What's a Mezuzah?

What's a Mezuzah "on one foot":

A mezuzah is a box that has verses from the Torah in it. It goes on the doorways of a house (and other Jewish spaces). The Hebrew plural of “mezuzah” is “mezuzot”.

What do You Do With a Mezuzah?

- People touch the mezuzah and then kiss their hand when they enter or leave a room.

Why Do We Put Up a Mezuzah?

- The Bible says "Write [these words] on the doorposts of your home and on your gates" (Deuteronomy 6:9 and 11:20).

- The Biblical word for "doorposts" is "mezuzot" (singular "mezuzah"). Over time, the word "mezuzah" went from “the doorpost” to “the thing that goes on the doorpost”.

- The word "gates" in the Bible meant "city gates", as those were a place where court cases were heard. There is a mezuzah today on the Jaffa Gate and Zion Gate of the Old City of Jerusalem. There is no need to put a mezuzah on the gate in front of a house.

- Putting up a mezuzah marks a space as one in which Judaism is present in some way.

- Some people put up a mezuzah because that is what Jews do, and/or because their Jewish role models (parents or others) did that.

- Putting up a mezuzah upon moving into a new place can help make a house or apartment feel like a home.

Where Do You Put a Mezuzah?

- A mezuzah goes on the doorway of every room in the house except for bathrooms. Closets and other rooms meant for storage also don't need a mezuzah. A sukkah wouldn’t get a mezuzah either because it’s not a permanent “house”.

- On that note, a mezuzah isn’t put up if you are living somewhere for less than 30 days.

- Mezuzahs are put on the right side of the doorway when you are entering a room. They should go on the top half of the doorway (some say the top third), but not all the way at the top so that people can still reach them.

- Some people put mezuzahs lower down on the doorway so either a child or somebody in a wheelchair can reach it.

​​​​​​​What's Inside a Mezuzah?

- The mezuzah contains a scroll of parchment, called a “klaf”.

- On it is handwritten in Hebrew the words of Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ("the Shema and V'Ahavta") and Deuteronomy 11:13-21 ("the V'Haya Im Shamo'a"). These are the texts in the Bible that talk about mezuzah.

- A scribe, called a "Sofer" or "Soferet" (male and female, respectively) has to write the text for it to be considered "kosher".

- The text can be written in about 60-90 minutes of writing, checking each word before writing it. However, if a mistake is made, the parchment must be set aside until the ink dries before the mistake can be fixed. The text must then be checked by somebody else (over Zoom usually these days) before it can be sent to a store or purchaser.

- There are different “fonts”, such as the Spanish-Portuguese and the Arizal styles of writing letters. It doesn’t matter which one a sofer/et uses.

- The letters must be written in order for it to be “kosher” (fit for use). There’s no way to tell that a sofer/et hasn’t “cheated” in some way, which is why it’s important to buy one that’s priced right (otherwise you’re incentivizing poor sofer behavior). For an example of a scribe who takes the time to get good materials and do it right, see here: https://www.arielahousman.com/mzuzot

- Mezuzah scrolls are more challenging to write than Torah scrolls because they are smaller and because every letter must be written in order. If a mistake is noticed later, the sofer/et would need to erase everything back to that point and start over; however, the name of G-d can’t be erased, so they would need to start over from the very beginning in many cases.

What's On the Outside of a Mezuzah?

- The only requirement is that there is a Hebrew letter "shin", which is because of the Divine name "Shaddai". Some say that this name of G-d can be seen as an acronym for “Shomer Daltot Yisrael”, “Guardian of the Doors of the Jewish People”.

- Other than that, the case of a mezuzah can be made of any material that protects the scroll and can be attached to a doorway.

- There is also no color requirement for a mezuzah. However, a transparent case should not be used if it will be opposite a bathroom (and there’s no mezuzah on the doorway of a bathroom at all).

How Do We Put Up a Mezuzah?

- A mezuzah goes on the doorpost, specifically on the right side when you walk into a room.

- You can put it up with a hammer and nail, or, if you are concerned about leaving marks, with a 3M Poster Strip.

- Usually the mezuzah goes on the top third of the doorpost, at a height so that an adult can reach up comfortably and kiss it.

