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יוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹעֶזֶר אִישׁ צְרֵדָה וְיוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹחָנָן אִישׁ יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יוֹסֵי בֶן יוֹעֶזֶר אִישׁ צְרֵדָה אוֹמֵר,
יְהִי בֵיתְךָ בֵית וַעַד לַחֲכָמִים,
וֶהֱוֵי מִתְאַבֵּק בַּעֲפַר רַגְלֵיהֶם,
וֶהֱוֵי שׁוֹתֶה בְצָמָא אֶת דִּבְרֵיהֶם:
Yossi ben Yoezer Ish Tzreidah [the Nassi] and Yossi ben Yochanan Ish Yerushalayim [the av beth-din] received it from them. [All the tannaim mentioned in this chapter by pairs — "This and this tanna received it from these and these" — the first is the Nassi and the second, the av beth-din.] Yossi ben Yoezer says Let your house be a house of gathering for the sages. [When the sages wish to convene somewhere, let your house be the designated place, that they be accustomed to say: Let us meet in this and this one's house. For it is impossible that you not learn of them (thereby) some article of wisdom. To what may this be compared? To one's entering a spice shop. Even if he takes nothing, he absorbs the aroma and it leaves with him], and be dusted by the dust of their feet. [That is, follow them. For a walker raises dust with his feet, and one who walks after him is dusted by this dust. Alternately, sit at their feet on the ground. For that was the practice. The teacher would sit on a bench and the disciples would sit at his feet on the ground], and drink their words with thirst, [as a thirsty man, who drinks to quench his thirst, and not as a sated man, who despises his food, even what is tasty and good.]
יְהִי בֵיתְךָ בֵית וַעַד לַחֲכָמִים. כְּשֶׁיִּרְצוּ הַחֲכָמִים לְהִתְקַבֵּץ וּלְהִוָּעֵד, יִהְיֶה בֵּיתְךָ מוּכָן לְדָבָר זֶה, שֶׁיִּהְיוּ רְגִילִים לוֹמַר נִתְקַבֵּץ בַּבַּיִת שֶׁל פְּלוֹנִי. שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁלֹּא תִּלְמֹד מֵהֶם אֵיזֶה דְּבַר חָכְמָה. מָשְׁלוּ מָשָׁל לְמַה הַדָּבָר דּוֹמֶה, לְנִכְנָס לַחֲנוּתוֹ שֶׁל בַּשָּׂם, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא לָקַח כְּלוּם, מִכָּל מָקוֹם רֵיחַ טוֹב קָלַט וְהוֹצִיא עִמּוֹ:
"May your house be a meeting place for the sages": When the sages wish to gather together or to meet, let your house be ready for this purpose, so that they will become accustomed to saying "Let us gather at so and so’s house." For it is not possible that you will not learn some bit of wisdom from them. They stated allegorically," To what can this be compared? To one who entered a perfumer’s shop; though he did not purchase anything, in any case he soaked up a good scent and brought it out with him. "

יוסי בן יועזר אומר יהי ביתך בית ועד לחכמים. ר"ל בית שיתקבצו לשם החכמים כאשר יצטרכו לדבר זה עם זה. ואין זה אלא בבית אדם גדול וחשוב. שאם בבית אדם פחות כאשר יאמרו לחכם ללכת שמה שמא לא ירצה כי הוא נבזה בעיניו נמאס ואת יראי ה' לא יכבד:

