Va-Yehi: Hesed Shel Emet (Kindness of Truth or Steadfast Love)

In the last Parshah in the Book of Genesis we read about Jacob's death. There, he pleads with his son Joseph to bury him not in Egypt, but in Canaan where is grandfather Abraham, grandmother Sarah, father Isaac, mother Rebecca, and wife Leah lay buried in the Cave of Machpelah, which Abraham purchased as a family burial plot after the death of Sarah. Jacob asks his beloved, long lost, suddenly found son Joseph to do him a "kindness of truth" (hesed shel emet). In the rabbinic literature hesed shel emet is what the living does for the dead because they expect no recompense in this world. Today, we will think about what the living must do for the dead and the ways in which Jacob's deathbed request of Joseph informs that.

בראשית מ״ז:כ״ט

(כט) וַיִּקְרְב֣וּ יְמֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵל֮ לָמוּת֒ וַיִּקְרָ֣א ׀ לִבְנ֣וֹ לְיוֹסֵ֗ף וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ שִֽׂים־נָ֥א יָדְךָ֖ תַּ֣חַת יְרֵכִ֑י וְעָשִׂ֤יתָ עִמָּדִי֙ חֶ֣סֶד וֶאֱמֶ֔ת אַל־נָ֥א תִקְבְּרֵ֖נִי בְּמִצְרָֽיִם׃

Genesis 47:29

(29) And when the time approached for Israel to die, he summoned his son Joseph and said to him, “Do me this favor, place your hand under my thigh as a pledge of your steadfast loyalty: please do not bury me in Egypt.

חסד -- Kindness

אמת -- Truth

חסד של אמת -- kindness of truth

רש"י על בראשית מ״ז:כ״ט:ד׳

(ד) חסד ואמת. חֶסֶד שֶׁעוֹשִׂין עִם הַמֵּתִים הוּא חֶסֶד שֶׁל אֱמֶת, שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְצַפֶּה לְתַשְׁלוּם גְּמוּל:

Rashi on Genesis 47:29:4

(4) חסד ואמת MERCY AND TRUTH — The mercy shown to the dead is “mercy of truth” (true, disinterested kindness) since one cannot hope for any reward (Genesis Rabbah 96:5).

רד"ק על בראשית מ״ז:כ״ט:ג׳

(ג) חסד ואמת, האמת הוא שחייב לקבור את אביו, והחסד הוא שישאוהו ממצרים לארץ כנען לקברו שם:

Radak on Genesis 47:29:3

(3) חסד ואמת, the word אמת, a truth, i.e. a requirement he can insist on, referred to Joseph’s duty to bring his father to burial. The word חסד, an act of love, not required by law, was that he should take the trouble to transport his remains from Egypt and have them buried in the land of Canaan.

חזקוני, בראשית מ״ז:כ״ט:ג׳

(ג) ועשית עמדי חסד ואמת הוא תשלום גמול לפנים משורת הדין כמו שוב והשב אחיך עמך. חסד ואמת וקורין אותו מרצ״‎י בלע״‎ז, כלומר מחויב אתה לקברני אבל אינך חייב לטרוח לקברני בארץ כנען, ולכך אני מפייס אותך אל נא תקברני במצרים להשתקע שם בקבורה.

Chizkuni, Genesis 47:29:3

(3) ועשית עמדי חסד ואמת, “and perform for me an act of kindness and truth.” Wherever we find the expression חסד ואמת, it refers to giving someone more than he is entitled to expect, or asking him to do something beyond what he is entitled to demand. One such example is found in Samuel II 15,20: שוב והשב את אחיך עמך חסד ואמת, “go back and take your kinsmen with you and perform an act of loyalty and kindness (with them).” [David was in dire straits and staying with him was likely to result in the death of Ittai and his men. He was not obligated to remain faithful to David. Ed] Yaakov reminds Joseph that while it is his duty to bury his father, he is not entitled to demand of him to bring him to burial in the cave of Machpelah. He therefore pleads with him not to bury him in Egypt.

