Let's observe Jacob's process of feeling, thinking and actions. What can we learn?
(ד) וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח יַעֲקֹ֤ב מַלְאָכִים֙ לְפָנָ֔יו אֶל־עֵשָׂ֖ו אָחִ֑יו אַ֥רְצָה שֵׂעִ֖יר שְׂדֵ֥ה אֱדֽוֹם׃
(4) Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom,
(ו) וַֽיְהִי־לִי֙ שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר צֹ֖אן וְעֶ֣בֶד וְשִׁפְחָ֑ה וָֽאֶשְׁלְחָה֙ לְהַגִּ֣יד לַֽאדֹנִ֔י לִמְצֹא־חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֶֽיךָ׃
(6) I have acquired cattle, asses, sheep, and male and female slaves; and I send this message to my lord in the hope of gaining your favor.’”
(ז) וַיָּשֻׁ֙בוּ֙ הַמַּלְאָכִ֔ים אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב לֵאמֹ֑ר בָּ֤אנוּ אֶל־אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו וְגַם֙ הֹלֵ֣ךְ לִקְרָֽאתְךָ֔ וְאַרְבַּע־מֵא֥וֹת אִ֖ישׁ עִמּֽוֹ׃
(7) The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and his retinue numbers four hundred.”
(ח) וַיִּירָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב מְאֹ֖ד וַיֵּ֣צֶר ל֑וֹ וַיַּ֜חַץ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם אֲשֶׁר־אִתּ֗וֹ וְאֶת־הַצֹּ֧אן וְאֶת־הַבָּקָ֛ר וְהַגְּמַלִּ֖ים לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־יָב֥וֹא עֵשָׂ֛ו אֶל־הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הָאַחַ֖ת וְהִכָּ֑הוּ וְהָיָ֛ה הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הַנִּשְׁאָ֖ר לִפְלֵיטָֽה׃
(8) Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, (9) thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, the other camp may yet escape.”
יָצַר (v) heb
- to bind, be distressed, be in distress, be cramped, be narrow, be scant, be in straits, make narrow, cause distress, beseige
(י) וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ יַעֲקֹב֒ אֱלֹהֵי֙ אָבִ֣י אַבְרָהָ֔ם וֵאלֹהֵ֖י אָבִ֣י יִצְחָ֑ק יְהֹוָ֞ה הָאֹמֵ֣ר אֵלַ֗י שׁ֧וּב לְאַרְצְךָ֛ וּלְמוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וְאֵיטִ֥יבָה עִמָּֽךְ׃
(10) Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham’s [house] and God of my father Isaac’s [house], O יהוה, who said to me, ‘Return to your native land and I will deal bountifully with you’!
קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֙רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃
I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א מִיַּ֥ד אָחִ֖י מִיַּ֣ד עֵשָׂ֑ו כִּֽי־יָרֵ֤א אָנֹכִי֙ אֹת֔וֹ פֶּן־יָב֣וֹא וְהִכַּ֔נִי אֵ֖ם עַל־בָּנִֽים׃
Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike.
Katonti by Aharon Razel
Katonti by Aharon Razel
Bereshit (Genesis) 32:11-12
קטונתי מכל החסדים ומכל האמת שאשית את עבדל (4x)
I have been diminished by all the kindnesses and by all the truth that You have done Your servant.
כי במקלין אברתי את הירדן ועתה הייתי לשני מחנות
הצילני נא, הצילני נא, הצילני נא (2x)
For with my staff, I crossed this Jordan and now I have become two camps.
Rescue me please, rescue me please, rescue me please!
כי חסדך גדול עלי
והצלת נפשי משאול תחתיה
For Your loving kindness toward me is great
And you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol
כי במקלין אברתי את הירדן ועתה הייתי לשני מחנות
הצילני נא, הצילני נא, הצילני נא (2x)
For with my staff, I crossed this Jordan and now I have become two camps.
Rescue me please, rescue me please, rescue me please!
The story behind this song:
Yonatan Razel experienced his own miracle when his four-year-old daughter Rivkah fell off a porch and was in a coma for weeks. While thousands around the world were praying for her recovery Rivkah suddenly woke up and was eventually healed. People who knew the story assumed that his powerfully moving song “Katonti ” was an ode of gratitude for Rivkah.
However, Yonatan actually composed it years before as a tribute to his grandfather, cellist Mark Rozelar, who was one of Razel’s early music influences. “He was deported from his hometown in Holland and when he found himself on a transport going to Sobibor he managed to jump off the train and save himself. He survived the war and made aliyah, baruch Hashem. Later in his life he spoke to me about the night he jumped and fled into the forest: ‘I had nothing but the clothes on my back and now I have a whole family with grandchildren in Eretz Yisrael’. After he passed away, I composed ‘Katonti’ in his memory.”
(יג) וְהִנֵּ֨ה יהוה נִצָּ֣ב עָלָיו֮ וַיֹּאמַר֒ אֲנִ֣י יהוה אֱלֹהֵי֙ אַבְרָהָ֣ם אָבִ֔יךָ וֵאלֹהֵ֖י יִצְחָ֑ק הָאָ֗רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֤ר אַתָּה֙ שֹׁכֵ֣ב עָלֶ֔יהָ לְךָ֥ אֶתְּנֶ֖נָּה וּלְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃ (יד) וְהָיָ֤ה זַרְעֲךָ֙ כַּעֲפַ֣ר הָאָ֔רֶץ וּפָרַצְתָּ֛ יָ֥מָּה וָקֵ֖דְמָה וְצָפֹ֣נָה וָנֶ֑גְבָּה וְנִבְרְכ֥וּ בְךָ֛ כׇּל־מִשְׁפְּחֹ֥ת הָאֲדָמָ֖ה וּבְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃ (טו) וְהִנֵּ֨ה אָנֹכִ֜י עִמָּ֗ךְ וּשְׁמַרְתִּ֙יךָ֙ בְּכֹ֣ל אֲשֶׁר־תֵּלֵ֔ךְ וַהֲשִׁ֣בֹתִ֔יךָ אֶל־הָאֲדָמָ֖ה הַזֹּ֑את כִּ֚י לֹ֣א אֶֽעֱזׇבְךָ֔ עַ֚ד אֲשֶׁ֣ר אִם־עָשִׂ֔יתִי אֵ֥ת אֲשֶׁר־דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי לָֽךְ׃
(13) And standing beside him was יהוה, who said, “I am יהוה, the God of your father Abraham’s [house] and the God of Isaac’s [house]: the ground on which you are lying I will assign to you and to your offspring. (14) Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants. (15) Remember, I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
כִּֽי־חַ֭סְדְּךָ גָּד֣וֹל עָלָ֑י וְהִצַּ֥לְתָּ נַ֝פְשִׁ֗י מִשְּׁא֥וֹל תַּחְתִּיָּֽה׃
For Your steadfast love toward me is great;You have saved me from the depths of Sheol.