עשרת הדברות
שמות כ׳: ב׳-י״ד
שמות כ׳: ב׳-י״ד
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בין אדם לחבירו |
בין אדם למקום |
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לא תרצח |
אנכי |
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לא תנאף |
לא יהיה לך אלהים אחרים |
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לא תגנב |
לא תשא את שם ה׳ לשוא |
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לא תענה ברעך עד שקר |
זכור את יום השבת |
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לא תחמוד |
כבד את אביך ואת אמך |
(יב) כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־ה' אֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ (ס)
(12) Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
(ג) אִ֣ישׁ אִמּ֤וֹ וְאָבִיו֙ תִּירָ֔אוּ וְאֶת־שַׁבְּתֹתַ֖י תִּשְׁמֹ֑רוּ אֲנִ֖י ה' אֱלֹהֵיכֶֽם׃
(3) Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and ye shall keep My sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
עשרת הדברים. תניא, כיצד היו הלוחות כתובים, ר' חנינא בן גמליאל אומר חמשה על לוח זה וחמשה על לוח זה, שנאמר ויכתבם על שני לוחות אבנים, ורבנן אמרי, עשרה על לוח זה ועשרה על לוח זה, דכתיב ויגד לכם את בריתו אשר צוה אתכם לעשות עשרת הדברים [ירושלמי שקלים פ"ו ה"א]
והגאון רב סעדיה חבר אזהרות וכלל כל המצות באלה עשרת הדברים ומצא השם הנכבד בחמשה דברים הראשונים. ... ובדבור החמישי כתוב השם כי האבות משתפים עמו ביצירתו. ואם לא יכבדם כאילו אינו מכבד השם. וחמשה דברים הנותרים הם כנגד האדם.
The Gaon, Rabbi Saadiah composed azharot. He encompassed all the commandments in these Ten Statements. We find God’s name in the first five statements. I have already explained that the first statement is the foundation upon which all the commandments rest. It is followed by Thou shalt have no other gods. The sin of the one who does not believe in God is greater than the sin of the one who worships idols. For there are many who believe in the Lord and offer sacrifices to idols, like those who offered to the queen of heaven, because they think that it can help them. As the verse says, But since we let off to offer to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink-offerings unto her, we have wanted all things (Jer. 44:18). Scripture also reads, They feared the Lord, and served their own gods (II Kings 17:33). We find the same with Naaman who said, when I prostrate myself in the house of Rimmon, the Lord pardon thy servant in this thing (II Kings 5:18). Now all of the above-mentioned believe in the Lord. However, they join another with Him. It is for this reason that the name of the revered God is written in this statement. God’s name is also written in the third statement, for swearing falsely is less of a sin than idolatry. Nevertheless, one who does this publicly shames the Lord. It is possible that the violator acts in this manner out of anger or need, for he believes in his heart in God and does not worship any deity along with the Lord. The fourth statement tells us that the Lord rested on the seventh day. Thus he who does work on the Sabbath denies that God created the world. Now this sin is less severe than taking the name of the Lord in vain. The Lord’s name is written in the fifth statement because parents are God’s partners in the creation of a human being. If a person does not honor his parents, it is as if he is not honoring God. The five remaining statements deal with sins against a fellow human being. The first one is the most heinous, namely, causing the soul to separate from the body. This is followed by the rape of the body. Next comes, Thou shalt not steal money. Afterwards comes stealing with the tongue. Next comes coveting with one’s heart.
כבד את אביך הנה השלים כל מה שאנו חייבין בדברי הבורא בעצמו ובכבודו, וחזר לצוות אותנו בעניני הנבראים, והתחיל מן האב שהוא לתולדותיו כענין בורא משתתף ביצירה, כי השם אבינו הראשון, והמוליד אבינו האחרון, ולכך אמר במשנה תורה (דברים ה טז) כאשר צויתיך בכבודי כן אנכי מצוך בכבוד המשתתף עמי ביצירתך.
