Twilight People
Rabbi Reuben Zellman
As the sun sinks and the colors of the day turn, we offer a blessing for the twilight, for twilight is neither day nor night, but in-between. We are all twilight people. We can never be fully labeled or defined. We are many identities and loves, many genders and none. We are in between roles, at the intersection of histories, or between place and place. We are crisscrossed paths of memory and destination, streaks of light and swirled together. We are neither day nor night. We are both, neither, and all.
May the sacred in-between of this evening suspend our certainties, soften our judgments, and widen our vision. May this in-between light illuminate our way to the God who transcends all categories and definitions. May the in-between people who have come to pray be lifted up into this twilight. We cannot always define; we can always say a blessing. Blessed are You, God of all, who brings on the twilight.
Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.149 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
The crossing
Dan Bellm
God did not lead us by the nearer way
when Pharaoh let the people go at last,
but roundabout, by way of the wilderness --
pillars of fire and cloud marking night and day --
to the edge of the flood-tide -- uncrossable and vast.
If God had led us by the nearer way,
we cried, we wouldn’t die here; let Egypt oppress
us as it will; let us return to the past.
But we have come out, by way of the wilderness,
in fear; on faith; free now, because we say
we are free; no longer the unchosen, the outcast.
God did not lead us by the nearer way,
but into rising waters, which do not part unless,
with an outstretched arm, we step forward, and stand fast.
Roundabout, by way of the wilderness
we have come, blessed with love, lesbian, gay
or sanctified in ways of our own, to bless
our God, who did not lead us by the nearer way,
but roundabout, by way of the wilderness.
Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.165 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
B'tzelem Elohim
בָּרוּךְ אַ תָ ה יהוה אֱלֹהֵֽ ינוּ
מֵֽ לֶךְ הָעוֹלָם. שֶׁ עָשֵַֽׂ נִיֶ
בְּ צֵֶֽ לֶם אֱלֹהִ ים:
Praise to You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has made me in the image of God
O God, remember today our LGBTQ siblings who were martyred in years past: those murdered by fanatics in the Middle Ages, those who perished in the Holocaust, and those struck down in our own city, in our own time. Remember also those who took their own lives, driven by despair by a world that hated them because of their love or gender. And in mercy remember those who lived lives of loneliness, repressing their true natures and refraining from sharing their love with one another. O God, remember the sacrifice of these martyrs, and help us bring an end to hate and oppression of every kind.
Based on Communal Prayer of Remembrance (to be offered before Mourner's Kaddish), Siddur Sha'ar Zahav
Love Wins: A Pride Prayer, Jewish
One day, the words ‘coming out’ will sound strange,
Oppression based on gender or orientation will be a memory,
History to honor and remember,
The pain of hiding, repressing, denying,
Honoring the triumphs of those who fought to be free,
Remembering the violence and vitriol that cost lives.
When love wins,
When love wins at long last,
ואהבת לרעך כמוך,
‘Love your neighbor as yourself’
Will be as natural as breathing.
ואהבת לרעך כמוך!
One day, love will win every heart,
Love will win every soul,
Fear will vanish like smoke,
And tenderness for all will fill our hearts.
ואהבת לרעך כמוך!
Love wins. In the end,
Love wins.
Man for man,
Woman for woman,
Woman for man,
Man for women,
All genders,
All orientations,
All true expressions of heart.
ואהבת לרעך כמוך!
Let this come speedily,
In our day,
A tribute to the many
And the diverse
Gifts from heaven.
A tribute to love deep and true,
Each of us for one another.
ואהבת לרעך כמוך!
© 2016 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.
California
Rafael Campo
1964 –
I used to dream of living here. I hike
a trail I know that at the end opens
to glorious views of the city I did
live in once, when men my age kept dying
while I learned how to diagnose AIDS.
Some dreams don’t come true, and some dreams become
nightmares. Across a field that smells of sage,
a few horses loiter. I want to think
that they forgive me, since they’re noble creatures.
They stamp and snort, reminding me they know
nothing of forgiveness. I used to dream
that someday I’d escape to San Francisco,
when I was still in high school and I knew.
Tall and muscled, the horses are like the jocks
on the football team who beat me once, as if pain
teaches truth and they knew I had to learn.
I used to dream I was as white as them,
that I could slam my locker closed and not
think of jail. Some nightmares come true,
like when my uncle got arrested for
cocaine. My family never talked about it,
which made me realize they could also feel shame.
That’s when I started dreaming I could be
a doctor someday, that I could get away,
prescribe myself a new life. Right now, as
the city comes into view, I think of those
animals and hope they got what they deserved.
The city stretches out its arms, its two bridges
to Oakland, to Stockton, to San Rafael,
to Vallejo; places I could have been from
but wasn’t. It looks just as it did
all those years ago. Yet I know it’s changed
because so many of us died, like Rico,
who took me up here for the first time.
