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Vayigash - The Hidden Wisdom of Embracing
(א) וְלֹֽא־יָכֹ֨ל יוֹסֵ֜ף לְהִתְאַפֵּ֗ק לְכֹ֤ל הַנִּצָּבִים֙ עָלָ֔יו וַיִּקְרָ֕א הוֹצִ֥יאוּ כׇל־אִ֖ישׁ מֵעָלָ֑י וְלֹא־עָ֤מַד אִישׁ֙ אִתּ֔וֹ בְּהִתְוַדַּ֥ע יוֹסֵ֖ף אֶל־אֶחָֽיו׃ (ב) וַיִּתֵּ֥ן אֶת־קֹל֖וֹ בִּבְכִ֑י וַיִּשְׁמְע֣וּ מִצְרַ֔יִם וַיִּשְׁמַ֖ע בֵּ֥ית פַּרְעֹֽה׃ (ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יוֹסֵ֤ף אֶל־אֶחָיו֙ אֲנִ֣י יוֹסֵ֔ף הַע֥וֹד אָבִ֖י חָ֑י וְלֹֽא־יָכְל֤וּ אֶחָיו֙ לַעֲנ֣וֹת אֹת֔וֹ כִּ֥י נִבְהֲל֖וּ מִפָּנָֽיו׃ (ד) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יוֹסֵ֧ף אֶל־אֶחָ֛יו גְּשׁוּ־נָ֥א אֵלַ֖י וַיִּגָּ֑שׁוּ וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אֲנִי֙ יוֹסֵ֣ף אֲחִיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־מְכַרְתֶּ֥ם אֹתִ֖י מִצְרָֽיְמָה׃ (ה) וְעַתָּ֣ה ׀ אַל־תֵּעָ֣צְב֗וּ וְאַל־יִ֙חַר֙ בְּעֵ֣ינֵיכֶ֔ם כִּֽי־מְכַרְתֶּ֥ם אֹתִ֖י הֵ֑נָּה כִּ֣י לְמִֽחְיָ֔ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֱלֹקִ֖ים לִפְנֵיכֶֽם׃

(1) Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace. (3) Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumbfounded were they on account of him. (4) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt. (5) Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.

וְעַתָּ֗ה לֹֽא־אַתֶּ֞ם שְׁלַחְתֶּ֤ם אֹתִי֙ הֵ֔נָּה כִּ֖י הָאֱלֹקִ֑ים וַיְשִׂימֵ֨נִֽי לְאָ֜ב לְפַרְעֹ֗ה וּלְאָדוֹן֙ לְכׇל־בֵּית֔וֹ וּמֹשֵׁ֖ל בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃ מַהֲרוּ֮ וַעֲל֣וּ אֶל־אָבִי֒ וַאֲמַרְתֶּ֣ם אֵלָ֗יו כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ בִּנְךָ֣ יוֹסֵ֔ף שָׂמַ֧נִי אֱלֹקִ֛ים לְאָד֖וֹן לְכׇל־מִצְרָ֑יִם רְדָ֥ה אֵלַ֖י אַֽל־תַּעֲמֹֽד׃ וְיָשַׁבְתָּ֣ בְאֶֽרֶץ־גֹּ֗שֶׁן וְהָיִ֤יתָ קָרוֹב֙ אֵלַ֔י אַתָּ֕ה וּבָנֶ֖יךָ וּבְנֵ֣י בָנֶ֑יךָ וְצֹאנְךָ֥ וּבְקָרְךָ֖ וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁר־לָֽךְ׃ וְכִלְכַּלְתִּ֤י אֹֽתְךָ֙ שָׁ֔ם כִּי־ע֛וֹד חָמֵ֥שׁ שָׁנִ֖ים רָעָ֑ב פֶּן־תִּוָּרֵ֛שׁ אַתָּ֥ה וּבֵֽיתְךָ֖ וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁר־לָֽךְ׃ וְהִנֵּ֤ה עֵֽינֵיכֶם֙ רֹא֔וֹת וְעֵינֵ֖י אָחִ֣י בִנְיָמִ֑ין כִּי־פִ֖י הַֽמְדַבֵּ֥ר אֲלֵיכֶֽם׃ וְהִגַּדְתֶּ֣ם לְאָבִ֗י אֶת־כׇּל־כְּבוֹדִי֙ בְּמִצְרַ֔יִם וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר רְאִיתֶ֑ם וּמִֽהַרְתֶּ֛ם וְהוֹרַדְתֶּ֥ם אֶת־אָבִ֖י הֵֽנָּה׃

