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Preparing for transformation ~ Conversations about being human: yetzer hara II ~ rabbis deal with it

(יא) רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר, עַיִן הָרָע, וְיֵצֶר הָרָע, וְשִׂנְאַת הַבְּרִיּוֹת, מוֹצִיאִין אֶת הָאָדָם מִן הָעוֹלָם:

(11) Rabbi Joshua said: an evil eye, the evil inclination, and hatred for humankind put a person out of the world.

יצר הרע כיצד אמרו שלש עשרה שנה גדול יצר הרע מיצר טוב ממעי אמו של אדם היה גדל ובא עמו והתחיל מחלל שבתות אין ממחה בידו [הורג נפשות אין ממחה בידו הולך לדבר עבירה אין ממחה בידו] לאחר י״ג שנה נולד יצר טוב כיון שמחלל שבתות א״ל ריקה הרי הוא אומר (שמות ל״א:י״ד) מחלליה מות יומת. הורג נפשות א״ל ריקה הרי הוא אומר (בראשית ט׳:ו׳) שופך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך. הולך לדבר עבירה אומר לו ריקה הרי הוא אומר (ויקרא כ׳:י׳) מות יומת הנואף והנואפת. בזמן שאדם מחמם את עצמו והולך לדבר זימה כל אבריו נשמעין לו מפני שיצה״ר מלך הוא על מאתים וארבעים ושמונה אברים. כשהוא הולך לדבר מצוה התחילו מתענין (לו) כל אבריו מפני שיצר הרע שבמעיו מלך הוא על מאתים וארבעים ושמונה אברים שבאדם ויצר טוב אינו דומה אלא למי שהוא חבוש בבית האסורין שנאמר (קהלת ד׳:י״ד) [כי] מבית הסורים יצא למלוך זה יצר טוב וי״א זה יוסף הצדיק כשבאתה אותה רשעה היתה מענה אותו בדבריה אמרה לו אני אחבשך בבית האסורין אמר לה ה׳ מתיר אסורים אמרה לו אני אנקר את עיניך אמר לה ה׳ פוקח עורים אמרה לו אני אכפוף את קומתך אמר לה ה׳ זוקף כפופים (אמרה לו אני עושה אותך רשע אמר לה ה' אוהב צדיקים אמרה לו אני עושה אותך ארמאי אמר לה ה׳ שומר את גרים עד שאמר איך אעשה הרעה הגדולה הזאת)

אל תתמה על יוסף הצדיק שהרי רבי צדוק היה גדול הדור כשנשבה נטלתו מטרוניתא אחת ושגרה לו שפחה אחת יפה כיון שראה אותה נתן עיניו בכותל שלא יראנה והיה יושב ושונה כל הלילה לשחרית הלכה והקבילה אצל גבירתה אמרה לה שוה לי המות משתתנני לאיש הזה שלחה וקראה לו ואמרה לו מפני מה לא עשית עם אשה זאת כדרך שיעשו בני אדם אמר לה ומה אעשה מכהונה גדולה אני ממשפחה גדולה אני אמרתי שמא אבא עליה והרביתי ממזרים כישראל כיון ששמעה דבריו צותה עליו ופטרתו בכבוד גדול.

(א״ל) אל תתמה על רבי צדוק שהרי ר׳ עקיבא גדול ממנו כשהלך לארץ אוכילו קורצא אצל שלטון אחד ושגר לו שתי נשים יפות רחצום וסכום וקשטום ככלות חתנים והיו מתנפלות עליו כל הלילה זאת אומרת חזור אצלי וזאת אומרת חזור אצלי והיה יושב ביניהם ומרקק ולא פנה אליהן הלכו להן והקבילו פני השלטון ואמרו לו שוה לנו מות משתתננו לאיש הזה שלח וקרא לו א״ל מפני מה לא עשית עם הנשים הללו כדרך שבני אדם עושים לנשים לא יפות המה לא בנות אדם כמותך הן מי שברא אותך לא ברא אותם. אמר לו מה אעשה ריחן בא עלי מבשר נבלות וטרפות ושרצים.