We kicked a soccer ball around and smoked
a joint. I think we talked about our dreams,
but who can remember dreams. I look out
and the sun like your hand on my face
is warm, and for a moment I think this is
glorious, this is what forgiveness feels like.
Copyright © 2020 by Rafael Campo. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on October 5, 2020, by the Academy of American Poets.
Pronouns
Meg Adler
It’s not that I don’t care.
It’s that pick any one,
peek behind it and
you won’t find me
there. Slippery by
nature like Aaron’s oil.
Anoint me, drip dripping
in the task to say
what I mean.
For LGBTQIQ People
Andrew Ramer
Our people came out of Egypt a mixed multitude, the spray of dividing waters sparkling diamonds all around them.
We stood together at Sinai, all of us—future, present, past—amid the rumble of thunder and the crack of bright lightning to enter into covenant with the One who loves us, in whose shining image we are all created, over and over again.
We have wandered bleak landscapes, built flimsy tents of skin and then houses of stone. We have planted orchards and vineyards, seen two Temples rise and then go down in the surging flames, forcing us into exile. We have loved and lost, grieved and danced, transgressed and celebrated. Hidden, suffered, thrived.
And we gather here this day, in the community of our people, a mixed multitude, and we sign out: Hear O Israel, we stand together, all of us, descendants of the single first human created on the sixth day, and of our myriad parents down through the generations, too numerous to name. We stand together, link arms, and pray.
Blessed are You, God of the universe, who sanctifies us with the commandment to love ourselves and one another –in all our varied ways—and blesses us with a diamond-bright radiance that still ripples out from Your first spoken words of creation.
For Queer Elders
Blessed are the elders who parted the seas of ignorance and prejudice
Sacrificed sanity and security on the rock of steadfastness
Conquered demons of hatred and false idols of bigotry
Followed their hearts to a promised land beyond a dim horizon.
Blessed are the elders with namesakes or without
Whose energy and courage created a legacy of hope
Making space for the children of today
And sweet justice for children yet unborn.
Marjorie Hilsenrad, Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.21 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
On Holiness
We are your gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender children:
You must not seek vengeance, nor bear a grudge against the children of your people. (Leviticus 19:18)
We are your bi, trans, lesbian, and gay parents:
Revere your mother and father, each one of you (Lev.19:3)
We are elderly lesbians, bisexuals, gay men and transgender people:You shall rise before the aged and show deference to the old (Lev.19:32)
We are the stranger:
You must not oppress the stranger. You shall love the stranger as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt (Lev.19:34)
We are lesbian, gay trans and bi Jews:
You must not hate your brother or sister in your heart (Lev.19:17)
We are lesbian, gay, trans, and bi victims of gay-bashing and murder:
You may not stand idly when your neighbor’s blood is being shed (Lev.19:16)
We are your bi, gay, trans, and lesbian neighbors:
You must not oppress your neighbor (Lev.19:13)
You must judge your neighbor justly (Lev.19:15)
You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself (Lev.19:18)
Rabbi Lisa Edwards, from Siddur Sha’ar Zahav, p.19 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
I Am Unique
My God, I thank You for my life, my soul and my body; for my name, for my sexual and affectional nature, for my way of thinking and talking. Help me realize that in my qualities I am unique in the world; for were this not so, I would not have needed to exist. Help me make perfect my own ways of loving and caring, that by becoming perfect in my own way, I can honor Your Name, and help bring about the coming of the Messianic age.
Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.83 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
Queer Mi Shebeirach
In community with our queer ancestors
Most of whose names are lost to us,
Forgotten
Or even deliberately obliterated,
May we be blessed and healed
In free and open ways
Not always granted
To those
Who went before us.
May we come to know a time of complete healing
And may we share this healing with all the world
In teh name of all who have been forgotten
As a blessing for all queer folk who are here
And for all those who are yet to come.
Now let us say: Amen.
Maggid Eli Andrew Ramer, Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.469 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
Queer Aleinu
Let us praise the Ruler of the universe and adore the Creator of the world, who did not make us like other nations, who created us different from other people, and set us on a separate path toward a special destiny. Sometimes we may feel excluded because we are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer-identified or straight, Jewish or non-Jewish, female or male, old or young, or disabled; we conceal the unique attributes with which we are created in God's image. May God strengthen our inner resolve to honor and fulfill our unique purpose, to live out God's wonderful and unknowable design, in which each one of us is a vital paricipant. Therefore, we bow in reverence before the supreme Ruler, the Holy One, who is to be blessed.