HONOR THY FATHER. Having finished all that we are obligated towards the Creator Himself and His glory, He turns now to command us about those matters which concern created beings. He begins with the father, for in relation to his offspring, he is akin to a creator, being partner with Him in the forming of the child. G-d is our first Father, and he who begets it [i.e., the child] is our last male parent. This is why He said in the Book of Deuteronomy, [Honor thy father… as the Eternal thy G-d commanded thee]. That is, “just as I have commanded you concerning My honor, so do I command you concerning the honor of those who have joined Me in your formation.” Now Scripture has not explained [the nature of the honor we are to give our parents], for it may be derived from the honor mentioned above that we owe to our first Father, blessed be He. Thus, one is to acknowledge [his male parent] as his father and not deny him, saying of another man that he is his father. Nor should he serve him because of his estate or any other benefit he hopes to derive from him. Nor should he take his father’s name and swear “by the life of my father” in vain or falsely. There are other matters which are included within the term “honor,” for we are commanded in every aspect thereof, and they are explained in the words of our Rabbis. The Sages have already said that honoring parents has been likened to honoring G-d.
Now since this commandment refers to creatures on the earth, He has designated its reward to be prolongation of life on earth which He will give us. But in the opinion of our Rabbis, the purport of the verse is “that thy days may be long and upon the Land.” [It thus expresses two declarations]: He promises that our lives will be prolonged by observing this commandment — i.e., that G-d will fulfill our days in this world and they will be prolonged in the World to Come, which is unending — and that our dwelling will forever be on the good earth which He will give us. And in the Book of Deuteronomy, He expressly stated it: that thy day may be long, and that it may go well with thee, upon the Land which the Eternal thy G-d giveth thee. Thus they are two promises.
Now since this commandment refers to creatures on the earth, He has designated its reward to be prolongation of life on earth which He will give us. But in the opinion of our Rabbis, the purport of the verse is “that thy days may be long and upon the Land.” [It thus expresses two declarations]: He promises that our lives will be prolonged by observing this commandment — i.e., that G-d will fulfill our days in this world and they will be prolonged in the World to Come, which is unending — and that our dwelling will forever be on the good earth which He will give us. And in the Book of Deuteronomy, He expressly stated it: that thy day may be long, and that it may go well with thee, upon the Land which the Eternal thy G-d giveth thee. Thus they are two promises.
כי בלוח האחד היו החמשה דברות הראשונות שאדם מחוייב בעשיתן מצד קבלת אלהותו יתברך בזה הדרך, כי כמו מלך אחד שבנה מדינה והלך ולקח עבדים והוציאם לחרות והושיבם בתוכה, ואחר כך בא אליה לדבר עמהם כדי שיקבלו עליהם את עול מלכותו,
The ten commandments are general rules embracing the two classes of commandments, as follows: The first table contains the first five commandments, which a person is obliged to follow by reason of his acceptance of the divine being. Take the following instance: A king builds a city, then frees a body of slaves and settles them in the city, and then comes to speak to them in order to induce them to accept his lordship. Clearly the first thing he has to tell them is that he is the master who cared for them and liberated them from bondage. This is the meaning of the first commandment in the decalogue, “I am the Lord thy God …” It behooves you to accept My lordship because I made you free. Then he commands them that they shall not give the power to any one else, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.” Similarly he commands them not to rebel and set another king over them, “Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness.” Then it is proper to command them that they should show him honor, and not treat him with disrespect, as by swearing falsely in his name, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” Then it is necessary that he should fix a mode of commemorating the building of the city. For in this way they will remember that they have a lord who built the city, and that they had been freed from slavery and settled therein. For this reason He commanded them to keep the Sabbath, which bears allusion to the creation of the world and the deliverance from Egyptian bondage.
