Have you made any changes in your life lately?
Maybe you've moved homes, started a new relationship or ended one, or bought new kitchen mitts on a Cyber Monday sale-- ok, maybe that last one was just me.
Maybe you've moved homes, started a new relationship or ended one, or bought new kitchen mitts on a Cyber Monday sale-- ok, maybe that last one was just me.
I'm on the edge of a major change right now myself.
I can imagine my future down each path of the fork I'm standing at, seeing the shape of the trees in my immediate view, with no sight of what lies beyond the bend.
Cheryl Strayed, writing her advice column Dear Sugar for The Rumpus, answered a question in 2011 by a man wondering whether or not to have a baby. The querent is 41 years old and looking at his future, stuck, unable to decide what to do.
Strayed writes to him, answering: "I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore."
This week's parsha, Parashat Vayeshev, begins:
וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּאֶ֖רֶץ מְגוּרֵ֣י אָבִ֑יו בְּאֶ֖רֶץ כְּנָֽעַן׃
Now Jacob was settled in the land where his father had sojourned, the land of Canaan.
In the previous chapter, we read these same words regarding Jacob's twin, Esau:
(gen 36:8)
וַיִּקַּ֣ח עֵשָׂ֡ו אֶת־נָ֠שָׁ֠יו וְאֶת־בָּנָ֣יו וְאֶת־בְּנֹתָיו֮ וְאֶת־כׇּל־נַפְשׁ֣וֹת בֵּיתוֹ֒ וְאֶת־מִקְנֵ֣הוּ וְאֶת־כׇּל־בְּהֶמְתּ֗וֹ וְאֵת֙ כׇּל־קִנְיָנ֔וֹ אֲשֶׁ֥ר רָכַ֖שׁ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנָ֑עַן וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ אֶל־אֶ֔רֶץ מִפְּנֵ֖י יַעֲקֹ֥ב אָחִֽיו׃ כִּֽי־הָיָ֧ה רְכוּשָׁ֛ם רָ֖ב מִשֶּׁ֣בֶת יַחְדָּ֑ו וְלֹ֨א יָֽכְלָ֜ה אֶ֤רֶץ מְגֽוּרֵיהֶם֙ לָשֵׂ֣את אֹתָ֔ם מִפְּנֵ֖י מִקְנֵיהֶֽם׃וַיֵּ֤שֶׁב עֵשָׂו֙ בְּהַ֣ר שֵׂעִ֔יר עֵשָׂ֖ו ה֥וּא אֱדֽוֹם׃ וְאֵ֛לֶּה תֹּלְד֥וֹת עֵשָׂ֖ו אֲבִ֣י אֱד֑וֹם בְּהַ֖ר שֵׂעִֽיר׃
Esau took his wives, his sons and daughters, and all the members of his household, his cattle and all his livestock, and all the property that he had acquired in the land of Canaan, and went to another land because of his brother Jacob. For their possessions were too many for them to dwell together, and the land where they sojourned could not support them because of their livestock. So Esau settled in the hill country of Seir—Esau being Edom. This, then, is the line of Esau, the ancestor of the Edomites, in the hill country of Seir.
What about Esau? How might Esau feel about settling in the hill country of Seir, away from the land he was raised in, that was meant to be his by virtue of being the first born?
The Rashbam tells us:
מפני יעקב אחיו - כי יעקב קנה את הבכורה ודינו היה לירש את יצחק, לכך ישב בארץ מגורי אביו.
מפני יעקב אחיו, seeing that Yaakov had bought the birthright, and by rights he was entitled to inherit the estate of his father Yitzchok, i.e. the land of Canaan. Therefore, Esau decided to vacate that land in favour of his brother.
A generous take on Esau, willingly vacating the land of their father, Isaac, so that his brother could settle there.
From another perspective, Esau was able to own the land that he and his family settled in. We read in Genesis 36:43, the pasuk immediately proceeding "וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב יַעֲקֹ֔ב", that Esau and his people lived in "אֶ֣רֶץ אֲחֻזָּתָ֔ם", the land of their possessions, presumably the land that they possessed.
This is what the RaMBaN posits, that Esau settled in the land they took to themselves. The land that they chose to settle in.
Meanwhile:
וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּאֶ֖רֶץ מְגוּרֵ֣י אָבִ֑יו בְּאֶ֖רֶץ כְּנָֽעַן׃
Now Jacob was settled in the land where his father had sojourned, the land of Canaan.
Jacob settles in a land that is not his possession, as is Seir for Esau. He settles as he's been told to, following his birthright, in the land that his father had sojourned in. Not the land that his father had settled in, but sojourned in. And it's the land of the Canaanites, not sitting waiting pristine for Jacob and his household.
It seems that Jacob has no agency here, that he is following a pre-destined plan, in the footsteps of his father Isaac.
It seems that Jacob has no agency here, that he is following a pre-destined plan, in the footsteps of his father Isaac.
Does Jacob dream of what his brother has? Is that his ghost ship?
We know the difficulties Jacob is about to encounter in the text.
I hope this isn't a spoiler, but Jacob is about to suffer the seeming loss of his beloved son Joseph and years of inconsolable mourning.
But wait!! Says the RaMBaN.
Jacob chose to live in the Land of Canaan, the Chosen Land.
We're told that Esau and his people lived in "the land of their possessions" to show that Jacob chose to settle in the land his father had sojourned in.
Jacob chose this.
And through this choice, the promise made to Abraham is fulfilled, that Abraham's descendants will be "sojourners in a land that is not theirs" (Gen 15:13).
Jacob chose to live in the Land of Canaan, the Chosen Land.
We're told that Esau and his people lived in "the land of their possessions" to show that Jacob chose to settle in the land his father had sojourned in.
Jacob chose this.
And through this choice, the promise made to Abraham is fulfilled, that Abraham's descendants will be "sojourners in a land that is not theirs" (Gen 15:13).
וישב יעקב בארץ מגורי אביו
...אבל יעקב ישב גר כאביו בארץ לא להם אלא לכנען והכונה להגיד כי הם בוחרים לגור בארץ הנבחרת ושנתקיים בהם כי גר יהיה זרעך בארץ לא להם (בראשית ט״ו:י״ג) ולא בעשו כי ביעקב לבדו יקרא להם זרע:
Vayashev Ya'akov b'eretz migoray ahviv b'eretz Canaan
...But Jacob settled as his father sojourned, in a land that wasn't theirs, rather, it was the Canaanites. And the intention is to tell that they [Jacob and his family] were the ones who elected to sojourn in the Chosen Land, and that, fulfilled through them and not Esau [are the words] "Your offspring will be sojourners in a land that isn't theirs" (Gen 15:13); for Jacob alone will be called their [Abraham's and Isaac's] offspring.
...But Jacob settled as his father sojourned, in a land that wasn't theirs, rather, it was the Canaanites. And the intention is to tell that they [Jacob and his family] were the ones who elected to sojourn in the Chosen Land, and that, fulfilled through them and not Esau [are the words] "Your offspring will be sojourners in a land that isn't theirs" (Gen 15:13); for Jacob alone will be called their [Abraham's and Isaac's] offspring.
Maybe Jacob looks at Esau's possession, Esau's land, not with longing for an unencumbered present, but with curiosity for the ghost ship he is not travelling on.
My blessing for us as we move towards Shabbat is that we know fully what it is what we are choosing, and that we may be blessed by this ship of a choice.