Communal Prayer of Remembrance (often said before Kaddish)
O God, remember today those members of our family who were martyred in years past because of their sexual or gender identity: those murdered by fanatics in the Middle Ages, those who perisehd in the Holocaust, and those struck down in our own cities, in our own time. Remember also those who took their own lives, driven to despair by a world that hated them. And in mercy remember those who lived lives of loneliness, repressing their true nature and refraining from sharing their love with one another. O God, watch over the souls of these beloved ones: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and help us bring an end to hate and oppression of every kind.
Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.491, https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
For Transgender Day of Remembrance (but also perfect for Pride Shabbat before Kaddish)
God full of mercy, bless the souls of all who are in our hearts on this Transgender Day of Remembrance. We call to mind today young and old, of every race, faith, and gender experience, who have died by violence. We remember those who have died because they would not hide, or did not pass, or did pass, or stood too proud. Today we name them: the reluctant activist; the fiery hurler of heels; the warrior for quiet truth; the one whom no one really knew.
As many as we can name, there are thousands more whom we cannot, and for whom no Kaddish may have been said. We mourn their senseless deaths, and give thanks for their lives, for their teaching, and for the brief glow of each holy flame. We pray for the strength to carry on their legacy of vision, bravery, and love.
And as we remember them, we remember with them the thousands more who have taken their own lives. We pray for resolve to root out the injustice, ignorance, and cruelty that grow despair. And we pray, God, that all those who perpetrate hate and violence will speedily come to understand that Your creation has many faces, many genders, many holy expressions.
Blessed are they who have allowed their divine image to shine in the world. Blessed is God, in Whom no light is extinguished.
Amen
Rabbi Reuben Zellman, Siddur Sha'ar Zahav, p.442 https://shaarzahav.org/our-siddur/
Mi Shebeirach for Coming Out [for an individual, or to be used as a collective prayer]
May the One who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and David; Sarah, Rebekah, Leah Rachel, and Ruth, bless _____ ben/bat/mibeit ______,
who has come forward bravely to proclaim [her/his/their] [gay/lesbian/bi/queer/transgender] identity to this community. May [he/she/they] grow in self-understanding and rejoice in their newly claimed identity. May their courage be a model for others who yearn to reveal hidden parts of themselves. May they receive love, warmth, and support from their community, family, and friends. May their public act inspire us to deepen our commitment to work for a time when gay men, lesbians, bi, queer, and transgender people will no longer suffer from hatred and prejudice and when all will live in harmony and peace.
V'nomar Amein.
And let us say, Amen.
Rabbi Rebecca Alpert, 1997. Mishkan Ga'avah: Where Pride Dwells, A Celebration of LGBTQ Jewish Life and Ritual, p.92
About Pronouns (from the Reform Movement)
"...In the 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health by the Trevor Project, “nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide."
ON ORDINATION (Reform Movement)
"LGBTQ+ rabbis and cantors are ordained in the Reform Movement and are accepted as students at Reform seminaries. The history of inclusion dates to 1990, when the Central Conference of American Rabbis endorsed a report on “Homosexuality and the Rabbinate,” that included the authors’ urging that, “all rabbis, regardless of sexual orientation, be accorded the opportunity to fulfill the sacred vocation that they have chosen.” Women have been ordained in the Reform Movement since 1972, and resolutions calling for their ordination date to 1922."
Milestones in the American Gay Rights Movement
December 10, 1924 The Society for Human Rights is founded by Henry Gerber in Chicago. The society is the first gay rights organization as well as the oldest documented in America.
1948 Biologist and sex researcher Alfred Kinsey publishes Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.
November 11, 1950 In Los Angeles, gay rights activist Harry Hay founds America’s first sustained national gay rights organization.
December 15, 1950 A Senate report titled "Employment of Homosexuals and Other Sex Perverts in Government" is distributed to members of Congress after the federal government had covertly investigated employees' sexual orientation at the beginning of the Cold War. The report states since homosexuality is a mental illness, homosexuals "constitute security risks" to the nation because "those who engage in overt acts of perversion lack the emotional stability of normal persons."
April, 1952 The American Psychiatric Association lists homosexuality as a sociopathic personality disturbance in its first publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
April 27, 1953 President Dwight Eisenhower signs Executive Order 10450, banning homosexuals from working for the federal government or any of its private contractors
September 21, 1955 In San Francisco, the Daughters of Bilitis becomes the first lesbian rights organization in the United States.
August 30, 1956 American psychologist Evelyn Hooker shares her paper "The Adjustment of the Male Overt Homosexual" at the American Psychological Association Convention in Chicago. Hooker's experiment becomes very influential, changing clinical perceptions of homosexuality.
January 13, 1958 In the landmark case One, Inc. v. Olesen, the United States Supreme Court rules in favor of the First Amendment rights of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) magazine "One: The Homosexual Magazine."
January 1, 1962 Illinois repeals its sodomy laws, becoming the first U.S. state to decriminalize homosexuality.