- If it is for a child’s room, the mezuzah could be placed at a height that is comfortable for the child to reach, though it should be affixed in a way that is easy to change as the child grows.

- If it for a space where somebody in a wheelchair might access, the mezuzah should be placed at a height comfortable for them to touch.

- Because there was a dispute about whether the mezuzah should be vertical or horizontal, it is diagonal, with the top leaning toward the inside of the room. The dispute was in Ashkenazi (Eastern and Central European) sources; Sephardi (originating from Spain) sources don’t have any such dispute, so for Sephardic Jews the mezuzah is vertical.

- Putting up a mezuzah upon moving into a new place can be done just by the person / people living in that space, or it can be done as part of a housewarming celebration. No rabbi is required to be present.

- There is a blessing said for putting up a mezuzah:

Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haOlam, asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu likbo’a mezuzah.

How Has the Mezuzah Changed Over Time?

- In the Qumran community by the Dead Sea, there was found a mezuzah parchment in Cave 8. It contained verses from Deuteronomy (10:12-11:21).

- At one point, people were chiseling the Torah verses directly into the doorposts of their homes. This led to the weather “defacing” G-d’s name, and thus things were switched to writing the verses on a piece of parchment which was put into a protective case.

- Archeologists have found both vertical and horizontal grooves next to doors in Israel that seem to be where mezuzot were placed.

What Other Influences Might Explain the Mezuzah?

- The mezuzah might be connected to putting blood on the doorposts to protect from the Angel of Death when leaving Egypt

- In Mesopotamia there was also a concern of protecting spaces of transition (https://www.encyclopedia.com/history/news-wires-white-papers-and-books/gates-and-doors).

Are there Songs About Mezuzahs?

This is Eliana Light's 2017 song about mezuzahs.

This is Sam Glaser's 2012 song about mezuzahs, connecting them with the Exodus from Egypt.

This is Jeff Klepper's 1977 song about mezuzahs.

Are There Stories About Mezuzahs?

This is Amy Meltzer's 2007 book A Mezuzah on the Door, talking about how mezuzahs can help with the transition when moving. Here's an article by the author that talks about the story: https://www.kveller.com/article/a-mezuzah-on-the-door/​​​​​​​ In the read-aloud, the emphasis should be on the "ba" in the phrase "chanukat haBayit" (dedication of the house).

This is Rabbi Sandy Sasso Eisenberg's 2012 book The Shema in the Mezuzah. It talks about why mezuzahs are hung diagonally.

This is a 2012 Shalom Sesame episode (about 3 minutes) that shows how a mezuzah is made.

Dr. Eric Ray (1926-2005) was a sofer who worked on repairing many of the Torahs that survived the Holocaust. In this video, he is showing the tools used to write a Torah, which are the same tools used to write a mezuzah. Fun fact — Dr. Ray used his sofer skills to forge documents in the period leading up to the Israeli War of Independence.

Turning a House Into a Home

When I heard Papa and Anshel outside, banging the dirt off their boots, and Berchik’s eager bark, I grabbed the mezuzah and ran out.

“We need to put the mezuzah up first,” I called. “And then, come in and see the house!”

Anshel fetched nails and a hammer. All of us stood around and watched while Papa attached the mezuzah to the wooden frame of the dugout.

“It’s been so long since I put one of these up that I hardly remember the words,” Papa said. “Not since before Anshel was born. More than seventeen years that is now!”

“Likboa mezuzah,” Mama said.

“Oh yes.”

We said the mezuzah prayer together as the sunset flamed in the western sky. Now the dugout felt like a home, our home. It must be the first mezuzah anyone had ever put up in this place, on this stretch of the vast prairie that was now Papa’s claim. Mr. McIvor wasn’t Jewish, so he wouldn’t have had one. Before that, the Dakota had lived here. And now, driven out, they lived on reservation land. I thought about the arrowheads Anshel had found in the fields. I shivered. Would that happen to us? Would this dugout crumble and the mezuzah fall to the ground, forgotten, for some years from now, to find as they farmed the land again?

