(16) Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older one was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. (17) Leah had weak eyes; Rachel was shapely and beautiful.
What do we learn about Leah from this verse?
..AND LEAH'S EYES WERE WEAK-RAKKOTH . R. Johanan's amora translated this before him: And Leah's eyes were [naturally] weak. Said he to him: Your mother's eyes were weak! But what does rakkoth mean? That they had grown weak through weeping, for [people used to say]: This was the arrangement; the elder daughter [Leah] is for the elder son [Esau], and the younger daughter [Rachel] for the younger son [Jacob], while she used to weep and pray, May it be Thy will that I do not fall to the lot of that wicked man. R. Huna said: Great is prayer, that it annulled the decree.5 and she even took precedence of her sister.
(18) Jacob loved Rachel; so he answered, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” (19) Laban said, “Better that I give her to you than that I should give her to an outsider. Stay with me.” (20) So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (21) Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my time is fulfilled, that I may cohabit with her.” (22) And Laban gathered all the people of the place and made a feast. (23) When evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to him; and he cohabited with her.— (24) Laban had given his maidservant Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her maid.— (25) When morning came, there was Leah! So he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I was in your service for Rachel! Why did you deceive me?”
שלא היה לך להסכים שתהיי את צרתי כאמרו ואשה אל אחותה לא תקח לצרור:
you should never have consented to become my competitor as another wife for Yaakov, as the Torah stipulated (in later years) “you must not have two sisters as wives simultaneously;” (Leviticus 18:18)
...The Lord upholdeth all that fall (Ps. CXLV, 14)-viz. childless women who fall [i.e. are disgraced] in their own homes; And raiseth up all those that are bowed down (ib.): as soon as God visits them with children, they are raised up. The proof is that Leah was hated in her house, yet when the Holy One, blessed be He, visited her, she was raised up. Thus it is written, AND THE LORD SAW THAT LEAH WAS HATED, etc. AND THE LORD SAW THAT LEAH WAS HATED. This means that she acted like those who are hated. [Another interpretation]: She was bespoken for an enemy, for such was the arrangement, that the elder son [Esau] should marry the elder daughter [Leah], and the younger son [Jacob] the younger daughter [Rachel], but she wept and prayed, May it be Thy will that I do not fall to the lot of the wicked Esau. R. Huna said: Great is prayer, that it annulled the decree; moreover she took precedence of her sister. [Another interpretation]: All hated [i.e. abused] her: sea-travellers abused her, land-travellers abused her, and even the women behind the beams1 abused her, saying: ' This Leah leads a double life2: she pretends to be righteous, yet is not so, for if she were righteous, would she have deceived her sister!3 R. Judah b. R. Simon and R. Hanan said in the name of R. Samuel b. R. Isaac: When the Patriarch Jacob saw how Leah deceived him by pretending to be her sister, he determined to divorce her. But as soon as the Holy One, blessed be He, visited her with children he exclaimed, ' Shall I divorce the mother of these children! ' Eventually he gave thanks for her, as it says, And Israel bowed down [in thanksgiving] for the bed's head (Gen. XLVII, 31): who was the head of our father Jacob's bed? surely Leah.4
Eikhah Rabbah, Petichta 24
At that moment, Rachel our Matriarch jumped forward before the Holy One Blessed be He and said ”Master of the Universe! it is known before You that Your servant Yacov’s love for me knew no bounds, and he worked for my father for seven years for me. When those seven years were completed and the time came for my marriage to my husband, my father advised exchanging me with my sister. This was exceedingly difficult for me, when I learned of his plan, I informed Yacov. I gave him signs so that he could distinguish between me and my sister, so that my father would not be able to exchange me. After that I regretted it, I suffered [to overcome] my desire – I had compassion for my sister, I didn’t want her to suffer disgrace, so I gave her all the signs that I had given to my husband, so that he would think that she was me (Rachel)…... I acted kindly with her, I was not jealous of her, and I did not cause her to be shamed and disgraced. What am I? Flesh and blood, dust and ashes! But I was not jealous of my ‘rival’ wife, and I did not allow her to be shamed and disgraced, but You, Merciful Living and Eternal King, why are You jealous of idolatry that is not at all important?
