Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 474
Terror can rule absolutely only over men who are isolated against each other… Therefore, one of the primary concerns of all tyrannical government is to bring this isolation about. Isolation may be the beginning of terror; it certainly is its most fertile ground; it always is its result. This isolation is, as it were, pretotalitarian; its hallmark is impotence insofar as power always comes from men acting together…; isolated men are powerless by definition.
Questions To Consider
a. We know that loneliness and social isolation can harm our bodies and our spirits. According to Arendt, how do these forces pose a danger to our society and to our democracy?
b. Tribal identities can be a great source of strength. Who is your tribe? When has your tribe strengthened you or given you comfort?
c. The danger of tribalism is that the deeper our affinity to our tribe, the harder it is to connect with those outside it. Have you experienced that sense of disconnect? What, if anything, have you done about it?
אַבָּא חִלְקִיָּה בַּר בְּרֵיהּ דְּחוֹנִי הַמְעַגֵּל הֲוָה, וְכִי מִצְטְרִיךְ עָלְמָא לְמִיטְרָא הֲווֹ מְשַׁדְּרִי רַבָּנַן לְגַבֵּיהּ וּבָעֵי רַחֲמֵי, וְאָתֵי מִיטְרָא. זִימְנָא חֲדָא אִיצְטְרִיךְ עָלְמָא לְמִיטְרָא, שַׁדּוּר רַבָּנַן זוּגָא דְּרַבָּנַן לְגַבֵּיהּ לְמִבְעֵי רַחֲמֵי דְּנֵיתֵי מִיטְרָא. אֲזוּל לְבֵיתֵיהּ וְלָא אַשְׁכְּחוּהּו, אֲזוּל בְּדַבְרָא וְאַשְׁכְּחוּהּ דַּהֲוָה קָא רָפֵיק, יְהַבוּ לֵיהּ שְׁלָמָא וְלָא אַסְבַּר לְהוּ אַפֵּיהּ. בְּפַנְיָא, כִּי הֲוָה מְנַקֵּט צִיבֵי, דְּרָא צִיבֵי וּמָרָא בְּחַד כַּתְפָּא, וּגְלִימָא בְּחַד כַּתְפָּא. כּוּלַּהּ אוֹרְחָא לָא סָיֵים מְסָאנֵי, כִּי מָטֵי לְמַיָּא סָיֵים מְסָאנֵיהּ. כִּי מְטָא לְהִיזְמֵי וְהִיגֵי דַּלִּינְהוּ לְמָנֵיהּ. כִּי מְטָא לְמָתָא, נָפְקָה דְּבֵיתְהוּ לְאַפֵּיהּ כִּי מִיקַּשְּׁטָא. כִּי מְטָא לְבֵיתֵיהּ, עַלַּת דְּבֵיתְהוּ בְּרֵישָׁא, וַהֲדַר עָיֵיל אִיהוּ, וַהֲדַר עָיְילִי רַבָּנַן. יְתֵיב וּכְרֵיךְ רִיפְתָּא וְלָא אֲמַר לְהוּ לְרַבָּנַן תּוּ כְּרוּכוּ. פְּלַג רִיפְתָּא לְיָנוֹקֵי, לְקַשִּׁישָׁא — חֲדָא, וּלְזוּטְרָא — תְּרֵי.
אֲמַר לַהּ לִדְבֵיתְהוּ: יָדַעְנָא דְּרַבָּנַן מִשּׁוּם מִיטְרָא קָא אָתוּ, נִיסַּק לְאִיגָּרָא וְנִיבְעֵי רַחֲמֵי, אֶפְשָׁר דְּמִרַצֵּי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא וְיֵיתֵי מִיטְרָא וְלָא נַחְזֵיק טֵיבוּתָא לְנַפְשִׁין. סַקוּ לְאִיגָּרָא, קָם אִיהוּ בַּחֲדָא זָוִיתָא, וְאִיהִי בַּחֲדָא זָוִיתָא, קְדוּם סְלוּק עֲנָנֵי מֵהָךְ זָוִיתָא דִּדְבֵיתְהוּ.
כִּי נָחֵית אֲמַר לְהוּ: אַמַּאי אֲתוֹ רַבָּנַן? אֲמַרוּ לֵיהּ: שַׁדַּרוּ לַן רַבָּנַן לְגַבֵּי דְּמָר לְמִיבְעֵי רַחֲמֵי אַמִּיטְרָא. אֲמַר לְהוּ: בָּרוּךְ הַמָּקוֹם שֶׁלֹּא הִצְרִיךְ אֶתְכֶם לְאַבָּא חִלְקִיָּה.