Mama reached up and touched the mezuzah as she went in, then kissed her fingers. Libke did the same. Then I lifted first Tsivia and then Pearlie. And then I took a deep breath, touched the familiar surface, silvery and cool, and brought my fingers to my lips. A warm feeling rushed over me, and suddenly I felt strong and calm, able to face this new life in this new, strange world. It might not be our home for always, but it was our home for now. Wherever we went, we would have a mezuzah, and the new place would be home. Without realizing it, I had missed that feeling in the long days of our journey. Touching the mezuzah, kissing my fingers, and walking inside to a place of safety, a place of peace.

A Sky Full of Song, p. 62-63

Context: This excerpt comes from Susan Lynn Meyer’s 2023 book A Sky Full of Song, about a girl named Shoshana and how she moves from Ukraine to North Dakota after a pogrom in 1905.

Appendix A: “Mezuzot 101”

By: Rabbi D’ror Chankin-Gould

Used with permission of the author

My mother-in-law shared that many of her friends are asking whether they should take down their mezuzot this year. In a time when so many of us feel frightened about rising antisemitism, the way in which we publicly mark our homes as Jewish spaces has become, sadly, fraught.

A mezuzah is a Jewish person's most proud, public, and vulnerable declaration of their identity. Mezuzot matter. What message about the Jewish people is a mezuzah meant to communicate to our neighbors and ourselves?

Hanging a mezuzah on the lintels of our doorposts is a tradition that can be traced back to the Torah ( Deuteronomy 11:20 ), where it says, "You shall inscribe [these words] on the doorposts of your homes and upon your gates." Inside the mezuzah is a rolled up klaf (parchment) upon which the first two passages of the Shema are handwritten. Both paragraphs include the mitzvah of placing a mezuzah on the doors of our homes.

On the back of the klaf , one of the mystical names for G-d, Sha-dai is written. These three letters of G-d's name are an acronym for "Guardian ( Shomer ) of the Doorways (Daltot ) of Israel ( Yisrael )." Clearly, the mezuzah conveys a message to our neighbors and to ourselves about faith in the divine, protection from harm, and adherence to the laws and values which have defined our people since its inception.

How is a mezuzah attached? Traditionally, a mezuzah is placed on the upper third of the doorway, on the right-hand side. Just before affixing a mezuzah, one recites a simple one-line blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ אֱ לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לִקְבֹּעַ מְזוּזָה:

Barukh ata A-donai E-loheinu Melekh HaOlam asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu likboa mezuzah.

Blessed are you Adonai the Divine presence in the universe who gives us the invitation to affix a mezuzah to our dwelling place.

There's one more key detail about the manner a mezuzah is affixed. This provides unique insight into the wisdom a mezuzah teaches that the world so desperately needs: a mezuzah is placed neither vertically nor horizontally, but rather on a diagonal, with its top leaning towards the inside. Why?

There was a medieval debate (see Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 289:6) about the placement of the mezuzah . One camp said it should be vertical and one camp said it should be horizontal. And, as Tevye wisely taught us, "they are both right." Jews acknowledge multiple opinions, perspectives, and truths. So, our mezuzot are a compromise: they are placed on a diagonal, because we know that our community is strong and rich when we honor voices from all points on the spectrum and infuse their divergent insights into our practice.

No, we should not take down our mezuzot . If anything, now is the time for the opposite. Now is the moment to proudly place a mezuzah on the doorposts of our homes. That is the courage with which Jews have acted for millennia, and we are privileged to walk in their brave footsteps.

When we enter a home with a mezuzah , we traditionally reach a hand up to touch it. We gently kiss the hand that touched the mezuzah . We lovingly embrace this symbol of our collective identity. We affectionately demonstrate our faith in the G-d who guards the doorways of Israel. We passionately teach that our community is strongest when we lean into the wisdom of a diverse collective.

May we be safe enough and brave enough to proudly place a mezuzah on the doorways of our homes and upon our gates.

