(ב) כָּל הַנִּכְנָסִין לְהַר הַבַּיִת נִכְנָסִין דֶּרֶךְ יָמִין וּמַקִּיפִין וְיוֹצְאִין דֶּרֶךְ שְׂמֹאל, חוּץ מִמִּי שֶׁאֵרְעוֹ דָבָר, שֶׁהוּא מַקִּיף לִשְׂמֹאל.
מַה לך מַקִּיף לִשְׂמֹאל,
שֶׁאֲנִי אָבֵל, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יְנַחֲמֶךָּ.
שֶׁאֲנִי מְנֻדֶּה, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יִתֵּן בְּלִבָּם וִיקָרְבוּךָ, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי מֵאִיר.
אָמַר לוֹ רַבִּי יוֹסֵי, עֲשִׂיתָן כְּאִלּוּ עָבְרוּ עָלָיו אֶת הַדִּין. אֶלָּא, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יִתֵּן בְּלִבְּךָ וְתִשְׁמַע לְדִבְרֵי חֲבֵרֶיךָ וִיקָרְבוּךָ:
(2) All who entered the Temple Mount entered by the right, circled [to the right] and exited by the left, except for one to whom something had happened, who entered and circled to the left.
[That person was asked]: “What happened to you? Why do you circle to the left?”
“Because I am a mourner,” [they replied.]
[And they were blessed:] “May the One who dwells in this house comfort you.”
[If they replied] “Because I have been ostracized,” [they were blessed]: “May the One who dwells in this house inspire them [your community] to draw you near again,” according to Rabbi Meir.
But Rabbi Yose challenged him: you make it seem as if they [the community] treated him unjustly! Rather [they should bless him]: “May the One who dwells in this house inspire you to hear the words of your colleagues so that they may draw you near again.”
Questions To Consider
a. The ancients direct the brokenhearted to walk in the opposite direction of the rest of the community. Have you ever felt that you were walking in one direction, and the whole world in another? What is hard and what might be the benefit in acknowledging that painful reality publicly?
b. What kind of assurances would you need to have regarding your community or surroundings in order to feel safe entering a sacred space when your heart is broken?
c. This ritual calls us to engage one another even when all parties would instinctively turn away. When have you stepped closer to another person’s pain? When have you shown up? How did it make you feel?
d. Based on this ritual, how would you define community? Why do human beings need that?
אבל: יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא.
קהל: אמן
אבל: בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
קהל: אמן
קהל ואבל: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:
אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא.
קהל: בריך הוא:
אבל: לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
קהל: אמן
אבל: יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
קהל: אמן
אבל: עוֹשה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
קהל: אמן
Mourner: Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba…
Community: Amen.
Mourner: b’alma di-v’ra chirutei, v’yamlich malchutei b’chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei d’chol beit yisrael, ba’agala uvizman kariv, v’im’ru: “amen.”
Community: Amen.
Community and Mourner: Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam ul’almei almaya.
Mourner: Yitbarach v’yishtabach, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam v’yitnaseh, v’yithadar v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal sh’mei d’kud’sha, b’rich hu,
Community: b’rich hu.
Mourner: l’eila min-kol-birchata v’shirata, tushb’chata v’nechemata da’amiran b’alma, v’im’ru: “amen.”
Community: Amen.
Mourner: Y’hei shlama raba min-sh’maya v’chayim aleinu v’al-kol-yisrael, v’im’ru: “amen.”
Community: Amen.
Mourner: Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu v’al kol-yisrael, v’imru: “amen.”
Community: Amen.
Mourner's Kaddish-- Traditional Translation
Mourner: May God's great name be exalted and hallowed...
Community: Amen!
Mourner: ...throughout the created world, as is God's wish. May God's sovereignty soon be established, in your lifetime and in your days, and in the days of all the house of Israel. And we say:
Mourner and Community: Amen! May God's great name be acknowledged forever and ever.
Mourner: May the name of the Holy One be acknowledged and celebrated, lauded and worshipped, exalted and honored, extolled and acclaimed - through God, who is blessed
Community: Brikh Hu -
Mourner: is truly beyond all acknowledgement and praise, or any expressions of gratitude or consolation ever spoken in the world. And we say:
Community: Amen!
Mourner: May heaven bestow on us, and on all Israel, life and abundant and lasting peace. And we say:
Community: Amen!
Mourner: May the One who creates peace on high bring peace to us and to all Israel [and to all who dwell on earth]. And we say:
Community: Amen.
Mourner's Kaddish - Interpretive Translation (The Amen Effect p. 17-19)
INT. SYNAGOGUE - DAY
The MOURNER - tired, disoriented, teary - rises. The community stops its quiet chatter and looks over as he begins, slowly, almost in a whisper.
MOURNER
I am in anguish -
In one, unified voice, the community responds.
COMMUNITY
Amen! We're right here. We see you.
The MOURNER takes a breath and continues.
MOURNER
I don't know how to hold this pain.