So, it was not you who sent me here, but God—who has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his household, and ruler over the whole land of Egypt. “Now, hurry back to my father and say to him: Thus says your son Joseph, ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me without delay. You will dwell in the region of Goshen, where you will be near me—you and your children and your grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all that is yours. There I will provide for you—for there are yet five years of famine to come—that you and your household and all that is yours may not suffer want.’ You can see for yourselves, and my brother Benjamin for himself, that it is indeed I who am speaking to you. And you must tell my father everything about my high station in Egypt and all that you have seen; and bring my father here with all speed.”

(יד) וַיִּפֹּ֛ל עַל־צַוְּארֵ֥י בִנְיָמִֽן־אָחִ֖יו וַיֵּ֑בְךְּ וּבִ֨נְיָמִ֔ן בָּכָ֖ה עַל־צַוָּארָֽיו׃ (טו) וַיְנַשֵּׁ֥ק לְכׇל־אֶחָ֖יו וַיֵּ֣בְךְּ עֲלֵהֶ֑ם וְאַ֣חֲרֵי כֵ֔ן דִּבְּר֥וּ אֶחָ֖יו אִתּֽוֹ׃

(14) With that he embraced his brother Benjamin around the neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. (15) He kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; only then were his brothers able to talk to him.

וּקְח֧וּ אֶת־אֲבִיכֶ֛ם וְאֶת־בָּתֵּיכֶ֖ם וּבֹ֣אוּ אֵלָ֑י וְאֶתְּנָ֣ה לָכֶ֗ם אֶת־טוּב֙ אֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם וְאִכְל֖וּ אֶת־חֵ֥לֶב הָאָֽרֶץ׃ וְאַתָּ֥ה צֻוֵּ֖יתָה זֹ֣את עֲשׂ֑וּ קְחוּ־לָכֶם֩ מֵאֶ֨רֶץ מִצְרַ֜יִם עֲגָל֗וֹת לְטַפְּכֶם֙ וְלִנְשֵׁיכֶ֔ם וּנְשָׂאתֶ֥ם אֶת־אֲבִיכֶ֖ם וּבָאתֶֽם׃ וְעֵ֣ינְכֶ֔ם אַל־תָּחֹ֖ס עַל־כְּלֵיכֶ֑ם כִּי־ט֛וּב כׇּל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם לָכֶ֥ם הֽוּא׃ וַיַּֽעֲשׂוּ־כֵן֙ בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וַיִּתֵּ֨ן לָהֶ֥ם יוֹסֵ֛ף עֲגָל֖וֹת עַל־פִּ֣י פַרְעֹ֑ה וַיִּתֵּ֥ן לָהֶ֛ם צֵדָ֖ה לַדָּֽרֶךְ׃ לְכֻלָּ֥ם נָתַ֛ן לָאִ֖ישׁ חֲלִפ֣וֹת שְׂמָלֹ֑ת וּלְבִנְיָמִ֤ן נָתַן֙ שְׁלֹ֣שׁ מֵא֣וֹת כֶּ֔סֶף וְחָמֵ֖שׁ חֲלִפֹ֥ת שְׂמָלֹֽת׃ וּלְאָבִ֞יו שָׁלַ֤ח כְּזֹאת֙ עֲשָׂרָ֣ה חֲמֹרִ֔ים נֹשְׂאִ֖ים מִטּ֣וּב מִצְרָ֑יִם וְעֶ֣שֶׂר אֲתֹנֹ֡ת נֹֽ֠שְׂאֹ֠ת בָּ֣ר וָלֶ֧חֶם וּמָז֛וֹן לְאָבִ֖יו לַדָּֽרֶךְ׃ וַיְשַׁלַּ֥ח אֶת־אֶחָ֖יו וַיֵּלֵ֑כוּ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲלֵהֶ֔ם אַֽל־תִּרְגְּז֖וּ בַּדָּֽרֶךְ׃