Yose ben Yoezer says, "May your house be a meeting house for Sages": It means to say, a house that the sages will gather there when they need to speak, one with the other. And this can only be in the house of a great and important man. As were it in the house of a lesser man, when they would say to the sage to go there, perhaps he would not want, since [for] him, 'a base one is disgraceful in his eyes; and he does not honor those that fear the Lord.'
לחכמים ... תשתדל שידורו ת"ח אצלך בביתך, דממעשיהם תלמוד יותר מלימודיהם, דמה"ט גדולה שמושה של תורה יותר מלימודה [כברכות ד"ז ב']:
​​​​​​​ואפשר עוד ... וז"ש והוי מתאבק וכו' כלומר תדע להתעצם במחלוקת עמהם. וזה על דרך מה שכתב רש"י ז"ל גבי ויאבק איש עמו וז"ל. מנחם פי' ויתעפר לשון אבק שהיו מעלים עפר ברגליהם ע"י נענועם ע"כ.
וה"ר משה אלמושנינו ז"ל כתב יהי ביתך בית ועד לחכמים ר"ל שרוב קביעותו יהיה בבית המדרש אשר הוא בית ועד לחכמים, וכאלו אמר שיהיה ביתו ומקומו הקבוע לו בבית הועד לחכמים, ובית המדרש (שהוא הבית ועד לחכמים) יהיה כמו ביתו ויתמיד לישב בו תמיד, כי בהתמדתו שם ילמד תורה הרבה כאמור:
הלמוד הד' – שתמיד ישמע אדם דברי תורה בערבות גדול וחפץ נמרץ כאדם השותה מים בצמא רבה. ... שנאמר (דברים כו, טז): "היום הזה יהוה' אלהיך מצוך לעשות את החוקים האלה" וגו' ודרשו חכמינו זכרונם לברכה 'בכל יום ויום בעינך דברי תורה חדשים' כאילו בו ביום נצטוית עליהם.
ואפשר שירמוז באומ' הוי שותה בצמא את דבריהם לשיזהר לקחת הדברים בהדרגה לאט לאט באופן שיהיה לעולם צמא למי דברי חכמים וחידותם. כי אם ירצה לידע בלתי הדרגה הדברים לא ידע אמתתם ויפול בטעות בנקל.
על כן אמר שישתה אותם מעט מעט באופן שלעולם יהיה צמא לידע עוד כי אם ידע יותר מהראוי לו בלתי הדרגה ישבע מיד ולא יצמא עוד, רק שישתה אותם באופן שבעוד שהוא שותה יהיה צמא למה שהוא שותה. ויהיה נמשל בזה למי ששותה המים המלוחים שכל עוד שישתה מהם יהיה יותר צמא. ועל כן אמר והוי שותה בצמא, כלומר, בעודך שותה תהיה צמא, ועל כן לא אמר והוי צמא לשתות דבריהם, אלא שיהיה שותה בצמא רוצה לומר בהיותו שותה יהיה בצמא כמדובר.

(א) בַּחֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֔י לְצֵ֥את בְּנֵי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל מֵאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרָ֑יִם בַּיּ֣וֹם הַזֶּ֔ה בָּ֖אוּ מִדְבַּ֥ר סִינָֽי׃ (ב) וַיִּסְע֣וּ מֵרְפִידִ֗ים וַיָּבֹ֙אוּ֙ מִדְבַּ֣ר סִינַ֔י וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר וַיִּֽחַן־שָׁ֥ם יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל נֶ֥גֶד הָהָֽר׃ (ג) וּמֹשֶׁ֥ה עָלָ֖ה אֶל־הָאֱלֹהִ֑ים וַיִּקְרָ֨א אֵלָ֤יו יְהֹוָה֙ מִן־הָהָ֣ר לֵאמֹ֔ר כֹּ֤ה תֹאמַר֙ לְבֵ֣ית יַעֲקֹ֔ב וְתַגֵּ֖יד לִבְנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ (ד) אַתֶּ֣ם רְאִיתֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתִי לְמִצְרָ֑יִם וָאֶשָּׂ֤א אֶתְכֶם֙ עַל־כַּנְפֵ֣י נְשָׁרִ֔ים וָאָבִ֥א אֶתְכֶ֖ם אֵלָֽי׃

(1) On the third new moon after the Israelites had gone forth from the land of Egypt, on that very day, they entered the wilderness of Sinai. (2) Having journeyed from Rephidim, they entered the wilderness of Sinai and encamped in the wilderness. Israel encamped there in front of the mountain, (3) and Moses went up to God. יהוה called to him from the mountain, saying, “Thus shall you say to the house of Jacob and declare to the children of Israel: (4) ‘You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Me.

