Rosh Chodesh Av

ByJenna Zadaka

At The Well

Spiritual Energy of the Month: Listening

Av 5784: Nightfall Monday, August 5– nightfall Wednesday, September 4, 2024.

Pronunciation: Ahv

Wellness Area: Listening

Astrological Sign: Aryeh (Lion)

Hebrew Letter: ט Tet

Holidays: Tisha B’Av, the 9th of Av, a fast of mourning (sunset on Mon, Aug 12, 2024 – Tue, Aug 13, 2024)

Tu B’Av, the 15 of Av, a day of radiant love (nightfall on Sun, Aug 18, 2024 – Mon, Aug 19, 2024)

Get our full moon manual at https://www.atthewellproject.com/

Source 1: Tish B’Av Poem by Ester Eckhaus

Ester is a student of philosophy and literature who grew up in Brooklyn and currently resides in Jerusalem. Her poetry explores spiritual themes connected to Gd. If you don’t vibe with the word G-d, you can replace that word with “Divine”, “Oneness” or “Universe”.

Maybe
You are too tired

To think about God.

Never mind.
Sleep.
And your dream will be god-like.

Maybe
You are too heartbroken

To speak to God.

Never mind.
Cry.
And your tears will be a prayer.

Maybe
You are too lost

To conceive of God

Never mind
Go deep
And your being will become infinite

My Sadness Honors me

She is a reverent soldier

Bowing to the unbearable loss

That lays strewn
Inside me

I do not wish
To rid myself of her

For
To cover or repair her

Would be to shun
The funeral of a loved one

And dismiss the rain

Which would water my soul.

Partner Questions

What resonates with you about this poem?
How is brokenness and wholeness connected?

Choose one of the following to answer:

How do you tend to your heart in moments of hurt or sadness?
What does Jewish wisdom (or Jewish rituals) offer us on how to tend to our heart?

משנה תענית ד׳:ח׳

(ח) אָמַר רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל, לֹא הָיוּ יָמִים טוֹבִים לְיִשְׂרָאֵל כַּחֲמִשָּׁה עָשָׂר בְּאָב וּכְיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים, שֶׁבָּהֶן בְּנוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם יוֹצְאוֹת בִּכְלֵי לָבָן שְׁאוּלִין, שֶׁלֹּא לְבַיֵּשׁ אֶת מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ. כָּל הַכֵּלִים טְעוּנִין טְבִילָה. וּבְנוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם יוֹצְאוֹת וְחוֹלוֹת בַּכְּרָמִים. וּמֶה הָיוּ אוֹמְרוֹת, בָּחוּר, שָׂא נָא עֵינֶיךָ וּרְאֵה, מָה אַתָּה בוֹרֵר לָךְ. אַל תִּתֵּן עֵינֶיךָ בַנּוֹי, תֵּן עֵינֶיךָ בַמִּשְׁפָּחָה. שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי, אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת ה' הִיא תִתְהַלָּל (משלי לא). וְאוֹמֵר, תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ, וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר, צְאֶינָה וּרְאֶינָה בְּנוֹת צִיּוֹן בַּמֶּלֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹה בָּעֲטָרָה שֶׁעִטְּרָה לּוֹ אִמּוֹ בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ וּבְיוֹם שִׂמְחַת לִבּוֹ (שיר השירים ג). בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ, זֶה מַתַּן תּוֹרָה. וּבְיוֹם שִׂמְחַת לִבּוֹ, זֶה בִּנְיַן בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, שֶׁיִּבָּנֶה בִמְהֵרָה בְיָמֵינוּ. אָמֵן:

Mishnah Ta'anit 4:8

(8) Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as joyous for the Jewish people as the fifteenth of Av and as Yom Kippur, as on them the daughters of Jerusalem would go out in white clothes, which each woman borrowed from another. Why were they borrowed? They did this so as not to embarrass one who did not have her own white garments. All the garments that the women borrowed require immersion, as those who previously wore them might have been ritually impure. And the daughters of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards. And what would they say? Young man, please lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself for a wife. Do not set your eyes toward beauty, but set your eyes toward a good family, as the verse states: “Grace is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30), and it further says: “Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:31). And similarly, it says in another verse: “Go forth, daughters of Zion, and gaze upon King Solomon, upon the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, and on the day of the gladness of his heart” (Song of Songs 3:11). This verse is explained as an allusion to special days: “On the day of his wedding”; this is the giving of the Torah through the second set of tablets on Yom Kippur. The name King Solomon in this context, which also means king of peace, is interpreted as a reference to God. “And on the day of the gladness of his heart”; this is the building of the Temple, may it be rebuilt speedily in our days.