Rabbi D'ror Chankin-Gould is Rabbi at Anshe Emet Synagogue. He also serves on the Executive Council and the Administrative Committee of the Rabbinical Assembly and is co-chair of its Gender and Power Committee.

https://www.jewish-chicago.org/Mag/tmpl-article.aspx?id=454432

Appendix B: Mezuzahs and Dinosaurs

By: David Schwartz

Perhaps you’ve seen a mezuzah. You know, the box that we put on our doorposts containing Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (“The Shema and V’Ahavta”) and Deuteronomy 11:13-21 (“V’haya Im Shamo’a”). Like it says in Deuteronomy 6:9, “Write [these words] on the doorposts of your homes and on your gates.”

Why do we do this? Unfortunately, there’s no second half of the verse saying, “…so that when you touch it upon entering your house, you will remember that this is a Jewish space”, nor “… in order that when you leave you remember to be Jewish wherever you go.”

This brings us to dinosaurs. I was asked to teach a class about the intersection of Judaism and dinosaurs. At first I thought there was nothing to teach. After all, dinosaurs are not mentioned in the Torah, the Talmud, or even the Shulchan Aruch. “Dinosaur Day” is not a Jewish holiday (it is, however, real, and celebrated on May 15 and/or June 1 - https://www.twinkl.com/event/dinosaur-day-2024). In the world there are discussions about dinosaurs, and there are discussions about Judaism, and generally they are not overlapping.

After consulting with Maxine Segal Handelman, author of What’s Jewish About Butterflies?, though, I was found out that there are areas of overlap. There are dinosaur discoveries in Israel and Jewish values associated with dinosaurs. There are Jewish paleontologists (not just Ross Geller from “Friends”) and there’s Hebrew vocabulary. There are stories about dinosaurs celebrating Chanukah, and songs about dinosaurs visiting for Shabbat. One can even ponder the hypothetical kashrut of dinosaurs.

So what does this have to do with mezuzahs? The mezuzah has a dual function. On the one hand, it marks a home as a Jewish space. Particularly when the world seems unfriendly, it is important to have a safe space at home to be Jewish. At home, one can try to find ways to incorporate Judaism into seemingly non-Jewish topics, like dinosaurs (“menorasaurus”, anybody?). On the other hand, it is important to bring one’s Jewish identity into the outside world in ways that feel safe. Everybody has something to contribute from their personal background into the wider world, even that if that thing is a Jewish angle on dinosaurs (like dinosaurs having been found in Israel). Two verses before it talks about mezuzahs, the Torah says that we should speak of [Judaism] when we are at home and way, and it seems reasonable to connect that to the mezuzah, viewing it as a reminder. May we always feel safe and brave enough to bring our world into Judaism and Judaism into our world!

Appendix C: Thoughts from The Observant Life

It is a commandment of the Torah to affix a m’zuzah, a small box containing an even smaller piece of parchment on which the first two paragraphs of the Sh’ma have been written, to the doorways of one’s home, including the front door (SA Yoreh Dei-ah 285:1). The parchment is rolled and inserted into a case that is affixed to the right side of the doorway. (Right and left in this context may be a bit confusing, but the general rule is that we imagine someone coming through the front door of one’s home and walking toward the back. The sides of the various archways and doorways such a person would regard as being on his or her right are the sides to which a m’zuzah should be affixed.). It is attached about one-third of the way down (at about eye level for most adults) and should be attached diagonally, with the upper end tilted inward. Nor are children’s bedrooms exempt from the mitzvah. Indeed, the Shulchan Arukh specifically notes (at SA Yoreh Dei-ah 291:3) that children should be trained to put up the m’zuzot on their own doors.

The m’zuzah serves as a reminder that the rooms of our homes are potentially sacred space in which G-d may be encountered. The m’zuzah reminds us to remain open to the potential encounters with the sacred as we enter our homes and move through its rooms.

The m’zuzah should be affixed to every doorway of the house except for the bathrooms. (If two rooms flow into each other without there actually being an archway or doorway, there is no need for a second m’zuzah.). Before affixing the m’zuzah, a blessing is recited: Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu, Melech ha-Olam, asher kidd’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu likbo-ah m’zuzah (“Praised are You, Adonai, our God, Sovereign of the universe, who, sanctifying us with divine commandments, has commanded us to affix the m’zuzah“).