July 4, 1965 At Independence Hall in Philadelphia, picketers begin staging the first Reminder Day to call public attention to the lack of civil rights for LGBT people. The gatherings will continue annually for five years.
April 21, 1966 Members of the Mattachine Society stage a "sip-in" at the Julius Bar in Greenwich Village, where the New York Liquor Authority prohibits serving gay patrons in bars on the basis that homosexuals are "disorderly."
August, 1966 After transgender customers become raucous in a 24-hour San Francisco cafeteria, management calls police.
June 28, 1969 Patrons of the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village riot when police officers attempt to raid the popular gay bar around 1am. Since its establishment in 1967, the bar had been frequently raided by police officers trying to clean up the neighborhood of "sexual deviants."...the event will be credited with reigniting the fire behind America's modern LGBT rights movement.
June 28, 1970 Christopher St. Liberation Day commemorates the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Following the event, thousands of members of the LGBT community march through New York into Central Park, in what will be considered America's first gay pride parade.
December 15, 1973 The board of the American Psychiatric Association votes to remove homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses.
January, 1974 Kathy Kozachenko becomes the first openly gay American elected to public office when she wins a seat on the Ann Arbor, Michigan City Council.
June 7, 1977 Singer and conservative Southern Baptist Anita Bryant leads a successful campaign with the "Save Our Children" Crusade to repeal a gay rights ordinance in Dade County, Florida. Bryant faces severe backlash from gay rights supporters across the U.S. The gay rights ordinance will not be reinstated in Dade County until December 1, 1998, more than 20 years later.
November 8, 1977 Harvey Milk wins a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors and is responsible for introducing a gay rights ordinance protecting gays and lesbians from being fired from their jobs...A year later, on November 27, 1978, former city supervisor Dan White assassinates Milk. White's actions are motivated by jealousy and depression, rather than homophobia.
October 14, 1979 An estimated 75,000 people participate in the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.
July 8, 1980 The Democratic Rules Committee states that it will not discriminate against homosexuals.
July 3, 1981 The New York Times prints the first story of a rare pneumonia and skin cancer found in 41 gay men in New York and California. The CDC initially refers to the disease as GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency Disorder.
March 2, 1982 Wisconsin becomes the first U.S. state to outlaw discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
March 10, 1987 AIDS advocacy group ACT UP (The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) is formed in response to the devastating affects the disease has had on the gay and lesbian community in New York.
October 11, 1987 Hundreds of thousands of activists take part in the National March on Washington to demand that President Ronald Reagan address the AIDS crisis.
May - June, 1988 The CDC mails a brochure, Understanding AIDS, to every household in the U.S. Approximately 107 million brochures are mailed.
December 1, 1988 The World Health Organization organizes the first World AIDS Day to raise awareness of the spreading pandemic.
August 18, 1990 President george Bush signs the Ryan White Care Act, a federally funded program for people living with AIDS. Ryan White, an Indiana teenager, contracted AIDS in 1984 through a tainted hemophilia treatment.
December 21, 1993 The Department of Defense issues a directive prohibiting the U.S. Military from barring applicants from service based on their sexual orientation.
September 21, 1996 President Clinton signs the Defense of Marriage Act into law. The law defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman and that no state is required to recognize a same-sex marriage from out of state.
April 1, 1998 Coretta Scott King, widow of civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., calls on the civil rights community to join the struggle against homophobia.
April 26, 2000 Vermont becomes the first state in the U.S. to legalize civil unions and registered partnerships between same-sex couples.
June 26, 2003 In Lawrence v. Texas the U.S. Supreme Court rules that sodomy laws in the U.S. are unconstitutional.
May 18, 2004 Massachusetts becomes the first state to legalize gay marriage.
November 4, 2008 California voters approve Proposition 8, making same-sex marriage in California illegal.
June 17, 2009 President Obama signs a Presidential Memorandum allowing same-sex partners of federal employees to receive certain benefits. The memorandum does not cover full health coverage.
October 28, 2009 The Matthew Shepard Act is passed by Congress and signed into law by President Obama on October 28th. The measure expands the 1969 U.S. Federal Hate Crime Law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.Matthew Shepard was tortured and murdered near Laramie, Wyoming on October 7, 1998 because of his sexual orientation.
August 4, 2010 A federal judge in San Francisco decides that gays and lesbians have the constitutional right to marry and that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.
December 18, 2010 The U.S. Senate votes 65-31 to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the U.S. Military.
February 23, 2011 President Obama states his administration will no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which bans the recognition of same-sex marriage.
June 24, 2011 New York State passes the Marriage Equity Act, becoming the largest state thus far to legalize gay marriage.
June 26, 2015 With a 5-4 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, the U.S. Supreme Court declares same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states.
From PBS