תענית כ״ט א:י״ח

מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אָב מְמַעֲטִין בְּשִׂמְחָה וְכוּ׳. אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַב שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר שִׁילַת מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַב: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אָב מְמַעֲטִין בְּשִׂמְחָה — כָּךְ מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אֲדָר מַרְבִּין בְּשִׂמְחָה.

Taanit 29a:18

§ The mishna teaches that from when the month of Av begins, one decreases acts of rejoicing. Rav Yehuda, son of Rav Shmuel bar Sheilat, said in the name of Rav: Just as when Av begins one decreases rejoicing, so too when the month of Adar begins, one increases rejoicing.

שיר השירים ה׳:א׳-ב׳

(א) בָּ֣אתִי לְגַנִּי֮ אֲחֹתִ֣י כַלָּה֒ אָרִ֤יתִי מוֹרִי֙ עִם־בְּשָׂמִ֔י אָכַ֤לְתִּי יַעְרִי֙ עִם־דִּבְשִׁ֔י שָׁתִ֥יתִי יֵינִ֖י עִם־חֲלָבִ֑י אִכְל֣וּ רֵעִ֔ים שְׁת֥וּ וְשִׁכְר֖וּ דּוֹדִֽים׃ {ס} (ב) אֲנִ֥י יְשֵׁנָ֖ה וְלִבִּ֣י עֵ֑ר ק֣וֹל ׀ דּוֹדִ֣י דוֹפֵ֗ק פִּתְחִי־לִ֞י אֲחֹתִ֤י רַעְיָתִי֙ יוֹנָתִ֣י תַמָּתִ֔י שֶׁרֹּאשִׁי֙ נִמְלָא־טָ֔ל קְוֻצּוֹתַ֖י רְסִ֥יסֵי לָֽיְלָה׃

Song of Songs 5:1-2

(1) I have come to my garden,
My own, my bride;
I have plucked my myrrh and spice,
Eaten my honey and honeycomb,
Drunk my wine and my milk.

Eat, lovers, and drink:
Drink deep of love!
(2) aIn vv. 2–8 the maiden relates a dream.I was asleep,
But my heart was wakeful.
Hark, my beloved knocks!
“Let me in, my own,
My darling, my faultless dove!
For my head is drenched with dew,
My locks with the damp of night.”

“Beginning with listening and ending with oneness, the Shema invites us to deepen our capacity to listen — to ourselves, to the Divine, and to those around us, to develop an I-thou relationship with the rest of humanity.” - Rabbi Adina Allen

Source Collective Compassion

Dr. Erica Brown is a Jewish Educator of Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, DC. This is an excerpt from her book about the 3 weeks of mourning called, “In The Narrow Places”

“Suffering humanizes us. Ignoring suffering dehumanizes us. I don’t want to ruin my good mood by looking at that homeless person, so I turn away – and with that turning, I let go of my social responsibility to him. Attunement to suffering makes us more compassionate. It also helps us appreciate where we come from and all that it took to get us where we are. We have to remind ourselves that we don’t diminish our happiness when we spend a day or a few weeks meditating on the tragedies of history from which we emerged. We become more grateful, holding on tightly to our blessed lives because we can…”

Discussion Questions:

Does anything strike you about this text?
How do you personally navigate the balance between acknowledging suffering and maintaining a positive outlook or good mood?
How can we make room to feel, while resourcing ourselves to both comfort and be comforted?
This time in the calendar invites us into the grief and suffering of all beings, it is a call for empathy. Where do you see brokenness? What struggles in society are you particularly pained by?
Can you share an experience where attuning to suffering increased your sense of compassion and gratitude? How did it impact your perspective and actions?