אֲמַרוּ לֵיהּ: יָדְעִינַן דְּמִיטְרָא מֵחֲמַת מָר הוּא דַּאֲתָא, אֶלָּא לֵימָא לַן מָר הָנֵי מִילֵּי דִּתְמִיהָא לַן: מַאי טַעְמָא כִּי יָהֵיבְנָא לְמָר שְׁלָמָא לָא אַסְבַּר לַן מָר אַפֵּיהּ? אֲמַר לְהוּ: שְׂכִיר יוֹם הֲוַאי, וְאָמֵינָא: לָא אֶיפַּגַּר. וּמַאי טַעְמָא דְּרָא מָר צִיבֵי אַחַד כַּתְפֵּיהּ וּגְלִימָא אַחַד כַּתְפֵּיהּ? אֲמַר לְהוּ: טַלִּית שְׁאוּלָה הָיְתָה. לְהָכִי שְׁאַלִי, וּלְהָכִי לָא שְׁאַלִי. מַאי טַעְמָא כּוּלַּהּ אוֹרְחָא לָא סָיֵים מָר מְסָאנֵיהּ וְכִי מָטֵי לְמַיָּא סָיֵים מְסָאנֵיהּ? אֲמַר לְהוּ: כּוּלַּהּ אוֹרְחָא חָזֵינָא, בְּמַיָּא לָא קָא חָזֵינָא. מַאי טַעְמָא כִּי מְטָא מָר לְהִיזְמֵי וְהִיגֵי דַּלִּינְהוּ לְמָנֵיהּ? אֲמַר לְהוּ: זֶה מַעֲלֶה אֲרוּכָה, וְזֶה אֵינוֹ מַעֲלֶה אֲרוּכָה. מַאי טַעְמָא כִּי מְטָא מָר לְמָתָא נָפְקָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ דְּמָר כִּי מִיקַּשְּׁטָא? אֲמַר לְהוּ: כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא אֶתֵּן עֵינַי בְּאִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת. מַאי טַעְמָא עָיְילָא הִיא בְּרֵישָׁא, וַהֲדַר עָיֵיל מָר אַבָּתְרַהּ, וַהֲדַר עָיְילִינַן אֲנַן? אֲמַר לְהוּ מִשּׁוּם דְּלָא בְּדִיקִיתוּ לִי. מַאי טַעְמָא כִּי כָּרֵיךְ מָר רִיפְתָּא לָא אֲמַר לַן ״אֵיתוֹ כְּרוּכוּ״? מִשּׁוּם דְּלָא נְפִישָׁא רִיפְתָּא, וְאָמֵינָא: לָא אַחְזֵיק בְּהוּ בְּרַבָּנַן טֵיבוּתָא בְּחִנָּם. מַאי טַעְמָא יְהֵיב מָר לְיָנוֹקָא קַשִּׁישָׁא חֲדָא רִיפְתָּא וּלְזוּטְרָא תְּרֵי? אֲמַר לְהוּ: הַאי — קָאֵי בְּבֵיתָא, וְהַאי — יָתֵיב בְּבֵי כְנִישְׁתָּא. וּמַאי טַעְמָא קְדֻים סְלוּק עֲנָנֵי מֵהָךְ זָוִיתָא דַּהֲווֹת קָיְימָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ דְּמָר לַעֲנָנָא דִידֵיהּ? מִשּׁוּם דְּאִיתְּתָא שְׁכִיחָא בְּבֵיתָא, וְיָהֲבָא רִיפְתָּא לַעֲנִיֵּי, וּמְקָרְבָא הֲנָיָיתַהּ. וַאֲנָא יָהֵיבְנָא זוּזָא, וְלָא מְקָרְבָא הֲנָיָיתֵיהּ. אִי נָמֵי: הָנְהוּ בִּירְיוֹנֵי דְּהָווּ בְּשִׁיבָבוּתַן, אֲנָא בָּעֵי רַחֲמֵי דְּלֵימוּתוּ, וְהִיא בָּעֲיָא רַחֲמֵי דְּלִיהְדְּרוּ בִּתְיוּבְתָּא [וַהֲדַרוּ].
Abba Ḥilkiyya was Honi the Circle Drawer's grandson. When the world needed rain, the Sages would visit him to ask him to pray, and then rain would come. One time, the world needed rain, so the Sages sent a pair of Rabbis to meet him and ask him to pray. They went to his home but he was not there, so they went to the fields and found him hoeing the ground. They greeted him but he did not answer. At the end of the day as he gatherered wood, he placed the wood and the hoe on one of his shoulders and his cloak on the other. The whole way home he went barefoot, but put on his shoes to cross the river. When he came to a thorny area, he lifted up his clothes. When he reached the city, his wife came out in all her jewelry to greet him, and when he reached his home his wife went in first and he followed. He sat and ate bread but did not invite the Rabbis to share it. He divided the bread between his two children, giving one piece to the older and two to the younger.