ואחר כך אמר כבד את אביך ואת אמך, לפי שהוא מן הידוע שאין המלך שבנה המדינה נגלה בכל יום לאנשי המדינה ההיא, ואם יזכרו אנשי הדור ההוא שראו ביאת המלך אל המדינה את קבלת עול מלכותו ושהמלך בנה המדינה ושהוציאם מעבדות לחרות, הנה הבאים אחריהם שלא הרגישו בעבדות כלל ושלא ראו כניסת המלך במדינה, יבאו למרוד ולחשוב שהמדינה היתה שלהם תמיד ושאין להם מושל עליהם, ואין דרך לצאת מן השטות הזה אלא בהיותם נכנעים אל האבות ומקבלים המוסר מהם, כי הם יודיעו את בניהם איך היו עבדים, ושאדון אחד הוציאם לחרות והוא שבנה המדינה והשכין אותם בתוכה, ולזה היה מן ההכרח כדי שלא תשתכח ממשלת המלך מעל המדינה והטובה שעשה עמהם שהוציאם מעבדות לחרות, שיכנעו הבנים בכל דור ודור אל האבות ויקבלו דברי מוסרם עליהם, ובעבור זה בא הדבור החמישי שהוא כבד את אביך ואת אמך להזהיר על הקבלה, רוצה לומר שימשך האדם לקבלת האבות, שזה עקר כולל לכל הדתות שלא יצוייר מציאותם אם לא יהיה האדם נשמע לקבלת האבות וחכמי הדת.
Then comes the commandment, “Honour thy father and thy mother.” For it is well known that the king who built the city does not reveal himself every day to the men of the city. And while the men of that generation, who saw the king come into the city, remember that he built that city and freed them from bondage, and that they accepted his sovereignty, those who come after them, having never been slaves, and not having seen the king enter the city, may rebel, thinking that the city has always been theirs, and that they have no overlord. There is no way of escaping such folly except by submitting to parents and receiving instruction from them. For the parents will inform their children that they were slaves and that a certain lord freed them from bondage, that it was he who built the city and settled them therein. Hence it was necessary, in order that the rule of the king throughout the city and the benefit he conferred upon them in freeing them from slavery might not be forgotten, that children of every generation should obey their parents and accept their instruction. Hence the fifth commandment, “Honour thy father and thy mother,” teaches respect for tradition, viz., that a person should follow the tradition of the fathers, which is a fundamental dogma of all religions. Their existence can not be conceived unless a person is obedient to the tradition of the fathers and the wise men of that religion.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן נֶאֱמַר כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ וְנֶאֱמַר כַּבֵּד אֶת ה' מֵהוֹנֶךָ הִשְׁוָה הַכָּתוּב כִּבּוּד אָב וָאֵם לִכְבוֹד הַמָּקוֹם נֶאֱמַר אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ וְנֶאֱמַר אֶת ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ תִּירָא וְאֹתוֹ תַעֲבֹד הִשְׁוָה הַכָּתוּב מוֹרָאַת אָב וָאֵם לְמוֹרָאַת הַמָּקוֹם נֶאֱמַר מְקַלֵּל אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ מוֹת יוּמָת וְנֶאֱמַר אִישׁ אִישׁ כִּי יְקַלֵּל אֱלֹהָיו וְנָשָׂא חֶטְאוֹ הִשְׁוָה הַכָּתוּב בִּרְכַּת אָב וָאֵם לְבִרְכַּת הַמָּקוֹם אֲבָל בְּהַכָּאָה וַדַּאי אִי אֶפְשָׁר וְכֵן בְּדִין שֶׁשְּׁלָשְׁתָּן שׁוּתָּפִין בּוֹ תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן שְׁלֹשָׁה שׁוּתָּפִין הֵן בָּאָדָם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא וְאָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ בִּזְמַן שֶׁאָדָם מְכַבֵּד אֶת אָבִיו וְאֶת אִמּוֹ אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַעֲלֶה אֲנִי עֲלֵיהֶם כְּאִילּוּ דַּרְתִּי בֵּינֵיהֶם וְכִבְּדוּנִי
“Say to wisdom: You are my sister, and call understanding your kinswoman” (Proverbs 7:4), which indicates that one should be as knowledgeable in the Torah as in the identity of his sister. And it states: “Bind them upon your fingers, you shall write them upon the tablet of your heart” (Proverbs 7:3). And it states: “As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of one’s youth” (Psalms 127:4). And it states: “Sharp arrows of the mighty” (Psalms 120:4). And it states: “Your arrows are sharp, the peoples fall under you” (Psalms 45:6). And it states: “Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be put to shame when they speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalms 127:5). The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the phrase “enemies in the gate” with regard to Torah study? Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba says: Even a father and his son, or a rabbi and his student, who are engaged in Torah together in one gate become enemies with each other due to the intensity of their studies. But they do not leave there until they love each other, as it is stated in the verse discussing the places the Jewish people engaged in battle in the wilderness: “Therefore it is said in the book of the wars of the Lord, Vahev in Suphah [beSufa], and the valleys of Arnon” (Numbers 21:14). The word “vahev” is interpreted as related to the word for love, ahava. Additionally, do not read this as “in Suphah [beSufa]”; rather, read it as “at its end [besofa],” i.e., at the conclusion of their dispute they are beloved to each other. The Sages taught: “And you shall place [vesamtem] these words of Mine in your hearts” (Deuteronomy 11:18). Read this