho (June 2023).
The Story of Tamar and Judah "on one foot":
After Joseph was sold to the Ishmaelites, Judah separates from his brothers and gets married. This story explains what happens to Judah's daughter-in-law.
Act 1
(1) About that time Judah left his brothers and camped near a certain Adullamite whose name was Hirah. (2) There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua, and he took her [into his household as wife] and cohabited with her. (3) She conceived and bore a son, and he named him Er. (4) She conceived again and bore a son, and named him Onan. (5) Once again she bore a son, and named him Shelah; he was at Chezib when she bore him. (6) Judah got a wife for Er his first-born; her name was Tamar. (7) But Er, Judah’s first-born, was displeasing to יהוה, and יהוה took his life. (8) Then Judah said to Onan, “Join with your brother’s wife and do your duty by her as a brother-in-law, and provide offspring for your brother.” (9) But Onan, knowing that the offspring would not count as his, let [the semen] go to waste whenever he joined with his brother’s wife, so as not to provide offspring for his brother. (10) What he did was displeasing to יהוה, who took his life also. (11) Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Stay as a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up”—for he thought, “He too might die like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.
Context: This happens after Joseph gets sold to the Ishmaelites by his brothers and the brothers tell Jacob that his son has died. The Midrash wonders why the story is put here and concludes that Judah is going to find out what it’s like to have a child die just like he inflicted that pain on Jacob. (Tanchuma Buber, Vayigash 10:3)
Note that Judah marries the daughter of Shua; Shua is not the name of his wife. The Midrash names Judah’s wife “Aliyah” (Sefer HaYashar, Vayeshev 22). “Tamar” means “date palm”, which flowers in the desert and has fruit that is super-sweet. The idea of an unmarried brother marrying his deceased brother’s wife is called “yibbum”, or “levirate marriage”, and both ensures that the deceased has a continued lineage and also that the widow stays part of the clan. Levirate marriage only applies if the deceased brother did not already have a child. Later in the Torah there was a way to refuse to do levirate marriage (Deut. 25:7-9), but that doesn’t seem to have been an option here.
1. At what points could this part of the story have turned out differently?
2. Since the text is silent on this, make up a midrash -- what might Er have done that was displeasing to G-d?
3. How might Tamar have felt about Onan's refusal to give her a child that would be considered his brother's lineage?
4. Why might Onan have not wanted to give a child to his brother's lineage?
5. Should Judah have given his youngest son to Tamar as a spouse? And if he didn’t want to, what could he have done instead?
Act 2
(יב) וַיִּרְבּוּ֙ הַיָּמִ֔ים וַתָּ֖מׇת בַּת־שׁ֣וּעַ אֵֽשֶׁת־יְהוּדָ֑ה וַיִּנָּ֣חֶם יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיַּ֜עַל עַל־גֹּֽזְזֵ֤י צֹאנוֹ֙ ה֗וּא וְחִירָ֛ה רֵעֵ֥הוּ הָעֲדֻלָּמִ֖י תִּמְנָֽתָה׃ (יג) וַיֻּגַּ֥ד לְתָמָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֑ר הִנֵּ֥ה חָמִ֛יךְ עֹלֶ֥ה תִמְנָ֖תָה לָגֹ֥ז צֹאנֽוֹ׃ (יד) וַתָּ֩סַר֩ בִּגְדֵ֨י אַלְמְנוּתָ֜הּ מֵֽעָלֶ֗יהָ וַתְּכַ֤ס בַּצָּעִיף֙ וַתִּתְעַלָּ֔ף וַתֵּ֙שֶׁב֙ בְּפֶ֣תַח עֵינַ֔יִם אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־דֶּ֣רֶךְ תִּמְנָ֑תָה כִּ֤י רָאֲתָה֙ כִּֽי־גָדַ֣ל שֵׁלָ֔ה וְהִ֕וא לֹֽא־נִתְּנָ֥ה ל֖וֹ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃ (טו) וַיִּרְאֶ֣הָ יְהוּדָ֔ה וַֽיַּחְשְׁבֶ֖הָ לְזוֹנָ֑ה כִּ֥י כִסְּתָ֖ה פָּנֶֽיהָ׃ (טז) וַיֵּ֨ט אֵלֶ֜יהָ אֶל־הַדֶּ֗רֶךְ וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הָֽבָה־נָּא֙ אָב֣וֹא אֵלַ֔יִךְ כִּ֚י לֹ֣א יָדַ֔ע כִּ֥י כַלָּת֖וֹ הִ֑וא וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ מַה־תִּתֶּן־לִ֔י כִּ֥י תָב֖וֹא אֵלָֽי׃ (יז) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אָנֹכִ֛י אֲשַׁלַּ֥ח גְּדִֽי־עִזִּ֖ים מִן־הַצֹּ֑אן וַתֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־תִּתֵּ֥ן עֵרָב֖וֹן עַ֥ד שָׁלְחֶֽךָ׃ (יח) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מָ֣ה הָעֵֽרָבוֹן֮ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶתֶּן־לָךְ֒ וַתֹּ֗אמֶר חֹתָֽמְךָ֙ וּפְתִילֶ֔ךָ וּמַטְּךָ֖ אֲשֶׁ֣ר בְּיָדֶ֑ךָ וַיִּתֶּן־לָ֛הּ וַיָּבֹ֥א אֵלֶ֖יהָ וַתַּ֥הַר לֽוֹ׃ (יט) וַתָּ֣קׇם וַתֵּ֔לֶךְ וַתָּ֥סַר צְעִיפָ֖הּ מֵעָלֶ֑יהָ וַתִּלְבַּ֖שׁ בִּגְדֵ֥י אַלְמְנוּתָֽהּ׃ (כ) וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח יְהוּדָ֜ה אֶת־גְּדִ֣י הָֽעִזִּ֗ים בְּיַד֙ רֵעֵ֣הוּ הָֽעֲדֻלָּמִ֔י לָקַ֥חַת הָעֵרָב֖וֹן מִיַּ֣ד הָאִשָּׁ֑ה וְלֹ֖א מְצָאָֽהּ׃ (כא) וַיִּשְׁאַ֞ל אֶת־אַנְשֵׁ֤י מְקֹמָהּ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אַיֵּ֧ה הַקְּדֵשָׁ֛ה הִ֥וא בָעֵינַ֖יִם עַל־הַדָּ֑רֶךְ וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ לֹא־הָיְתָ֥ה בָזֶ֖ה קְדֵשָֽׁה׃ (כב) וַיָּ֙שׇׁב֙ אֶל־יְהוּדָ֔ה וַיֹּ֖אמֶר לֹ֣א מְצָאתִ֑יהָ וְגַ֨ם אַנְשֵׁ֤י הַמָּקוֹם֙ אָֽמְר֔וּ לֹא־הָיְתָ֥ה בָזֶ֖ה קְדֵשָֽׁה׃ (כג) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהוּדָה֙ תִּֽקַּֽח־לָ֔הּ פֶּ֖ן נִהְיֶ֣ה לָב֑וּז הִנֵּ֤ה שָׁלַ֙חְתִּי֙ הַגְּדִ֣י הַזֶּ֔ה וְאַתָּ֖ה לֹ֥א מְצָאתָֽהּ׃
(12) A long time afterward, Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died. When his period of mourning was over, Judah went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, together with his friend Hirah the Adullamite. (13) And Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is coming up to Timnah for the sheepshearing.” (14) So she took off her widow’s garb, covered her face with a veil, and, wrapping herself up, sat down at the entrance to Enaim [or at “Petach Enayim”], which is on the road to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him as wife. (15) When Judah saw her, he took her for a harlot; for she had covered her face. (16) So he turned aside to her by the road and said, “Here, let me sleep with you”—for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. “What,” she asked, “will you pay for sleeping with me?” (17) He replied, “I will send a kid from my flock.” But she said, “You must leave a pledge until you have sent it.” (18) And he said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your seal and cord, and the staff which you carry.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she conceived by him. (19) Then she went on her way. She took off her veil and again put on her widow’s garb. (20) Judah sent the kid by his friend the Adullamite, to redeem the pledge from the woman; but he could not find her. (21) He inquired of the council of that locale, “Where is the prostitute, the one at Enaim, by the road?” But they said, “There has been no prostitute here.” (22) So he returned to Judah and said, “I could not find her; moreover, the local council said: There has been no prostitute here.” (23) Judah said, “Let her keep them, lest we become a laughingstock. I did send her this kid, but you did not find her.”