COMMUNITY AND MOURNER
Amen! We wish it could be different.
MOURNER
I'm afraid I'll forget the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair.
COMMUNITY
Amen. We will never let her disappear from this world. We will say her name and honor her memory. Amen!
MOURNER
I can't do this alone.
COMMUNITY
Amen. We're not going anywhere. We can't take your pain away, but we can cry with you and laugh with you. We can hear the same story as many times as you need to tell it. We can help you remember. Amen!
Questions To Consider
a. Have you ever found meaning in reciting or responding to Mourner's Kaddish? Share what that experience was like for you.
b. What-- if any-- new dimensions to the Kaddish does the interpretive translation reveal?
c. In some Jewish communities, everyone stands during Mourner's Kaddish, to support those who are reciting these words. In others, only the mourners stand, to make it easier to identify who is suffering, and who needs to be supported. Which practice resonates more deeply for you?
אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי: כׇּל הָעוֹנֶה ״אָמֵן יְהֵא שְׁמֵיהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ״ בְּכׇל כֹּחוֹ, קוֹרְעִין לוֹ גְּזַר דִּינוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״בִּפְרוֹעַ פְּרָעוֹת בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל בְּהִתְנַדֵּב עָם בָּרְכוּ ה׳״. מַאי טַעְמָא ״בִּפְרוֹעַ פְּרָעוֹת״ — מִשּׁוּם דְּ״בָרְכוּ ה׳״.
רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אֲפִילּוּ יֵשׁ בּוֹ שֶׁמֶץ שֶׁל עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה — מוֹחֲלִין לוֹ. כְּתִיב הָכָא: ״בִּפְרוֹעַ פְּרָעוֹת״, וּכְתִיב הָתָם: ״כִּי פָרוּעַ הוּא״.
אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ: כָּל הָעוֹנֶה ״אָמֵן״ בְּכׇל כֹּחוֹ פּוֹתְחִין לוֹ שַׁעֲרֵי גַן עֵדֶן, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״פִּתְחוּ שְׁעָרִים וְיָבֹא גוֹי צַדִּיק שׁוֹמֵר אֱמוּנִים״, אַל תִּיקְרֵי ״שׁוֹמֵר אֱמוּנִים״ אֶלָּא: ״שֶׁאוֹמְרִים אָמֵן״. מַאי ״אָמֵן״? אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא: ״אֵל מֶלֶךְ נֶאֱמָן״.
Concerning the reward for honoring Shabbat, the Gemara cites statements about the reward for answering amen. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said that anyone who answers: "Amen, may God's great name be blessed," wholeheartedly, with all his might, is instantly forgiven, meaning they tear up his sentence, as it is stated: “When punishments are annulled in Israel, when the people offer themselves, bless the Lord” (Judges 5:2). What is the reason for when punishments are annulled? Because the Jewish people blessed God.
Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Even if one has within him a trace of idolatry, when he answers "amen" he is forgiven. It is written here, in the verse above: “When punishments [pera’ot] are annulled.” And it is written there, with regard to the sin of the Golden Calf: “And Moses saw that the nation was wild [paru’a], for Aaron had let them loose for anyone who might rise against them” (Exodus 32:25).
Even one with the wildness of idolatry is forgiven. Reish Lakish said: One who answers "amen" with all his strength, they open the gates of the Garden of Eden before him, as it is stated: “Open the gates, and a righteous nation shall come who keeps the faith” (Isaiah 26:2). Do not read: Who keeps [shomer] the faith [emunim], but rather: Who say [she’omerim] amen. What is the allusion of the word amen? Rabbi Ḥanina said: It is an acronym of the words: God, faithful Sovereign [El Melekh ne’eman].
The Gemara asks: Are you suggesting that a person reciting a blessing is better than a person answering 'amen'?! Didn't Rabbi Yose teach the opposite in a baraita: The reward of the one who answers amen is greater than the reward of the one who recites the blessing!
Questions To Consider
a. The Rabbis indicate that saying "amen" is an act of great holiness. From what does that act derive its sanctity? What are you actually saying when you say "amen" to another person's blessing or experience?
b. The word "amen" is connected to "ne'eman," meaning faith. What does faith or faithfulness have to do with this? In what or whom are you expressing faith when you say “amen”?
c. Why does Rabbi Yose claim that saying "amen" is even better than saying the blessing itself?
A Closing Exercise
Is anyone among you mourning the death of a loved one, or marking a yahrzeit, the anniversary of a death? If so, please share the name of the person or people you are remembering. And then invite the mourners to rise, and return to text #3 to recite the Mourner's Kaddish, while the community responds: "Amen."
Invitation To Practice (The Amen Effect p. 182):
Instead of leaving a vague message ("Let me know if you need anything..."), GO. TO. THE. FUNERAL. You will never regret showing up for the funeral... And if you really can't get to the funeral, do something. Pick up the phone. Drop off groceries. Send cookies. Your presence matters.