Studying selected verses of the parsha through the lens of Mussar---enabling us to make a connection between the weekly portion and our own lives. We'll explore the middah of compassion and how it relates to end of life events. This parsha ends the book of B'reisheet with a resolution between Joseph and his brothers.
The middah of Rachamim /רחמים / Compassion
Rachamim רחמים from the Hebrew word Rechem which means womb. Compassion refers to a love without boundaries, a love that "stems from the deep knowledge that the child is both of her and not of her." ~Tziporah Altman-Shafer
Bullet Points /key concepts review:
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Jacob lived to 147, and his last years and his death are described
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The earliest mention of shiva, the 7 days of mourning is in this parsha, including the obligation to bury the dead, along with some practices
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Jacob blesses Joseph, and Ephraim and Manashe---his grandsons
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After, Jacob blesses his twelve sons who have gathered at his bed, giving each blessings containing an assessment and prediction
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Joseph mourns his father's death and Jacob is embalmed, and buried in Hebron in a Machpelah cave in Canaan.
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Joseph reassures his brothers that they and their families will be safe and taken care of
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Joseph dies at age 110 and tells his family before that they are to return his bones to their homeland, they promise to take his bones with him when they leave Egypt
In this parsha, Jacob prepares to die. Baba Metziah (87a) says that Jacob is the first person to get sick prior to death. What can we learn about compassion from this?
The Gemara continues discussing Abraham: Until Abraham, there was no aging, i.e., old age was not physically recognizable. Consequently, one who wanted to speak to Abraham would mistakenly speak to Isaac, and vice versa: An individual who wanted to speak to Isaac would speak to Abraham, as they were indistinguishable. Abraham came and prayed for mercy, and aging was at last noticeable, as it is stated: “And Abraham was old, well stricken in age” (Genesis 24:1), which is the first time that aging is mentioned in the Bible. Talmud, Tractate Baba Metzia 87a:14
...Pity, sympathy, empathy, compassion....The recipient of compassion feels its superiority immediately. Unlike pity, it has no condescension. Unlike empathy, it does not require a past or present similar experience on the part of the giver. And while sympathy is a wonderful virtue, it connotes less spontaneity and variety than compassion; one would not normally associate laughter or frivolity with sympathy, for example. And there is also a certain distance or separation inherent in sympathy, one sympathizes with the other. A very wonderful quality, still, sympathy stands at a different level than compassion. While sympathy is a tender response to misfortune or difficulty, compassion is a way of life. Compassion is prepared to meet others wherever they are, recognizing that the circumstance or challenge they now face is as much a part of their life as any other part of their life. Compassion can laugh or cry, joke or commiserate, be curious and inquisitive, chatty or silent. Compassion is not afraid to be fully present, hopeful, or lighthearted. Compassion does not turn away. It is never afraid to see beauty or find humor or share a fractured heart.~Jay Litvin on Chabad.org
(כח) וַיְחִ֤י יַעֲקֹב֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם שְׁבַ֥ע עֶשְׂרֵ֖ה שָׁנָ֑ה וַיְהִ֤י יְמֵֽי־יַעֲקֹב֙ שְׁנֵ֣י חַיָּ֔יו שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֔ים וְאַרְבָּעִ֥ים וּמְאַ֖ת שָׁנָֽה׃
(28) Jacob lived seventeen years in the land of Egypt, so that the span of Jacob’s life came to one hundred and forty-seven years.
These seventeen years were the best years of his life—years of prosperity, goodness and peace; his other 130 years were filled with toil and pain. ~Midrash; Baal HaTurim
The seventeen years that [Yaacov] spent in Egypt enlivened even those years already past.
Nevertheless, in the very next verses we read how Jacob entreats Joseph: “Carry me out of Egypt!” So great is his urgency that he is not content with an agreement or a promise on Joseph’s part, but insists that his son take a solemn oath to fulfill his request.
A Jew might find himself living a most ideal life in galut (exile)—a life of material comfort and spiritual fulfillment; a life of Torah, mitzvot and charitable works. Nevertheless, galut can never be our true home. We constantly sense that this is not our place, constantly beseech G‑d to “carry us out of Egypt.”