Take your father and your households and come to me; I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you shall live off the fat of the land.’ And you are bidden [to add], ‘Do as follows: take from the land of Egypt wagons for your children and your wives, and bring your father here. And never mind your belongings, for the best of all the land of Egypt shall be yours.’” The sons of Israel did so; Joseph gave them wagons as Pharaoh had commanded, and he supplied them with provisions for the journey. To each of them, moreover, he gave a change of clothing; but to Benjamin he gave three hundred pieces of silver and several changes of clothing. And to his father he sent the following: ten he-asses laden with the best things of Egypt, and ten she-asses laden with grain, bread, and provisions for his father on the journey. As he sent his brothers off on their way, he told them, “Do not be quarrelsome on the way.”

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Give the best of what you have.

״וּלְאָבִיו שָׁלַח כְּזֹאת עֲשָׂרָה חֲמוֹרִים נוֹשְׂאִים מִטּוּב מִצְרָיִם״. מַאי ״מִטּוּב מִצְרָיִם״? אָמַר רַבִּי בִּנְיָמִין בַּר יֶפֶת אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר: שָׁלַח לוֹ יַיִן [יָשָׁן], שֶׁדַּעַת זְקֵנִים נוֹחָה הֵימֶנּוּ.

The verse states: “And to his father he sent after this manner ten donkeys laden with the good things of Egypt” (Genesis 45:23). The Gemara asks: What are “the good things of Egypt” that are mentioned but not specified here? Rabbi Binyamin bar Yefet said that Rabbi Elazar said: He sent him aged wine, which the elders find pleasing.

(ב) מטוב מצרים. מָצִינוּ בַתַּלְמוּד שֶׁשָּׁלַח לוֹ יַיִן יָשָׁן שֶׁדַּעַת זְקֵנִים נוֹחָה הֵימֶנּוּ, וּמִדְרַשׁ אַגָּדָה גְּרִיסִין שֶׁל פּוּל:
(2) מטוב מצרים OF THE BEST THINGS OF EGYPT — We find it stated in the Talmud (Megillah 16b) that he sent him old wine which old people like very much. The Midrash states that he sent him split beans. (Genesis Rabbah 94:2).
והוי מקבל את כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות כיצד מלמד שאם נתן אדם לחבירו כל מתנות טובות שבעולם ופניו (זעומות) [כבושים] בארץ מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו לא נתן לו כלום אבל המקבל את חבירו בסבר פנים יפות אפי' לא נתן לו כלום מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו נתן לו כל מתנות טובות שבעולם:
Greet everyone with a smile. How so? This teaches that if a person gives his friend all the finest gifts in the world, but does so with a pained face, Scripture considers it as if he had given him nothing. But one who receives his friend with a smile, even if he gives him nothing, Scripture considers it as if he had given him all the finest gifts in the world.

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Think long-term and gain a sense of perspective.
Speak honestly and let your heart be true.