Then he said to his wife: "I know these Rabbis have come because of rain: let us go up to the roof and pray, because perhaps the Holy One will show favor and rain will come (though not because of our merit)." They went up to the roof; Abba Hilkiyya stood in one corner, his wife in another. Immediately clouds formed in the corner his wife was in.
And when they all came down, he said to his visitors, "Rabbis, why did you come?" They replied, "Our colleagues sent us to you to ask you to pray for rain." He responded, "Praise be to God, who gave you no need of me!"
They asked him, "Sir: we know the rain is coming because of you - but may we ask you to explain some things to us? Why did you not return our greeting? He replied, "I am a day laborer and said to myself that I must not delay my work." "And sir: why did you carry firewood on one shoulder and your cloak on the other?" He replied, "I borrowed that cloak - to wear, not to put wood on!" "And why did you go barefoot the whole way home except for the water?" He replied, "I can see the entire way: but not in the water." "And why did you lift your clothes in the thorny area?" He replied, "Torn flesh will heal but torn garments need mending!" "And why, sir, did your wife come out in her jewelry?" He replied, "So that I will not set my eyes upon any other woman." "And why did she enter the house before you, and then us after that?" He replied, "Because I do not yet know you well enough." "And why did you not invite us to eat?" He replied, "Because there is not enough bread, and I do you no favors by offering you something I cannot give." "And why did you give different portions to your children?" He replied, "The older stays at home and can eat at any time, but the younger studies in the synagogue." "And why did clouds form in the corner your wife was in?" He replied, "Because she is often at home giving bread to the poor, so she satisfies those in need immediately - whereas I give money to the poor, which does not immediately feed them. And also - because we had ruffians in our neighborhood, and I prayed they should die - but she prayed, instead, that they repent - and indeed they did.
המקום שבו אנו צודקים
יהודה עמיחי
מן המקום שבו אנו צודקים,
לא יצמחו לעולם
פרחים באביב.
המקום שבו אנו צודקים
הוא רמוס וקשה
כמו חצר.
אבל ספקות ואהבות עושים
את העולם לתחוח
כמו חפרפרת, כמו חריש.
ולחישה תישמע במקום
שבו היה הבית
אשר נחרב
The Place Where We Are Right
by Yehuda Amichai
From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring.
The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.
But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, a plow.
And a whisper will be heard
in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.
Questions to Consider
a. What is the turning point in the Taanit narrative?
b. Why didn't the Rabbis just leave once they got what they came for (the rain)? Have you ever behaved like them... just stuck around to ask about the puzzling behavior, rather than fleeing the strange or uncomfortable environment?
c. Consider Abba Hilkiya's unnamed wife. First, she seems to share his superpower, as she is the one ultimately able to usher in the rain, a fact we only learn of incindentally. Second, Abba Hilkiya attributes to her a story that is also attributed to Bruriah (Brakhot 10a)-- the husband prayed for the zealots to die, and the wife prayed for them to change. Either the same thing happened twice, or these women are hyper-linked in the Rabbinic imagination. What do you make of Abba Hilkiya's wife's character? What are we to learn from this mysterious character?
d. How does Yehudah Amichai's poem contribute to your understanding of this text?
רְאֵ֗ה אָנֹכִ֛י נֹתֵ֥ן לִפְנֵיכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם בְּרָכָ֖ה וּקְלָלָֽה׃ אֶֽת־הַבְּרָכָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּשְׁמְע֗וּ אֶל־מִצְוֺת֙ ה' אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּֽוֹם׃ וְהַקְּלָלָ֗ה אִם־לֹ֤א תִשְׁמְעוּ֙ אֶל־מִצְוֺת֙ ה' אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם וְסַרְתֶּ֣ם מִן־הַדֶּ֔רֶךְ אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם לָלֶ֗כֶת אַחֲרֵ֛י אֱלֹהִ֥ים אֲחֵרִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־יְדַעְתֶּֽם׃
See, this day I set before you blessing and curse: blessing, if you obey the commandments of Adonai your God that I enjoin upon you this day; and curse, if you do not obey the commandments of Adonai your God, but turn away from the path that I enjoin upon you this day and follow other gods, whom you have not experienced.
(א) ראה. הביטה וראה שלא יהיה ענינך על אופן בינוני כמו שהוא המנהג בשאר האומות. כי אמנם אנכי נותן לפניכם היום ברכה וקללה והם שני הקצוות... ושניהם לפניכם להשיג כפי מה שתבחרו:
See: pay good attention so that you will not be like the nations of the world who relate to everything half-heartedly, always trying to find middle ground. Remember, I set before you blessing and curse: I present you this day with the choice of two extremes, opposites...You have the choice of both before you; all you have to do is make a choice.
Questions To Consider
a. Think of the Abba Hilkiya story in light of these next two texts (Deuteronomy and Sforno's interpretation). How do they relate?
b. What does the Deuteronomy text add to your understanding of the imperative to stay at the table and hold curiosity? What are the limits to that curious posture?