אל תתמה על ר׳ עקיבא שהרי ר״א הגדול גדול ממנו שגדל את בת אחותו י״ג שנה עמו במטה עד שבאו לה סימנים אמר לה צאי והתנשאי לאיש אמרה לו הלא אמתך (אנכי) לשפחה לרחוץ רגלי תלמידך אמר לה בתי כבר זקנתי צאי והתנשאי לבחור שכמותך אמרה לו לא כך אמרתי לפניך הלא אמתך לשפחה לרחוץ רגלי תלמידך כיון ששמע את דבריה נטל ממנה רשות לקדשה ובא עליה:

The Evil Urge. How so? They say that for the first thirteen years [of a person’s life] the Evil Urge is greater than the Good Urge. There in his mother’s womb, a person’s Evil Urge grows with him. [After he emerges into the world,] he starts breaking the Sabbath, and nothing is there to stop him; [killing people, and nothing is there to stop him; going out to sin, and nothing is there to stop him.]
After thirteen years, the Good Urge is born. Then when he breaks the Sabbath, it says to him: Empty one! Isn’t it written (Exodus 31:14), “One who breaks it will surely die”? When he kills, it says to him: Empty one! Isn’t it written (Genesis 9:6), “One who spills the blood of a person, his own blood will be spilled”? When he goes out to sin, it says to him: Empty one! Isn’t it written (Leviticus 20:16), “Both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death”?
When a person heats himself up, and then goes to commit some act of lewdness, all of his limbs will obey him, because the Evil Urge rules over all 248 limbs. When he goes to perform a mitzvah, his limbs begin to grow lazy, because the Evil Urge in his stomach rules over all 248 of a person’s limbs. The Good Urge, meanwhile, is like someone trapped in a prison, as it says (Ecclesiastes 4:14), “From the prison, he comes forth to rule” – that is the Good Urge.

Some say, that verse refers to Joseph the Righteous (HaTzadik), when that wicked woman came and tortured him with words. She said to him: I will lock you up in prison! He said to her: But God releases the bound. She said to him: I will poke out your eyes! He said: God gives sight to the blind. She said to him: I will bend you down! He said to her: God straightens the bent. (She said to him: I will make you into a wicked man! He said to her: God loves the righteous. She said to him: I will make you an Aramean! He said to her: God protects the strangers. Until finally he said [Genesis 39:9], “How can I do this evil thing?”)


And do not be surprised at Joseph the Righteous. For behold, Rabbi Tzadok was the greatest of his generation when he was captured. And a matron took him and presented before him a beautiful maidservant. When he saw her, he turned his eyes to the wall so he would not see her. And he sat and recited his learning the whole night. In the morning, the maidservant left and complained to her mistress: I would rather die than be given to that man! The matron sent for him and said to him: Why didn’t you do with this woman as all people do? He said to her: What can I do? I come from the lineage of the high priest, from a great family! I said to myself, Perhaps I will sleep with her and increase mamzerim in Israel! When she heard this, she commanded he be released with great honor.

(And they say:) Do not be surprised at Rabbi Tzadok. For behold, Rabbi Akiva was greater than him! When he went to Rome, (informers slandered him) to a local prefect, who then presented before him two beautiful women. [The prefect] bathed and anointed them dressed them up like brides, and they fell upon [Rabbi Akiva] the whole night. This one said: Come to me! And that one said: Come to me! But he sat between them and spat, and would not turn to them. They went before the prefect and said to him: We would rather die than be given to that man! He sent for [Rabbi Akiva] and said to him: Why didn’t you do with those women as all people do with women? Weren’t they beautiful? And weren’t they human beings just like you? Didn’t the One who created you create them as well? [Rabbi Akiva] said: What could I do? Their scent was worse to me than carcasses and vermin!