If one is affixing more than one m’zuzah at the same time, it is sufficient to recite the benediction once. Aside from the fact that doing so constitutes the fulfillment of one of the most prominent mitzvot of the Torah, the presence of the m’zuzah at the entrance to a Jewish home also serves as a symbol of pride in Jewish identity and an affirmation of Jewish unity.

The Observant Life, ed. Martin Cohen, p. 57

Appendix D: Can a Non-Jew Put Up a Mezuzah?

Question: My wife and I are not Jewish, but we were thinking of putting a mezuzah on our door frame in solidarity with our Jewish community members facing antisemitism. I just want to make sure it would not be insulting to the Jewish community and if you have any advice for us.

God bless and Shalom.

— Robert

Answer: Robert, hanging a mezuzah on your door is not an insult at all. It is a very meaningful act!

Here’s some helpful information: Mezuzahs have two parts. There is an outside case that is visible and often decorative but the real ritual part (the commandment, as interpreted by the rabbis) is a small scroll inside the case, called a klaf, that contains chapters from Deuteronomy. You are welcome to get both the case and the scroll but because they are hand-written by scribes scrolls can be pricey! I would suggest that to show solidarity with the Jewish people, which is such a wonderful thing, you put up the case and don’t worry about the scroll inside, which no one will see anyway. But even if you wanted to put the scroll inside, it would be fine. Thank you so much for your solidarity!

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ask-the-expert-can-a-non-jew-hang-a-mezuzah-on-their-doorpost/

Appendix E: A Mezuzah Joke

In a slalom race, the skier must pass through about 20 gates in the fastest time. When passing a mezuzah in a doorway, the custom is to slow down, touch it and kiss one's finger tips. Well, it once happened that a very Orthodox Yeshiva student in Montreal was an exceptional skier. So fast was he, that even with tzitzis streaming out behind, he had beaten the world record several times. After first checking to make sure none of the men's slalom races would be on the Sabbath, he tried out for and made the Canadian Winter Olympics team. With his times in the trial meets, he was the favorite for an Olympic gold medal.

Came the day of the final, the crowd waited in anticipation. The French champion sped down in 38 seconds. The Swiss in 38.7 seconds. The German in 37.8 seconds. The Italian in 38.1 seconds. Then came the turn of the Canadian Yeshiva student. The crowd waited, and waited....

Finally, after a full "five minutes, he crossed the finish line. "What happened to you?" "What is going on?" screamed the coach when the skier finally arrived. Breathing hard, the exhausted Yeshiva student replied, "All right, who's the wise-guy who put a mezuzah on every gate?" (Thanks to Adam Stein of Jooz Nooz, for this story.)

http://haruth.com/mw/ski_racing.htm

Appendix F: How to Talk to a Non-Jewish Partner about Putting Up a Mezuzah

How Do I Ask My Non-Jewish Partner if It’s OK for Us To Put up a Mezuzah?

Months have passed since we moved in together and I'm not sure how to bring it up now.

By: Vanessa Pamela Friedman

When I first moved into my partner’s flat, I didn’t ask to put my mezuzah up (my partner isn’t Jewish). Months have passed and I’m not sure how to bring it up now because I’ve left it so long. I know we’ll both be worried about the antisemitism we might face as a potential consequence of being so visibly Jewish, but I do not feel comfortable without having them on my doors. Any advice on broaching the subject would be great.

Thanks!

Hi friend! Mazel tov on moving in with your partner. That’s a big step in any relationship, and while it’s very exciting and fun, it can also provide some stressful moments and some opportunities for growth. This is one such opportunity!

Dating is really just a series of decisions we make with another person to see if we’re compatible and if we want to keep investing in each other. This goes for casual dating, serious dating, monogamous dating, polyamorous dating… regardless of your goals and priorities when it comes to dating, the decisions are always there.

There are infinite decisions when it comes to dating and relationships: Will you live together, what city will you live in, will you eventually merge finances, will you have kids, what will you order for takeout tonight, do you want a joint gym membership, which trashy reality TV will you watch together, who will take out the recycling and who will call the plumber… etc etc etc etc etc, and if you decide to spend your lives together, the decisions will only continue, literally forever!

