Our masters taught: How does one praise a bride while dancing attendance upon her?

The school of Shammai says: Praise the bride as she is.

The school of Hillel says: Praise the bride as beautiful and full of grace.

The school of Shammai retorted to the school of Hillel: But suppose she is lame or blind? Is one to say, “O bride, beautiful and full of grace,” when the Torah warns: “Keep away from false words (Exodus 23:7)?!

The school of Hillel replied to the school of Shammai: In your opinion, if a person has made a bad purchase in the marketplace, should a friend praise it to his/her face or belittle it? Surely one should praise it to his/her face!

Hence, the Rabbis inferred that one should always endeavor to behave pleasantly with other people (m’orav im habriot).

When R. Dimi came, he said: Thus they sing before the bride in the West: No powder and no paint and no waving [of the hair], and yet still a graceful gazelle.

Great is the cause of peace. Seeing that for its sake even the Holy One, blessed be He, modified [literally, changed, l'shanot] a report [of what Sarah remarked about her husband's sexual inadequacies]. For at first it is written [that Sarah said to herself, when told she would become pregnant at age 90, that that would be impossible, since her 100-year-old husband Abraham] My lord is [too] old. Yet afterwards it is written [that the angel told Abraham that Sarah had laughed saying she was incredulous due to her own age-related sexual impotence], And I am old (Gen. 18:12-13).

Rabbi Ilai further stated in the name of Rabbi Elazar son of Rabbi Shimon:

One may modify a statement in the interests of peace; for it is said in the Tanakh, "Your father commanded before his death: So shall you say to Joseph: Forgive, I pray you, the betrayal of your brothers ..." (Gen. 50: 17).

But Rabbi Natan says: It is a mitzvah. (See I Samuel 16:2).

Question a friend - perhaps he did not do it. Or if he did, so that he will not do it again.

Question your neighbor - perhaps she did not say it. Or if she did, so that she may not repeat it.

Question a friend - for often there is slander and you must not believe everything that is said.

A person may make a slip without intending to. Who has not sinned with l the tongue?

Question your neighbor before you threaten him.

There is rebuke that is uncalled for; a time when one who keeps silent is wise. Yet how much better it is to rebuke someone, than to get angry.

“When a person sins against another, the injured party should not hate the offender and keep silent.

As it is says, [after the rape of his sister Tamar that] Avshalom spoke to [his half-brother, the rapist] Amnon neither good nor evil, for Avshalom hated Amnon [and later he murdered him at a family party]" (II Sam. 13:22).

22

Rather it is his duty to inform the offender and say to him: ‘Why did you do this to me? Why did you sin against me in this matter?’ And thus, it is said, You shall surely rebuke your neighbor (Lev. 19:17).”

There is nothing better for a person than to seek friends who are morally upright. They can enlighten one’s eyes in one’s blind spots and offer criticism out of their love, and thereby save one from all sorts of injury. For one cannot see one’s own guilt, but they can see, understand and caution one to take care. That is the message of Proverbs 24:6: "One is saved by virtue of an abundance of advisors."

"There were hooligans [biryonim, perhaps political opponents] in the neighborhood of Rabbi Meir who were tormenting him [metzaranu can mean annoy, torture physically or needle with polemical remarks] greatly. He would pray for them – so they would to die.

His wife Bruria said to him: "What is your reasoning? [What were you thinking?!] Is it because it says, יִתַּ֤מּוּ חַטָּאִ֨ים מִן־הָאָ֡רֶץ 'Let the wicked [be terminated from the earth]' (Psalms 104:35)? Does it say 'wicked people' ( חוטאים hotim)? No! 'Wicked deeds' ( חטאים hata'im) is written! Moreover, interpret it to accord with the end of the verse, 'And there are no evil-doers anymore.' Now since the verse means wicked deeds will be ended and the wicked will no longer exist, pray [not for them to die, but] pray that they shall repent then there will be no evil-doers anymore!l* So he prayed for them, and they repented."

Note the important rhetorical difference between sarcasm and irony. Sarcasm is a weapon; it creates a no-man's land between two interlocutors or viewpoints, across which each views the other with hostility. By contrast, the more subtle speech mode of irony is a sharp tool, which has the potential for opening up a situation and creating new insights on both sides. Irony...may induce change in a situation through creating intriguing incongruities that stimulate the moral imagination.

Ellen Davis, Biblical Prophecy, p. 188

God is the model for teshuvah in the story of Jonah. God has impulses toward destruction, which have been on display since Noah. Jonah is upset because he embodies the expectation that God’s justice will come in the form of destruction. But Jonah says it himself, “I know that You are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in kindness, renouncing punishment” (Jonah 4:2, NJPS). The message is that God can transform. God can change to do the caring thing rather than the punishing thing. And we—especially at a time of repentance—should strive to do the same.

"Reading Jonah Backward", Neil Hirsh Tablet (September 21, 2023)