as though it stated sam tam, a perfect elixir. The Torah is compared to an elixir of life. There is a parable that illustrates this: A person hit his son with a strong blow and placed a bandage on his wound. And he said to him: My son, as long as this bandage is on your wound and is healing you, eat what you enjoy and drink what you enjoy, and bathe in either hot water or cold water, and you do not need to be afraid, as it will heal your wound. But if you take it off, the wound will become gangrenous. So too the Holy One, Blessed be He, said to Israel: My children, I created an evil inclination, which is the wound, and I created Torah as its antidote. If you are engaged in Torah study you will not be given over into the hand of the evil inclination, as it is stated: “If you do well, shall it not be lifted up?” (Genesis 4:7). One who engages in Torah study lifts himself above the evil inclination. And if you do not engage in Torah study, you are given over to its power, as it is stated: “Sin crouches at the door” (Genesis 4:7). Moreover, all of the evil inclination’s deliberations will be concerning you, as it is stated in the same verse: “And to you is its desire.” And if you wish you shall rule over it, as it is stated in the conclusion of the verse: “But you may rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). The Sages taught: So difficult is the evil inclination that even its Creator calls it evil, as it is stated: “For the inclination of a man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Genesis 8:21). Rav Yitzḥak says: A person’s evil inclination renews itself to him every day, as it is stated: “And that every inclination of the thoughts in his heart was only evil all day [kol hayyom]” (Genesis 6:5). “Kol hayyom” can also be understood as: Every day. And Rabbi Shimon ben Levi says: A person’s inclination overpowers him every day, and seeks to kill him, as it is stated: “The wicked watches the righteous and seeks to slay him” (Psalms 37:32). And if not for the fact that the Holy One, Blessed be He, assists each person in battling his evil inclination, he could not overcome it, as it is stated: “The Lord will not leave him in his hand” (Psalms 37:33). A Sage from the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught: My son, if this wretched one, the evil inclination, encounters you, pull it into the study hall, i.e., go and study Torah. If it is a stone it will melt, and if it is iron it will break, as it is stated with regard to the Torah: “Is not My word like fire, says the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?” (Jeremiah 23:29). Just as a stone shatters a hammer, so too one can overcome his evil inclination, which is as strong as iron, through Torah study. With regard to the second part of the statement: If it is a stone it will melt, this is as it is stated with regard to the Torah: “Ho, everyone who thirsts, come for water” (Isaiah 55:1), and it states: “The water wears the stones” (Job 14:19), indicating that water is stronger than stone. § The baraita (29a) teaches that a father is commanded to marry his son to a woman. The Gemara asks: From where do we derive this matter? As it is written: “Take wives and bear sons and daughters, and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to men” (Jeremiah 29:6). The Gemara analyzes this verse: Granted with regard to his son, this is in his power, i.e., he can instruct him to marry a woman, as a man is the active agent in a marriage. But with regard to his daughter, is this in his power? She must wait for a man to marry her. The Gemara answers: This is what Jeremiah was saying to them in the aforementioned verse: Her father should give her something for her dowry, and he should dress and cover her with suitable clothing so that men will leap to marry her. § The baraita further states that a father is commanded to teach his son a trade. The Gemara asks: From where do we derive this? Ḥizkiyya said: As the verse states: “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). If this verse is interpreted literally, and it is referring to an actual woman, then one can derive as follows: Just as a father is obligated to marry his son to a woman, so too, he is obligated to teach him a trade, as indicated by the term: Life. And if the wife mentioned in this verse is allegorical, and it is the Torah, then one should explain the verse in the following manner: Just as he is obligated to teach him Torah, so too, he is obligated to teach him a trade. § The baraita adds: And some say that a father is also obligated to teach his son to swim in a river. The Gemara asks: What is the reason for this? It is necessary for his life, i.e., this is potentially a lifesaving skill. § The baraita further teaches that Rabbi Yehuda says: Any father who does not teach his son a trade teaches him banditry. The Gemara asks: Can it enter your mind that he actually teaches him banditry? Rather, the baraita means that it is as though he taught him banditry. The Gemara asks: What is the difference between the opinion of the