Moving in together and choosing how to honor your religion together are two fairly major decisions in the scheme of dating, but I bring up all those other decisions (some pretty frivolous in comparison!) to hopefully deescalate the tension you feel about this conversation. Sure, these are big decisions, but making choices is just part of dating and being in relationship with another human. You haven’t done anything wrong by “leaving it so long” and “broaching the subject” is an extremely regular and reasonable thing to do. Here’s how I recommend this go down — and just for the record, this is a great script for any future decision-making conversation you and your partner will need to have!

Think about your own feelings and goals before you discuss with your partner

This is always a good first step when approaching a conversation with anyone. Figure out exactly what you’re asking your partner. In this case, it’s pretty straight-forward: You want to put a mezuzah up in your shared home. But I wonder if there are some underlying desires here, too. You say you moved in to your partner’s place — does it still sort of feel like “your partner’s place” and you just live there? How can you two work together to make it feel more like “ours” rather than “theirs”? Are there other Jewish ritual items you might like to have around the apartment (like Shabbat candlesticks, or a print by a Jewish artist)? Perhaps you two can host a housewarming for your shared new space, even if it’s not brand new for your partner, to commemorate the new shared life you’re building together.

Also, for this specific question, I’d consider if you’re comfortable with compromises or not. If your partner says, “No, I don’t want to hang a mezuzah,” will that be a deal breaker? If they suggest you hang it inside the home instead of on the external doorway, how will that feel? There’s no right or wrong answer here — many people would say “break up with this person!” if they don’t let you hang a mezuzah (and frankly, I would agree), but at the end of the day, only you can decide what’s right for you in your relationship. But you need to figure that out before approaching your partner.

Try not to make assumptions about how your partner will feel

You write in your question “I know we’ll both be worried about the antisemitism we might face as a potential consequence of being so visibly Jewish,” but are you sure about that? Has your partner shared those views before? You may be right (and you certainly are the expert on how you feel) but I would take a pause here and check in with yourself, making sure you’re not assuming how your partner will feel before you talk.

If they’re not Jewish, it probably hasn’t occurred to them that you want to put up a mezuzah. Even if they were Jewish, they may not be interested in hanging a mezuzah. Jewish rituals and customs are so personal even in their universality; even if you were living with another Jew, you may feel differently about hanging a mezuzah. So let’s say your partner hasn’t considered a mezuzah ever in their life — maybe they don’t even know what one is! This is a beautiful moment to share something special about your religion with them, and bring them closer to your Judaism.

It’s true, they may feel nervous about antisemitism you two may face. But that’s something the two of you can work through together.

Choose a time when you both feel calm and relaxed to chat

No one ever had a productive and happy conversation when they are tired, hangry or needing to pee. You shouldn’t feel like you have to tip-toe around a partner — as I said, casual and major decision making is simply part of a relationship, so you have to be able to do it pretty regularly — but there’s no reason to stage a conversation you’re nervous about in less than ideal circumstances.

So pick a time when you’re both calm and relaxed — and well-fed, and with empty bladders! — and introduce the subject. I’d be very direct and matter of fact about it. As I said, you haven’t done anything wrong. If you’re looking for a script, here’s one:

“Hey babe. I haven’t brought this up yet, but it feels really weird to be living somewhere without a mezuzah on the door. I’d like to put one up. Would you be OK with that?”

Additional script items might include:

“Oh, great question. A mezuzah is a small box that is placed on the right doorpost of Jewish homes. It provides protection to the people who live there.”

“Yeah, I do have one. We could pick a new one out together if that sounds fun, though.”

“To be honest, it does make me a little nervous to visibly show my Judaism on our home — but it makes me more uncomfortable to not have a mezuzah up. Do you want to talk through what it means to potentially be a target for antisemitism? This is going to come up more for you now, as you’re my partner, and it’s something I unfortunately have to think about as a Jew.”

Conclude with an action item and follow through

When you finish up a decision-making conversation, you should have at least one action item and a plan to execute it. If you already have a mezuzah and decided to put it up, when will that happen? Do you have the tools you need? If you’re going to buy a new mezuzah together, when will you shop for one? Right now, online? Next weekend, at a Jewish craft market? Committing to following through on the decision you’ve made builds trust and will make future big decision-making conversations less scary, because you will both know you can count on each other for follow through.