״וַיִּפּוֹל עַל צַוְּארֵי בִנְיָמִן אָחִיו״. כַּמָּה צַוָּארִין הֲווֹ לֵיהּ לְבִנְיָמִין? אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר: בָּכָה עַל שְׁנֵי מִקְדָּשִׁים שֶׁעֲתִידִין לִהְיוֹת בְּחֶלְקוֹ שֶׁל בִּנְיָמִין וַעֲתִידִין לֵיחָרֵב. ״וּבִנְיָמִין בָּכָה עַל צַוָּארָיו״ — בָּכָה עַל מִשְׁכַּן שִׁילֹה, שֶׁעָתִיד לִהְיוֹת בְּחֶלְקוֹ שֶׁל יוֹסֵף וְעָתִיד לֵיחָרֵב. ״וְהִנֵּה עֵינֵיכֶם רוֹאוֹת וְעֵינֵי אָחִי בִנְיָמִין״. אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר, אָמַר לָהֶם: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאֵין בְּלִבִּי עַל בִּנְיָמִין אָחִי, שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה בִּמְכִירָתִי, כָּךְ אֵין בְּלִבִּי עֲלֵיכֶם. ״כִּי פִי הַמְדַבֵּר אֲלֵיכֶם״. כְּפִי — כֵּן לִבִּי.
The Gemara elaborates on certain elements in the story of Joseph and his brothers. The verse states with regard to Joseph: “And he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck [tzavarei] and wept” (Genesis 45:14). The wording of the verse gives rise to a question, as the word tzavarei is plural, meaning necks: How many necks did Benjamin have, such that the verse should use the plural tzavarei rather than the singular tzavar? Rabbi Elazar said: This intimates that Joseph cried over the two Temples that were destined to be in the tribal territory of Benjamin and were destined to be destroyed. The same verse continues: “And Benjamin wept on his neck” (Genesis 45:14); he cried over the tabernacle of Shiloh that was destined to be in the tribal territory of Joseph and was destined to be destroyed. The verse states: “And behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin” (Genesis 45:12). Rabbi Elazar said: Joseph said to his brothers as follows: Just as I certainly harbor no resentment in my heart toward my brother Benjamin, for he was not even present when I was sold, so too, I harbor no resentment toward you. The verse continues: “That it is my mouth [ki fi] that speaks to you” (Genesis 45:12), i.e., As my mouth [kefi] is, so is my heart.

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Focus on what you have learned.

״אַל תִּרְגְּזוּ בַּדָּרֶךְ״, אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר, אָמַר לָהֶם יוֹסֵף לְאֶחָיו: אַל תִּתְעַסְּקוּ בִּדְבַר הֲלָכָה, שֶׁמָּא תְּרַגְּזוּ עֲלֵיכֶם הַדֶּרֶךְ. אִינִי? וְהָאָמַר רַבִּי אִלְעַאי בַּר בֶּרֶכְיָה: שְׁנֵי תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים שֶׁמְּהַלְּכִים בַּדֶּרֶךְ וְאֵין בֵּינֵיהֶן דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה — רְאוּיִין לִישָּׂרֵף, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיְהִי הֵמָּה הֹלְכִים הָלוֹךְ וְדַבֵּר וְהִנֵּה רֶכֶב אֵשׁ וְסוּסֵי אֵשׁ וַיַּפְרִדוּ בֵּין שְׁנֵיהֶם״, טַעְמָא דְּאִיכָּא דִּיבּוּר, הָא לֵיכָּא דִּיבּוּר — רְאוּיִין לִישָּׂרֵף! לָא קַשְׁיָא: הָא — לְמִיגְרַס, הָא — לְעַיּוֹנֵי.
§ The Gemara presents another piece of advice related to the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph said to them: “See that you not fall out by the way” (Genesis 45:24). Rabbi Elazar said that Joseph said to his brothers: Do not become occupied in a matter of halakha, lest you fall out on the way. If you discuss a halakha while traveling you might get into an argument, and it is important for travelers to remain on good terms. The Gemara asks: Is that so? But didn’t Rabbi Elai bar Berekhya say: With regard to two Torah scholars who are walking along the road and there are no Torah matters discussed between them, they are worthy of being burned, as it is stated: “And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, which parted them both asunder” (II Kings 2:11). The reason that the chariot of fire did not harm Elisha is because there was a Torah matter between them, from which it may be inferred that had they not been discussing a Torah matter, they would have been worthy of being burned. The Gemara answers: This is not difficult. This opinion of Rabbi Elai bar Berekhya is referring to studying by rote, by reviewing material one has already learned, which is permitted and even appropriate while traveling, whereas that opinion of Rabbi Elazar is referring to examining a halakha in depth, in which case it is likely that the scholars will come into conflict.
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