(א) ומשה עלה וגו'. צריך לדעת למה עלה משה קודם שיקרא לו ה'. עוד צריך לדעת לאיזה מקום עלה, אם להר היה לו לומר אל ההר בפירוש...עוד יש לדקדק למה אמר הכתוב אל האלהים ולא אמר אל ה' כמו שגמר אומר ויקרא אליו ה' וגו':

(ב) אכן כוונת הכתוב היא להיות שקדם ה' ואמר למשה בסנה (לעיל ג' י"ב) בהוציאך את העם תעבדון את "האלהים" על ההר הזה, הוא מראהו כי שם הוא מקום קבלת התורה, אשר על כן בהגיעו שמה עשה משה משפט עבד נאמן וקדם ועלה אל ההר ולא הוצרך להזכיר ההר כיון שהזכירו בסמוך דכתיב נגד ההר ועליו חוזר אומרו ומשה עלה,

ואומרו אל האלהים הוא טעם עליתו, כי מה שייכות בעליה זו, לזה אמר "אל האלהים" שקדם אצלו מהבורא "תעבדון את האלהים על ההר הזה" לזה אם היה מתעכב עד שיקרא ה' אליו יראה התרשלות ומיעוט חשק בדבר, לזה תיכף קדם והכין עצמו ועלה, וזולת מה שקדם לו במאמר ה' תעבדון את האלהים לא היה עולה אל ההר.

(ג) ויקרא אליו ה'. פירוש כשקדם הוא ועלה, תכף קרא לו ה'. ויש לך לדעת כי בחינת הקדושה לא תקדים אלא למזמין אותה ומעיר על הדבר והוא מאמרם ז"ל (זהר ח"ג צ"ב) באתערותא דלתתא אתערותא דלעילא, והוא סוד אומרו (בראשית ב ו) ואד יעלה מן הארץ והשקה מלמעלה את כל פני האדמה, וירמוז באומרו ויקרא לשון יקר וגדולה עשה ה' למשה על הכנתו וזריזותו בדבר:

(1) ומשה עלה אל האלוקים, "and Moses went up unto G'd." Why did Moses go up before G'd had asked him to come up? Where to exactly did Moses go up? If he ascended the Mountain, why did the Torah not say so? Shemot Rabbah 28, bases itself on Psalms 68,19: עלית למרום, "you went up to celestial regions." If we accept this Midrash at face value, why did G'd afterwards have to call upon Moses from the Mountain if he was already in the celestial regions? Besides, why does the Torah describe Moses as going up to האלוקים instead of to השם seeing that when G'd called to him from the Mountain G'd is described as השם? (2) We have to understand what transpired in conjunction with G'd having told Moses already at the burning bush (3,12) that when the Israelites would arrive at this Mountain they would serve the Lord there. The term used there was את האלוקים. Moses, ever the faithful servant of the Lord, did not wait until he would be commanded to ascend the mountain but did so on his own initiative. There was no need to identify where Moses ascended to since the Torah had last spoken about the Mountain. The reason the Torah mentions Moses' destination as being אל האלוקים is precisely because it was the reason for his ascent. Moses felt that if he waited until he would be asked to ascend this would demonstrate both lethargy on his part, perhaps even unwillingness. This clears up all the apparent peculiarities in this verse. We do not believe that our approach contradicts the explanation offered by the Midrash as we view G'd's presence on the Mountain as including the Mountain in the celestial regions. (3) ויקרא אליו השם. G'd called out to him. As soon as G'd noticed that Moses was ascending, G'd called out to him. You have to remember that it is in the nature of קדושה, sanctity, not to make the first move towards a person until that person has made active preparations to welcome such sanctity. The Zohar third volume page 92 phrases it is as "invitations from the terrestrial regions being followed by invitations from the celestial regions." This is the mystical dimension of Genesis 2,6: "and a vapour rose from the earth and it irrigated (from above) the whole surface of the earth." When the Torah uses the term ויקרא for G'd calling to Moses it alludes to יקר, precious, (which is part of the word ויקרא. (4) מן ההר לאמור, from the Mountain, saying: Seeing that the word of G'd originates in the upper regions of the Heavens, for G'd had not yet descended on the Mountain, the Torah had to tell us that G'd commanded His voice to travel via the Mountain. Moses would hear G'd's instructions from there. The voice would travel in a straight line, in a very narrow channel and Moses would not hear it until he arrived on the Mountain. The two statements 1) ויקרא אליו השם, followed by מן ההר לאמור are to tell us that the word of G'd became audible only once it had "arrived" on the Mountain. Had the Torah not added the word לאמור, I would have thought that G'd's presence had already descended on the Mountain, something which was not the case. (5) כה תאמר לבית יעקב..אתם ראיתם, Thus you shalll say to the house of Jacob:…"you have seen, etc." Why did the Torah repeat itself by first saying תאמר and right afterwards תגיד? Our sages in Shemot Rabbah 28,2 explain that the term בית יעקב refers to the women who have to be addressed by אמירה, the soft-spoken approach, whereas to the בני ישראל Moses was to speak in words that were קשים כגידים, tough as sinews. The difficulty with this comment is that we have no evidence that Moses adopted a different mode of speech when he spoke to the men. He spoke to the men and women simultaneously; he either adopted the soft-spoken method or the hard line, but at any rate he is on record as only making one single address. The Mechilta understands the directive in verse 6 commencing with אלה as a warning not to either add or subtract a single word from what G'd instructed Moses to say. Even if we were to point to verse six where G'd said "these are the words you shall speak to the children of Israel" as a directive to speak sternly to the men only, where is there any mention that Moses addressed the women separately? It is also difficult to detect any harshness in the words Moses directed at the Israelites! (6) I believe I know how we have to understand what G'd had in mind. Let us first remind ourselves that it is an accepted principle of the Torah that the Lord G'd of Israel is always concerned with bestowing good on His creatures, more so even than the creatures themselves are anxious to become the recipients of such good. This principle applies in an even greater degree to G'd's chosen people. G'd employs His wisdom in order to give us a chance to acquire merits so that He has reason to increase the reward He wants to give us for מצוה performance. G'd has revealed, for instance, that the reward in store for someone who keeps the commandments out of fear that he will be punished if he fails to keep them is only half of the reward in store for people who observe such commandments out of a feeling of love for G'd. We know this from two verses dealing with the reward in store for keeping the commandments. In Deuteronomy 7,9 the Torah mentions G'd as keeping a reward in store for those who