And do not be surprised at Rabbi Akiva. For behold, Rabbi Eliezer the Great was greater than him. For he raised his sister’s daughter until she was thirteen, and she slept in bed with him until she began puberty. Then he said to her: Go, and marry a man. She said to him: Am I not your woman? Should I be given as a maidservant to wash the legs of your students? He said to her: My daughter, I am already an old man. Go and marry a young man like yourself. She said to him: Didn’t I already say to you, Am I not your woman? Should I be given as a maidservant to wash the legs of your students? When he heard her words, he got permission from her to marry her, and then had sexual relations with her.

~ On the first part:

  • Why do you think Avot deRabi Natan (ARN) sees the Yetzer HaRa as older than the Yetzer HaTov?
  • Why is the Yetzer HaTov considered similar to a prisoner who comes forth to rule? Who in the Torah do you know comes from the prison to rule over Egypt?

~ On the second part:

  • Note that the text connects the status of the Yetzer HaTov with Yosef, and then the appellation of Yosef HaTzadik with the name of the first rabbi, Rabbi Tzadok.
  • Why is Rabbi Tzadok greater than Yosef?
    • Note that is is not possible to know which rabbi Tzadok we are talking about. If one considers that the three stories are presented in chronological order, it would have been someone before Rabbi Akiva (50-135 CE).
  • What do you see as the connection between R. Tzadok and Rabbi Akiva's stories? Why is Rabbi Akiva seen as greater than Rabbi Tzadok?
  • What is the connection between Rabbi Akiva's story and Rabbi Eliezer [ben Hyrcanus] the Great? Why is Rabbi Eliezer's actions greater than Rabbi Akiva's?
    • Please note that in Rabbi Eliezer's time (1st century CE) it was considered meritorious to marry an orphan and meritorious to marry a niece. Also, today we would consider 13 to be a too young an age for marriage for a girl, but marrying young was quite common in Rabbi Eliezer's time. Also note that he sends her twice away, and in terms of autonomy and self-determination, here is a young woman deciding her own life - three times.
אָמַר רַב הוּנָא: מַאי דִכְתִיב: ״שְׂמַח בָּחוּר בְּיַלְדוּתֶךָ וִיטִיבְךָ לִבְּךָ בִּימֵי בְחוּרוֹתֶיךָ וְהַלֵּךְ בְּדַרְכֵי לִבְּךָ וּבְמַרְאֵה עֵינֶיךָ וְדָע כִּי עַל כׇּל אֵלֶּה יְבִיאֲךָ הָאֱלֹהִים בַּמִּשְׁפָּט״ — עַד כָּאן דִּבְרֵי יֵצֶר הָרָע, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ דִּבְרֵי יֵצֶר טוֹב.

Rav Huna said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Rejoice young man in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth, and walk in the ways of your heart and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment” (Ecclesiastes 11:9)? Until here, “the sight of your eyes,” these are the words of the evil inclination; from here on, “but know that, etc.,” these are the words of the good inclination.

~ How similar is Rav Huna's drasha to the beginning of ARN's piece?