first tanna and that of Rabbi Yehuda? Both state that a father must teach his son a trade. The Gemara answers: There is a difference between them in a case where the father teaches him to engage in business. According to the first tanna this is sufficient, whereas Rabbi Yehuda maintains that he must teach him an actual trade. § The mishna teaches: With regard to all mitzvot of a father with regard to his son, both men and women are obligated to perform them. The Gemara inquires: What is the meaning of the expression: All mitzvot of a father with regard to his son? If we say that this is referring to all of the mitzvot that a father is required to perform for his son, are women obligated in these? But isn’t it taught in a baraita: A father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him? This indicates that his father, yes, he is obligated to do these, but his mother, no, she is not obligated to perform these mitzvot for her son. Rav Yehuda said that this is what the mishna is saying: With regard to each mitzva for the father that is incumbent upon the son to perform for his father, both men and women are obligated in them. The Gemara comments: We already learned this, as the Sages taught in a baraita, with regard to the verse: “A man shall fear [tira’u] his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3). I have derived only that a man is obligated in this mitzva; from where do I derive that a woman is also obligated? When it says in the same verse: “A man shall fear [tira’u] his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3), employing the plural form of the verb, this indicates that there are two that are obligated here, both a man and a woman. If so, that both of them are obligated, what is the meaning when the verse states: “Man”? In the case of a man, it is in his power to perform this mitzva; whereas with regard to a woman, it is not always in her power to perform this mitzva, because she is under the authority of another person, i.e., her husband. As she is obligated to her husband to maintain her household, she is not always able to find time for her parents. Rav Idi bar Avin says that Rav says: Consequently, if a woman is divorced, then both of them, a daughter and a son, are equal with regard to honoring and fearing their father and mother. The Sages taught that it is stated: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:11), and it is stated: “Honor the Lord with your wealth” (Proverbs 3:9). In this manner, the verse equates the honor of one’s father and mother to the honor of the Omnipresent, as the term “honor” is used in both cases. Similarly, it is stated: “A man shall fear his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3), and it is stated: “You shall fear the Lord your God and Him you shall serve” (Deuteronomy 6:13). The verse equates the fear of one’s father and mother to the fear of the Omnipresent. Likewise, it is stated: “He who curses his father or his mother shall be put to death” (Exodus 21:17), and it is stated: “Whoever curses his God shall bear his sin” (Leviticus 24:15). The verse equates the blessing, a euphemism for cursing, of one’s father and mother to the blessing of the Omnipresent. But with regard to striking, i.e., with regard to the halakha that one who strikes his father or mother is liable to receive court-imposed capital punishment, it is certainly not possible to say the same concerning the Holy One, Blessed be He. And so too, the equating of one’s attitude toward his parents to his attitude toward God is a logical derivation, as the three of them are partners in his creation. As the Sages taught: There are three partners in the forming of a person: The Holy One, Blessed be He, who provides the soul, and his father and his mother. When a person honors his father and mother, the Holy One, Blessed be He, says: I ascribe credit to them as if I dwelt between them and they honor Me as well. It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi says: It is revealed and known before the One Who spoke and the world came into being that a son honors his mother more than he honors his father, because
תָּנֵי תַּנָּא קַמֵּיהּ דְּרַב נַחְמָן בִּזְמַן שֶׁאָדָם מְצַעֵר אֶת אָבִיו וְאֶת אִמּוֹ אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יָפֶה עָשִׂיתִי שֶׁלֹּא דַּרְתִּי בֵּינֵיהֶם שֶׁאִלְמָלֵי דַּרְתִּי בֵּינֵיהֶם צִיעֲרוּנִי
A tanna taught a baraita before Rav Naḥman: When a person causes his father and mother suffering, the Holy One, Blessed be He, says: I did well in not dwelling among them, for if I had dwelled among them they would have caused Me suffering as well, as it were. Rabbi Yitzḥak says: Anyone who transgresses in private, it is considered as though he is pushing away the feet of the Divine Presence, i.e., he distances God from him, so to speak. As it is stated: “So says the Lord: The heaven is My throne and the earth is My footstool” (Isaiah 66:1). When someone sins in secret, he demonstrates that he thinks God is absent from that place, and it is as though he pushes His feet away from the earth.