love Him for a thousand generations, whereas in Exodus 20,7 G'd is on record as doing the same for two thousand generations. [In the celestial regions G'd has administrators known as שר. Some of these administrators are in charge of rewards extending for one thousand generations, others are in charge of rewards extending for two thousand generations, compare Pardes Rimonim, Ed.] The reward in store for people who observe the commandments because of fear is entrusted to a שר האלף, a celestial administrator of a lower order, whereas the reward in store for people who observe the commandments out of a feeling of love for G'd is administered by a שר in charge of a higher order, i.e. שר האלפים. (7) While performance of the מצות out of a feeling of love for G'd is something very noble, it is also accompanied by a potentially dangerous phenomenon inasmuch as the very love one feels for G'd may make one careless. As a result, one may occasionally trespass and violate a commandment, and even assume that due to one's overall love for G'd and His Torah He would overlook such minor infractions. The reason one feels that way is because this is the way one treats one's friends and wants to be treated by them. In order to understand Moses' behaviour we must keep such considerations in mind. Moses was on such intimate terms with G'd that on occasion he permitted himself unbecoming remarks such as in Exodus 4,13 when he told G'd "send whom You are in the habit of sending." Another occasion when Moses permitted himself an unbecoming comment was in Exodus 5,22 when he asked G'd: "why did You make things worse for the people instead of saving them?" The only reason Moses could make such a slip was because he felt so close to G'd that he lost his sense of awe when facing G'd, something that would never have happened to a person less intimate with G'd. The fact is that G'd does not indulge people with whom He is intimate, He does not apply less stringent yardsticks when judging those who are close to Him. We have G'd on record in Deut. 10,17 as "not regarding persons i.e. not showing preference to those who are close to him, nor accepting a bribe." On the contrary, the closer a person has come to G'd the more exacting the yardstick by which G'd measures him. When a person who is close to G'd commits a minor infraction he is disciplined as we know from Psalms 50,3 וסביביו נסערה מאד, "those who are around Him (close to Him) are greatly agitated." Baba Kama 50 explains this to mean that G'd is so exacting with the pious people even if they deviate only by a hair's breadth. (8) When G'd was about to give the Torah to the people He intended to make that event one which would bestow the maximum merit on them. He had two options. 1) To address them with words of love and fondness. The result of such an address would be to implant in the people so much love that they would accept the Torah and qualify for the maximum amount of reward. The disadvantage accompanying such a method of giving the Torah would be the risk that the people would begin to feel so familiar with G'd that they would lose their sense of awe; this could become counter- productive; we have already described possible results of such feelings of familiarity with G'd. In other words, our relationship with G'd may either be based on the master-servant relationship or on the father-son relationship. If it is the former the feeling of awe before G'd will be present at all times, whereas if it is the latter there is always the danger that the "son" may take the love of the "father" for granted and abuse it on occasion. G'd's second alternative was to address the children of Israel in His capacity as a Master speaking to His servants. The advantage of such an approach was that the Israelites would not dare take any of the commandments lightly. On the other hand, such an approach would make it impossible for them to merit the greatest reward possible. (9) Keeping all this in mind, G'd opted for a method which would combine both approaches. When He told Moses כה תאמר, He meant that Moses should use the following approach: תאמר לבית יעקב ותגיד, "on the one hand speak to the people in a friendly soft-spoken approach, but תגיד employ also words tough as sinews." G'd meant for the אמירה to be used in Moses' address to some of the people, i.e. בית יעקב, whereas the תגיד was to be used when he addressed the בני ישראל, the remainder of the people. The בית יעקב is a reference to the spiritually less mature part of the people, whereas the term בני ישראל referred to the spiritual elite. Inasmuch as the elite was capable of accepting the Torah and observing it out of a feeling of love for G'd, they had to be reminded of the master-servant relationship which exists between G'd and us; the spiritually less mature section of the people, the בית יעקב on the other hand, had to be won over by stressing the father-son relationship which is part of our relationship with G'd. Every Jew needs to be aware of this dual relationship at all times if he wants to achieve the maximum reward that one can qualify for, and if he wants to avoid the pitfalls of feeling an undue familiarity with G'd. When the sages in the Midrash said that the בית יעקב refers to the women this is homiletics.

אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אֵין הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נוֹתֵן חָכְמָה אֶלָּא לְמִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ חָכְמָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״יָהֵב חׇכְמְתָא לְחַכִּימִין וּמַנְדְּעָא לְיָדְעֵי בִינָה״.

שְׁמַע רַב תַּחְלִיפָא בַּר מַעְרְבָא וְאַמְרַהּ קַמֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי אֲבָהוּ.

אָמַר לֵיהּ: אַתּוּן מֵהָתָם מַתְנִיתוּ לַהּ, אֲנַן מֵהָכָא מַתְנִינַן לַהּ, דִּכְתִיב: ״וּבְלֵב כׇּל חֲכַם לֵב נָתַתִּי חׇכְמָה״.

On a similar note, Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The Holy One, Blessed be He, only grants wisdom to one who already possesses wisdom, as it is stated: “He gives wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to they who know understanding” (Daniel 2:21). Rav Taḥalifa, from the West, Eretz Yisrael, heard this and repeated it before Rabbi Abbahu. Rabbi Abbahu said to him: You learned proof for this idea from there; we learn it from here: As it is written in praise of the builders of the Tabernacle: “And in the hearts of all who are wise-hearted I have placed wisdom” (Exodus 31:6).

(א) בן זומא אומר איזהו חכם הלומד מכל אדם. אמרו חכמי האומות כי היודע כל החכמות אם אינו אוהב החכמה אינו חכם אלא טפש הוא, אחר שאינו אוהב החכמה כי היא הדעת.

אך האוהב אותה ומתאוה אליה אע"פ שאינו יודע כלום הרי זה נקרא חכם שעל כל פנים תשיג אל החכמה האמיתית ודעת אלהים תמצא.

ועל זה אמר בן זומא איזהו חכם הלומד מכל אדם שכל כך אוהב החכמה ומתאוה אליה ששואל לכל אדם ואף מי שאינו יודע כי אם דבר (אחר) [אחד] ילמד ממנו ואז יצליח דרכו ואז ישכיל.

ועל זה נקרא חכם שנאמר מכל מלמדי השכלתי שכן אמר דוד ע"ה שלמד מכל אדם ולא היה אומר זה אינו יודע כמוני כי מכלם למד והשכיל. משל לאדם שהפסיד כלי קטן והלא מכל אדם מבקש אותו:

(1) Ben Zoma said, "Who is the wise one? He who learns from all men: The sages of the nations of the world have said one who knows all of the wisdoms [yet] does not love wisdom is not a wise man but a fool. As he does not love knowledge, which is intelligence. However, one who loves and desires it - even though he does not know anything - behold, this one is called a wise man. In any event, he will reach true wisdom and find knowledge of God. And about this Ben Zoma said, "Who is the wise one? He who learns from all men" - as so much does he love wisdom that he asks [it] from every person. And even from the one who only knows (another) [one] thing does he learn; and then his path becomes successful and he will become enlightened. And because of this he is called a wise one, as it says, "I have acquired understanding from all my teachers" (Psalms 119:99). As so did David, peace be upon him, say - that he learned from every person; and he did not say, "This one is not as knowledgeable as I." Rather he learned from them all and became enlightened. There is a metaphor [relevant to this] about a man that lost a small vessel - would he not seek it from every man?

...אמר וספרתם לכם ממחרת השבת מיום הניפכם את עומר התנופה שבע שבתות תמימות תהיינה עד ממחרת השבת וגו'. כי הוא מבואר שספירת הזמן, ולדבר מה, יורה על הצער ההוה בהעדרו ועל התענוג המקווה בהויית

מכל מקום יש בזה הערה נפלאה אל כוסף החכמה ואל ההשתדלות העצמי הראוי לעשות בעסק התורה ולמידתה למנות ימינו ושנותינו כדי שלא יצאו לריק ולא יבלו בבהלה (כמו שכתבנו בשער נ"ט). וכמו שאמרו ז"ל...והוי שותה בצמא את דבריהם (אבות פ"א) כי עקר כל ההשתדלות וההישרה בזה הוא תכלית הכוסף: כאשר הוא בשתיית הצמא וכמו שכתוב (ישעי' נ"ה) הוי כל צמא לכו למים וגי'. ללמד כי מי שאינו בא אל הלמוד בתורת רעב וצמא אין לו שום תועלת.