הָנָךְ שְׁבוּיָיתָא דַּאֲתַאי לִנְהַרְדְּעָא. אַסְּקִינְהוּ לְבֵי רַב עַמְרָם חֲסִידָא, אַשְׁקוּלוּ דַּרְגָּא מִקַּמַּיְיהוּ. בַּהֲדֵי דְּקָא חָלְפָה חֲדָא מִנַּיְיהוּ נְפַל נְהוֹרָא בְּאִיפּוּמָּא. שַׁקְלֵיהּ רַב עַמְרָם לְדַרְגָּא דְּלָא הֲווֹ יָכְלִין בֵּי עַשְׂרָה לְמִדְלְיֵיהּ, דַּלְיֵיהּ לְחוֹדֵיהּ, סָלֵיק וְאָזֵיל. כִּי מְטָא לְפַלְגָא [דְּ]דַרְגָּא אִיפְּשַׁח, רְמָא קָלָא: נוּרָא בֵּי עַמְרָם! אֲתוֹ רַבָּנַן, אֲמַרוּ לֵיהּ: כַּסֵּיפְתִּינַן. אֲמַר לְהוּ: מוּטָב תִּיכַּסְפוּ בֵּי עַמְרָם בְּעָלְמָא הָדֵין וְלָא תִּיכַּסְפוּ מִינֵּיהּ לְעָלְמָא דְּאָתֵי. אַשְׁבְּעֵיהּ דְּיִנְפַּק מִינֵּיהּ, נְפַק מִינֵּיהּ כִּי עַמּוּדָא דְנוּרָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: חֲזִי, דְּאַתְּ נוּרָא וַאֲנָא בִּישְׂרָא, וַאֲנָא עֲדִיפְנָא מִינָּךְ.

§ The Gemara relates: Those captive women who were brought to Neharde’a, where they were redeemed, were brought up to the house of Rav Amram the Pious. They removed the ladder from before them to prevent men from climbing up after them to the attic where they were to sleep. When one of them passed by the entrance to the upper chamber, it was as though a light shone in the aperture due to her great beauty. Out of his desire for her, Rav Amram grabbed a ladder that ten men together could not lift, lifted it on his own and began climbing. When he was halfway up the ladder, he forced his legs to stop from climbing further, raised his voice, and cried out: There is a fire in the house of Amram. Upon hearing this, the Sages came and found him in that position. They said to him: You have embarrassed us!! Rav Amram said to them: It is better that you be shamed in Amram’s house in this world, and not be ashamed of him in the World-to-Come. He took an oath that his evil inclination should emerge from him, and an apparition similar to a pillar of fire emerged from him. He said to his evil inclination: See, as you are fire and I am mere flesh, and yet, I am still superior to you, as I was able to overcome you.

~ What has happened to Rav Amram, whose appellation is "The Pious" [4th century CE]?

~ How did he deal with his yetzer hara?

~ What do you make of the end of the story, and what he says to his yetzer?

~ Why is it important for him to make it come out?

רַבִּי מֵאִיר הֲוָה מִתְלוֹצֵץ בְּעוֹבְרֵי עֲבֵירָה. יוֹמָא חַד אִידְּמִי לֵיהּ שָׂטָן כְּאִיתְּתָא בְּהָךְ גִּיסָא דְנַהֲרָא, לָא הֲוָה מַבָּרָא – נְקַט מִצְרָא וְקָא עָבַר. כִּי מְטָא פַּלְגָא מִצְרָא שַׁבְקֵיהּ, אָמַר: אִי לָאו דְּקָא מַכְרְזִי בִּרְקִיעָא ״הִזָּהֲרוּ בְּרַבִּי מֵאִיר וְתוֹרָתוֹ״ שַׁוֵּיתֵיהּ לִדְמָךְ תַּרְתֵּי מָעֵי.
The Gemara relates: Rabbi Meir would ridicule transgressors by saying it is easy to avoid temptation. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman standing on the other side of the river. Since there was no ferry to cross the river, he took hold of a rope bridge and crossed the river. When he reached halfway across the rope bridge, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Meir and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a, i.e., completely worthless, since you would have fallen completely from your spiritual level.

The Gemarah continues with the story of Rabbi Meir (a student of Rabbi Akiva, 2nd century CE).

~ Why is Satan after him, according to the story?

~ What does the story prove?

~ What does the story teach to us? What do you imagine Rabbi Meir learned?

רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא הֲוָה מִתְלוֹצֵץ בְּעוֹבְרֵי עֲבֵירָה. יוֹמָא חַד אִידְּמִי לֵיהּ שָׂטָן כְּאִיתְּתָא בְּרֵישׁ דִּיקְלָא. נַקְטֵיהּ לְדִיקְלָא וְקָסָלֵיק וְאָזֵיל. כִּי מְטָא לְפַלְגֵיהּ דְּדִיקְלָא שַׁבְקֵיהּ, אָמַר: אִי לָאו דְּמַכְרְזִי בִּרְקִיעָא ״הִזָּהֲרוּ בְּרַבִּי עֲקִיבָא וְתוֹרָתוֹ״ שַׁוֵּיתֵיהּ לִדְמָךְ תַּרְתֵּי מָעֵי.
Rabbi Akiva would likewise ridicule transgressors. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree. Rabbi Akiva grabbed hold of the palm tree and began climbing. When he was halfway up the palm tree, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Akiva and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a.

The Gemarah continues with a story about Rabbi Akiva (50-163 CE) himself.

~ Why is Satan after him, according to the story?

~ What does the story prove?

~ What does the story teach to us? What do you imagine Rabbi Akiva learned?

~ Is it clear that his student learned anything from that story? Why not?

פְּלֵימוֹ הֲוָה רְגִיל לְמֵימַר כׇּל יוֹמָא ״גִּירָא בְּעֵינֵיהּ דְּשָׂטָן״. יוֹמָא חַד מַעֲלֵי יוֹמָא דְכִיפּוּרֵי הֲוָה. אִידְּמִי לֵיהּ כְּעַנְיָא. אֲתָא קְרָא אַבָּבָא, אַפִּיקוּ לֵיהּ רִיפְתָּא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: יוֹמָא כִּי הָאִידָּנָא כּוּלֵּי עָלְמָא גַּוַּאי וַאֲנָא אַבָּרַאי? עַיְּילֵיהּ וְקָרִיבוּ לֵיהּ רִיפְתָּא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: יוֹמָא כִּי הָאִידָּנָא כּוּלֵּי עָלְמָא אַתַּכָּא וַאֲנָא לְחוֹדַאי? אַתְיוּהּ אוֹתְבוּהּ אַתַּכָּא. הֲוָה יָתֵיב מְלָא נַפְשֵׁיהּ שִׁיחְנָא וְכִיבֵי (עֲלֵיהּ) וַהֲוָה קָעָבֵיד בֵּיהּ מִילֵּי דִּמְאִיס. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: תִּיב שַׁפִּיר. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: הַבוּ לִי כָּסָא, יְהַבוּ לֵיהּ כָּסָא. אַכְמַר שְׁדָא בֵּיהּ כִּיחוֹ. נְחַרוּ בֵּיהּ. שְׁקָא וּמִית. שְׁמַעוּ דַּהֲווֹ קָאָמְרִי: פְּלֵימוֹ קְטַל גַּבְרָא! פְּלֵימוֹ קְטַל גַּבְרָא! עֲרַק וּטְשָׁא נַפְשֵׁיהּ בְּבֵית הַכִּסֵּא. אָזֵיל בָּתְרֵיהּ, נְפַל קַמֵּיהּ. כִּי דְּחַזְיֵיהּ דַּהֲוָה מִצְטַעַר גַּלִּי לֵיהּ נַפְשֵׁיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: מַאי טַעְמָא אָמְרַתְּ הָכִי? וְאֶלָּא הֵיכִי אֵימָא? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לֵימָא מָר ״רַחֲמָנָא נִגְעַר בֵּיהּ בְּשָׂטָן״.
The Sage Peleimu had the habit to say every day: An arrow in the eye of Satan, mocking the temptations of the evil inclination. One day, it was the eve of Yom Kippur, and Satan appeared to him as a pauper who came and called him to the door, requesting alms. Peleimu brought out bread to him. Satan said to him: On a day like today, everyone is inside eating, and shall I stand outside and eat? Peleimu brought him inside and gave him bread. He said to him: On a day like today, everyone is sitting at the table, and shall I sit by myself? They brought him and sat him at the table. He was sitting and had covered himself with boils and pus, and he was doing repulsive things at the table. Peleimu said to the pauper: Sit properly and do not act in a revolting manner. Satan then said to him: Give me a cup. They gave him a cup. He coughed up his phlegm and spat it into the cup. They berated him for acting this way, at which point Satan pretended to sink down and die. They heard people around them saying: Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu fled and hid himself in the bathroom. Satan followed him and fell before him. Upon seeing that Peleimu was suffering, he revealed himself to him. Satan said to him: What is the reason that you spoke this way, provoking me by saying: An arrow in the eye of Satan? He replied: But what then should I say? Satan said to him: Let the Master, i.e., Peleimu, say: Let the Merciful One rebuke the Satan.