(ז) כָּל מִצְוֹת הַבֵּן עַל הָאָב, אֲנָשִׁים חַיָּבִין וְנָשִׁים פְּטוּרוֹת. וְכָל מִצְוֹת הָאָב עַל הַבֵּן, אֶחָד אֲנָשִׁים וְאֶחָד נָשִׁים חַיָּבִין. וְכָל מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁהַזְּמָן גְּרָמָהּ, אֲנָשִׁים חַיָּבִין וְנָשִׁים פְּטוּרוֹת. וְכָל מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁלֹּא הַזְּמָן גְּרָמָהּ, אֶחָד אֲנָשִׁים וְאֶחָד נָשִׁים חַיָּבִין. וְכָל מִצְוַת לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה, בֵּין שֶׁהַזְּמָן גְּרָמָהּ בֵּין שֶׁלֹּא הַזְּמָן גְּרָמָהּ, אֶחָד אֲנָשִׁים וְאֶחָד נָשִׁים חַיָּבִין, חוּץ מִבַּל תַּשְׁחִית וּבַל תַּקִּיף וּבַל תִּטַּמָּא לְמֵתִים:
(7) With regard to all mitzvot of a son with regard to his father, men are obligated to perform them and women are exempt. And with regard to all mitzvot of a father with regard to his son, both men and women are obligated to perform them. The mishna notes an additional difference between the obligations of men and women in the performance of mitzvot: With regard to all positive, time-bound mitzvot, i.e., those which must be performed at specific times, men are obligated to perform them and women are exempt. And with regard to all positive mitzvot that are not time bound, both men and women are obligated to perform them. And with regard to all prohibitions, whether they are time-bound or whether they are not time-bound, both men and women are obligated to observe them, except for the prohibitions of: Do not round the corners of your head, and: Do not destroy the corners of your beard, which are derived from the verse: “You shall not round the corners of your head and you shall not destroy the corners of your beard” (Leviticus 19:27), and a prohibition that concerns only priests: Do not contract ritual impurity from a corpse (see Leviticus 21:1). These mitzvot apply only to men, not women, despite the fact that they are prohibitions.
כִּבּוּד אָב וָאֵם מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה גְּדוֹלָה וְכֵן מוֹרָא אָב וָאֵם. שָׁקַל אוֹתָן הַכָּתוּב בִּכְבוֹדוֹ וּבְמוֹרָאוֹ. כָּתוּב (שמות כ יב) "כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ" וְכָתוּב (משלי ג ט) "כַּבֵּד אֶת ה' מֵהוֹנֶךָ". וּבְאָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ כָּתוּב (ויקרא יט ג) "אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ" וְכָתוּב (דברים ו יג) "אֶת ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ תִּירָא". כְּדֶרֶךְ שֶׁצִּוָּה עַל כְּבוֹד שְׁמוֹ הַגָּדוֹל וּמוֹרָאוֹ כָּךְ צִוָּה עַל כְּבוֹדָם וּמוֹרָאָם:
Honoring one's father and mother is a positive commandment of great importance, as is fearing one's father and mother. The Torah equates the honor and fear of one's parents with the honor and fear of God Himself. Exodus 20:12 states: "Honor your father and your mother," and Proverbs 3:9 states: "Honor God from your wealth." Similarly, with regard to one's father and mother, Leviticus 19:3 states: "A person must fear his mother and father," and Deuteronomy 6:13 states: "And you shall fear God, your Lord." Just as He commands us to honor and fear His great name; so, too, He commands us to honor and fear our parents."