Context: At this point in the story, Tamar is associated with the death of two husbands. She has no spouse and no children, and she can’t remarry because she is supposed to be waiting for Shelah to be given to her in marriage.
A “seal and cord” was a hard hollow cylinder that people wore around their necks with a unique design on it. It functioned like a signature. Walking sticks also had unique markings or additions to them. These all have been found by archeologists in the Near East.
1. At what points could this part of the story have turned out differently?
2. Tamar, like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Hannah, has no child, particularly not one connected with her (first) husband. What were her options?
3. Avoiding the Sarah Route (resignation), the Rebecca Route (delegation of prayer), the Rachel Route (despair), and the Hannah Route (prayer), Tamar takes action. How might she have been feeling before Judah encountered her?
4. Why is Judah worried about becoming a laughingstock?
5. The phrase “sat down at the entrance to Eynayim” could also be translated as “sat down at ‘Petach Eynayim’ “, meaning “sat down at ‘Opening the Eyes’ “. Whose eyes are opened at this spot and how? Whose eyes are deceived?
Act 3
(24) About three months later, Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot; in fact, she is pregnant from harlotry.” “Bring her out,” said Judah. “She should be burned!” (25) As she was being brought out, she sent this message to her father-in-law, “It’s by the man to whom these belong that I’m pregnant.” And she added, “Examine these: whose seal and cord and staff are these?” (26) Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more in the right than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he was not intimate with her again. (27) When the time came for her to give birth, there were twins in her womb! (28) While she was in labor, one of them put out a hand, and the midwife tied a crimson thread on that hand, to signify: This one came out first. (29) But just then it drew back its hand, and out came its brother; and she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” So he was named Perez. (30) Afterward his brother came out, on whose hand was the crimson thread; he was named Zerach.
Context: Although Shelah doesn’t get married to Tamar (one of Judah’s goals), he must have gotten married because he is recorded as having a “clan” of descendants in Numbers (26:22). Also, because Peretz becomes a key figure, he gets a name explanation, though “Zerach” means “brightness” and that might refer to the crimson thread.
1. At what points could this part of the story have turned out differently?
2. Was it more or less effective to not call out Judah publicly?
3. Would you say that Tamar handled her situation well or did she make some poor choices?
4. Act 3 builds on what happened in Act 2 at “Petach Eynayim”, “Opening the Eyes”. How have Tamar’s eyes been opened now? How have Judah’s eyes been opened?
5. In Act 2, Tamar assumes a disguise in order to get what she wants. Yet this disguise also costs her, nearly causing her to lose her life. Only when she reveals who she is under the disguise and gets Judah to see who she really is can she move on without hiding herself. When has this happened in your life?
Epilogue
Context: This is from the Book of Ruth. It shows that because of Tamar’s actions, we get to David. David becomes the ancestor of the Messiah. Tamar (and Ruth) is active in determining her fate, and her boldness is rewarded.
Context: This is by Alicia Jo Rabins, part of her "Girls in Trouble" musical midrash.
With appreciation to: Listen to Her Voice, by Miki Raver, Sarah Laughed, by Vanessa Ochs, Reading the Women of the Bible, by Tikva Frymer-Kensky, and Etz Chayim, by God.
A Readers’ Theatre Version of Tamar
Adapted from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 38, by David Schwartz
Act 1
(Setting: Canaan)
Narrator: Judah married and had three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah. He married Er to Tamar. Er died.
Judah: Onan, marry Tamar and provide a child for your brother’s lineage.
Narrator: Onan married Tamar, but he refused to provide a child for Er’s lineage. Onan died too.