Nor do we content ourselves with the guarantees and promises written in the holy books that the redemption will eventually come. After praying for the redemption in the morning prayers, we do so again in the afternoon prayers, and yet again in the evening prayers. We approach G‑d every day, many times a day, to plead and clamor: Take us out of Egypt! ~The Lubavitcher Rebbe
(כט) וַיִּקְרְב֣וּ יְמֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵל֮ לָמוּת֒ וַיִּקְרָ֣א ׀ לִבְנ֣וֹ לְיוֹסֵ֗ף וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ שִֽׂים־נָ֥א יָדְךָ֖ תַּ֣חַת יְרֵכִ֑י וְעָשִׂ֤יתָ עִמָּדִי֙ חֶ֣סֶד וֶאֱמֶ֔ת אַל־נָ֥א תִקְבְּרֵ֖נִי בְּמִצְרָֽיִם׃ (ל) וְשָֽׁכַבְתִּי֙ עִם־אֲבֹתַ֔י וּנְשָׂאתַ֙נִי֙ מִמִּצְרַ֔יִם וּקְבַרְתַּ֖נִי בִּקְבֻרָתָ֑ם וַיֹּאמַ֕ר אָנֹכִ֖י אֶֽעֱשֶׂ֥ה כִדְבָרֶֽךָ׃ (לא) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר הִשָּֽׁבְעָה֙ לִ֔י וַיִּשָּׁבַ֖ע ל֑וֹ וַיִּשְׁתַּ֥חוּ יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל עַל־רֹ֥אשׁ הַמִּטָּֽה׃ {פ}
(29) And when the time approached for Israel to die, he summoned his son Joseph and said to him, “Do me this favor, place your hand under my thigh as a pledge of your steadfast loyalty: please do not bury me in Egypt. (30) When I lie down with my ancestors, take me up from Egypt and bury me in their burial-place.” He replied, “I will do as you have spoken.” (31) And he said, “Swear to me.” And he swore to him. Then Israel bowed at the head of the bed.
God runs the world with three Middot: Middat HaDin- judgment, which relates to a person as they are now. Middat HaRachamim, compassion, relates to what a person can be in the future; their potential to improve and repent, and Middat HaChessed- loving-kindness, which relates to a person as God’s handiwork who receives unrestrained giving and Divine influence (shefa) without limit or pre-condition. ~ Based on Rav Kook, Olat Re’eiah
Compassion is an extremely noble trait. It is one of the 13 traits attributed to the Holy One, Blessed be The One, as it is written: “Compassionate and Gracious.” All that one can do in cultivating this trait, a person should exert himself to do. Just as one would want compassion in their time of need, so should one have compassion on others who are in need. ~ Orhot Tzadikkim {Edited for gender, Ruth Schapira}
(ג) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙ אֶל־יוֹסֵ֔ף אֵ֥ל שַׁדַּ֛י נִרְאָֽה־אֵלַ֥י בְּל֖וּז בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנָ֑עַן וַיְבָ֖רֶךְ אֹתִֽי׃ (ד) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֵלַ֗י הִנְנִ֤י מַפְרְךָ֙ וְהִרְבִּיתִ֔ךָ וּנְתַתִּ֖יךָ לִקְהַ֣ל עַמִּ֑ים וְנָ֨תַתִּ֜י אֶת־הָאָ֧רֶץ הַזֹּ֛את לְזַרְעֲךָ֥ אַחֲרֶ֖יךָ אֲחֻזַּ֥ת עוֹלָֽם׃ (ה) וְעַתָּ֡ה שְׁנֵֽי־בָנֶ֩יךָ֩ הַנּוֹלָדִ֨ים לְךָ֜ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֗יִם עַד־בֹּאִ֥י אֵלֶ֛יךָ מִצְרַ֖יְמָה לִי־הֵ֑ם אֶפְרַ֙יִם֙ וּמְנַשֶּׁ֔ה כִּרְאוּבֵ֥ן וְשִׁמְע֖וֹן יִֽהְיוּ־לִֽי׃ (ו) וּמוֹלַדְתְּךָ֛ אֲשֶׁר־הוֹלַ֥דְתָּ אַחֲרֵיהֶ֖ם לְךָ֣ יִהְי֑וּ עַ֣ל שֵׁ֧ם אֲחֵיהֶ֛ם יִקָּרְא֖וּ בְּנַחֲלָתָֽם׃ (ז) וַאֲנִ֣י ׀ בְּבֹאִ֣י מִפַּדָּ֗ן מֵ֩תָה֩ עָלַ֨י רָחֵ֜ל בְּאֶ֤רֶץ כְּנַ֙עַן֙ בַּדֶּ֔רֶךְ בְּע֥וֹד כִּבְרַת־אֶ֖רֶץ לָבֹ֣א אֶפְרָ֑תָה וָאֶקְבְּרֶ֤הָ שָּׁם֙ בְּדֶ֣רֶךְ אֶפְרָ֔ת הִ֖וא בֵּ֥ית לָֽחֶם׃ (ח) וַיַּ֥רְא יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י יוֹסֵ֑ף וַיֹּ֖אמֶר מִי־אֵֽלֶּה׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יוֹסֵף֙ אֶל־אָבִ֔יו בָּנַ֣י הֵ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־נָֽתַן־לִ֥י אֱלֹהִ֖ים בָּזֶ֑ה וַיֹּאמַ֕ר קָֽחֶם־נָ֥א אֵלַ֖י וַאֲבָרְכֵֽם׃ (י) וְעֵינֵ֤י יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ כָּבְד֣וּ מִזֹּ֔קֶן לֹ֥א יוּכַ֖ל לִרְא֑וֹת וַיַּגֵּ֤שׁ אֹתָם֙ אֵלָ֔יו וַיִּשַּׁ֥ק לָהֶ֖ם וַיְחַבֵּ֥ק לָהֶֽם׃ (יא) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ אֶל־יוֹסֵ֔ף רְאֹ֥ה פָנֶ֖יךָ לֹ֣א פִלָּ֑לְתִּי וְהִנֵּ֨ה הֶרְאָ֥ה אֹתִ֛י אֱלֹהִ֖ים גַּ֥ם אֶת־זַרְעֶֽךָ׃