(ד) מַהוּ הַמִּנְהָג שֶׁיִּנְהֹג הַמְנֻדֶּה בְּעַצְמוֹ וְשֶׁנּוֹהֲגִין עִמּוֹ. מְנֻדֶּה אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר וּלְכַבֵּס כְּאָבֵל כָּל יְמֵי נִדּוּיוֹ. וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו. וְלֹא כּוֹלְלִין אוֹתוֹ בַּעֲשָׂרָה לְכָל דָּבָר שֶׁצָּרִיךְ עֲשָׂרָה. וְלֹא יוֹשְׁבִין עִמּוֹ בְּאַרְבַּע אַמּוֹת. אֲבָל שׁוֹנֶה הוּא לַאֲחֵרִים וְשׁוֹנִין לוֹ וְנִשְׂכָּר וְשׂוֹכֵר. וְאִם מֵת בְּנִדּוּי בֵּית דִּין שׁוֹלְחִין וּמַנִּיחִין אֶבֶן עַל אֲרוֹנוֹ כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁהֵן רוֹגְמִין אוֹתוֹ לְפִי שֶׁהוּא מֻבְדָּל מִן הַצִּבּוּר. וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר שֶׁאֵין מַסְפִּידִין אוֹתוֹ וְאֵין מְלַוִּין אֶת מִטָּתוֹ:
(4) What regulations should one under sentence of separation [menudeh] follow himself, and how should others act toward him? One under sentence of separation is forbidden to shave and wash, as one in mourning, all the days of his separation. He must not be counted in among three to bless God after meals, or among ten in any religious service which requires ten adults, and no one is permitted to sit within four amot (about six feet) of him. Even still, under limited circumstances, he may give instruction to others and others may instruct him, and others may hire him and he may hire others. If his demise occurs while under sentence of separation, the tribunal has a stone sent which is deposited upon his coffin, as if saying that he is being stoned because he had to be separated from the community. Needless to say, no mourning is permitted after him, and his hearse is not followed.
(ב) כָּל הַנִּכְנָסִין לְהַר הַבַּיִת נִכְנָסִין דֶּרֶךְ יָמִין וּמַקִּיפִין וְיוֹצְאִין דֶּרֶךְ שְׂמֹאל, חוּץ מִמִּי שֶׁאֵרְעוֹ דָבָר, שֶׁהוּא מַקִּיף לִשְׂמֹאל.
מַה לך מַקִּיף לִשְׂמֹאל,
שֶׁאֲנִי אָבֵל, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יְנַחֲמֶךָּ.
שֶׁאֲנִי מְנֻדֶּה, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יִתֵּן בְּלִבָּם וִיקָרְבוּךָ, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי מֵאִיר.
אָמַר לוֹ רַבִּי יוֹסֵי, עֲשִׂיתָן כְּאִלּוּ עָבְרוּ עָלָיו אֶת הַדִּין. אֶלָּא, הַשּׁוֹכֵן בַּבַּיִת הַזֶּה יִתֵּן בְּלִבְּךָ וְתִשְׁמַע לְדִבְרֵי חֲבֵרֶיךָ וִיקָרְבוּךָ:
(2) All who entered the Temple Mount entered by the right, circled [to the right] and exited by the left, except for one to whom something had happened, who entered and circled to the left.
[That person was asked]: “What happened to you? Why do you circle to the left?”
“Because I am a mourner,” [they replied.]
[And they were blessed:] “May the One who dwells in this house comfort you.”
[If they replied] “Because I have been ostracized,” [they were blessed]: “May the One who dwells in this house inspire them [your community] to draw you near again,” according to Rabbi Meir.
But Rabbi Yose challenged him: you make it seem as if they [the community] treated him unjustly! Rather [they should bless him]: “May the One who dwells in this house inspire you to hear the words of your colleagues so that they may draw you near again.”
Questions To Consider
a. These texts refer to the menudeh, the person ostracized from and by the community because they caused harm, either in word or in deed. Given the restrictions on encounter with the ostracized, what strikes you now about Mishnah Middot 2:2?
b. How do you understand the difference between the approaches of R' Meir and R' Yose regarding the menudeh?
c. What is the danger of seeing and blessing the menudeh? What is the potential?
d. Would you share an experience in a community that dealt with an ostracized person well, or could have done better?
e. The teaching of the ostracized calls us to see even those who have hurt us, to stay in the conversation. When have you stayed at the table? What did it take for you to remain in that uncomfortable dynamic? What, if anything, did you learn?
Invitation To Practice: Breathe, and Stay at the Table (The Amen Effect p.189)
It's so hard not to walk away. As long as you can be safe, practice staying at the table. You may learn something, and the other person may, too.