Judah: Tamar, you should go live in your father’s house until Shelah is old enough to get married.
Narrator: Judah was worried that if Shelah married Tamar then he would die like his brothers. And Tamar went to live in her father’s house.
Act 2
(Setting: A crossroads)
Narrator: A long time later, Judah’s wife died. After he had mourned for her, Judah went up to Timnah to shear his sheep.
Person: Tamar, your father-in-law is coming up to Timnah for the sheepshearing.
Narrator: Tamar saw that Shelah was old enough to get married yet hadn’t been given to her in marriage yet. She took off her widow’s garb, covered her face with a veil, wrapped herself up, and sat down at Petach Eynayim, on the way to Timnah. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, for her face was covered.
Judah: Let me be intimate with you.
Tamar: What will you pay me?
Judah: I will send a kid goat from my flock.
Tamar: You must leave a pledge until you have sent it.
Judah: What pledge shall I give you?
Tamar: Your seal and cord, and the staff which you carry.
Narrator: Judah gave these to her; they were intimate and she conceived. Then she went on her way. She took off her veil and put on her widow’s garb. Judah sent a goat with his friend Hiram in order to redeem his pledge, but Hiram couldn’t find the woman. He asked the council of the locale about her.
Council: There has been no harlot here.
Hiram: Judah, I couldn’t find her, and the council said there wasn’t a harlot in the area.
Judah: Let her keep the pledges then. I sent the goat, but you weren’t able to find her.
Act 3
(Setting: Canaan)
Narrator: Three months went by.
Person: Judah, your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot. In fact, she is pregnant from harlotry.
Judah: Bring her out. She should be burned!
Tamar: Judah, it’s by the man to whom these belong that I am pregnant. Examine these: whose seal and cord and staff are these?
Judah: She is more in the right than I, inasmuch as I did not give her my son Shelah.
Narrator: Six months later, Tamar gave birth to twins. One put out his hand first, and the midwife tied a red string on it, but then it drew back its hand and the other one came out first. The one fully born first was named Peretz, and the one with the red string was named Zerach.
Appendix A: The Full Story
Appendix B: The version in Numbers and I Chronicles
(ג) בְּנֵ֣י יְהוּדָ֗ה עֵ֤ר וְאוֹנָן֙ וְשֵׁלָ֔ה שְׁלוֹשָׁה֙ נ֣וֹלַד ל֔וֹ מִבַּת־שׁ֖וּעַ הַֽכְּנַעֲנִ֑ית וַיְהִ֞י עֵ֣ר ׀ בְּכ֣וֹר יְהוּדָ֗ה רַ֛ע בְּעֵינֵ֥י יְהֹוָ֖ה וַיְמִיתֵֽהוּ׃ {ס} (ד) וְתָמָר֙ כַּלָּת֔וֹ יָ֥לְדָה לּ֖וֹ אֶת־פֶּ֣רֶץ וְאֶת־זָ֑רַח כׇּל־בְּנֵ֥י יְהוּדָ֖ה חֲמִשָּֽׁה׃ {ס} (ה) בְּנֵי־פֶ֖רֶץ חֶצְר֥וֹן וְחָמֽוּל׃ {ס} (ו) וּבְנֵ֣י זֶ֗רַח זִ֠מְרִ֠י וְאֵיתָ֧ן וְהֵימָ֛ן וְכַלְכֹּ֥ל וָדָ֖רַע כֻּלָּ֥ם חֲמִשָּֽׁה׃ {ס}
(1) These are the sons of Israel: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, (2) Dan, Joseph, Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. (3) The sons of Judah: Er, Onan, and Shelah; these three, Bath-shua the Canaanite woman bore to him. But Er, Judah’s first-born, was displeasing to the LORD, and God took his life. (4) His daughter-in-law Tamar also bore him Perez and Zerah. Judah’s sons were five in all. (5) The sons of Perez: Hezron and Hamul. (6) The sons of Zerah: Zimri, Ethan, Heman, Calcol, and Dara, five in all.
Appendix C: Midrash on Er's Error
Based on Yevamot 34b:4