(3) And Jacob said to Joseph, “El Shaddai, who appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, blessed me— (4) and said to me, ‘I will make you fertile and numerous, making of you a community of peoples; and I will assign this land to your offspring to come for an everlasting possession.’ (5) Now, your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, shall be mine; Ephraim and Manasseh shall be mine no less than Reuben and Simeon. (6) But progeny born to you after them shall be yours; they shall be recorded instead of their brothers in their inheritance. (7) I [do this because], when I was returning from Paddan, Rachel died, to my sorrow, while I was journeying in the land of Canaan, when still some distance short of Ephrath; and I buried her there on the road to Ephrath”—now Bethlehem. (8) Noticing Joseph’s sons, Israel asked, “Who are these?” (9) And Joseph said to his father, “They are my sons, whom God has given me here.” “Bring them up to me,” he said, “that I may bless them.” (10) Now Israel’s eyes were dim with age; he could not see. So [Joseph] brought them close to him, and he kissed them and embraced them. (11) And Israel said to Joseph, “I never expected to see you again, and here God has let me see your children as well.”
“The God in whose ways my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
The God who has been my shepherd from my birth to this day—
(16) The Messenger who has redeemed me from all harm—
Bless the lads.
In them may my name be recalled,
And the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac,
And may they be teeming multitudes upon the earth.” (17) When Joseph saw that his father was placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head, he thought it wrong; so he took hold of his father’s hand to move it from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s. (18) “Not so, Father,” Joseph said to his father, “for the other is the first-born; place your right hand on his head.” (19) But his father objected, saying, “I know, my son, I know. He too shall become a people, and he too shall be great. Yet his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his offspring shall be plentiful enough for nations.”
Commentary on v.16, "In their name..." May God bless them as long as they call themselves by traditional biblical names. The most valuable legacy we can leave our children and grandchildren is bequeathing them the faith that sustained us. ~Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi.
Names represent our identity not simply because they are a convenient way to allow us to be distinguished one from another. It is because they define us. The names we are given at birth aren’t accidental. They are to some extent prophetic. They capture our essence. They are the keys to our soul.The Hebrew word for soul is neshamah. Central to that word, the middle two letters, shin and mem, make the word shem, Hebrew for ‘name.’ Your name is the key to your soul. www.aish.com
(20) So he blessed them that day, saying, “By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.” Thus he put Ephraim before Manasseh. (21) Then Israel said to Joseph, “I am about to die; but God will be with you and bring you back to the land of your ancestors. (22) And now, I assign to you one portion more than to your brothers, which I wrested from the Amorites with my sword and bow.”
Did Jacob then conquer Shechem with sword and bow? But “my sword” is his prayer, and “my bow” is his supplication. ~ Mechilta; Rashi
Why is prayer like a bow? Just like a bow, the more a person draws the bowstring to himself, the further the arrow flies, so it is with prayer: the deeper one delves into one’s own heart, the higher one’s prayer ascends . .~The Rebbe of Kotzk
If a person is not compassionate, what difference is there between him and an animal that isn’t concerned with the suffering of its friend? ~Sefer HaChassidim 87
There is compassion (Rachamim) and kindness (Chessed). The parameters of compassion are such that one is compassionate to the pain of another and the compassion leads towards fulfilling the desires of the one who is suffering, even when that might be detrimental to the sufferer. ~Alan Morinis
(לג) וַיְכַ֤ל יַעֲקֹב֙ לְצַוֺּ֣ת אֶת־בָּנָ֔יו וַיֶּאֱסֹ֥ף רַגְלָ֖יו אֶל־הַמִּטָּ֑ה וַיִּגְוַ֖ע וַיֵּאָ֥סֶף אֶל־עַמָּֽיו׃
(33) When Jacob finished his instructions to his sons, he drew his feet into the bed and, breathing his last, he was gathered to his kin.