The Gemarah continues with the story of Pelemu. Nothing is known about him besides that he was a Tanna. Given the structure of the sugya, he lived before Rabbi Akiva.

~ Why is Satan after him, according to the story?

~ What does the story prove?

~ What does the story teach to us? What did it teach Pelemu?

רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אָשֵׁי הֲוָה רְגִיל כׇּל עִידָּן דַּהֲוָה נָפֵל לְאַפֵּיהּ הֲוָה אָמַר: ״הָרַחֲמָן יַצִּילֵנוּ מִיֵּצֶר הָרָע״. יוֹמָא חַד (שְׁמַעְתִּינְהוּ) [שְׁמַעְתֵּיהּ] דְּבֵיתְהוּ, אֲמַרָה: מִכְּדֵי הָא כַּמָּה שְׁנֵי דְּפָרֵישׁ לֵיהּ מִינַּאי, מַאי טַעְמָא קָאָמַר הָכִי? יוֹמָא חֲדָא הֲוָה קָא גָרֵיס בְּגִינְּתֵיהּ. קַשִּׁטָה נַפְשַׁהּ, חָלְפָה וְתָנְיָיה קַמֵּיהּ. אֲמַר לַהּ: מַאן אַתְּ? אֲמַרָה: אֲנָא חָרוּתָא דַּהֲדַרִי מִיּוֹמָא. תַּבְעַהּ. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: אַיְיתִי נִיהֲלַי לְהָךְ רוּמָּנָא דְּרֵישׁ צוּצִיתָא. שְׁוַור, אֲזַל אַתְיֵיהּ נִיהֲלַהּ. כִּי אֲתָא לְבֵיתֵיהּ הֲוָה קָא שָׁגְרָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ תַּנּוּרָא, סָלֵיק וְקָא יָתֵיב בְּגַוֵּיהּ. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: מַאי הַאי? אֲמַר לַהּ: הָכִי וְהָכִי הֲוָה מַעֲשֶׂה. אָמְרָה לֵיהּ: אֲנָא הֲוַאי. לָא אַשְׁגַּח בַּהּ, עַד דִּיהַבָה לֵיהּ סִימָנֵי. אָמַר לַהּ: אֲנָא מִיהָא לְאִיסּוּרָא אִיכַּוַּונִי. כׇּל יָמָיו שֶׁל אוֹתוֹ צַדִּיק הָיָה מִתְעַנֶּה עַד שֶׁמֵּת בְּאוֹתָהּ מִיתָה.

The Gemara relates: Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Ashi was accustomed to say, whenever he would fall on his face in prayer: May the Merciful One save us from the evil inclination. One day his wife heard him saying this prayer. She said: After all, it has been several years since he has withdrawn from engaging in intercourse with me. What is the reason that he says this prayer? One day, while he was studying in his garden, she adorned herself and repeatedly walked past him. He said: Who are you? She said: I am Ḥaruta, a well-known prostitute, returning from my day at work. He propositioned her. She said to him: Give me that pomegranate from the top of the tree as payment. He leapt up, went, and brought it to her, and they engaged in intercourse. When he came home, his wife was lighting a fire in the oven. He went and sat inside it. She said to him: What is this? He said to her: Such and such an incident occurred; he told her that he engaged in intercourse with a prostitute. She said to him: It was I. He paid no attention to her, until she gave him signs that it was indeed she. He said to her: I, in any event, intended to transgress. The Gemara relates: All the days of that righteous man he would fast for the transgression he intended to commit, until he died by that death.