ולזה היתה ענין בשורה אומרו והשלחתי רעב בארץ לא רעב ללחם ולא צמא למים כי וגו' (עמוס ח'). כי מיד כשיהיו הדורות רעבים גם צמאים לבקש את דבר ה' מיד יפתח ה' להם את אוצרו הטוב ויאכלו ויותירו כדבר ה' וזהו הענין השני:

The second phase that winds us up towards proper appreciation of matan Torah, is the ceremony of the seven weeks of counting. When one desires something inordinately, one counts the days towards realisation of one's dreams. The closer that day approaches, the more intensely aware does one become of its impending realisation. Similarly, such count reflects the pain and anguish all the time the desired state has not yet been achieved. In the case of a woman suffering from flux, (Leviticus 15,28) even after the medical symptoms have disappeared, seven days must elapse before readmission to society from the state of isolation she has been in. If a seven day count is mandatory in order to enable her to rejoin ordinary society, the preparation for the revelation of G'd at Mount Sinai would obviously take longer, especially since the disease from which the Jewish nation recovered at the time of the Exodus, had left far deeper scars on the national body than the brief (sometimes lasting only three days) illness of the woman with the flux. The fact that this spiritual preparation could have been achieved in the brief space of seven weeks, is evidence of the help the Jewish people received from G'd. "I carried you on the wings of eagles." (Exodus 19,4.) G'd Himself speeded up the process and telescoped the time normally required into a minute fraction thereof. Since the feeling of not yet being worthy of the revelation is one of pain, we do not recite the benediction she-hecheyanu, "who has let us live to this day to fulfil etc." when performing the mitzvah of counting the Omer. A bride awaiting her wedding will hardly recite she-hecheyanu when informed that she is not yet spiritually pure enough to stand under the wedding canopy.

״אַשְׁרֵי הַגֶּבֶר אֲשֶׁר מִלֵּא אֶת אַשְׁפָּתוֹ מֵהֶם לֹא יֵבֹשׁוּ כִּי יְדַבְּרוּ אֶת אוֹיְבִים בַּשָּׁעַר״. מַאי ״אֶת אוֹיְבִים בַּשָּׁעַר״? אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא: אֲפִילּוּ הָאָב וּבְנוֹ, הָרַב וְתַלְמִידוֹ שֶׁעוֹסְקִין בַּתּוֹרָה בַּשָּׁעַר אֶחָד – נַעֲשִׂים אוֹיְבִים זֶה אֶת זֶה. וְאֵינָם זָזִים מִשָּׁם עַד שֶׁנַּעֲשִׂים אוֹהֲבִים זֶה אֶת זֶה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״אֶת וָהֵב בְּסוּפָה״, אַל תִּקְרֵי ״בְּסוּפָה״ אֶלָּא ״בְּסוֹפָהּ״.

“Say to wisdom: You are my sister, and call understanding your kinswoman” (Proverbs 7:4), which indicates that one should be as knowledgeable in the Torah as in the identity of his sister. And it states: “Bind them upon your fingers, you shall write them upon the tablet of your heart” (Proverbs 7:3). And it states: “As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of one’s youth” (Psalms 127:4). And it states: “Sharp arrows of the mighty” (Psalms 120:4). And it states: “Your arrows are sharp, the peoples fall under you” (Psalms 45:6). And it states: “Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be put to shame when they speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalms 127:5). The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the phrase “enemies in the gate” with regard to Torah study? Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba says: Even a father and his son, or a rabbi and his student, who are engaged in Torah together in one gate become enemies with each other due to the intensity of their studies. But they do not leave there until they love each other, as it is stated in the verse discussing the places the Jewish people engaged in battle in the wilderness: “Therefore it is said in the book of the wars of the Lord, Vahev in Suphah [beSufa], and the valleys of Arnon” (Numbers 21:14). The word “vahev” is interpreted as related to the word for love, ahava. Additionally, do not read this as “in Suphah [beSufa]”; rather, read it as “at its end [besofa],” i.e., at the conclusion of their dispute they are beloved to each other.
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