דָּרֵשׁ עוּלָּא רַבָּה אַפִּיתְחָא דְּבֵי נְשִׂיאָה מַאי דִּכְתִיב יוֹדוּךָ ה' כׇּל מַלְכֵי אָרֶץ כִּי שָׁמְעוּ אִמְרֵי פִיךָ מַאֲמַר פִּיךָ לֹא נֶאֱמַר אֶלָּא אִמְרֵי פִיךָ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אָנֹכִי וְלֹא יִהְיֶה לְךָ אֲמַרוּ אוּמּוֹת הָעוֹלָם לִכְבוֹד עַצְמוֹ הוּא דּוֹרֵשׁ כֵּיוָן שֶׁאָמַר כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ חָזְרוּ וְהוֹדוּ לְמַאֲמָרוֹת הָרִאשׁוֹנוֹת רָבָא אָמַר מֵהָכָא רֹאשׁ דְּבָרְךָ אֱמֶת רֹאשׁ דְּבָרְךָ וְלֹא סוֹף דְּבָרְךָ אֶלָּא מִסּוֹף דְּבָרְךָ נִיכָּר שֶׁרֹאשׁ דְּבָרְךָ אֱמֶת
§ Ulla the Great interpreted a verse homiletically at the entrance to the house of the Nasi. What is the meaning of that which is written: “All the kings of the earth shall give You thanks, O Lord, for they have heard the words of Your mouth” (Psalms 138:4)? It is not stated: The word of Your mouth, in the singular. Rather, the verse uses the expression: “The words of Your mouth,” in the plural. To what is this phrase referring? When the Holy One, Blessed be He, said: “I am the Lord your God” (Exodus 20:2), and, in the same verse: “You shall have no other gods before Me,” the nations of the world said: He teaches this for His own honor, as both statements entail respect for God. Once He said: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:11), they returned and conceded the truth of the first statements, which is why the verse uses the plural expression: “Words of Your mouth,” i.e., all the words of God’s mouth. Rava said: This can be derived from here: “The beginning of Your word is truth” (Psalms 119:160). Is the beginning of Your word truth but not the end of Your word? Rather, from the end of Your word it is apparent to everyone that the beginning of Your word is truth.
עַד הֵיכָן הוּא כִּבּוּד אָב וְאֵם. אֲפִלּוּ נָטְלוּ כִּיס שֶׁל זְהוּבִים שֶׁלּוֹ וְהִשְׁלִיכוּ בְּפָנָיו לַיָּם לֹא יַכְלִימֵם וְלֹא יְצַעֵר בִּפְנֵיהֶם וְלֹא יִכְעֹס כְּנֶגְדָּם אֶלָּא יְקַבֵּל גְּזֵרַת הַכָּתוּב וְיִשְׁתֹּק. וְעַד הֵיכָן מוֹרָאָן אֲפִלּוּ הָיָה לוֹבֵשׁ בְּגָדִים חֲמוּדוֹת וְיוֹשֵׁב בָּרֹאשׁ בִּפְנֵי הַקָּהָל וּבָא אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ וְקָרְעוּ בְּגָדָיו וְהִכּוּהוּ בְּרֹאשׁוֹ וְיָרְקוּ בְּפָנָיו לֹא יַכְלִימֵם אֶלָּא יִשְׁתֹּק וְיִירָא וְיִפְחַד מִמֶּלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים שֶׁצִּוָּהוּ בְּכָךְ. שֶׁאִלּוּ מֶלֶךְ בָּשָׂר וָדָם גָּזַר עָלָיו דָּבָר שֶׁהוּא מְצַעֵר יֶתֶר מִזֶּה לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לְפַרְכֵּס בַּדָּבָר. קַל וָחֹמֶר לְמִי שֶׁאָמַר וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם כִּרְצוֹנוֹ:
To what degree does the mitzvah of honoring one's father and mother extend? Even if one's parent takes his purse of gold and throws it into the sea in his presence, he should not embarrass them, shout, or vent anger at them. Instead, he should accept the Torah's decree and remain silent.
To what degree does the mitzvah of fearing them extend? Even if one was wearing fine garments and sitting at the head of the community, if one's father and mother came, ripped the clothes, struck him on the head, and spit in his face, he should not embarrass them. Instead, he should remain silent and fear the King of kings who commanded him to conduct himself in this manner. Were a mortal king to decree something which would cause him even more suffering he would not be able to move a limb in protest. Certainly, this applies when the command emanates from He who spoke and caused the world to come into existence as He desired it.