The Gemarah continues with a story about Rabbi Hiyya bar Ashi (3rd century CE).

~ Why is his wife upset with him when she hears the prayer, and what does she do?

~ What does the story prove?

~ What does the story teach to us about the yetzer hara?

~ This is the last story in the sequence. What warning, if any, is it giving?

חוּמָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ דְּאַבָּיֵי אֲתַאי לְקַמֵּיהּ דְּרָבָא, אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: פְּסוֹק לִי מְזוֹנֵי! פְּסַק לַהּ. פְּסוֹק לִי חַמְרָא! אֲמַר לֵיהּ: יָדַעְנָא בֵּיהּ בְּנַחְמָנִי דְּלָא הֲוָה שָׁתֵי חַמְרָא. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: חַיֵּי דְּמָר דַּהֲוָה מַשְׁקֵי לִי בְּשׁוּפְרָזֵי כִּי הַאי. בַּהֲדֵי דְּקָא מַחְוְיָא לֵיהּ אִיגַּלִּי דְּרָעַאּ, נְפַל נְהוֹרָא בְּבֵי דִינָא. קָם רָבָא, עָל לְבֵיתֵיהּ תַּבְעַהּ לְבַת רַב חִסְדָּא. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ בַּת רַב חִסְדָּא: מַאן הֲוַי הָאִידָּנָא בְּבֵי דִּינָא? אֲמַר לַהּ: חוּמָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ דְּאַבָּיֵי. נָפְקָא אַבָּתְרַהּ, מָחֲתָא לָהּ בְּקוּלְפֵי דְשִׁידָּא עַד דְּאַפְּקַהּ לַהּ מִכּוּלֵּי מָחוֹזָא. אָמְרָה לַהּ: קְטַלְתְּ לִיךְ תְּלָתָא, וְאָתֵת לְמִיקְטַל אַחֲרִינָא?!

The Gemara relates: Abaye’s wife, Ḥoma, came before Rava after Abaye died, as Rava was the local judge. She said to him: Apportion sustenance for me, as I am entitled to be sustained by Abaye’s heirs. Rava apportioned sustenance for her. She subsequently said to him: Apportion wine for me as well. Rava said to her: I know that Naḥmani, i.e., Abaye, did not drink wine. Since you were not accustomed to drinking wine during your husband’s lifetime, you are not entitled to it after his death. She said to him: By the Master’s life, this is not correct. In fact, he would give me wine to drink in cups as large as this. She gestured with her hands to show how large the cups were. While she was showing him the size of the cups, her arm became uncovered, and she was so beautiful that it was as though a light had shined in the courtroom. Rava arose, went home, and requested intercourse from his wife, the daughter of Rav Ḥisda. The daughter of Rav Ḥisda said to him: Who was just now in the courtroom? He said to her: Ḥoma, Abaye’s wife, was there. Upon hearing this, Rava’s wife went after Ḥoma and struck her with the lock of a chest until she drove her out of the entire city of Meḥoza, saying to her: You have already killed three men, as Abaye was your third husband, and now you come to kill another one, my husband Rava?

~ How does Abaye deal with his own yetzer hara? What does this teach us about how to del with the yetzer hara?

~ What do you make of the catfight?

תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר: יֵצֶר, תִּינוֹק, וְאִשָּׁה — תְּהֵא שְׂמֹאל דּוֹחָה וְיָמִין מְקָרֶבֶת.
It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says: With regard to the evil inclination, to a child, and to a woman, the left hand should reject and the right hand should welcome. If one pushes too forcefully, the damage might be irreversible.
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