Strikingly, the name Leah gives her fourth son, Judah, meaning "I will praise" or "I will express gratitude," becomes the name of the Jewish people as a whole (Jew-Yehudi, comes from the name Judah-Yehudah). Who is a Jew? One who discovers the possibility of gratitude even amidst heartbreak. That is why we are given the name that expresses Leah's courage, and her achievement: a Jew is, ideally, a human being who, like Leah, can find her way to gratitude without having everything she wants or even needs.
Disappointment need not preclude gratitude, and nor need gratitude crowd out the very real possibility of disappointment. Judaism does not ask us to choose one feeling or the other, but rather makes space-indeed, seeks to teach us to make space-for the sheer complexity and contradictoriness of human experience. Who better than Leah to teach us that a broken heart can also have moments of profound fullness.
And Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: From the day the Holy One, Blessed be He, created the world, no one thanked the Holy One, Blessed be He, until Leah came and thanked Him, as it is stated: “And she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and she said, ‘This time I will give thanks to God,’ and thus he was called Judah” (Genesis 29:35).
The sages teach that Leah wasn't the first to express gratitude to God. Many patriarchs and matriarchs expressed their thanks before her. Nonetheless, the Talmud singles her out specifically. What is it about her gratitude that is worthy of extra attention?
(1) When Rachel saw that she had borne Jacob no children, she became envious of her sister; and Rachel said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die.” (2) Jacob was incensed at Rachel, and said, “Can I take the place of God, who has denied you fruit of the womb?” (3) She said, “Here is my maid Bilhah. Consort with her, that she may bear on my knees and that through her I too may have children.” (4) So she gave him her maid Bilhah as concubine, and Jacob cohabited with her. (5) Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. (6) And Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; indeed, [God] has heeded my plea and given me a son.” Therefore she named him Dan. (7) Rachel’s maid Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. (8) And Rachel said, “A fateful contest I waged with my sister; yes, and I have prevailed.” So she named him Naphtali. (9) When Leah saw that she had stopped bearing children, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as concubine. (10) And when Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a son, (11) Leah said, “What luck!” So she named him Gad. (12) When Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a second son, (13) Leah declared, “What fortune!” meaning, “Women will deem me fortunate.” So she named him Asher.
R. Yitzchok Hutner
“… The name Yehudim with which the entire nation is called is in essence that they are constantly modim (thankful) to God for God’s kindness … For the mother who merited to create this name recognized that she got more than her share … the matter of the Todah due to the birth of Yehudah includes within it also the concession that this was not coming to her by right …. In Hebrew, there are two concepts built into one word: an expression of the good (danken in Yiddish) and agreement with the opinion of the other side (nachgeben, ‘to concede’ in Yiddish). For both of these concepts, one joint expression exists in Hebrew: hodaah … The explanation for this is that within the soul of a person is deeply buried an aspiration to rely only on themselves, and not to need any help at all. And the moment a person expresses hakarat tovato (recognition of the good) of their fellow, and gives them todah (thanks), at that very moment there is also an admission that this time they were not able on their own and they needed to make use of their fellow’s kindness. And how much more so the matter between a person and the Omnipresent … In the wild nature of every person is hidden the presumption that ‘kochi v’otzem yadi asah li at hachayil hazeh’ (my strength and the might of my hands made me all of this). And the moment the person sacrifices their Todah (thanksgiving offering) to the Omnipresent this is an admission that they have no agency at all."
בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר, אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם, ... אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ... אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ..אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת...
Ben Zoma said:Who is wise? He who learns from every man ... Who is mighty? He who subdues his [evil] inclination... Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot ...Who is he that is honored? He who honors his fellow human beings ...
Minyan by Rabbi Rami Shapiro
Spirituality is living with attention.
Living with attention leads me to thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is the response I have
To the great debt I accrue with each breath I take.
Attending to the everyday miracles of ordinary living
I am aware of the interconnectedness of all things.
I cannot be without you.
This cannot be without that.
All cannot be without each.
And each cannot be without every.
Thanksgiving is not for anything,
It is from everything.
May I cultivate the attention
to allow the thanks that is life
to inform the dance that is living.