Rabbi Elie Munk, Kol HaTorah, Genesis 47:29

And do kindness and truth with me. "Truth" -- tell Pharoh the whole truth and do not hide the real reasons which prompted the last wishes of the dead father. "Kindness" -- for this will be the final proof of filial devotion which will repay Jacob for all the disappointments, all the desertions, his sons had caused. Truth and loving kindness -- Jacob's testament will thus be the motto for the future conduct of his sons and it will serve them as a guide throughout the years of oppression.

תהילים כ״ה:י׳

(י) כׇּל־אׇרְח֣וֹת יְ֭הֹוָה חֶ֣סֶד וֶאֱמֶ֑ת לְנֹצְרֵ֥י בְ֝רִית֗וֹ וְעֵדֹתָֽיו׃

Psalms 25:10

(10) All the LORD’s paths are steadfast love
for those who keep the decrees of His covenant.

תנחומא בובר, חיי שרה ב׳

(א) [ואברהם זקן]. זש"ה כל ארחות ה' חסד ואמת (תהלים כה י), תחילתה של תורה חסד, ואמצעיתה חסד, וסופה חסד,

Midrash Tanchuma Buber, Chayei Sara 2

(1) [(Gen. 24:1:) NOW ABRAHAM WAS OLD.] This text is related (to Ps. 25:10): ALL THE PATHS OF THE LORD ARE STEADFAST LOVE AND TRUTH. The beginning of Torah is steadfast love, its middle is steadfast love, and its end is steadfast love.

קהלת ז׳:ב׳

(ב) ט֞וֹב לָלֶ֣כֶת אֶל־בֵּֽית־אֵ֗בֶל מִלֶּ֙כֶת֙ אֶל־בֵּ֣ית מִשְׁתֶּ֔ה בַּאֲשֶׁ֕ר ה֖וּא ס֣וֹף כׇּל־הָאָדָ֑ם וְהַחַ֖י יִתֵּ֥ן אֶל־לִבּֽוֹ׃

Ecclesiastes 7:2

(2) It is better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of feasting; for that is the end of every man, and a living one should take it to heart.

רש"י על קהלת ז׳:ב׳

(א) טוֹב לָלֶכֶת אֶל בֵּית אֵבֶל. מִדָּה הַנּוֹהֶגֶת בַּחַיִּים וּבַמֵּתִים: (ב) מִלֶּכֶת אֶל בֵּית מִשְׁתֶּה. שֶׁהִיא מִדָּה שֶׁאֵינָהּ נוֹהֶגֶת אֶלָּא בַחַיִּים: (ג) בַּאֲשֶׁר הוּא סוֹף כָּל הָאָדָם. בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁהָאֵבֶל הוּא סוֹף כָּל הָאָדָם. סוֹפוֹ שֶׁל כָּל אָדָם לָבֹא לִידֵי כָּךְ. לְפִיכָךְ, הַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ, כָּל מַה שֶּׁאֶגְמֹל חֶסֶד עִם הַמֵּת, אֶצְטָרֵךְ אֲנִי שֶׁיִּגְמְלוּ לִי בְמוֹתִי, דְּיִדַּל יִדְלוּנֵיהּ, דְּיִטְעַן יִטְעֲנוּנֵיהּ, דְיִסְפֹּד יִסְפְּדוּנֵיה, דִּילַוֶּה יְלַוִּנֵיהּ. (ד) דָּבָר אַחֵר: בַּאֲשֶׁר הוּא סוֹף כָּל הָאָדָם. שֶׁהַמִּיתָה הִיא סוֹף כָּל יְמֵי הָאָדָם, וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו גּוֹמֵל לוֹ חֶסֶד, לֹא יִגְמֹל לוֹ עוֹד, אֲבָל בֵּית הַמִּשְׁתֶּה, זִמְּנוֹ וְלֹא הָלַךְ, יוּכַל לוֹמַר לוֹ: "סוֹפָךְ שֶׁיִּוָּלֵד לְךָ בֵן, וְשָׁם אֶהְיֶה עִמָּךְ, תָּבֹא לָךְ שִׂמְחַת חֲתוּנַת בִּנְךָ וְשָׁם אֵלֵךְ: (ה) וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ. הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה, שֶׁאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו יִגְמֹל לוֹ חֶסֶד, לֹא יִגְמֹל לוֹ עוֹד:

Rashi on Ecclesiastes 7:2

(1) Better to go to a house of mourning. [Where] the type of conduct serves both the living and the dead. (2) Than to go to a house of feasting. [Where] the type of conduct serves only the living. (3) For that is the end of all men. Because mourning marks the end of every person. Every person will ultimately come to this. Therefore, “the living should take it to heart,” [to the fact that] whatever kindness I bestow upon the dead, I will need that they bestow [the same] upon me upon my death. He who raises his voice in lamentation, they will raise their voices in lamentation for him; he who bears the dead, they will bear him; he who eulogizes, they will eulogize him; he who escorts the dead, they will escort him. (4) Another explanation: For that is the end of all men. For death is the end of all man’s days, and if he does not bestow kindness upon him now, he will no longer [be able to] bestow it upon him, but [if] he invited him to a house of feasting and he did not go, he can say to him, “a son will ultimately be born to you, and I will be there with you, the joy of your child’s wedding will come to you, and I will go there.” (5) And the living should take it to heart. This matter, that if he does not bestow kindness now, he will no longer [be able to] bestow it upon him.

מועד קטן כ״ח ב:ט׳

תַּנְיָא, הָיָה רַבִּי מֵאִיר אוֹמֵר: ״טוֹב לָלֶכֶת אֶל בֵּית אֵבֶל וְגוֹ׳״ עַד ״וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ״ — דְּבָרִים שֶׁל מִיתָה: דְּיִסְפֹּד — יִסְפְּדוּנֵיהּ, דְּיִקְבַּר — יִקְבְּרוּנֵיהּ, דְּיִטְעֹן — יִטְעֲנוּנֵיהּ, דִּידַל — יְדַלּוּנֵיהּ.

Moed Katan 28b:9

It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Meir would say with regard to the verse “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2): What should the living lay to his heart? Matters relating to death. And these matters are as follows: He that eulogizes will be eulogized by others. He that buries others will be buried by others. He that loads many words of praise and tribute into the eulogies that he delivers for others will be similarly treated by others. He that raises his voice in weeping over others will have others raise their voices over him.

שני לוחות הברית, תורה שבכתב, ויחי, תורה אור א׳-ג׳

(א) בענין מה שאמר יעקב ליוסף ועשית עמדי חסד של אמת, שאינו מצפה לתשלום גמול. מקשים העולם הלא יעקב נתן ליוסף גמולו במילואו וטובו, שעשה בניו לשני שבטים ובירך אותם, ונתן לו שכם אחד על אחיו. ובמדרש רבה (ב"ר צז, ט) אומר שזה היה בגדי אדם הראשון שלקח אותם יעקב מעשו ונתנם ליוסף, וא"כ איך אמר חסד של אמת:

Shenei Luchot HaBerit, Torah Shebikhtav, Vayechi, Torah Ohr 1-3

(1) Jacob said to Joseph that he wanted him to perform a חסד ואמת, with him (47,27); he described the kindness as a "true kindness" because in performing a deed of this nature to a departed there can be no expectation of recompense to the performer. Many people raise the point that Joseph had already received his reward for this kindness before he actually performed it. Had not his father promised that Ephrayim and Menashe, Joseph's two sons, would each inherit a slice of the land of Israel, just like Jacob's own sons? So how can we speak about a חסד של אמת? Not only that, Jacob gave special blessings to Joseph's children (something that is not recorded as having happened with his other grandsons); he also allocated the city of Shechem as belonging to the tribal territory of Joseph. In view of all this, how can one speak about a חסד של אמת, a totally altruistic act of kindness? Bereshit Rabbah 98,2 understands the additional שכם Jacob bestowed on Joseph as the birthright and the garments of Adam (which had been owned by Esau; Genesis 27,15). In view of all this, how can we speak about a totally altruistic act of kindness?