(4) Moses said, “Thus says GOD: Toward midnight I will go forth among the Egyptians, (5) and every first-born in the land of Egypt shall die, from the first-born of Pharaoh who sits on his throne to the first-born of the slave girl who is behind the millstones; and all the first-born of the cattle.
(29) In the middle of the night GOD struck down all the first-born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh who sat on the throne to the first-born of the captive who was in the dungeon, and all the first-born of the cattle. (30) And Pharaoh arose in the night, with all his courtiers and all the Egyptians—because there was a loud cry in Egypt; for there was no house where there was not someone dead.
(א) הבכורות מתענין בערב פסח בין בכור מאב בין בכור מאם ויש מי שאומר שאפילו נקבה בכורה מתענה: (ואין המנהג כן) (מהרי"ל):
(1) The firstborns, either of the father or of the mother, must fast on the eve of Passover. According to one opinion (the Maharil), even a firstborn daughter must fast (though this is not the practice).
"Even a firstborn daughter must fast" -- Since the plague of the firstborn also happened to them, as is explained in the midrash
"It is not the practice" -- The Torah does not give the sanctity of the firstborn to women in any respect.
אַתָּה מוֹצֵא שֶׁאָמַר הַכָּתוּב: כִּי אֵין בַּיִת אֲשֶׁר אֵין שָׁם מֵת, הֵיאַךְ הַנְּקֵבוֹת הַבְּכוֹרוֹת אַף הֵן מֵתוֹת, חוּץ מִבִּתְיָה בַּת פַּרְעֹה, שֶׁנִּמְצָא לָהּ פְּרַקְלִיט טוֹב, זֶה משֶׁה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות ב, ב): וַתֵּרֶא אֹתוֹ כִּי טוֹב הוּא.
You find that the verse states: “As there was no house in which there was no one dead” (Exodus 12:30). How so? The females who were firstborn, they, too, died, except for Bitya, daughter of Pharaoh, for whom a good advocate was found; this is Moses, as it is stated: “She saw him, that he was good” (Exodus 2:2).
ובאגודה כתב דאף נקבה בכורה תתענה וראיה מבתיה בת פרעה דאהני לה זכות משה וכן פסק בתשובות מהרי"ל סימן י"ד ונכון לנהוג כן:
And the Agudah wrote, "Even female firstborns should fast, and there is a proof from Batya the daughter of Pharaoh, who had for herself the merit of Moshe" and this is how the Maharil ruled, and it is right to practice thus.
If we ever thought we were the only slaves in Egypt, if we ever thought we were the only people who have ever suffered unjustly, Exodus 11:5 comes to teach us gently, we were wrong. This Egyptian mother who wakes to find her firstborn dead is perhaps the person in Egypt that the Children of Israel would have related to most closely. She is our co-slave. Set to the same menial tasks one workstation away, we would have talked with her – told stories of our growing children, walked the same direction home at the end of the day. Even though we relate to her, our empathy does not protect her. In this moment, God is saving us. God is not saving her.
When I think about the kind of egalitarianism I want, I don’t want an egalitarianism that places me only alongside men and the most powerful and exceptional of women. I don’t want to share only in the experiences of those who knew with certainty they would be saved by God. I don’t want my liberation to necessitate imagining more death into the story of the Exodus than is already there.
I want a feminist egalitarianism where I can be with women who cry out in pain, where there are no steps those who are vulnerable must take to earn their fullest lives. I want an egalitarianism that pushes me toward solidarity with the woman behind the millstone. I want an egalitarianism that craves less pain rather than more.
Do I really want to insert women victims into the suffering of Egypt, so that I can feel equal in my experience of redemption or my sense of being consecrated to God alongside my husband and other first-born men?
(15) When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, GOD slew every first-born in the land of Egypt, the first-born of both human and animal. Therefore I sacrifice to GOD every first male issue of the womb, but redeem every first-born among my children.’
(13) For every first-born is Mine: at the time that I smote every first-born in the land of Egypt, I consecrated every first-born in Israel, human and animal, to Myself, to be Mine, GOD’s.
(יג) "כִּי אֵין בַּיִת אֲשֶׁר אֵין שָׁם מֵת." רַבִּי נָתָן אוֹמֵר: וְכִי לֹא הָיוּ שָׁם בָּתִּים שֶׁלֹּא הָיוּ בָהֶן בְּכוֹרוֹת? אֶלָּא, כֵּיוָן שֶׁהָיָה הַבְּכוֹר מֵת לְאֶחָד מֵהֶן, הָיוּ עוֹשִׂין לוֹ אִיקוֹנִין,*אִיקוֹנִין. eikónion: תמונה קטנה, דיוקן, צלם. וּמַעֲמִידָהּ בְּבֵיתוֹ. וְאוֹתוֹ הַלַּיְלָה, נִשְׁחֶקֶת וְנִדֶּקֶת*נִדֶּקֶת: נטחנת לאבקה. וְנִזֶּרֶת,*נִזֶּרֶת: מתפוררת. וְהָיָה אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם קָשֶׁה בְעֵינֵיהֶן כְּאִלּוּ אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם קְבָרוּהוּ. וְלֹא עוֹד, אֶלָּא שֶׁהָיוּ הַמִּצְרִים קוֹבְרִין בְּתוֹךְ בָּתֵּיהֶן, וְהָיוּ הַכְּלָבִים נִכְנָסִין דֶּרֶךְ הַכּוּכִין וּמְחַטְּטִין, וּמוֹצִיאִין אֶת הַבְּכוֹרוֹת מִתּוֹךְ כּוּכֵיהֶן וּמְתַעְתְּעִין בָּהֶן,*מְתַעְתְּעִין: משחקים. וְהָיָה אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם קָשֶׁה בְעֵינֵיהֶן כְּאִלּוּ אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם קְבָרוּהוּ.
(13) "for there was no house where no one had died": R. Nathan said: Now were there not houses without first-born? — (The resolution:) If one lost a first-born, he would make an image of him and place it in his house (thinking thereby to preserve him). And on that day the image would disintegrate and be scattered as powder. And that day was as grievous to them as the day of his burial (Thus: "there was no house where no one had died.") And, what is more, the Egyptians would bury them in their houses, and dogs would come and gnaw their way in and would remove the first-born from their crypts and mutilate the corpses. And that day was as grievous to them as the day of burial.