What if the conversation goes poorly?

OK, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address this — what if you do everything above and your partner is simply like, “No, you absolutely cannot put a mezuzah on our home.” Well I’m going to be honest: I personally would probably break up with this person. It sounds like your Judaism is very important to you, and that reaction would tell me: OK, this person does not care about a huge piece of who I am, and they do not want me to be comfortable in our shared home. I’m out. So yes, while I try not to be prescriptive, I do think if the answer here is “absolutely no” you should very seriously consider breaking up.

But the truth is, partnerships are tricky, and plenty of people stay in relationships that I personally think they should leave because something in it is feeding them. If I’m being completely honest, I have been guilty of this too — so sorry to everyone who weathered my on-again-off-again scenario of 2021! So be gentle with yourself, but do think about your hard boundaries when it comes to partnership. Your ask is extremely reasonable. This conversation should be a pretty easy one to set up a solid foundation for your relationship for the future! If it doesn’t go well, it may be a sign it’s time to go. But hopefully that’s not the case, and soon you and your partner will have a beautiful mezuzah hanging on the doorframe of your shared home.

https://www.heyalma.com/how-do-i-ask-my-non-jewish-partner-if-its-ok-for-us-to-put-up-a-mezuzah/

Appendix G: What are some Important Texts About Mezuzahs?

With appreciation to: Rabbi Katie Mizrahi, Josh Pernick, Melissa Kansky, Loren Berman, Hal Rudin-Luria, David Schlusselberg, Josh Weiner, Daniel Alter,

Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor, The Mezuzah, Our Reminder to to Bring Peace to Our Homes

Traditionally, a Jewish home is not complete without a mezuzah on its doorpost.

You may have noticed that a mezuzah is often hanging neither vertically or horizontally, but rather is tilted at an angle. The origin of this custom can teach us about an important Jewish value: Shalom bayit, peace in the home.

The custom to hang the mezuzah at an angle began as the result of an almost one thousand year old disagreement. The great Torah scholar Rashi (1040-1105) ruled that the mezuzah should be hung vertically. He did this because in a Sephardic community, such as the one in which he lived, the Torah is held in a vertical position when it is read. On the other hand, Rashi’s grandsons lived in an Ashkenazic milieu.

Because the Torah is laid in a horizontal position for reading in Ashkenazic communities, these grandsons ruled that the mezuzah should be hung horizontally. In the spirit of compromise, the custom became to hang the mezuzah at an angle.

Put another way, at the very moment when we enter our homes, we are reminded of the importance of finding a way to live in peace with one another.

The point isn’t that we’ll always see eye to eye with the folks we live with; rather, it’s that we commit to working through our disagreements with one another.

The very first word on the mezuzah scroll is “Shema,” or listen. We make a commitment to listen to each other and to find a way to live in peace with each other.

Shalom bayit, like so many of our values, is not to be attained all at once. Rather, we make a commitment to work with our loved ones towards this goal each day, with its blessings, each day, with its challenges.

Each day, when we return to our homes, we see our mezuzah, our reminder of peace and compromise, our reminder of the type of home we would like to create, before ever we cross our threshold.

My Jewish Learning

Way back in the 11th century, Rashi, a French rabbi and commentator, opined that when you put up your mezuzah, it should be hung vertically (Rashi and Tosafot on Menahot 33a). But then Rashi’s grandson came along. He’s known as Rabbenu Tam, and he wrote that a mezuzah should be affixed horizontally, because the Ten Commandments and the Torah scrolls were kept horizontally in the ark in the Temple.

A hundred and fifty years later Rabbi Jacob Ben Asher, also sometimes called the Tur, was writing his book of Jewish law, the Arbaah Turim. In it, Ben Asher suggests that the way to hold by the precedents of both Rashi and Rabbenu Tam was to split the difference, and affix your mezuzah at a slant (pointing into the room). (Yoreh Deah 289)

Three hundred years later this view was codified again by the Rema, an Ashkenazi commentator, who noted that slanting a mezuzah had become the common custom among Ashkenazi Jews. (Sephardi and Mizrahi Jews today still hang their mezuzot vertically.)