Note the word used here: גָּוַע (v) heb
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- to expire, die, perish, be dead, be ready to die
- (Qal) to expire, die, be about to die
- to expire, die, perish, be dead, be ready to die
The Torah is teaching us about leaving a legacy. Jacob is the first in the Torah to intentionally prepare for his death. Before this, Abraham and Isaac had no deathbed experiences with their children. (Though Isaac gave his sons blessing, he goes on to live twenty years after that). Isaac says: דעתי יום מותי" - “ I am old and don’t know when I will die.)
(18) Who is a God like You,
Forgiving iniquity
And remitting transgression—
Not staying angry forever
Toward the remnant of Your own people,
Because You desire loving-kindness! (19) You will take us back in compassion, forgiving
our iniquities. You will hurl all our sins into the depths of the sea. {trans, Ruth Schapira}
ויצוו אל יוסף. ובחיי אביהם למה לא צוו אלא אמרו מה לנו לעורר השנאה שהרי כבר שכחה והלכה לה כיון שחזרו מלקבור אביהם ועבר יוסף על הבור שהשליכוהו אחיו אמר ברוך שעשה לי נס במקום הזה אמרו עדיין יש שנאה טמונה בלבו מיד ויצוו אל יוסף:
ויצוו אל יוסף , “they sent a messenger to deliver an urgent message to Joseph;” why did they not do so during the lifetime of their father? During the lifetime of their father they had thought it best not to resurrect old hatreds, etc. they assumed that the past had been buried. When they had passed the pit into which they had thrown Joseph they observed how Joseph recited the blessing appropriate for people who had been the witness and beneficiaries of Divine miracles. When they saw this, they were afraid that he had not forgiven them for the past.
And Rabbi Ile’a further said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: It is permitted for a person to depart from the truth in a matter that will bring peace, as it is stated: “Your father commanded before he died, saying: So you shall say to Joseph: Please pardon your brothers’ crime, etc.” (Genesis 50:16–17). Jacob never issued this command, but his sons falsely attributed this statement to him in order to preserve peace between them and Joseph.
(6) יהוה passed before him and proclaimed: “!יהוה! יהוה a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness,
There is one singular love in the world, and it is the greatest of God's gifts: the ability to be compassionate. ~The Baal Shem Tov
slow to anger and abounding in kindness.
and His mercy is upon all His works.
[Our Sages] taught [the following] explanation of this mitzvah:
Just as He is called "Gracious," you shall be gracious;
Just as He is called "Merciful," (Compassionate) you shall be merciful (compassionate);
Just as He is called "Holy," you shall be holy;
In a similar manner, the prophets called God by other titles: "Slow to anger," "Abundant in kindness," "Righteous," "Just," "Perfect," "Almighty," "Powerful," and the like. [They did so] to inform us that these are good and just paths. A person is obligated to accustom himself to these paths and [to try to] resemble Him to the extent of his ability.
תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי גַּמְלִיאֵל בְּרַבִּי אוֹמֵר: ״וְנָתַן לְךָ רַחֲמִים וְרִחַמְךָ וְהִרְבֶּךָ״, כׇּל הַמְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת — מְרַחֲמִין עָלָיו מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם, וְכֹל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת — אֵין מְרַחֲמִין עָלָיו מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם.
It was taught in a baraita that Rabbi Gamliel, son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, says: The verse that states: “God will show you mercy and have compassion on you and multiply you” (Deuteronomy 13:18) teaches us that anyone who has compassion for God’s creatures will receive compassion from Heaven, and anyone who does not have compassion for God’s creatures will not receive compassion from Heaven.
Today, with the advent of medicine and science, we are often able to better predict our own death and even when one dies suddenly, we have more tools with which to make our intentions known and to create our legacies. We have the opportunity to prepare our wills, taking care that our assets will go where we intend. In this digital age, we are able to preserve our life stories, accumulated wisdom, messages for future generations in ways that have never been done before. If we follow in Yaakov Avinu’s footsteps and work to create intentional legacy, we can leave memories and lessons that will last into future generations. May we all be merited to live long and beautiful lives, followed by lasting legacies. ~Yael Keller
As the book of Breishit ends and we head toward Shemot, the book which details Jewish captivity in Egypt, we ought to consider the possibility that the curse which brought us there--"ki ger yehiyeh zarecha..." (Gen. 15:13)--also endowed us with a spiritual charge in perpetuity: to learn how to be gerim so that we too might learn to live with awareness and sacred vitality wherever we might find ourselves. ~Rabbi Dr. Erin Leib Smokler