To what degree does the mitzvah of fearing them extend? Even if one was wearing fine garments and sitting at the head of the community, if one's father and mother came, ripped the clothes, struck him on the head, and spit in his face, he should not embarrass them. Instead, he should remain silent and fear the King of kings who commanded him to conduct himself in this manner. Were a mortal king to decree something which would cause him even more suffering he would not be able to move a limb in protest. Certainly, this applies when the command emanates from He who spoke and caused the world to come into existence as He desired it.
הַמַּמְזֵר חַיָּב בִּכְבוֹד אָבִיו וּמוֹרָאוֹ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא פָּטוּר עַל מַכָּתוֹ וְקִלְלָתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה תְּשׁוּבָה. אֲפִלּוּ הָיָה אָבִיו רָשָׁע וּבַעַל עֲבֵרוֹת מְכַבְּדוֹ וּמִתְיָרֵא מִמֶּנּוּ. רָאָהוּ עוֹבֵר עַל דִּבְרֵי תּוֹרָה לֹא יֹאמַר לוֹ אַבָּא עָבַרְתָּ עַל דִּבְרֵי תּוֹרָה אֶלָּא יֹאמַר לוֹ אַבָּא כָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה כָּךְ וְכָךְ כְּאִלּוּ הוּא שׁוֹאֵל מִמֶּנּוּ וְלֹא כְּמַזְהִירוֹ:
A mamzer is obligated to honor and fear his father even though he is not liable for striking him or cursing him until he repents. Even when his father was a wicked person who violated many transgressions, he must honor him and fear him.
If he sees his father violate Torah law, he should not tell him: 'Father, you transgressed Torah law.' Instead, he should tell him: 'Father, is not such-and-such written in the Torah?', as if he is asking him, rather than warning him.
If he sees his father violate Torah law, he should not tell him: 'Father, you transgressed Torah law.' Instead, he should tell him: 'Father, is not such-and-such written in the Torah?', as if he is asking him, rather than warning him.
אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁבְּכָךְ נִצְטַוֵּינוּ אָסוּר לְאָדָם לְהַכְבִּיד עֵלּוֹ עַל בָּנָיו וּלְדַקְדֵּק בִּכְבוֹדוֹ עִמָּהֶם שֶׁלֹּא יְבִיאֵם לִידֵי מִכְשׁוֹל. אֶלָּא יִמְחל וְיִתְעַלֵּם שֶׁהָאָב שֶׁמָּחַל עַל כְּבוֹדוֹ כְּבוֹדוֹ מָחוּל:
Although these commands have been issued, a person is forbidden to lay a heavy yoke on his sons and be particular about their honoring him to the point that he presents an obstacle to them. Instead, he should forgo his honor and ignore any affronts. For if a father desires to forgo his honor, he may.
מִי שֶׁנִּטְרְפָה דַּעְתּוֹ שֶׁל אָבִיו אוֹ שֶׁל אִמּוֹ מִשְׁתַּדֵּל לִנְהֹג עִמָּהֶם כְּפִי דַּעְתָּם עַד שֶׁיְּרֻחַם עֲלֵיהֶן. וְאִם אִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לַעֲמֹד מִפְּנֵי שֶׁנִּשְׁתַּטּוּ בְּיוֹתֵר יְנִיחֵם וְיֵלֵךְ לוֹ וִיצַוֶּה אֲחֵרִים לְהַנְהִיגָם כָּרָאוּי לָהֶם:
When a person's father or mother lose control of their mental faculties, their son should try to conduct his relationship with them according to their mental condition until God has mercy upon them. If it is impossible for him to remain with them because they have become very deranged, he should leave them, depart, and charge others with caring for them in an appropriate manner.
מי שנטרפה דעתו של אביו וכו' יניחם וילך לו ויצוה אחרים להנהיגם כראוי. א''א אין זו הוראה נכונה אם הוא ילך ויניח לו למי יצוה לשמרו, עכ''ל:
This is not a correct ruling! If he goes and leaves him, who shall he command to watch him?!